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Wednesday 10th 55F/13C [7.30] Bright, breezy and sunny but a risk of showers.
Up at 6.30 after an awful night. Endless coughing. Last day of the antibiotics.
8-something. I had decided I was ready for my first walk since leaving hospital. So I trundled rather steadily around the loop on the back field. Where the distant neighbour's drives run in parallel. I had reached the midpoint and was tootling across the edge of their parking gravel. When the world suddenly started spinning wildly! The ground no longer existed. I staggered backwards for a few meters before collapsing onto the wet grass.
A nice neighbour dashed across to see how I was doing. It must have been quite spectacular as well as slightly worrying. She rang for the ambulance and explained the situation. I passed on my symptoms and related to my history of heart problems, coughing for a fortnight, lack of sleep etc.
The heart problems became the trigger for diagnosing a potential stroke. I was still kneeling with my eyes covered with my hand to exclude all light. As I began to decorate the grass with my porridge flakes. Repeatedly. Ad nauseam. The ambulance quickly arrived and there was a multi-way discussion. Feedback to the hospital as they spoke to my neighbour, to me, to a cardiologist and then to a neurologist. Probably not a stroke nor even heart related then. Possibly an erratic boulder in my inner ear.
The ambulance would take me to the more distant hospital without flashing blue lights any other unnecessary disturbance. The nearest hospital would have been the obvious choice for heart analysis and emergency treatment. The two ambulance staff had to physically lift and carry me over to the trolley/bed on the drive. Thus began one of the worse experiences of my life! There followed the half hour journey while suffering from vertigo on steroids. Every corner, slowing or acceleration made me throw up into a bag. Several bags in fact.
Then the heart pain started. The same symptoms as my previous heart attack. Now they were talking about ordering the helicopter. I suggested we try the nitro first. A trip in a helicopter while suffering from acute vertigo would require a complete repaint! The nitro had no effect for the first time ever. Usually it takes a couple of seconds for immediate relief.
Multiple ECGs [?] and other, on board monitoring suggested no changes to my dodgy heart. We'd continue onto the distant medical hospital. An accident of long and thin, county council boundaries.
By then the vertigo was beginning to lose its grip. I began to experiment by opening first one eye. Then the other. Inside of the ambulance. At first it began to spin. Eventually I could open one and then both eyes continuously. Just as we pulled up the hospital doors! Now I was as normal as I would ever be.
I was obviously a complete fraud. A bad case of false symptom advertising. No real symptoms. Just a few used bags of vomit to my name. They cheerfully wheeled me into an acceptance room. Where I hesitantly achieved what passes for my version of upright. The staff stood around me. Ready to catch me if I wobbled.
Then the poor, but pretty, duty nurse wiped me down with multiple wet wipes. The ambulance staff claimed they'd seen far worse. They weren't standing their sans everything with an interested crowd gathering!
There followed assorted punctures and the application of a multitude of sticky things. Several tests with trolley mounted kit followed at intervals. The doctor arrived and I was interrogated at length. He even dragged a mobile ultrasound unit in. So we could compare me with a perfect specimen. He was incredibly patient, very thorough and spoke fluent English. While I acted as Google Translate as needed. Making wild guesses as to the English version of Latin sounding medical terms.
15.00 Eventually they decided they'd had enough of me. I had rested at intervals reclining on the bed. Adorned in a giant pair of white toweling, hospital pants. I alternated my repose with sitting upright on the edge of the bed. As the pain in my chest and back came and went apparently at random. There's no loyalty. Not even from your own bod.
I was given a prescription for penicillin for the cough. The present antibiotics clearly weren't getting the job done. They arranged a shared taxi free of charge and I was let go. Leaving with my profuse thanks to the nurses and doctors for all their kind efforts. I arrived home after 16.00. After a 40 minute ride in a mini-bus.
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