31.08.2022 Fugly omelette!

 ~~

Wednesday 31st 50F. Bright and almost clear. With a little high cloud overhead. Which has been beautifully brushed. Overnight temperatures have plummeted. I am closing the greenhouse and all the internal doors now. A very pleasant and dry, ~20C during the daytime.

 Up at 5.30 after a late night. It's another voluntary farm museum day again. 😊

Following a nice, long chat on the phone with the "master chef" I start my [men only] cooking classes tomorrow. There is the option of one or two classes. One on Tuesdays, which I have sadly missed this week, is more basic. The Thursday class includes more "exotic" recipes. Small groups gather at a village school between 10 and two pm. 

 Not too far away by car. I shall be driving there a little earlier tomorrow. To have the introductory tour. Charges for the classes are very modest indeed. I look forwards to learning "cooking from scratch." With the added bonus of further socialisation. Within easily manageable numbers of bods. Remembering names, particularly Danish names, is always a struggle. When you have the memory capacity of a goldfish. 

14.00 65F/13C, overcast and breezy. I spent an hour or two weeding the cobbles at the museum. Then moved onto clearing one of the internal, tool sheds within the long barn. A worm eaten partition, milk churns, buckets, tools, furniture and old shelving were each found new homes. Drove home, shopping on the way and have just finished lunch. 

I bought a packet of grass seed to speed the sward on the expanded parking space. The area under the ex-horse chestnut's shadow is not grassing well. It is mostly weeds. I'll spread some grass seed down there as well. Still no rain promised.

 An afternoon mostly spent in the observatory. I closed the greenhouse doors as I came back in to reduce heat loss.

 21.00 56F. Dinner was an omelette with brown mushrooms. Pasta with chopped tomatoes. I am keeping the pasta in the freezer compartment. When I take it out I can break it into short pieces in my fingers. Instead of attacking the rubbery stuff with scissors. It is so much easier.

~~

30.08.2022 All the unanswered questions.

 ~~

 Tuesday 30th 55F/13C. Bright but cloudy. A sunny day is promised. Up at 7.15am after a late night. Now wearing a jumper for the first time in months indoors. I closed the greenhouse and all internal doors at bedtime. The internal doors had been open since April. 70F/21C indoors this morning. 

 I walked the "wrong way" to reach the forest by the steep track. Then descended by the direct route on stubbled fields. I saw a distant hare. The verge slashers had been out. The verges have been untamed and luxuriant all summer. I hope the wildlife appreciated our efforts on their behalf. It remained quite cloudy at first but the sun broke through. I was gone for exactly an hour. 

___________________________________

 The loss of a lifelong partner is not only the absence of their constant companionship. Their own, encyclopaedic knowledge was a vital asset to a well balanced, daily life. The questions they leave behind will never, can never be answered. Many of which never arose until they were gone. Once discovered it becomes impossible to ignore them. They nag away during all the waking hours and in the twilight of yet another sleepless night. 

 There is no scalpel to excise a searing memory. Now that so many bubble constantly to the surface. That only a full brain format would eradicate the pain. The crushing sense of profound loss.  Of everything they themselves represented. It was they, you now discover. Not yourself. Which defined your whole, past life. 

 No wishful thinking will ever allow your heartfelt thanks. Nor your empty professions of undying love. To reach their soft ears now. You missed your only chance, again and again. To lift them from the monotony of having to put up with you. To care for your every need. Like some overgrown, helpless and dependent baby.

 Do not lightly dismiss their warm words. Nor their lightest touch of affection in real life. It is these which which can never be returned. With the compound interest they so deserve. Not when it is now, far too late. To bank them as an investment in your shared futures. 

 Tell them you love them. Every single day. Hug them gently and too often. Rather than too little. Thank them for every unquestioned favour. No matter how seemingly trivial. Else forget the bonds your kind words and affectionate touch might have wrought. For the rest of your miserable, lonely existence.

 Build no shrine to their undying memory. Not unless you built a shared belief in your infinite love for each other. When it really, really mattered. No glittering Taj Mahal will undo the terrible wrongs you inflicted on your partner through your morbid silence. For the lack of a lack of a kind word when they were down. 

 Your chance to express your gratitude has long passed. Slipped through your clumsy fingers. Like the sand of the desert you thoughtlessly built between your shared, but ever widening paths. Hang onto their every word for the subtle clues. To constantly and immeasurably improve their and your own life. Or rot in the hell of your burning conscience. When you discover you have failed your only real task in this life. To make another person happier. Than your foolishly selfish and acquisitive self.

__________________________________

 13.00 67F/19C. Sunny periods. I split the morning between the observatory and clearing the bank. Which now lies between the flattened parking area and the flower bed. This is where the enormous, dolobrata hedge once grew. 

 I am delivering a whole trailer full of the cleared material. So I may as well bring back some free compost from the recycling yard. Just to smooth out the very uneven bank. Assuming the compost is as light and fluffy as it looks. I shall take an aluminium snow shovel to speed the loading of the trailer.

 15.45 69F/21C, bright sunshine. I have just spread the third trailer full of compost onto the gravel. The compost is only about 2" thick but fairly even. 

 It wasn't as light as I hoped. It took the steel shovel to break up the compacted heap at the recycling yard. Then I loaded the loosened stuff  into the trailer using the aluminium shovel. I can feel the effort required in my shoulders now. I think that is enough shovelling for today. Time for a nap.

~~

29.08.2022 Appeal to find our son Tim.

~~

 Monday 29th 60F. Misty, grey and windy overcast. Some windy sunshine promised for this afternoon. They still owe us yesterday's promised sunshine.

 Up at 5.30 after a 3am bedtime. It was warm upstairs 74F/23C and I couldn't sleep. Not with all the worries about the bereavement and paperwork going around in my head. So I got up at 1.00am and sat on the computer watching YT videos for a couple of hours. 

 This is a very long shot: But if anyone knows the whereabouts of our son Tim [Timothy J. Bolwell] then I would be grateful for any news. We haven't been in touch for far too many years. Tim was last heard of in Bath, England, over twenty six years ago. Just before we moved to Denmark.

