10 Jun 2026

10.06.2026 Arse over tit backwards!

 ~?~

  Wednesday 10th 55F/13C [7.30]  Bright, breezy and sunny but a risk of showers.

 Up at 6.30 after an awful night. Endless coughing. Last day of the antibiotics.

 8-something. I had decided I was ready for my first walk since leaving hospital. So I trundled rather steadily around the loop on the back field. Where the distant neighbour's drives run in parallel. I had reached the midpoint and was tootling across the edge of their parking gravel. When the world suddenly started spinning wildly! The ground no longer existed. I staggered backwards for a few meters before collapsing onto the wet grass. 

 A nice neighbour dashed across to see how I was doing. It must have been quite spectacular as well as slightly worrying. She rang for the ambulance and explained the situation. I passed on my symptoms and related to my history of heart problems, coughing for a fortnight, lack of sleep etc.

The heart problems became the trigger for diagnosing a potential stroke. I was still kneeling with my eyes covered with my hand to exclude all light. As I began to decorate the grass with my porridge flakes. Repeatedly. Ad nauseam. The ambulance quickly arrived and there was a multi-way discussion. Feedback to the hospital as they spoke to my neighbour, to me, to a cardiologist and then to a neurologist. Probably not a stroke nor even heart related then. Possibly an erratic boulder in my inner ear. 

 The ambulance would take me to the more distant hospital without flashing blue lights any other unnecessary disturbance. The nearest hospital would have been the obvious choice for heart analysis and emergency treatment. The two ambulance staff had to physically lift and carry me over to the trolley/bed on the drive. Thus began one of the worse experiences of my life! There followed the half hour journey while suffering from vertigo on steroids. Every corner, slowing or acceleration made me throw up into a bag. Several bags in fact. 

 Then the heart pain started. The same symptoms as my previous heart attack. Now they were talking about ordering the helicopter. I suggested we try the nitro first. A trip in a helicopter while suffering from acute vertigo would require a complete repaint! The nitro had no effect for the first time ever. Usually it takes a couple of seconds for immediate relief. 

 Multiple ECGs [?] and other, on board monitoring suggested no changes to my dodgy heart. We'd continue onto the distant medical hospital. An accident of long and thin, county council boundaries. 

 By then the vertigo was beginning to lose its grip. I began to experiment by opening first one eye. Then the other. Inside of the ambulance. At first it began to spin. Eventually I could open one and then both eyes continuously. Just as we pulled up the hospital doors! Now I was as normal as I would ever be.   

 I was obviously a complete fraud. A bad case of false symptom advertising. No real symptoms. Just a few used bags of vomit to my name. They cheerfully wheeled me into an acceptance room. Where I hesitantly achieved what passes for my version of upright. The staff stood around me. Ready to catch me if I wobbled. 

 Then the poor, but pretty, duty nurse wiped me down with multiple wet wipes. The ambulance staff claimed they'd seen far worse. They weren't standing their sans everything with an interested crowd gathering!

 There followed assorted punctures and the application of a multitude of sticky things. Several tests with trolley mounted kit followed at intervals. The doctor arrived and I was interrogated at length. He even dragged a mobile ultrasound unit in. So we could compare me with a perfect specimen. He was incredibly patient, very thorough and spoke fluent English. While I acted as Google Translate as needed. Making wild guesses as to the English version of Latin sounding medical terms. 

 15.00 Eventually they decided they'd had enough of me. I had rested at intervals reclining on the bed. Adorned in a giant pair of white toweling, hospital pants. I alternated my repose with sitting upright on the edge of the bed. As the pain in my chest and back came and went apparently at random. There's no loyalty. Not even from your own bod.

 I was given a prescription for penicillin for the cough. The present antibiotics clearly weren't getting the job done. They arranged a shared taxi free of charge and I was let go. Leaving with my profuse thanks to the nurses and doctors for all their kind efforts. I arrived home after 16.00. After a 40 minute ride in a mini-bus.

  


  ~?~

9 Jun 2026

9.06.2026 Robot goes off road.

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  Tuesday 9th 55F/13C [7.00]  Overcast and breezy. Early rain clearing to showers. 68F/20C in the room. 59F/15C in the greenhouse. 

 Up at 6am after a fairly quiet night. One coughing fit.

