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Friday 15th 45F, overcast and occasionally breezy from the west. The sun will be rationed today. It's official. Both competing meteorological services agree for once. I had better dig out my suntan cream and winter cycling gloves. I should have worn my winter walking coat for the stroll to the lanes. It has already reached 50F and still felt cold.
I hear from the BBC see that Gravely Blighted needs more <cough> "hospitals for the criminally insane." There is a war on birds of prey by the shooting estates. The serial killers are emboldened by the Jinping Pandemic, lock down. May the stain of the blood on their hands remain indelible.
I hear from the BBC see that Gravely Blighted needs more <cough> "hospitals for the criminally insane." There is a war on birds of prey by the shooting estates. The serial killers are emboldened by the Jinping Pandemic, lock down. May the stain of the blood on their hands remain indelible.
Yes again we are in a bit of a pickle: We keep ordering our favourite wholegrain bread rolls and they keep being out of stock to our "personal shoppers." We had changed to rolls because edible, wholemeal bread is very hard to find in Denmark. Once found, it keeps shrinking in its dimensions and is then quietly discontinued once it fully achieves its "ridiculously overpriced" status. To be replaced by man-made, white stodge masquerading as bread.
This keeps happening and has been happening regularly since we came over here. The Danes like rye bread. Which has a density close to the heavy elements. Moreover it must be sold so cheaply that it is almost given away. The general rule is that it should be cheaper than the one-use, carrier bags. Rye bread is a commodity best carried home from the supermarket in a junior, bricklayer's hod. While fresh, rye bread has the consistency of big quarry, dumper truck, tyre rubber.
Worse, it has a half-life shelf life best measured in microseconds. Beyond which, it turns to into rather emaciated, but incredibly tough, small scale, building blocks. No doubt it was the original trigger for the Lego building boom. Though no pure-bred Great Dane has set their minds to discover the full potential of this building material at full scale. So, under strict Janteloven Rules it cannot be used as such. At least not yet. I have no clue as to its insulating values but it is said to make an excellent wheel stop on steeper parking spaces.
The point of this saga? I may have to steel myself to don my [unapproved] hazard cagoule and dusty woodworking mask to grab some stock at the local supermarket. THG has tentatively suggested I add a footnote, or clause, to our personal shopper's, shopping list. Indicating that failure to purchase our bread rolls will make the entire [remote] shopping spree null and void. I can't see that working somehow. No personal shopper, worth their salt, will accept conditional shopping embargoes.
Besides, it might start another international spat. They might bung us on the next plane "home" to Gravely Blighted. If it were not for the lack of airlines left to carry out these "cleaner" jobs. THG is excused air flight on the grounds of there not being enough "walk on" luggage space for all her pots, seedlings and bags of compost.
While Denmark only offered me temporary asylum [due to PTSD] from having lived through the Thatcher Tyranny. They feared I might suffer further torture if I stayed. That "stay of execution" could easily be rescinded if the wind changes.
While Denmark only offered me temporary asylum [due to PTSD] from having lived through the Thatcher Tyranny. They feared I might suffer further torture if I stayed. That "stay of execution" could easily be rescinded if the wind changes.
Imagine if I found myself back in Blighty, completely alone. Bereft of the other half of our cooperative understanding that only a ceasefire has been agreed. Not a full declaration of peace in our time.
And who knows what trouble THG might get into without my <cough> calming influence? She might even go critical! Chernobyl had better look to its laurels if that should happen. However good it might be for the local wildlife, the blast radius alone could fell quite a few stacks of chainsaw produced kindling. All hewn from toxic, soiled industrial pallets made from endangered hardwood species.
All it would take to set her off is an errant Wood pigeon or yowling neighbour's cat. Or [god forbid] both!! I had better warn the Space Station crew to keep an eye out for the flash. They might want to wear their welding goggles while flying over Denmark. Just in case.
All it would take to set her off is an errant Wood pigeon or yowling neighbour's cat. Or [god forbid] both!! I had better warn the Space Station crew to keep an eye out for the flash. They might want to wear their welding goggles while flying over Denmark. Just in case.
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