I have checked the phone book for Bath online but he does not appear there. Nor does Tim appear on the UK electoral roll. A slightly younger person, a jazz musician of the same name, crops up online. By coincidence, Tim was a very talented artist and guitar player in his youth. I have no idea if he continued to use these gifts. Facebook lists several members called Tim Bolwell. None of those who share personal information is "our" Tim. One private member shows only a red blob.

 Tim would be legally entitled to inherit from his mother's [very] modest estate. Being born in 1967, Tim would be 55-years-old now. If you know anything about Tim, or if he is reading this, then please leave a comment below. Or, I can be reached via email at christryke at gmail.com. 

 There is no pressure. We always hoped Tim would get back in touch before one, or both of us died. It is the not knowing whether Tim is alive or dead himself which makes me even sadder. Thanks. 

 8.00 60F/15C, time for a walk. 

9.10 Just a half hour, brisk walk to the lanes.  Windy from the N-NE. Lots of traffic. 

 I am going to drive into town to go to the bank. Lots of branches have closed. Then onto another village to shop. Where I saw a girl walking. Whom could have passed as Shirley when she was young. I have never seen anyone remotely like that before.

 I bought a screw in, steel, ground spike for the rotary clothes airer. The airer kept flopping over with only the supplied plastic pipe in the lawn.  Even though I was balancing the washing carefully. It would not stand up in any wind.

12.40  65F and windy. The sun has come out. Time to make lunch.

After lunch I escaped to the observatory.

Then went back indoors and tried to have a nap. I couldn't sleep for circular thoughts. Got up again and went local shopping in the car. It was too windy for the trike. Chatted with an ex-colleague outside the supermarket.

 Back out to the observatory again but there was too much multi-layered cloud.

18.30 63F outdoors. 74F indoors. Back indoors and feeling cold. It was too draughty out there in the dome. 

 Dinner was salad. Still struggling with quantities. One heart lettuce is far too much for one person. I put the boiled potatoes on a separate plate. Transferring them over when I had made room on the main plate.

~~

28.08.2022 Expanding shrubbery?

 ~~

Sunday 28th 54F/12C. Overcast moving fast from the north and thinning. A sunny morning is promised. With possible thunderstorms after lunch. Cloudbursts have been causing problems in Denmark. With a section of railway line left hanging in mid air across a gap. Where the ground was completely washed away. 

 Up at 5.15 after sleeping upstairs. Too warm at 75F/24C last night. 73F/23C thus morning. No ill effects after yesterday's hours of shovelling and barrowing gravel.

 Removing the vast hedge has exposed some bushes and trees which were always completely hidden. There is a black leafed elderberry and a large Cotoneaster salicifolia which can now become decorative. A tree peony at the back of the flower bed is looking amazingly well. 

 The hawthorn, just in front of them, can be trimmed into a ball on a stick. To let the others shine in their own light. I might even take the hawthorn out. As it is looking very scruffy. From being pressed and heavily shaded by that damned great hedge!

 7.00 60F/15C. An hour's walk up to the top of the hill above the lanes. Distant mist blocked any hope of long range views. It was after 7.30 before I first saw my shadow on the road. After a few sunny periods it became overcast again. Very little traffic but I saw a Red kite and a hare. A dragonfly was resting on the edge of the road. After taking its portrait I did not disturb it. 

 I had a long chat on the phone with a family member. Followed by a short shopping ride on the trike.

 There was a cloudburst after six but it was only short lived. I was doing the washing up and had to dash off to close the upstairs windows.

 Rather than spreading chippings on top of the new gravel. I thought I might lay a bed of free compost and grass it. It will grow grass whatever I do. I am not about to spray it off.

  I am going with a simple dinner. Mackerel on toast with tomato soup and a bread roll.

~~

27.08.2022 Sixteen tons..

 ~~

Saturday 27th 62F/17C. Overcast and very, very dark. Up at 4.45 after sleeping downstairs. I was too hot hiding under a single sheet [at 74F] and was being attacked by gnats. The nasty things are still at it upstairs this morning! They are too small to be visible and can't be felt until it is too late.

 No sign of any thunderstorms and now they are off to the east. There was some flooding from cloudbursts over Jylland.

8.15.  I started at 6am and came back in for morning coffee at 8am. I have shovelled and barrowed about half the pile of gravel to the former site of the giant hedge. I am sweating profusely despite it being only 62F outside. 

 It feels like an oven indoors at only 72F! Now I am going back out again. The more gravel I move, the easier it will be for the car to turn around the pile. I ought to check the levels too. 

 10.00 65F.  I used some old concrete posts to contain the far side of the gravel. The level falls gently all the way to the flower bed. I have also made up the dip in the middle of the parking space. Then evened out the slope. 

 Some washed gravel will be needed to make a clean, uniform and hard wearing surface. I doubt there is a quarter of the original pile of gravel left now. Amazing what one [old] man can do with a shovel, a rake and a wheelbarrow in four hours. I used the car as a steamroller. Just running back and forth to help to compact the gravel.

15.30 73F/23C. Bright sunshine. I've just had a visit from my rediscovered friend and his wife. It was great just to be able to sit and chat. I have never thought about it before but my wife and I were incredibly isolated. My only contact was with checkout staff at the supermarkets and online. 

 My wife had no human contact, at all, for years. Not even from the weird neighbours. Whom, by coincidence, moved away just as my wife died. As did the neighbours from hell for other reasons.

 My new friend's Danish wife was kind enough to help me translate the bereavement court's questionnaire. Even with the help of Google translate I couldn't understand some of the terms. 

 I had found time to mow the grass and do some tidying in preparation for my visitors. I can now park the car and trailer out of the way. Instead of them dominating the former parking area. Still lots of tidying to do out there.

 Dinner was salad. With lettuce, tuna, boiled eggs, carrots, tomatoes, cucumber and mature Cheddar. One heart lettuce is enough for two people. I don't have salad often enough for that to mean anything useful. 