 My English friend is coming over after a lapse due to health problems.   

 9.30 It brightened briefly and then darkened and tipped down. I am researching outdoor WiFi options for the robot mower. Which are complicated by the odd coverage pattern required. My visitor is an expert on such matters but I wanted to understand the basics.

 It would be foolish to spend slots of money just to please the mower. Though outdoor waterproof, it doesn't like the rain. Which would cause the grass clippings to stick to its undersides. It has a rain sensor on the control panel. Which sends the mower home on detection of wetness. So today it is having a rest in its charging station. 

 My visitor arrived and we put the world to right over Danish pastries and tea.

 6.30 After he had left I went back to the mower and learning new tricks. I made a pathway from the charging station to the West Lawn. My first stint at steering the mower across the parking area with the on-screen joystick. Then I discovered that adhesion was too low for the thick, uncut grass. 

 It tried manfully to rock itself free but I had to intervene several times. I shall have to mow the grass properly and not rely entirely on the strimmer. A lesson learned but I was curious to see how well it would cope. I had better make some dinner. 

 Mackerel in tomato sauce on toast.

 

  ~?~

8 Jun 2026

8.06.2026 Robots 'Я' Us.

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  Monday 8th 59F/15C Overcast but mostly dry. Breezy from a southerly direction. Rain tonight. 68F/20C in the room. 61F/16C in the greenhouse.

 Up at 6.30 after a more disturbed night of coughing. The siren call of the fire bucket loomed.

 I ought to continue work on the West Lawn. I have strimmed it but it needs mowing and the molehills raked out. The Makita mower can't cope with the molehills and just stalls every time.

 It's exhausting even when I am not coughing and feeling unwell. Now I think I have gone deaf in my right ear. The hearing aid start-up jingle is subdued.

 09.20 My Eufy E-18 robot mower was delivered. Four days later than the big box shifters promised on the order form. I am hoping this mower will save me a lot of effort. In keeping the drive and West Lawn under control. I no longer feel able to invest so much energy in this task. 

 I have watched many of the dozens of YouTube reviews. Coming to the conclusion that this model offers the best value and features for my special needs. No perimeter cables are required. No intermittent and unreliable RTK antenna. It uses AI stereo vision and FSD to steer and control the mower. 

 The only worry is having a strong enough Wifi signal at the far reaches of the drive or on the West Lawn. There is no problem getting a strong signal at the charging station/garage. 150Mbs compared to a healthy 500Mbps indoors. So software updates and mapping should be fine. It is when the mower is over 80+ meters from the house. The mower will work on a 4K mobile service but will lack certain features. The onboard, live camera view will not be available. 

 45 minutes later! I can't register as a new user of Eufy. It keeps saying the code has expired! Even after it was entered mere seconds after it was sent. Time and time again! What is the point in claiming mowing within ten minutes from initial set up if I can't register?

 I have uninstalled and reloaded the App. No difference. A total, amateur farce! Now reached the maximum number of logins! Now it wants me to download Eufy Clean App. AGAIN! I did several times and but it only recognizes vacuum cleaners. Another half hour wasted!

 The mower is recognized and installed on the Wi-Fi network but has no internet? Presumably it is waiting for registration before it can work through the Eufy App. I can't use the QR code to register or log on. It demands I download Eufy Clean again! And again! There is no PC registration. Only by mobile phone within the App! 

 It is just sitting there in its smart little garage and charging. 

 12.50 Now Eufy has sent welcome emails!!!  

 All is now well. The mower reset itself to button presses and started mapping the drive. This could take some time! I have blocked the far end of the drive with some handy timber and a recycling bin. So no unexpected visitors run over the poor thing. I shall set limits at that end but will still need barriers to traffic during mowing sessions.  

 The Wi-Fi signal becomes progressively weaker away from the house. It has warned that map updating is suspended. The robot is halfway to the end now. Luckily I can monitor it through the window and on the security camera. 

It is mowing! I can follow its position on the map on the phone. I gave it no instructions on the direction of mowing stripes. Default is horizontal judging by it back and forth behaviour. So I set it to north-south instead. 

 I spent the afternoon remotely mowing. After which it went back to it docking station. It is already fully charged. The grass in the drive is already looking better. 

 Dinner was a chicken and egg fry-up  on toast. 

  ~?~