28th January 2019 Through the bleak midwinter.

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Monday 28th, 36F,  dark grey overcast and slightly misty with very light winds and wintry showers forecast. Walked up to the woods and back down again by another way. A solitary Whooper swan went over standing our starkly against the drab countryside. A wet and rather miserable day.

Tuesday 29th 27-33F, -3+1C, calm. Potential for early sunshine between the clouds. Overnight snow of less than an inch. Walked up to the woods again by yet another route and different again on the way home. I'm lucky to have so many possibilities.

Wednesday 30th 30F, cold, breezy and dark grey. Expected to remain dry but with increasing wind and hovering around freezing. There was a cool breeze as I walked to the lanes. The watery sunshine was obscured by thin cloud and provided no warmth.

The Canadian Arctic is so now warm that mosses and plants which grew 100,000 years ago in an interglacial period are being exposed. Scientists hope to be able to bring some of them back to life.

Thursday 31st 32F, dark grey with new, but light, overnight snow. Walked to the lanes. A few snow flurries during the day. Heavy shopping in the car.

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24th January 2019 Brrr!

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Thursday 24th, 24.8F, -4C, cold, dark grey and breezy. I was fairly comfortable on the first half of my walk. At the turn it put me face on into the light Easterly wind. I doubt it was more than 5mph but my own forward velocity made it feel even colder. The GripGrab Nordic mitts were fine on the outward leg but lacked enough natural warmth for the return journey. I wasn't making much warmth from walking to keep my extremities cosy.

I was walking with my hands behind my back with my hands folded over each other. Even in my fleece trousers over skiing long johns I could feel the cold pressing onto my legs. The jacket had also found its limits despite two jumpers over a T-shirt and then a fleece jacket for extra layers. Yesterday I was too warm and walking with my hat and gloves off. Another day when the temperatures will not rise above freezing. With possibly heavy snow forecast for the days ahead. It stayed at 24-25F, -4C all day as I worked outside on a woodworking project.

Friday 25th 25F, -4C, dark grey but calm start. Heavy snow expected later. It didn't feel as cold today. The wind had gone round to the SW. Just a 40 minute walk to the lanes. It's amazing how many people wave as they pass in their cars and vans. I suppose they see me every day on their commute and I seem familiar. Heavy shopping in the car.

Saturday 26th 32F, dark grey and breezy but falling calm. The inch of overnight snow is already melting with rain expected. It was slippery and drizzling on my walk. With the roads slushy in stripes. I retreated onto the verge with the arrival of each vehicle. Most of them got the right idea and continued in their lane. Those who pulled further out sprayed slush everywhere and risked their adhesion! The usual Saturday morning shooting broke out from different directions but all were out of sight. The sky is clearing, briefly, to weak sunshine now. Becoming very misty.

Sunday 27th 38F, dark grey, misty, all day rain forecast. Busied myself on woodworking projects despite the rain.

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23rd January 2019 The Expedition!

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Wednesday 23rd 29-30F, dark grey and breezy. Expected to stay under freezing point all day. Brr! Visitors to Davos are using between 1500 and 2000 private planes to reach a talk about climate. No wonder you can't lay your hands on an organic lettuce for love of [sic] money. Months have passed without finding our usual rabbit fodder on the shelves.

The BBC talks about online "influencers" being named and shamed. To make them declare their commercial interests in gifts and sponsorship of products they endorse. I wish! 😇

Today's walk was more of an expedition. I donned my alpine gaiters in readiness for the first direct ascent, in winter, of the vertiginous, east face, leading up to the woods. Fortunately somebody had left a fixed rope on the difficult pitch leading to a very exposed traverse. Pride has its place but it often comes before a fall. So I took a firm grip and overcame the otherwise, complete lack of hand holds.

A biting wind hampered my efforts to make further headway against tormenting brambles in the temperate zone. As I trudged onwards and upwards to finally reach the limited shelter of the summit forest. Made transparent by winter and where I surprised a [mountain?] deer. Tall trees, left exposed by clear felling swayed ominously. Patiently waiting for the next storm to topple them.

I walked a long loop on the snow covered, forest tracks. Wondering as to my safety with so many large dog footprints everywhere. Though I don't think wolves have reached the island of Fyn. At least not yet.