 The tomatoes have gone soft only a couple of days after purchase. The last lot lasted well despite higher indoor temperatures. More waste! At least the bread is safe in the freezer. I can get a couple of slices out for toast without the dreaded green mould. Which had been harassing me for months. Lots of half loaves going into the bin!

~~

26.08.2022 Gravel.

~~

 

Friday 26th 65F. Overcast, with a light SE breeze. 28C hot today with a risk of thunderstorms.

 Guess who was up at 5.30 and dashing along the 100m long drive, in the dark, with a very full recycling bin? The dustbin lorry was hovering at the end of the drive as I arrived. Fortunately they took pity on me and emptied the bin. 

 

 With a three week emptying cycle the green bin is soon full. I had completely forgotten to take it along to the collection point last night.

  I had to get up and go downstairs last night. It was 78F/26C upstairs and I was dripping with sweat under a single sheet. At "only" 74F/23C downstairs it was far more comfortable. The difficulty is trying to get up from the "wrong side of the bed" in the dark. It doesn't feel right with my head the other end of the foam mattress.

 

 After my morning walk I am going to return to filling the trailer with more, dolobrata, hedge branches.  I will try to manage the rest in only two more loads instead of three. I have shopping to do in the same village. 

 9.15 69F/21C A warm walk to the lanes. Now enjoying morning coffee after loading the trailer. There was no problem getting all the smaller stuff on the trailer. The last load will barely cover the floor of the trailer. 

 

"Somebody" didn't do the washing up last night! Don't you hate it when that happens?

12.30 74F/23C.  I have delivered a trailer full of "thatch" which had collected under the hedge. Fallen needles and twigs.

15.00 80F/27C.  I had three cubic meters of self-compacting gravel delivered. To make up the steep drop in the parking space where the dolobrata hedge used to be. There is also a hollow saddle in the middle of the parking area. Where rain has washed down off the 200m long drive for many decades. 

 

 I fitted a cheap, channel drain across the drive outside the gates but it was short lived. I ought to fit a better quality one. The barrow is posed at midway on the pile for scale.

 

18.30  72F/22C. A long, narrow chain of thunderstorms is heading north just to the west of us. No rain and only a few distant rumbles so far. I still have the windows open in the hope of some natural cooling. There is hardly any wind. So it is still 78F/26C upstairs.  The radar suggest we should be just under the edge of the storm chain by 8pm.

22.30 67F/19C  Dinner was fried chicken pieces, fried halved tomatoes, boiled potatoes and pasta. No thunderstorms or cloudbursts so far.

~~

25.08.2022 And... there it was, gone!

 ~~

 Thursday 25th 63F, misty. breezy and suddenly overcast. Fast moving cloud coming from the east. This is supposed to be the last, stable summer's day. Up at 7.15 after another reasonable night. Or because I was tired? I deliberately went to bed after midnight. 

 I am trying to break the 6n month's long habit of rising too early. My back feels slightly achy. Hardly surprising after yesterday's fun at the farm museum. I'm seventy five you know! 👴

 I have to change the chain on the chainsaw. The present one is worn out. There are still five tree trunks left to saw. To finish off the huge, dolobrata hedge. They are about 15cm or 6" in diameter at the base. Then I have to saw up all the branches and load them onto the trailer. Ready for the recycling yard. I am keeping the trunks as potential, emergency fuel.

 The Danish news is finally mentioning the lack of compressed wood fuel. Until now, all the news has been about subsidising the gas central heating users. Many of whom seemed to have re-ignited their wood stoves. To reduce their heating bills. Which promptly led to a doubling of prices due to a shortage. So the gas central heating users are being taxpayer subsidised. To cause a fuel shortage and rocketing prices for briquettes and pellets. For those of us whom have no other choice of fuel.

 I have a ride planned for this afternoon. Catching up on my re-found friend. I shall be riding into the wind on the way. So the return journey should be easier. About 35 miles in total. Temperatures will be around 24C. Which shouldn't be too bad.

 9.00 Morning coffee. Just returned from a walk around the harvested fields. I forgot to mention that my head scan did not turn up anything unusual. There was no mention of a functioning brain in the report. Another neighbour's house is up for sale. No doubt there will be lost soul's coming down our drive.

 10.10 71F/22C. Sweating profusely! After swapping the chain I felled the last of the dolobrata hedge. Five trunks in all. I used the car and a rope to pull the last one onto the huge pile of branches. I didn't want it falling on my wife's flower bed! Which is now fully exposed for the first time in two decades. It will probably wither in the sunshine! 

 Lots of tidying up to do now. At least four trailers full going on past experience. I am having a rest for a moment. There is lots of old firewood. Which has been completely hidden under the hedge for years. It might be handy as kindling.

 About 11.30 I was half way though loading the trailer with branches. I became so hot I went all wobbly. I went back indoors to run cold water on my wrists. Then splashed my face and neck with cold water and sat in the shade. So the breeze could cool me further by evaporation. I soon recovered and delivered the trailer full of branches to the recycling yard. The pile, on the ground back at home, looks much smaller.

13.00 Lunch is finished. 79F/26C outside. 81F indoors despite the windows being open. I will start to get ready for my ride.

  32 miles in all. I averaged 12mph. Yet again I was aware of low level pain in my right leg. Not enough to be a nuisance but leaving me wondering if it will get worse.

Dinner was cheese on toast with halved tomatoes. Followed by tomato soup and a bread roll.

 

~~

24.08.2022 A pitchfork a day...

 ~~

 Wednesday 24th 63F, sunny, bright and breezy. Up at 6.45 after a reasonable night's sleep.  No walk today. My back hurts. Probably from handling all those branches and chainsawing the huge hedge. Wednesday is farm museum day. What will today bring? 

13.30 78F/26C. Hot sunshine. I have just finished lunch after shopping on the way home.

 I need not have worried about not having my exercise walk today. First I unloaded the old wagon containing last year's hay onto pallets spread on the ground. I used an antique, two pronged pitchfork.

