21.03.2020 Day 9. Shopping on Mars. Today's Jinping Pandemic Darwin Awards: Cafe goers.

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Saturday 21st 31-45F? A light, overnight frost. The forecast is sunny all day, but cool. Woke early and couldn't go back to sleep. My walk may be at 7 o'clock instead of nearly nine.

I left at 7:40. Thankfully the frost had produced firm footing. Returning an hour and a bit later after a tour up to the woods. Then back along by the marsh. Lots of birdsong and light traffic. Several woodpeckers could be heard but not seen. I saw a Red breasted merganser with a black beak on the marsh pond. They are suppose to have a carrot for a nose but this one was obviously just trying to be  different.

Buying shopping online is proving far more difficult and costly than I had hoped. Our favourite supermarket Rema1000 has a "personal shopper" system but no service for our entire postcode area. They rely on pocket money volunteers to shop and personally deliver after payment online. Now they'll want danger money!

The Danish Coop has an online purchase and postal delivery service, Osuma, but doesn't stock most of what we usually buy at FAKTA. Its discount partner, supermarket chain. We rarely shopped at the Coop after they closed the nearest branch but shopped regularly at FAKTA. Which now means large gaps in our usual diet. I don't think I'm being too picky. Despite our choosing organic produce when the option is available. Yes, I do know there is a pandemic, but who wants to eat or drink what we have already tried and rejected as unpleasant?

It would be so tempting to go down to the village and get all our usual stuff for a week's consumption. If they would let me buy that much in one go. The Danish supermarkets haven't invented early opening for the elderly. So its battle with the hoards of shoulder to shoulder, coughing hoarders, or go without. Just the price of Jante's Law. Until a pure-bred, Great Dane invents early opening times it will never happen. Not ever!

The supermarkets are being rationed to a limited number of shoppers at a time. This it to maintain social distancing. This must surely put a dent in their customer numbers overall. What happens then the multibillionaire, supermarket chain owners, lounging on their super-yachts, off the coast of their private, tropical islands, realise that the takings are down?

Will they suggest an online delivery service for all? Preferably before there are no customers left alive? Or will they choose fewer staff and make them even younger? Like they do in FAKTA  already?  Oh, I've just realised: The hoarders are making up for the drop in customer numbers. Forget everything I've said so far. There's still absolutely no shortage of easy profits to be had.

There was a time I could trike down to any local village supermarkets and be back in an hour with everything we needed. These villages might as well be on Mars for all the good they are now. I daren't take the risk of bringing the virus back and giving it to my lovely wife of over half a century and still counting.

"Nero" Von Chump, the immigrant, gets a Consolation Darwin Award mention today for ordering millions of doses of malaria vaccine. Malaria vaccines are probably as useful as sugar lumps against the virus. That didn't stop him attacking a journalist for pointing out the bleeding obvious. Why can't the White House staff just put the overgrown, retarded chump in his secure playpen and work around him?

I have just realised that businesses are going to invest heavily in robots when they get a chance to re-open. How else will they lower the risk of absenteeism through ill health? Buy pork bellies robots? Suit yourselves.

I have just tried to order food online from Osuma at Coop.dk. I worked my way through the shopping process, filled out my inside leg measurements and then they said: Friday of next week, 6 days away, before they can deliver!!! What is the Danish for starvation? Stay at home in our age group? What complete and utter nonsense if we are expected to stay at home without food! Give the Danish PM a nudge, will you, before she fines old people for going to the shops! 

Fortunately, I discovered that Rema1000 is now able to home deliver orders placed online using their Vigo service. [We-go for those slow on the uptake.] When I checked their website a couple of days ago there was no service locally. They must have expanded with the sudden close down of most, non-essential jobs.  Leaving people free to find alternatives to fill their time. I was on the point of giving up all hope of home delivery and about to get in the car. We are out of almost everything after 9 days without doing any shopping at all.

It all went very smoothly apart from a couple of items being out of stock. [No, not bog rolls!] I left a wheelbarrow outside the gate with a large box to contain the shopping. The pleasant young lady who performed the delivery was understanding about my desire to remain at a safe distance because of the virus. Many thanks.

Today's Pandemic Darwin awards go to cafe goers in Copenhagen. Despite the rule against more than 10 people congregating together, 23 people and the cafe owner, were all fined. Why? For feeling fully entitled to completely ignore the dangers of spreading the virus far and wide.  

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