There are at least four tones to walking in a forest. The deepest is from tromping across freeze-dried and worm-tilled top soil. The next the sound of boots breaking though unseen ice over long-dry puddles. The metallic skitter and rattle of gravel climbs in frequency. Followed by the high pitched rustle and crackle of generations of dried beech leaves squashed underfoot.

View from the summit over the soaring foothills and glaciers below.

There is a fifth, as boots crunch through crisp snow but its depth constantly alters the tone. An hour and half later I braved the winds again on the last exposed slopes on the descent. With the constant risk of an avelance, of photographs, abjectly failing to capture the moment.

I should have worn crampons, if I had any, for the very last meter of polished ice at the tradesman's gate. Only the finely honed agility and balancing skills of a well-worn tricyclist saved the day!

The risk of an errand has the potential for a ride. First I must make an impassioned appeal to a higher court, in triplicate, to be allowed out. The Head Gardener is a strict disciplinarian when it comes to unnecessary gallivanting. Anyone would think I was trying to escape! And did. If only for a while. In bright, but weak, sunshine, no less. Seven miles. The GripGrab Nordic mitts were fine at 29F. I hit 114rpm, briefly, on one slight incline, but only because I missed a gear. Without enough asthma medication to kill a horse I couldn't keep it up for long. Silly old wotsit. 😊

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21st January 2018. Snow and cabin fever.

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Monday 21st, 32-36F, dark grey cloud with an inch of snow lying this morning. The roads were very wet but had been salted. To form long, slush dams so that the traffic could throw up a cometary plume of spray. I retreated to the back of the verge with each vehicle passing. It all helps to spread the salt around for rapid snow removal.

The low, misty cloud was being rapidly swept away by a cold south-westerly. Leaving the sun clear to break though. The Head Gardener suggested that it would be a poor day for an outing and I had to reluctantly agree.

Tuesday 22nd 32F, cold, dark grey and very misty. I have to go out or we shall almost certainly starve at Chez Hovel. Local cats are beginning to look quite tasty for a quick fry up. The dogs know us all too well and always keep a wide berth. The last of the furniture has been split for kindling. I have cleared the last of the snow, at tongue point, just to get warm.

We have no family silver to exchange for a decent Nouvelle Cuisine, organic, Supersize, nosh up at the local McSlob's. The nearest soup kitchen might as well be on the Far Side of The Moon. Cabin fever has already set in and The Head Gardener is getting distinctly "uppity!" Where will it all end? I'd better start with a short walk and work my way up from there. I wonder who legally owns all that potential firewood in the roadside hedges?

No walk but I was allowed out by the tradesman's entrance to collect firewood. Only just in the nick of time too. As our kindling reserves were down to sawdust, potential splinters and wishful thinking.

I bartered some plastic waste for a few items of nourishment and returned to the fold. A number of birds of prey had given me a filthy look as I passed in the car. No doubt thinking the twin horrors of my emaciation and mobile imprisonment would curtail any chance of a light snack at my expense. It's all tooth and claw, in Viking Country, where meals on wheels is concerned!

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17th January 2019 Snowman's Revenge!

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Thursday 17th 38F, grey and breezy with wintry showers and some sunshine promised. 2018 was the hottest ever for ocean temperatures and follows a rapidly rising trend over the last few years.

It started raining as I left by the tradesman's gate. By the time I had reach the neighbour's carport it was raining hard. His pond looked like a Hollywood piranha attack.

Fortunately the downpour soon went off and I could leave my impromptu shelter and continue. A mass of low, grey cloud was racing across the landscape from the south west. Above it a ceiling of bright blue sky and light, fluffy cloud. The sun threatened briefly but was soon gone to the rapidly increasing overcast. An untidy straggle of geese went over heading south. We lost 4 degrees F over the course of the day. With increasing wind and light flurries of snow in the afternoon.

Friday 18th 28F, -2C, clear and calm. In baking news. Australia had a temperature of 49.6C  with bats falling like leaves from the trees.

In braking news: A US driver, who drove onto a private house lawn intending to destroy a 9' tall snowman, destroyed his truck instead. On the massive tree trunk buried inside. Judging from the tyre tracks the house was the lucky escapee. As the hidden tree trunk safely stopped the vehicle before any damage was caused.

No doubt the driver will be appealing for an empathetic "ambulance chaser." Who will sue the home owner for damage to his truck. Can I nominate this driver for the Darwin Awards? For raising sandcastle kicking to a new level of self-inflicted injury. There's a joke in there about white supremacy but I'll leave it well alone.