 Then I worked over the field to arrange the harvested bales into spaced rows. Now the tractor could tow the empty wagon back and forth across the field. So I could reload the wagon with this year's bales. It was a bit warm for working hard in the hot sunshine. 😅

 84F/29C in the observatory this afternoon. I came back in at 5pm to have a cup of tea and cool off. 76F/24C outside. 82F/28C upstairs. It will cool outside only very slowly this evening. There's no escape from the heat!

 21.00 68F windows wide open. Dinner was chicken curry. 35 minutes + 5 minutes rest and the rice was perfect. As was the chicken and the Ben's medium curry sauce. 

It was still a sweaty 76F/24.5C indoors at bedtime. I went to bed after midnight.

~~

23.08.2022 Lumberjack hedging.

 ~~

 Tuesday 23rd 60F, bright, almost clear and occasionally breezy but with cloud blocking the rising sun. Up at 5am after a restless night.

6.40 Going for an early walk. 

8.20 65F. I cut across a harvested field to gain the track to the forest. Returning via a forest clearing did not go well. Waist high brambles! I trod them down as I progressed. Until I could reach the edge of the field again. 

 Back via the marsh pond. Where a few ducks flew off, noisily treading water. I saw my first Tesla taxi today. It is sunny and breezy now. I was gone for 65 minutes in all. 

 10.30 Spent some time in the observatory. Then it suddenly became overcast and so dark it looked like it might rain!

 12.45 74F/23C. Back to bright sunshine. I have been attacking the gigantic, Thujopsis dolobrata, conifer hedge. It is as tall as the house and at least 5m thick at the base. My wife planted it 25 years ago and it never stopped growing.

 It was often all but impossible to get between it and the house! It divided the back garden literally in half. Two cars could easily be parked in its footprint. The hedge's removal will open up the remaining garden. Allowing a completely new view of my wife's, hidden flower bed.

 I need room for the trailer and an outdoor, work space. The trailer is now mounded up 6' high with branches. As soon as I have finished lunch I shall tie it down tightly. Then deliver it all to the recycling yard.

It is difficult to judge the sheer size of the hedge from a photograph. I have reduced its length by a half so far. The plank is 5.1m tall. So the hedge is probably 5.5m high. [18']

14.45 Back indoors to cool off. I am dripping with sweat! 77F/25C outside. 78F indoors. Only one third of the hedge left. I have found all sorts hidden under there. Including the old well and cast iron, hand pump! 

 An afternoon relaxing and resting in the observatory as I captured close up images of the sun.

 Dinner was mackerel on toast with tomato soup and a roll to follow. Yet again I forgot to take a photograph. Was I even there?

 

~~

22.08.2022 Run pheasants run!

 ~~

 Monday 22nd 54F [at 7.20] Bright, but with lots of cloud. Up before 6am. I still need shopping but at a more distant village. Only a trike ride away. '

 8.40 63F. I was heading for the lanes, as usual. When I decided to loop around a harvested field instead. The stubble was hardly a hindrance as I snapped away with my camera. Trying to capture the hay rows waiting to be bailed.  

 A troop of pheasants was crossing between copses out on the harvested field. Despite my distance they made a dash for it.

 It is warmer and much brighter now. As I finish my morning coffee and bread roll.

A morning in the observatory capturing the sun.

 13.15 76F/24C, just returning from a 14 mile ride to the shops. 

 Dinner was salad. I am giving up on poached eggs. They explode whatever state the water is boiling. I forgot to buy carrots.

~~

21.08.2022 Little duckies!

 ~~

 Sunday 21st 60F, clear, bright and breezy start to a promising, sunny morning. Wind from the SW. Slept upstairs. Rose at 6.45. Temperatures are falling steadily. A much more comfortable 73F/23C upstairs this morning. 70F downstairs. The greenhouse doors remain open 24 x 7 tom shed the daytime heat. 

 20 Sundays since my wife died. I still struggle to believe it is permanent. Memories of her are still as sharp as thorns.

 I definitely have to shop today. First, I walked the opposite way to my usual direction. Away from the all too familiar lanes. Where I snapped away at the harvested fields. There are already leaves from the next crop sprouting all over the bare soil. 

 I was treated to half a dozen baby ducks playing on a large, garden pond. They would suddenly dash about before settling down again. To feed, or to rise with their wings outspread. Unfortunately there was a dark shadow of a tree across the pond. Which made most of my pictures rather pointless. I was using the full zoom too. Which threw the foreground out of focus despite using F8 aperture priority.

 9.20. 67F/19C. Morning coffee over. I am going back out to the observatory while the sun still shines.

 17.30. 70F/21C. Just returned from shopping in the car. The large and heavy bag full would have needed two trike rides or more.

 20.30 63F outside. 77F indoors. Dinner was a salmon pasty with frozen peas and halved tomatoes. The camera flash has captured some steam.

 

 

~~

20.08.2022 Harvest is over.

 ~~

 Saturday 20th 62F/17C. Calm, overcast with occasional brightness. Up at 6.30 after a very restless night upstairs being chewed by gnats. 

 7.45. Time for a walk. 75F/24C indoors.

 8.50 66F. A walk to the lanes in very mild conditions. Then a shortcut, back across the harvested prairie. To reach the top of the tiny hill. I could then take some snaps of the area from a slightly raised viewpoint. Including of the prairie itself.

 No real plans for today. It is increasingly sunny despite the forecast for a mostly cloudy day. I could use the newly restored pickaxe to break up the crumbling "patio." Then  I'd need some self compacting gravel. To make it level and safe to cross. Ideally using a plate vibrator to flatten and stabilise it. Followed by washed gravel for a firm walking surface. Paving slabs would just attract ants. They own the place.

 An afternoon in the observatory capturing pictures of the sun.

 Dinner was oven baked fish fingers with baked beans, tinned tomatoes and a roll. I forgot to photograph it.

~~

19.08.2022 Far too many options!

 ~~

 Friday 19th 63F [7.30] Overcast. Possible thundery showers. Up at 6am after being eaten alive by gnats overnight, sleeping [fitfully] downstairs. [76F.]  The current heatwave is said to be over but it will chill only slowly. My laundry did not dry overnight on the rotary airer.

