3.04.2020 😷 Day 22. 😷 A veritable Jinping Pandemic of Darwin Awards: 😷

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Friday 3rd April, 35F, clear, becoming overcast. Another windy day in prospect but with slightly more sunshine. If you can believe either of them! A cold wind as I circumnavigated the village church and back. There was a notice hanging on the gate about graveyard maintenance being put on the back burner for the duration. I wouldn't have minded a bit of social distancing from the traffic one of these days. The minimum [social] distance from pedants and cyclists, before The Jinping struck, was 1.5 meters. Now 2m ought to do it, but no. It would be too much trouble for the lazy gits to drive around us.  

Happy Birthday Dave! Stay safe! 😷

There are just, far too many Jinping Pandemic Darwin Awards today. So I'll make a rough list in no particular order of importance. We don't want anybody that dangerously retarded "willfully, educationally disadvantaged" thinking they are remotely important:

Important Note: The term: "Retarded" is not allowed during a pandemic on the grounds of personal sensibilities under Strict Social Control. The Head Editor has therefore, unanimously decided that "willfully, intellectually disadvantaged" will just have to do from now on.

I wanted to go on using retarded for as long as possible. But we have to respect the peasants pedant's wishes. So, from now on, Chump will be referred to as interu interllektjuly wolfully, willfully intellectually disavd divads disadvantaged. And not a fumbling, retarded, sociopathic, self promoting fuckwit.

First JPD Award: The US navy bosses who sacked the concerned captain of an aircraft carrier as the Jinping coronavirus began to spread like HIV through the crew. These same, career, US navy bosses had absolutely no answer to his pleas for help. So somebody naughty leaked his letter to his [alleged] superiors.

No doubt Herr Doktor Chump [the world's leading, immigrant vitriologist] didn't like the captain. Not only for bringing international attention to his grave plight. But much worse: Taking the limelight off Himself as the Coming of the second Mind Messer messiah. [Whatever.]

We got the message already! Forces personnel are always completely disposable at the whim of the Grate Leader. Though not as disposable as surgical gloves and masks on an aircraft carrier. Because there simply aren't enough of those to go around. 

Oh BTW: Avoid nitrile gloves by XYZ. They have the strength of sopping wet, soft, single layer, toilet tissue left outside in all weathers since the 1950s. i.e. Made in the 1950s and still being sold as new stock.

What's next ON the JPDA list? Oh, yes: The utterly, utterly, utterly deluded, Danish "Ayatollah" who wanted to open the churches for services at Easter. Woohoo! This is strictly out there with all the other seriously, Twilight Zone, pandemic stories. Woohoo! Woohoo, indeed.

And no, despite constant rumours to the contrary,  prayer has never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever defended anyone or anything against any risk, large, small or global. That's why priests and churches always have insurance. Get it? Thought not.

Not once in entire human history has prayer altered the course of a detached fly's wing or a single thistledown on a vesper. Proof enough? I think so.

Fortunately the Danish priests rose up, en masse, against their "fiddling Nero." So the Easter church opening idea was quickly "hung up to dry" as it were. On the grounds of religious congress being totally and utterly bonkers during a pandemic.

Or, to put it as simply as possible for their "willfully, educationally challenged" church leadership: The priests didn't want to meet Their Maker quite yet. Life is far too cushy, thank you very much. Besides, just think of the backlog of funerals if the priesthood started dropping like flies?

They'd have to get the excavator driver at the mass graves to say a few words of condolence. Something respectful, like: "Fuck me! That's another, giant, dumper truck load of dead bodies!"

All the while ensuring correct social distancing and wearing a mask and gloves, of course. I presume the excavator drivers of mass graves are considered "essential personnel?" We don't want any "weekend excavator warriors" doing this vitally important job. A zombie pandemic on top of the real one would be unthinkable! [Except in America.]

I have another, very minor JPDA for professional fake news assemblers on the extreme right of fascist idiocy. Your strong, political bias shows how closely related you are to all the other members of your "willfully, educationally disadvantaged" classes. So, May the Chump be With You!

BTW: Anybody who has reached this far should  immediately employ "social distancing" from this daily dose of excessive silliness.  😷 

Let's be careful out there! 😷 Or preferably, not out there. At all! 😷

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