Driver rams into snowman built on huge tree trunk

Saturday 19th  24F, -4C, clear, calm and misty with a hard, white, hoar frost. It all looks incredibly cold out there with great potential for photography.The early mist was ground hugging, very localized and dense. Making the chilly landscape more attractive. However, the mist was soon gone. To be replaced by a more general, low cloud. We needed more fuel so I shopped from the car. Isn't it amazing how many drivers have "special powers" in thick mist?

The Duke of Edinburgh is on a roll. So he has announced a new award for royal drivers who reach the age of 97. It's called a Duke of Edinburgh [Personal] Award. The prize is a brand new Land Rover delivered, next day, to your palace door, entirely at taxpayer's expense. 😉

Sunday 20th 22.8F, -5C, calm and almost clear after a hard, overnight frost. In bright sunshine I walked across the "prairie" up to the woods. Then back down by another route beside the frosted fields. Two deer were grazing in a hollow in the woods.

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14th January 2019 Braking News & iSlavery.

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Monday 14th 32F, still dark at 8am but the sky is clear and ready for some windy sunshine. Venus is fiercely brilliant in the SW as the sky begins to brighten with a tobacco filter effect. 

In braking[sic] news, Cadillac announces an electric traction engine with a vast, 1950s, radiator grill designed to do maximum damage to pedestrians.

In other, braking news, Americans are more likely to die from an overdose than to die than on the roads.

I enjoyed a windy walk in bright sunshine up to the woods and back along the field edges. Don't be tempted by 'outdoor' jackets with a vent across the back. They feel cold in windy weather and do nothing to keep you cool. Under-arm vents are far more useful. As is leaving the jacket open when not actively required.

Tuesday 15th 38F, dark grey and cool. Only a light westerly wind today but rain and more wind is forecast. Just a short, 40 minute walk to the lanes. It stayed dry but dark grey. The rain came later.

Wednesday 16th 43F, mild, dark grey and breezy with rain and more wind forecast for this afternoon. Brexit is officially Broxit. Women and children into the lifeboats first, please!

I hear Nike has invented self lacing sports shoes for people who are too fat or lazy to bend over. What's next? Self zipping jogging suits for the chronically obese? Isn't that like voluntarily "fat shaming" yourself?

YouTube is pretending to remove videos of dangerous stunts, pranks and challenges. US teenagers are dropping like flies from eating detergent or jumping off buildings while blindfolded. While others are dropping like lead balloons from energy drinks, self-abuse.

It seems they [YT] can't hire enough iSlaves in Africa and India to monitor their [YT's] own content. Income is so low for iSlavery that even the homeless poor can't afford to work for the trillion dollar IT companies. When they, the iSlaves, would be better off foraging for food on the waste tips for 20 hours a day.

The same iSlavers use iSlaves in piss poor countries to monitor and micro manage road mapping for self driving cars too, apparently. It must be nice to think of yourself as a hereditary IT monarch. Chosen by god [or the Segovia Devil] to be in charge of Google, Facebook or Amazon.

Just imagine what could be done with the hundreds of millions in "severance" payments paid to managers for being over-active perverts or bullies? A bit of "local severance" would have worked wonders with this scum.

It stayed dry for my morning walk as I struggled to capture the drab greyness of it all. I saw a tight flock of 40-odd Goldfinches foraging restlessly in the roadside hedges. My TZ7 camera has developed another, large, dirt spot on the sensor. So I shall have to dismantle it again to save having to disguise its presence on every image with a bit of sky. It's exhausting, this digital photography stuff. 

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12th January 2019 The Darwin Awards

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Saturday 12th 41F, dark grey with racing clouds and heavy showers. Walked to the village and back.

An American teenager has donned a blindfold to drive a car into approaching traffic. No doubt the Guinness Book of World Records will be checking whether one red sock and one blue were being worn at the time. As per their strict regulations for awarding all new, qualifying records. It certainly brings the world to yet another level of copycat idiocy of fictional scenes shown in Netflix's totally ridiculous "Birdbox."

Doctors were reported to have been completely unable to find any brain matter, at all, in a subsequent health check of the young [hopefully, ex]driver.

Provided the "victim" can stump up a few dollars for a desperate 'ambulance chaser' the teenager will probably pay a pocket money fine of one chocolate bar. And, be banned for precisely 0.3 minutes if at any time, in the future, they should practice their blindfolded, driving skills again.