 More Danes are likely to become homeless. Due to a lack of help from the government [taxpayer] to combat massive price inflation/profiteering. Meanwhile "they" are pouring billions into supplying Ukraine with weapons. 

 I can see the argument. That it is cheaper to slow Pootin the Truly Awful now. Rather than pay the price [later] of global tyranny at the behest of a deranged "nutter." Aided and abetted by that other "nutter" Sly The Merciless. Whom presently supplies our cheap toys. In exchange for our never mentioning his global slave trade. Meanwhile candidates for the gravy train are promising to give away taxpayer's money to the rich.

__________________________________

 I am torn between riding to the annual market [16km+16km or 10+10 miles] to try and find a new pickaxe handle. Or waiting at home, all day, for a small package to be delivered. The contents being the size of an egg cup and worth only a few pounds/kroner. But whose packaging will almost certainly have expanded. To exceed that of a carefully wrapped and priceless football. 

 If I drive to the market. Then I will join the 60,000 others visiting the same market. Which means queuing for a parking space on a distant field and then walking to the site. Or, I could wait for the parcel to be delivered and then go. Or, I could go tomorrow. Eeny, meeny, miny moe.

 8.45 64F/13C. Still overcast. Morning coffee. No walk so far. I have put out a large, clear tub with lid for the package. Which means I will have to constantly monitor the post box. Instead of getting a knock on the door. I have put my large, printed notice in the bottom of the tub. Saying that I am at home.

 If I cycle to the market will my trike be safe from thieves? If I drive, will my car be safe without any functioning door locks? What if the promised thunderstorms erupt upon my defenceless, pedalling bod? OMG! Too many options. Too many hurdles. Too many potentially, life-changing decisions! 😳 Stop laughing at the back! 😄

The parcel arrived at 12.00. So I am free to go to the market. Not yet free to make a decision over my mode of transport.

 Well that was unexpected: The carpenter I asked to price the bedroom window installation has turned up out of the blue. His company was installing new windows nearby. So he looked in and found me at home. I was given a price which I could not ignore. Just for the installation of the window. Sealed within a raised timber frame. I would be responsible for insulation and cladding the gable end inside and out. 

 We discussed the blown, double glazing units around the house. These would only be affordable if I fitted them myself. It seems they have doubled in price because of the Pootin energy crisis. 

17.00 70F/21C. Overcast again. I went to the market by car to save wasting a couple of hours travelling time. Luckily they had a tool stall with several pick-axe handles in the correct size. By the time I paid for petrol, 45 kroner for parking and 275kr for the handle I was out of pocket to the sum of £40! At least I can finally break up the old concrete slab pretending to be a patio. 

 Dinner is salad. With lettuce, tuna, cucumber, boiled potatoes, poached eggs, mature Cheddar cheese and tomatoes.

~~

18.08.2022 Stack 'em up.

 ~~

Thursday 18th 63F/17C, misty, breezy and heavily overcast. Several bouts of heavy rain so far. Which the garden desperately needs. As do many others.

 Up at 4.50 after yet another, warm, restless night, sleeping downstairs. [76F/24C] I was woken by gnat bites several times and heard then whining near my ear. Which made me dive under the large bedsheet. Where my breath made it feel even warmer! Temperatures are supposed to begin to drop over the weekend. 

 Just my routine walk to the lanes. Lots of bales stacked up on the prairies. It stayed dry and humid. The wind turbines were turning briskly despite there being no obvious wind.

 It is announced that the Norwegian, walrus killing zombies are to raise a statue. To remind us all that zombies rule the earth. And, that Norwegians greatly prefer a statue to a living creature. They could have saved themselves the trouble of having a collection. If they had paid a security guard to euthenase any zombies which came too close to the living creature. 

 It is the first day of a large outdoor market a few miles away. They always had large stalls with wooden tool handles in the past. I am thinking of going over there. In the hope of find a new handle for my navvy's pick. 

 Trike or car? Rain or dry? The forecast is for the rain to be over by the time I am likely to head that way. The handle can be tied to the trike. If I can find a handle that fits. I can't make out from the website whether the market stalls are actually open today. It looks as if this is more of a setting up day. There is no mention of the market opening time today. Only from tomorrow. It might be better to go tomorrow. 

11.45 72F/22C. Brightening up. Just had a nice chat on the phone. Before that I went shopping and dumped off the old toilet at the same time. Though not literally. I forgot to buy some sunscreen. My arms are turning to mahogany from the cycling.

 The Danish government is compensating those with gas central heating. To the tune of 6000 kroner. [£680] All because of a dramatic price increase for gas. I have mentioned this before. 

 Those who heat with wood pellets or briquettes had a massive price increase too.  Simply because those with gas heating started to use their existing wood stoves to save money. Suddenly it was impossible to obtain these pre-packed, waste wood briquettes. When they were in stock they were double last year's price. 

 A day of laundry, dozing and browsing. Who would have believed I'd ever say it was good drying weather? It was too.

 With the bread restocked I could relax and make mackerel on toast with soup and a roll to follow.

~~

17.08.2022 Post Danmark Rundt.

 ~~

 Wednesday 17th 65F, earlier thick mist thinning but overcast. Farm museum day.

 What a night! I tried to sleep upstairs under a large sheet. It was so hot I was melting. This was despite the digital thermometers all showing the same temperature throughout the house. [76F/24C.]

 At 1.15 I'd had enough and went downstairs to make up the bed downstairs. The temperature felt much more comfortable but I was being bitten by gnats again. Eventually I fell asleep and woke just before 6am.

 07.30. I have been blogging for ages and being bitten at intervals.  It is 78F/26C upstairs. I had better go for a short walk before a quick shower. 

 A short walk, a shower and then off to the museum. After helping to dismantle the harvester two of us left to collect some donated furniture in the car with a trailer. The long, antique cupboard weighed a ton!

 On our return to the museum it was lunch time. The volunteers were sitting outside at the picnic tables. They decided it was late. So I should go home.

