31.07.2023 Fur balls.

 ~o~

Monday 31st 61F [9.00]  Overcast and breezy with showers. I keep having long, very strange dreams. Ultra detailed in ultra high definition. Each has its own story line but remain foolish just the same. Still no chest pain.

 I may continue with the clearing and tidying. Boxes, with probable, charity donation material, have remained untouched for months. It can't go on like this. I'll have to pretend I have visitors coming more often. It seems to work for me psychologically. The visitors were very real. They just changed their plans as the day progressed. 

 I now find there is a clear parallel. In the restfulness of a newly empty floor space and a mowed lawn. There is less to offend the eye as it travels freely across the space available. I like the effect of having more bare floors. Previously I was clinging onto everything. Just to keep things unchanged. Perhaps half hoping they were just as they always were. As we slowly filled our small hovel with mere possessions. Until it could hold no more. 

 There was the constant desire to have a larger place to house and display our countless things. I would find another house advertised in our supposed price range. Then go off on a bout of search and record. Riding to the site. Taking pictures, listing details, studying every detail online. At least one visit was required to confirm the presence of a pig farm. Or an incessantly barking dog next door. Or even a demented farmer. Stacking every machinery possession against the boundary. Or, as happened so often, piling his hay bales so high and so close to the house for sale that it was perpetual night. These details and more: Aerial photography, maps, historical images, planning permissions, towering conifer plantations. All these were added to the sum of the parts.

 Researching every new, low budget property became a hobby in itself. Though it was ultimately unfulfilling and finally unfulfilled. My wife would accuse me of latching onto anything and everything new. So another hope was dashed by hideous reality. 

 Nice, spacious houses by the sea. With nice, established gardens and no neighbours. Just weren't offered at rock bottom prices. Their asking price was actually what they were really worth. Very little indeed. Not unless the buyer had imagination, wealth and a tame, bulldozer driver. 

 As happened with the last, old farmhouse I researched and we visited several times. I repeatedly asked my wife if we should place a deposit. It wasn't to be. Hundreds of years of small farming were swept away. To build a wooden summer house near the sea. With a smart car to park outside. Only while in residence.

 Somewhat ironically, I now find it quite pleasant. To come back to our much changed, newly isolated hovel in bright sunshine. It had everything we needed except common sense. Oh, and far too many neighbours from hell! Now all gone, thank god. Alas the damage cannot be undone. The vast hedges needed. To provide my wife with any sense of security or privacy, are now safely trimmed. She wouldn't recognize the place now. Neither inside nor out. She would be absolutely furious!

9.40. 64F. It has finally brightened up. With fast moving clumps of cloud. I'll try a short walk. Ouch! Just getting my light, cotton jacket on was agonizing. My left shoulder now requires special routines to dress normally. I have no idea why it hurts so much when flexed in particular ways. No particular memory of injury or undue stress springs to mind.

10.30 67F. I made it further today without pain or incident. My jacket was too warm in the sunshine despite the wind. Yesterday's dead polecat had changed. From being a gorgeous fur coat. To an oversized, damp rat. All in only one, very wet day. Which suggests that constant care of their fur is important. I can't put off shopping for much longer.

 12.30 I risked a pre-lunch ride to the village shops. The sky was really threatening. With rolls, or pleats, stacked one upon each other. Black clouds above a below. It stayed dry on the way there despite the overhead darkness. Truly inky towards the north. Even the hint of a tornado forming underneath not far to the west. A sprinkle of raindrops on the way back. Though I returned still dry. Turbo mode hastes my journey when really called for. Still no chest pain.

 20.45 61F. Yesterday I was very good and made a huge salad. So tonight I could be naughty or lazy. I chose naughty. Only slightly ameliorated by the fish content of the menu.

~o~