That's the problem with Darwin's rules for survival. Wealth always intervenes to skew the results. While owning a driving license is an unquestioned, basic human right. Even for the repeatedly genocidal.

The latest news is yet another suicide risk from followers of some utterly pointless, online drivel called "a challenge for drooling morons." At least the suspect, who confessed to starting the craze, was half right. Not all humans are equally endowed with grey matter. Some are merely voluntary, disposable, vegetable matter.

There are countless morons on YouTube who believe in an alternative reality which is so easily disproved that it shouldn't need to be mentioned. They automatically disbelieve everything they cannot see with their own eyes. But have no will to open them to the countless videos right alongside the moronic tripe and transparent lies they so avidly support.

Perhaps they think they are rebelling against something? Just as we did by all wearing exactly the same clothes [Flared Levis and T-shirts] and growing our hair long. There were plenty of puppet masters making a vast fortune at our expense back then too.

Long time builders of diesel traction engines, Land Rover, is laying off thousands of workers. Relying for too long on borrowed snob value of royalty, the upper classes, African nature programmes and armed forces use. Their vehicles never seemed to change except for the exorbitant prices.

It is reported that 71% of all Range Rovers and Land Rovers break down each year and have received the right, royal honour of becoming the least reliable mark. I seem to remember that a public, autonomous emergency brake test [AEB] failed abysmally leading to a recall. They, Rover, are still bragging about it on their propaganda websites.

It all smacks of the collapse of the British motorcycle and car industry back in the 60s. The new Japanese bikes were as fast as the cast iron garden gates but with half the capacity, half the cost and half the weight of the Rockers' once favourite, pre-war technology, mounts.

Now Tesla is disturbing the filthy icicles of whole ranges of vehicles frozen forever in some fictitious past. As the Chinese practice their fast track, technological revolution. Simply by studying the failures of the opposition to adapt to the new climate. No doubt the same holds true for the climate-denying, politicooze. All riding their private gravy train of musical chairs towards the yawning abyss of hideous, everyday reality. The rest, as they say, is history. It will not be pretty.

Sunday 13th 41F, dark grey, misty, showers, or rain and becoming windy. I left into heavy drizzle but it slowly petered out. A driver had cut a corner up ahead and was proceeding along the middle of the road to avoid me. When an oncoming car suddenly emerged from the next, blind corner. Producing a violent reaction in the first, which demanded I take quickly to the soggy verge for my own safety.

Over a dozen SUVs went past in a ragged convoy of tyre spray. Obviously on their way to disturbing the Sunday morning peace. At 9.35am precisely cries and shouts could be heard from across the damp fields. As dark figures surrounded an innocent copse. Only a few shots were exchanged before half of them gave up and returned to their cars arranged along the lane. The racing dogs and their handlers moved onto another copse, with menaces, but no more shots were heard.

It seems that a software update caused Lime electric scooters, in Switzerland  to suddenly brake and throw off their riders. All the scooters have been withdrawn for repairs. No doubt we can all look forward to flying cars enjoying short cuts over major airports, or nuclear power stations, after a software update.

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10th January 2019 Precious moments.

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Thursday 10th 28F, frosty with gorgeous skies and very light winds. A huge pig transporter was traveling so fast that it overshot a corner to almost place itself on the opposite verge. Only a miracle prevented a head-on crash with a packed school bus or petrol tanker. Just another moving accident waiting to happen.

There was a very long sunrise as I walked across "the prairie" taking pictures every few seconds.

Assens was visible in the distance from the top of the hill. As I descended by the crunchy edges of the fields, the sun grazed the gently rolling landscape below me, with freshly washed light.

Several Hooper swans passed over well below a hundred feet. Like cruise missiles on a mission with squeaky wings. Are they panting from exertion?

Friday 11th 43F, a grey, quiet start with some sunshine and wind threatened for later. It started brightly for my walk but then clouded over. The sky remained rather 'milky' from high cloud for the rest of the day. I was allowed out for a shopping ride. Only 7 miles, returning into the wind.

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8th January 2019 How much?!*!#!*!?

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Tuesday 8th 42F, dark grey with rain or showers. No walk nor ride today. Shopped for heavy stuff in the car.