 Assens is the scene of the world's best kept secret. Post Danmark Rundt [Post Office Tour of Denmark] cycle race. Assens is holding the short time trial stage. By sheer luck I checked the Danish news just now. There was nothing, at all, about it earlier. Nothing on the stage maps.

 I am going for a ride to Assens see if I can get close enough on a rural section. I hope I can be home before the promised thunderstorms!

 I knew precisely where to aim for. Right in the middle of the short section on the main road. Where I stood  for 3/4 of an hour. Snapping away at the racing cyclists. As they buried themselves behind their time trial handlebars. 

 There was a good crowd. Many of whom had clappers and had even brought chairs. They were a noisy lot but full of enthusiasm. All willing the riders on. A media helicopter circled overhead several times. Some of the marshals waved to the crowd or showed off. Honking their klaxons or horns.

 6.45 74F/23C. It has been veiled cloud for most of the afternoon. The picture at the top is of the Blue Jersey. As race leader he left last in the time trial. The winner of the TT was Magnus Sheffield, a young American. Who takes over the blue Jersey. I have pictures of two riders in the Ineos strip but can't be sure whom he was. He may have ridden earlier than my arrival at the roadside. I have included a picture of whom I think might be him. 

 Edit: Magnus Sheffield's Start time at 14.35 was much earlier than my arrival at the roadside. My apologies to the rider above for any confusion. My image was timed at 16.47. Two hours later than his ride.

Here is a link to a YT video of the complete route.

https://youtu.be/-b9FIVHNswI

 The third picture is of the tricycle, feeding station. With its large, yellow, bum nose bag.. I had taken several little cartons of apple juice and bars of Corny, choccy, seeds and stuff. So I was nibbling on a bar or sucking on a straw at intervals. Helping to maintain my energy levels for the ride home. 

 I needed it too. After riding hard to get there. Big crowds in Assens down near the harbour afterwards. Where there were large screens set up to keep everybody informed of race progress. With high quality, live video of the race. There was another screen set up in the cobbled high street. 

I was tired on the hilly, return journey. So I munched an apple and a banana washed down with lots of water when I got home. 22 miles.

 Dinner was supposed to be a quick and easy mackerel on toast. Guess who forgot to replace the green and mouldy loaf of bread? I have been advised to freeze my loafs. 

 It will have to be fish. With beans and chopped tomatoes. Now there's a surprise. I did the belated washing up while I waited for the fish to cook in the mini oven.

 

~~

16.08.2022 Head scan.

 ~~

 Tuesday 16th 65F [at 4.40am] The heatwave has triggered thunderstorms with cloudbursts. Yet again they seem to be passing on either side of my location. Though a really big blob of nasty looking storms is moving slowly north from Germany.

 Up at 3.45 with a burning gnat bite on my hand. I was far too hot at 76F/24C even under a single sheet on the lounge floor. It is still a sweaty 80F upstairs. Where I am at the PC.

 I have a head scan appointment at a hospital some 35km/22 miles away. It will mean driving there in the rush hour. I think I shall follow my usual cycling route via minor roads and lanes. It is very pretty until I get to the outskirts of the major town.

 The doctor who supervised my hearing tests was concerned at the huge difference between my ear's sensitivity. I am all but deaf in the left ear. So must rely entirely on my right ear. Not ideal for location of sound sources. Though I can still hear the whine of gnats in my right ear. I am not sure what they are expecting to find from the scan. I don't have any other discernible symptoms. A hospital hearing aid test and fitting are still some months away.

  I have to get back home afterwards for another chat with the county council's old farts & bereavement councillor. It was she who got me involved with the museum. She has lots of contacts to smooth the way into my re-socialisation. I am still hoping for the promised cooking classes for men.

 The lounge floor is a mess again. Boxes of stuff to be donated to charity. Or dumped at the recycling yard.  It would be prudent to do some serious tidying while I am waiting to leave for the hospital. I have to clear away my temporary [heatwave] bed anyway. Though that takes only seconds thanks to the folding foam mattress. Three large squares, in fitted cloth bags are simply hinged between the squares. Once folded, it is in a manageable form and can be hidden away.

 At least she will have a real chair to sit on this time. A choice of three! 😄 Not to mention a coffee table for her laptop and briefcase.

  7.15. 66F/19C. I have cleared the lounge as well as I can. Then cleaned the kitchen. It is hot and stuffy indoors despite all the windows being open. I am sweating like a pig at 80F/27C. Time for a shower. 

 10.30 71F outside. 79F indoors.  Safely returned and enjoying morning coffee, As expected, it was enjoyable drive to the hospital through beautiful countryside. I was accustomed to the route from my frequent cycle rides there. Though it was overcast and a bit misty today. I had the rural lanes almost to myself. There were signs of torrential rain. The roads were wet. With countless drifts of gravel washed out of private drives and off the verge.

 The scan was very odd. The headphones hugely amplified the sound of the scanner. If I wasn't deaf beforehand, I am now! I just kept my eyes tightly closed and counted... one thousand,. two... Fortunately none of the scans was longer than three minutes. The scanner technician [?] spoke excellent English. He was an expert at providing a calm and friendly atmosphere. He had visited the UK on cycling holidays. So we chatted about where he had been and where it matched where I had lived. 

  The appointment for a chat with the councillor is confirmed. Now that I am safely back at home. I had plenty of time to make a real effort before the councillor arrived. So I cleared the floor of the lounge. Then vacuumed the carpets. Followed by mopping the bathroom and kitchen floors. I was half way though last night's washing up when she arrived. 

 We talked for over three quarters of an hour. I find it extremely valuable to be able to discuss anything, face to face, in a safe environment. Even in the medium of Danish. I was really out of practise. There is still the hope of cooking classes. We agreed to meet for a chat once a month.  Or, until I no longer need her personal support. The more I put myself about socially, the less dependent I will be on her alone.

Now I can't stay awake! 

 Dinner was experimental and using up stuff I had. Fried chicken pieces on a bed of cauliflower and pasta. With tinned chopped tomatoes. It was fine.

