1st December 2016 Rumours of my demise...

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Thursday 1st 45F, 7C, very heavy overcast, intermittent rain, light winds building. The threatened 45mph gusts have been downgraded for our area. Not a great day, but I shall make the effort to walk but not run. Riding may be optional. With the wind roaring in the trees all day I pottered in the shed instead.

Friday 2nd 32-38F, 0-3C,  calm and clear. Still waiting for the sun to rise [~8.25] but it should be a rather cold, sunny day with light winds. Definitely a triking day.  The forest was very drab and monochromatic today. With the brilliant, low sun barely grazing the treetops. A thin cold wind nagged at my bare extremities but the £7 recycled, Helly Hansen jacket is proving excellent value.

Rode north into the light but cold wind. My recycled winter cycling jacket is proving itself for yet another year. Only 18 miles.

Saturday 3rd 25F, -3C. White frost. Had another sickness episode yesterday. Hours of vomiting until I was empty. Head spinning, couldn't open my eyes nor shut them. Couldn't lie down without throwing up. Sweating buckets despite being under-dressed in a cool bedroom.

Feeling slightly better this morning but threw up again after sipping only a little cold water. Back to bed where I slept on and off for hours and hours. Haven't eaten for 24 hours. Chewed my way through some dry toast and a cup of tea without milk and kept it down.

Googled the symptoms: Inner ear infection came top of the list. That would also explain the deafness in my left ear. Or, it could be the toxins on the fields I wander beside. Or even the hazel nuts in my home made muesli. And, no, I am not in the habit of placing hazel nuts in my left ear. Nor eating the crops in the local fields. Can they off-gas toxins at winter temperatures to make walkers [like me] so seriously ill? 

Sunday 4th 35F, +2C. Hard, white frost. Cloudy. Still. Feeling a bit better today though still "wobbly." I even managed to sleep last night despite having slept for most of yesterday. Breakfast stayed down. Though this probably still means a long ride is rather unlikely. I managed a couple of lengths of the drive to straighten my back and un-knot my legs after two days of inactivity. Quarter of a mile isn't much but it was absolutely freezing and the ground rock hard.

Just read on the BBC news website: This week's minister in charge of encouraging dangerous driving, in Gravely Blighted, is considering raising the penalty for killing while driving by 2035 at the earliest. Fines are reported to rise to a terrifying five new pence from the previous thruppence [in old money.] Half price discounts are available to the well-heeled who can still afford a decent suit and haircut. What with the pound behaving like a drowning infant, 'n all.

The penalty for using a mobile phone, while driving, is to rise from a barely affordable one pence to an [economically crippling] two pence. Full refunds and massive compensation will be allowed on appeal if you are rich enough. Provided the driver can prove, without reasonable doubt, that drink or drugs were entirely to blame for the subsequent multiple deaths and injuries. Specialist "Get 'em off!" ambulance chasers are already licking their lips at the promise of increased income at the victim's family's expense.

The current, average sentence for causing death by dangerous driving, in the UK, is 3 days in a centrally heated, juvenile detention center with Xbox, Netflix and large screen TVs in every private room with en-suite sauna and hot tub. With time off, for good behaviour, the savings for increased tax cuts for super-rich footballers are considered substantial:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-38199720

Click on any dreary image for a bit of a let down.

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28th November 2016 Under-gardener 2nd class.

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Monday 28th 27F, -3C, calm and clear with a white frost. A cold, clear day with sunshine and light winds. An hour's brisk walk down to the village and back. Eyes watering in the cold, northeasterly breeze on the way but it soon passed. Ponds now thinly ice covered. Blinding, low sun on the way back. Am I having fun yet? Spent the day working in the garden.

Tuesday 29th 33F, 1C, cold, still and clear at first. Wind and cloud expected later. It was 26F, -3C at bedtime last night. Another day of hectic activity in the garden.

Wednesday 30th 41F, 5C, very heavy overcast and windy but dry for the moment. A stiff wind for company as I walked my usual loop up through the woods and back along the road. A forlorn excavator guarded the heavily scarred field where the drainage project continues. Feeling tired and aching after yesterday's exertion with the chainsaw. Cue a chorus or two of: "I'm a lumberjack..." I was far too depressed by the heavy grey skies to bother with photography of the all too familiar landscape.

My emails were entirely absent this morning. The email service has been demanding payment for a once free service which I have now paid twice just to avoid being cut off.  Despite being a paying customer for two years they still switched me off. Update: It seems they had a technical fault which was not of my own making. Have you ever tried remembering a 13 digit number, seen only briefly, so you can collect a parcel from what now passes for the village post office? Thought not.

Spent the morning chainsawing again with frequent technical problems of my own. Mainly a lack of oil and chain shedding. Though I did enough sawing, intermittently, to finally complete the task my clothes stank of 2-stroke oil and petrol. [again] The Head Laundress was not well pleased. Though today I actually remembered to fit my walking gaiters to keep my socks free of wood chips. Well, one has to make every effort to maintain diplomatic relations with one's superiors. As under-gardener I hardly register on the radar of domestic, hierarchical machinations. 