Denmark's lack of electric car sales has had a knock-on effect. Car manufacturers can't keep up with demand elsewhere as they ramp up production of an unfamiliar vehicle type. So Denmark will at the bottom of the list with supplies of these still rationed products. Countries with the strongest demand will be rewarded by getting their EVs first. While Danish [potential] EV buyers will have to be far more patient.

40,000 Norwegians are on a waiting list for EVs. While Danes bought less than 5000 electric vehicles in all of 2018. Denmark's population is slightly larger at 5.6 million than Norway's at 5.1 million. The Norwegian government has encouraged EV purchase. Just as does the UK with a £3500 discount.

Denmark's right wing government destroyed demand overnight with massive import registration charges. The price of a Tesla effectively tripled! The price of the upcoming Model 3, in Denmark, will be the highest in any car market in the world. Presently listed at £60,000  and £70,000 British Pounds [equivalent in Danish Kroner.] This is for the two models currently available. £70,000 UK = $90,000 US. The Model 3 costs just $35,000 in the US. Tesla has a waiting list of over 1/3 of a million vehicles.The rest can't move their filthy, outdated, genocidal products with all their global tolls on public health.

Imagine that you are a Dane, have paid a deposit and have been on the official waiting list for years for your Tesla. Finally you get the message that it is now your turn to have one. How much?!*!#!*!? You do the maths!

I was actually allowed out for a late morning, shopping ride! Only 7 miles but it all adds up [to almost nothing.] Strong NW wind meant I hit 22mph at one point on the way but crawled back at 6-8mph. With rain drops stinging my eyes over the tops of my cheapo, yellow safety glasses. Unlike the millionaire, professional slaves to commercial sponsorship, I can dress appropriately for the weather.

Being a sensible human being I don't wear dark glasses in heavily overcast weather. Nor do I go out in fingerless mitts to climb mountain passes when the temperature drops below zero and there is snow on the verges. No do I wear all black kit on crowed roads. That would be just plain silly. Even amateurish? Imagine a millionaire <cough> "professional" pulling out of any other "world champion class" sports competition just because the sun went behind a cloud? Welcome to professional cycling.

Wednesday 9th 36F, cold, dark grey and very windy. Some sun is forecast for later.It took until 10.20 before we had bright sunshine between the ragged clouds. I was well wrapped up for my walk and grateful for it. In fact I was leaning on the wind for much of the time. The trees were rocking and every blade of grass shaking in the cold, northerly wind. I'd say it was blowing a steady 30mph.

I ought to repeat my satisfaction with the GripGrab Nordic "camel toe" winter mitts. They are superb for windproof comfort without weight, bulk, stiffness nor unwanted warmth. And no, I am not sponsored nor have anything given to me for a free, positive review.

Any advertising you see here has nothing to do with me and I would strongly advocate you avoid anything you ever see advertised anywhere. Advertising is a global scourge. Those who perpetrate it should be treated with as much respect as lifelong criminals.

Most advertising is fraud, by default, IMHO. With "entitled millionaire slebs" selling positive reviews for cash or free products you can't even believe "word of mouth" recommendations any more. I strongly advise you to employ an ad blocker to protect your own sanity and purse from these recidivist crooks. If you hit a website which demands you close your ad blocker then simply close their website. There are ALWAYS alternative sources of information. Magazines perpetrated advertising fraud for over a century before the internet widened their markets for many more naive and gullible, snake oil, sales victims.

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7th January 2019 EV's in Denmark going at a snail's pace.

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Monday 7th 41F, mild and dark grey. There were brief spots of blue between the dark grey clouds but the dark grey clouds won. I stepped onto the verge to let a massive container lorry go past without having to drive around me. Thinking the danger was over I stepped back onto the road. Only to be sprayed from head to foot several seconds after the passing of the lorry. Fortunately I was near enough to home to be able to rinse my stinging eyes and face within a few minutes.

The neighbour's lawn has got away from him again.

Some relevant snippets from the news: HALF of ALL cars sold in Norway this year [2019] will be electric. Based on the past few years, in Denmark, only [about] 221,000/5000 or 1/44th, will be electric vehicles. Denmark is right at the bottom of European EV sales, by a wide margin, due massive import charges. Presently 85% below + 150% over a set price.

Despite its market being publicly executed in Denmark, Tesla is building a car making factory in Shanghai. This to take advantage of strong local and global demand by reducing transport costs and local import charges for the Asian market. They still do not receive the heavy government subsidies available to local car making and other Chinese companies.