~~

15.08.2022 The Norwegian zombie problem.

 ~~

 Monday 15th 63F/12C. Misty, grey overcast and breezy from the SE.  Another hot day is forecast. With possible thunderstorms later. Up at 6.30 after a reasonable night sleeping downstairs. It was 76F/25C at bedtime. Still over 80F/27C upstairs. I found a larger bed sheet to hide from the gnats but wasn't bothered by them. I wonder what all the loud farm machinery noises were yesterday? Presumably baling. Or preparing for the next harvest. They don't leave it for long before they seed drill again.

 Isn't it odd how "somebody" can decide to put down a healthy walrus to protect it from "stress." But nobody considered putting down all the zombies. Which allegedly stressed the walrus. The walrus had the freedom to leave, but didn't. Suggesting a complete lack of stress. Perhaps even a happy walrus? The drooling zombies had a choice not to go near the walrus, but just drooled. It's what zombies do. Norway is now known worldwide as the land of drooling zombies. But no tame walruses.

  I left at eight for my walk. Into far heavier traffic than normal. The prairie had been baled and cleared. After completing my walk to the lanes I looped around a field waiting to be baled. Three quarters of an hour altogether. The mist has lifted. Even a little sunshine after nine. 

 I feel the need for a ride. There should be Heinz salad cream back in stock about eight miles away. 

13.30 85F/29.5C outside. 84F/29C indoors. t was mostly veiled sunshine for my hilly ride. I bought two small bottles of salad cream. Then found a nice scarf in a charity shop to protect my neck from the sun. Going well. 38km or 24 miles.

 I am going with chicken curry tonight. 35 minutes of rice simmering this time. 30 minutes was not enough. The rice was still hard. The rice was much better for the extra five minutes. Plus five minutes rest.

 Still 80F/27C upstairs at bedtime. Back downstairs again.

~~

14.08.2022 Nasty gnats!

 ~~

 Sunday 14th 68F/20C [at 07.30]  Bright but quite cloudy. 30C/86F promised again. 

 Up at 4.30 after an awful night. Sweaty, even downstairs, under a single sheet. 76F/25C. The whine of gnats as I hid under the sheet. Only to be repeatedly bitten on my hands and arms. It literally felt as if I had brushed my hands through stinging nettles! 

 I gained some relief by rinsing the bites under cold water and then dabbing repeatedly with witch hazel solution. By that time I was already up and stayed up. I will try sleeping inside a duvet cover as a cool sleeping bag.

 The veiled sun and gentle easterly breeze made it not so oppressive today. I trundled along the road waiting for my backache to subside. A couple of birds of prey moved away. Another roadside field had been harvested but not yet baled. The difference in scale between the hay row spacing was simply unbelievable. Those bales which already lay on the fields had not yet been collected.

 Several wild plants were showing heat or drought stress. Including the Japanese Knotweed.

8.45 75F/24C.  I really need to shop but would prefer to ride the trike. Which makes no sense. Because it has limited carrying capacity compared to the car. It would take at least two shopping trips by trike and it is already hot.

 I used the car and made one journey of it. 

The rest of the day was spent photographing the sun. It was hot but breezy. Later, with lots of cloud.

 
 21.30 70F/21C  Dinner was a salmon pasty in spinach sauce, chopped tomatoes and beans.

~~

13.08.2022 Prairie harvest.

 ~~

 Saturday 13th 61F/16C. Bright and clear with a southerly breeze moving the trees. The forecast is for a couple of days reaching 30C/86F.

 Up at 5.30 after a sweaty night upstairs. I could hear the gnats whining past my ear and was bitten on both hands. The dormer windows were wide open all afternoon and evening. 

 The upstairs temperatures rose well above those outside. Until I had opened the windows. Then they matched inside and out. 76F/24C at bedtime, Unchanged this morning. 

 It was silly not to sleep downstairs. The new/old armchairs would not have to be moved. There was room on the lounge floor for the foam mattress. 

 I started my walk at 7.00. Down to the village. Before crossing the prairie to the forest. Via the main track. The giant field had been harvested but not yet baled. The hay rows providing a fascinating geometrical overlay. Aided and abetted by the contours and the shadows from the still low sun. 

 Ironically, the shadow cast by the forest grew larger, deeper and darker. As the sun moved further behind the wooded hill. So my later images were rather spoilt by the huge patch of deep shade right in the middle of the scene. 116 images so far today.

 13.40. 85F/29.5C. Late lunch is over as the temperatures are probably peaking. Both dormer windows are wide open. The cooling, through draught only occasional but beneficial. Enough to hold upstairs temperatures 2 degrees lower than outside. I shall now retreat downstairs again. Where it is only a pleasant 76F/24C.

 17.00 84F/29C inside and out. I have been practising my domesticity. Tidying and cleaning the bathroom and kitchen. Washing up and cleaning the bath and sink. Bringing in the laundered towels from the rotary airer. Emptying the indoor pedal bins and paper baskets. I have a long shopping list but have been putting it off because of the heat. As long as I have something for dinner I may leave it until tomorrow morning. I did. 

Spent hours out of doors viewing the sun in H-alpha.

 20.30 73F outside. A sweaty 81F inside upstairs. Dinner was mackerel on toast with mushroom on the side. It was superb! I cut down on the mini-oven baking time to only ten minutes. Less would probably have been even better. The mushrooms were unbelievably tasty! The cardboard tray storage in the fridge is magical.

~~

12.08.2022 Avoiding the abyss.

 ~~

 Friday 12th 58F. [at 7.15] Clear, wall to wall sunshine and hours of 28C promised. Woke at 3am and then slept until 6am. Time for a walk.

 8.30 70/21CF. Another early walk. Just a T-shirt today. So I remained cool. The lane-side field had been bailed. Providing a different sense of perspective. 

 A couple of teenage girls met at the junction with the lane on their bikes. Then proceeded onwards towards the main village. Presumably heading for school. A number of which are about 5km away. 