Short afternoon ride in wind and driving rain to the shops. My cheapo, supermarket bought, X-Rage, cycling rain jacket worked perfectly. I was comfortable without overheating nor the slightest dampness on the winter cycling jacket underneath. Though my be-tighted knees were occasionally a bit 'noticeable' in the wet. Passing 7-axle lorries were offering free, dirty showers of diluted farmer's mud. They did not seem to care if I declined their kind offer. I was glad it was only seven, rather damp miles, fighting the elements in the name of belated, package procurement.

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22nd November 2016 Try not to inhale!

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Tuesday 22nd 46-52F! 8-11C, mild, dry, breezy and clear. The news has twin worries for those who care about human health. Large fractions of the population suffer from asthma which can often be traced to vehicle smog. A recent storm in Australia caused mayhem when  heavy rain stirred up pollen resulting in a 6-fold increase in demand on the emergency services. Many who had no previous history of asthma found themselves in severe breathing difficulties. The second story was about resistant bacteria thriving and mutating in air pollution. The filthy air contains nutrients and catalysts for genetic mutation. Many cities with pretensions to being "green" suffer from corridors of filthy air along all major roads and motorways. The story suggested 10 million people a year could die from living in smog affected areas directly as a result of resistant bacteria.

Mmm! Choker Colour. Liquid diabetes dumping on a verge near you. Burp!

An hour's walk down to the village and back. The watery sunshine continued as I helped The Head Gardener bag fallen leaves. Fortunately we ran out of large bin bags before I wore myself out by going as fast as possible. Plastic snow shovels/ploughs make excellent tools for gathering and shoveling leaves. Their huge capacity and perfect shape allows them to be used almost effortlessly on grass or flat soil. They also save repeated bending down to the ground to grab single handfuls of leaves.Rode to the shop to get more bin bags. Returned at dusk. 17 miles.

Wednesday 23rd 43F, 6C, clear-ish with almost no wind. It should be similarly mild to yesterday's temperatures later. 52F in late November? But let's not complain. A day of persistent vapour trails. Horizon to horizon stripes being spread sideways by the high altitude winds. Five planes were making their bright trails simultaneously. I remember one morning where the clear sky was literally criss-crossed with very persistent vapour trails. A gaggle of geese went over as I stared up at the sky. The ground was very sticky on the bare mud. Forcing me away from the track in places where it had been churned up. It seems to be clearing to bright sunshine now. Which ought to mean a ride with these very light winds.

It wasn't to be. I was instructed, in no uncertain terms, to get on with a project I have been working towards completion for many months.

Thursday 24th 32F, 0C, white frost, calm and clear. Sunshine and very light northerly winds are forecast. I may be able to sneak in a ride today. It was already late when I suggested I go out yesterday. A tour of DIY stores amounted to 24 miles. Very short of breath with a blocked nose to start but improved steadily. Mostly bright sunshine with very little wind. Lots of birds of prey around today. I found an as-new, Helly Hansen [Helly Tech ®] jacket in a charity shop. I'm hoping it will be much more breathable for my morning walks than my present crop of tailored "bin bags."

It will also be [hopefully] more visible to sleep-driving commuters. For the stretches where I have to walk the roads to my exit portals to the real countryside. The jacket will be washed first so I can't report back on its breathable qualities quite yet. Interestingly [?] Helly Hansen recommend washing to keep the fabric working as intended. We have searched every nook and pocket but can't find laundry instructions anywhere. So we had to find them online.



The jacket is well furnished with pockets. Handy for all the detritus so essential to an hour or two's walk slightly off the beaten track. Including an identity card in case I am found face-down in the brambles. Or one of those vanishingly rare police cars stop me for identification. I'd hate to be arrested as an undesirable and put on the next flight back to Gravely Blighted. A case of cruel and unusual treatment if ever there was one. I can't imagine my pidgin Danish will go down well at the local [Broxit] Aldis. I shall just have to demand refugee status.

Friday 25th 32F, 0C, dead calm, white frost, very misty, with strange, orange-pink stripes across the lower sky. A cloudy start is forecast with a clearing to some sunshine later. I just hope I can find the garden gate in this mist. An hour and a quarter walk up the woods. Circled via the tracks and back home again. The first Jay I have seen and heard for ages was guarding the entrance. The mist is slowly clearing as the sun grows brighter. Rest day being busy at home.

Saturday 26th 41F, 5C, heavy overcast, still. The forecast is windy with gusts to 25mph later. I shall have to leave early. My walk took me past the marsh where I upset the ducks and a large heron. Then onto the lanes and back along the roads. There was a cool wind at times.

Another dead gull and a polecat[?] were lying on the verge about a hundred yards from each other. I haven't seen a dead gull in years and now two in one week? I hope this is not indicative of bird 'flu? A pair of buzzards were wave riding on the front of the forest and calling to each other. The traffic was light enough to ignore until a bus overshot one of the sharp, blind bends to use half of my side of the road.  I need rear view mirrors on my walking hats now?

Shopping ride.  Headwind coming home heavily laden. 17 miles.

Sunday 27th 32F, 0C, sunny from a cloudless sky, quite still with just a light, white frost. I walked around the block in my latest, charity shop bought, walking jacket. I was warm and comfortable without the bin-bag sweats of the non-breathable examples. I m amazed how many people wave to me from their cars these days. Whether on my trike or walking I see hands waving from behind windscreens. Only the gentlest of breezes so far. Spent the day trimming branches off the overgrown garden trees. More than enough exercise for one day!

Click on any image for an enlargement.

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