The US government heavily subsidized its backward looking, car manufacturers for years since the Deliberate Bank Crash. Only for them to close factories as sales for 1960s gas guzzlers collapse and pressure from Tesla <cough> "fuels" demand for modern EVs increases. i.e. Electric Vehicles with class leading safety. Plus a performance which crushes tuned "muscle" cars on real drag strips. Only wimps drive muscle cars these days. They are so yesterday. So comparatively undernourished and expensive to run. Clint Eastwood had real hair when muscle cars were fashionable.

There is more invested in Tesla failing than in its continuing growth. Yet Tesla sold more cars by value and quantity then any other manufacturer. There is also a massive negativity campaign being waged against Tesla by fossil fuel interests amongst the tax-free 1%. Which owns much of the fossil fuel, media and most of the world's politicians.

Their sock puppet, German immigrant, Herr Chancellor Chump is aiding and abetting the trend towards mass producing more coal-fired, steam traction engines at US taxpayer's expense. Fred Dibnah would certainly have approved! 😊 A born-again Victorian, he lived a century beyond his allotted time. Fred didn't worry about this year's 3% increase in CO2 by the US.

The US: The only major land mass not to sign up to averting climate change. Because German immigrant, Herr Chancellor Chump doesn't believe in anything. Except for "greed works" for those with the [mining] village [idiot] mentality, like himself.

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4th January 2019 Danish supermarket doublespeak.

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Saturday 5th 41-45F, rather grey with westerly winds. I'm off to be cheated by more distant supermarkets. No names. No pack drill. No prosecution. There was a crosswind with a tail component on the way. I was cruising at 18-20pmph at times. Coming back was much harder work. Only 15 miles. The special offers proved to be the same as last week and the week before. Exactly the same stock which hadn't moved last two times when I went off full of optimism.

There are two languages in Denmark: Supermarket lies and the language which everyone else speaks. For example: "Flere variationer" means several varieties in ordinary Danish. In Supermarket doublespeak it means "only one variety if they have any stock at all."

"Tilbud" means special offer in everyday Danish. In Supermarket doublespeak it means "no change in price." Or, "we have taken these goods off the shelf, until the following week, jut in case anybody accidentally gets a discount at our own expense."

Sunday 6th 32-38F, thick mist. Still pitch dark at 8.00am. I left after 9am for a 40 minute walk in light traffic and 100 yards mist. If there was any change in driving speed it was imperceptible. The few cars I saw either overshot the blind corners or cut them going the other way. The frost was only visible on the grass and brambles and soon melted as temperatures soared to 34F. The mist is slowly thinning to about 150-200 yards visibility at 10.30 am.

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4th January 2019 Got footage? YOU are the criminal!

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Friday 4th 38F, thick cloud, dark  and breezy. At 8.00am it was still too dark to see any difference between the east and west of the sky. It looked for a while as if the thick, low cloud was dispersing. To leave a lighter grey overcast. Now the dark, low stuff is back. I've promised myself a ride to the shops! And was allowed out for an 8 mile ride.

The local supermarkets are charging  more at the checkout for goods than the printed labels on their shelves. They used to prosecute and heavily fine such behaviour in Gravely Blighted.

Unfortunately Denmark has no consumer protection. Though it does have monopoly money, monopoly supermarket chains who consider themselves well above the law. Their favourite trick is advertising special offers which never [ever] arrive in the shops. This happens on a weekly basis. Or advertising special offers but not changing the shelf labels so they can still charge full price without anyone noticing. [Except me.]

Denmark's criminals are protected by vicious privacy laws. The UK police welcome dashcam videos of dangerous driving. Danish police prosecute owners of dashcams who share their footage. Posting images or video of any criminal behaviour online in Denmark will fetch a fine or prison sentence many times higher than the sanctions on the original criminal behaviour. It is illegal to have security cameras which cover the public domain. But the police go around asking camera owners for footage which might capture a terrorist after a mass murder.

If I were to name the supermarket here. Or show the shelf price labels and my printed receipts, on my blog or on YouTube. It is I who WOULD BE PROSECUTED.

If I were to share footage of lethally dangerous driving online, taken by my action cam or any other camera then I WOULD BE PROSECUTED. I stopped having the camera fixed on my trike once I discovered this hideous truth. It would be far too tempting to use the footage to try and achieve justice. Or at least take one raving sociopath off the roads for five and a half minutes. Depending on their ability to easily afford a team of lawyers.