 That was a first sighting in all my years of walking and riding along the same route. It is rare enough to see a solitary "racing" cyclist out training. 

 I am unsure whether to open the windows and let the heat in. Or leave them closed and let the heat rise anyway. I have been leaving the greenhouse doors open overnight. To dump the previous day's heat. I have fine mesh panels to cover the open doors. So not even a butterfly can get in. Though that doesn't stop them finding a way. 

 After morning coffee I fitted a new cable and torpedo switch to the window extractor fan. I had been using an extension cord plugged into the hall socket. Now it is plugged into the third socket. Just above the toaster and kettle.

 I have reassembled our old, 1960s "modern" coffee table. Then cleaned and polished it repeatedly. It is long and slim with subtle, pleasing curves. So it goes well with the three, new/old chairs. This coffee table had decorated our various living rooms for decades.

 Then I started working on the clutter in the lounge again. It is horribly depressing having to go through everything she saved. Though I now have more stuff for the charity shops. Meanwhile, the armchairs are moving steadily backwards. Albeit measured only in centimetres. I must let go of more stuff!

13.00 82F/28C indoors and out. Lunch.

14.40. I keep seeing 83F in the shade on the outside thermometer. I am staying indoors out of the sun. I donated all of her many scarves to charity shops. Now I need a scarf to protect the back of my neck on the trike. My wife kept warning me about skin cancer but I had no sensible answer at the time. A handkerchief, arranged like the foreign legion caps might do. 

 18.30 79F/26C. Remaining very warm outside.

 20.43 72F outside. 79F indoors. I may have to sleep downstairs. Dinner was scrambled eggs with brown mushrooms. Chopped tomatoes on pasta. Followed by a bread roll.

____________________

 I often felt. That thinking about the loss of my wife. Was like standing near the edge of a terrifying abyss. For months it was completely impossible for my thoughts to venture anywhere near the edge of that dark chasm. I dare not allow myself to even think about what it meant to be without her. Not even for an instant. To do so would inevitably pull me in. I would plummet helplessly into insanity. Or a depression so deep and dark as to drown all hope of recovery. 

 Inevitably the very fear of those hideous thoughts diminished over time. Little, by little, I allowed myself to edge towards that crumbling drop into the empty void. The daily tears eventually subsided. While I continued to pretend she was [somehow] still there. That there still remained a faint hope that she would turn up again. Despite all evidence to the contrary. I had held her hand as I watched my poor wife die. 

 To fully accept that she will never return remains both distant and premature. The hair trigger to a painful tightening of the throat and yet more burning tears. Why her? When vile monsters live on for decades more.

 Sometimes, as I dozed at the computer after lunch, I would hear her voice. She would be scolding me for yet another flaw in my behaviour.

 I still call out to her every time I come indoors. "Only me!" [Me alone.] Just as I did for years on my return from my morning walk. Or from a ride to the shops. 

 Usually, she would be sitting on the elm armchair up on the landing. Watching yet another YT gardening video on the big TV. I still glance up through the balusters. In the forlorn hope of seeing her. Still sitting there. 

 Now the wooden TV chair has been moved. I am not sure whether she would have approved of its superbly comfortable, leather replacement. She hasn't yet favoured me with a haunting. To tell me what she really thinks about all the changes I have made. The changes, she can never, will never enjoy.

 

~~

11.08.2022 Harvesting proceeds apace.

 ~~

 Thursday 11th 57F/14C [at 7.15] bright, clear start with a heat wave warning. Only 28C within the next few days. Woke at 4.45 but managed to doze until 6am. 

 I had only a single sheet over me but was comfortable at 75F. The temperature upstairs did not change overnight after I closed the windows at bedtime.

8.30 68F/20C. The wind turbines were standing still for the second morning in a row. Though the wind usually rises as the day wears on. 

 I returned from my walk bathed in sweat. Having made the mistake of wearing my light, cotton jacket. Aided by tree growth and a lower sun, at least I was spared the usual blinding light on the return leg. 

 The contractors are still clearing next door's garden. I am very glad I live here and not there. If the absent owners of the thatch bought the house behind it they could gain some useful space.

 Plans for today? I need to shop for food. Best to go before it gets too hot. 26C/79F is forecast for this afternoon.

 12.00 80F/27C, almost still and sunny. Same temperature inside and out. Returning from the shops. 18 miles. I stopped to take pictures of a huge tractor tilling the fields.

 The estate agent delivered his estimate on the value of the house. Very, very low! Even if it was perfectly finished, furnished and decorated! I told you it was a hovel!  He made it very clear that there was a lot of work to be done before it remotely reached his estimate. Not least a heating system to provide warmth while the new buyers/occupant[s] were presumably at work. 

The garage which did the repairs kindly gave me a written estimate of the car's value. Very, very low! 1996? What did I expect? Exactly that low a valuation. It is comfortable, reliable transport and has a tow hook. What more need you ask of a car? Status?

 I can now supply the bereavement court with two figures it asked for. There is still the far more complex paperwork. Requiring a full breakdown of our individual and combined wealth on the day of my wife's death. The bank rang to check on progress of the paperwork. Without which the bank cannot release my wife's bank balance to me and the mortgage and insurance companies cannot accept me as sole owner. 

 I wish I better understood the wording of many on the court's standard questionnaire. They use terms which are well beyond my limited Danish. I keep using Google Translate but I am still not sure what they want to know. Nor even how to find the answers. 

  My wife's banks won't even talk to me until I have confirmation by the court that probate is granted. It's not a lot of money [at all] but the court wants answers I cannot obtain. A bit of a Catch 22. 

  My wife had small savings accounts in  a couple of British building societies. Which were taken over by banks after we moved over here. No easy access so she just left them alone. Interest rates have been all but non-existent for most of those years.

 16.00 Another short but hilly ride. Making a total of 24 miles today. I did some minor tidying in the lounge. To make more room for the three armchairs. I have nowhere handy to put all the stuff behind them.

 Dinner was cod in batter with the usual beans and tinned, chopped tomatoes. A bread toll to finish off the sauce.

 

~~