This image was taken by The Head Gardener.

In the UK there are numerous road safety pioneering cyclists with action cams. They have been sharing [on YouTube] other road user's idiocy and criminal behaviour for many years. Such behaviour would give the vlogging cyclist a long criminal record in Denmark.

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2nd January 2019 Perishing!

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Wednesday 2nd 36F, very windy but clear. There was only a low bank of cloud blocking the sunrise as I walked to the lanes. The sky was otherwise, completely clear. With a fine crescent moon pointing at brilliant Venus. 

I had added a thick, fleece jacket, fleece trousers and yellow safety glasses to my usual winter walking garb. Now well zipped up to the nose I was fairly well protected from the cold and raggedy, northerly wind. Though the glasses soon had a deep rim of tears with white horses and breakers cascading over my cheeks. The sun rose free just in time to blind me on the last leg. Am I having fun yet?

Thursday 3rd 23F, -5C, a hard, white frost but now it's calm. A sunny start, when it finally gets high enough to be seen. Suitably bundled up I set off my morning walk. Much to my surprise I saw a hot air balloon. It was poorly placed for photography being so low. Just as I tried to capture a snap of the already distant balloon, a hooded crow landed in the foreground.

This is probably only the third balloon I have seen since coming to Denmark over two decades ago.  Where we once lived in the UK, more than 35 year ago, they were almost a daily occurrence.

After failing to obtain any more pictures of the balloon I pressed on to find a family of three deer grazing on a quiet, field track. They kept moving slowly away until they were finally able to escape. The large, village pond was well covered in noisy Mallards all busy keeping a channel ice free. Again they were difficult to capture due to the foreground shrubbery.

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1st January 2019 A bit of a blow.

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Tuesday 1st January 2018: 43F. Heavy cloud passing rapidly over with clear gaps in between.  A walk to the village in very light traffic but the roadside trees were roaring to make up for it. Tyre roar is remarkably similar to wind in the trees and hedges.

The roads were covered in fallen twigs and flattened worms. An elderly couple, walking their dogs, dashed all hope that I was the last person left alive after last night's fierce "gun battles."

Strong gusts are expected to reach above 20m/s [45mph] all day with possible 50mph gusts. Base wind speed is up around 20-30mph for much of the day. It's an ill wind because north westerlies are out best direction for local tree shelter.

This same wind direction piles up the water in the sea channels surrounding Denmark and raises coastal sea levels. Many of the sea bridges joining the three main landmasses become impossible for wind-sensitive traffic. Not that it will stop them from trying.

 Varsler: DMI

The incredible detail available on the DMI [Dansk Meteorological Institute] online forecasts is obvious. This is the science of weather forecasting. Not some bimbo talking nineteen to the dozen over a simplified map for dummed down, BBC viewers.

Varsler means warning in Danish and the colour shows the danger level. Vandstand means water levels. Orange is worse than yellow. The west coast of Jylland [Jutland] always cops the worst of any heavy weather coming over the North Sea. Much of our weather is secondhand from Gravely Blighted. This time it's coming more from the Iceland direction.

It is ironic that Australia is "enjoying" temperatures in degrees C which match ours in degrees F. I prefer ours to be in F after last summers endless heatwave and drought. Though the Danes use the Centigrade scale too I am more used to Fahrenheit from a British upbringing. The Meteorological Office kindly waited until I left before sneaking in the utterly meaningless Centigrade scale. Where a change of only couple of degrees can mean the difference between life and death.

Last night's, New Year fireworks followed the usual pattern. With long periods without a sound and short period of heavy explosions. After the midnight cacophony there was another racket at 12.40. Colourful fountains of light showed all around the horizon when I looked out after midnight. Nobody gives a damn about the law regarding keeping safe distances from thatched properties. Fortunately the thatch is usually sopping wet at this time of year.

It is usual to wish one's reader's a Happy New Year. Well, I did that last year and just look what happened! I have become a bit of a cynic of late. It must be something to do with my age. All those transparent lies from the politicooze are bound to get noticed eventually.

Will Breaksit end my enforced exile? Will I be all the poorer whatever happens? Provided you can get Netflix and YouTube with decent signal quality it hardly matters where you live any more. Take my word for it. It's about as reliable as any other's out there. I keep trying to think of a resolution to make. But lack the imagination to come up with anything I wouldn't break by Thursday.

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