31.07.2022 Home alone 119.

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 Sunday 31st 61F, overcast. Possible rain. Late this afternoon. Up at 5.45. I was too hot in the night. Despite having all the windows open all afternoon. I only managed to get the bedroom temperature down to 73F/23C. I felt cold at bedtime. [11pm.] 

09.00 65F A late walk. Cloudy, with distant mist and so humid it felt like a sauna outside. Non-existent traffic. No birdsong except for distant, raucous crows.

 It is four months, 17 weeks or 119 days, today, since my wife died. So much has changed. And yet so little. I still call out "Only me!" As I come indoors. To a home my wife might now struggle to recognise. Quite a few items of secondhand furniture are absent. She would not be able to find many of her possessions. Which would make her very cross! There is much more light and far greater freedom of movement. Both indoors and out. Even though I am still moving boxes around. To be able to work on certain projects.

 Three months is not remotely long enough to accept she is no longer here. Far too short a time to not immediately associate her every possession with a memory. 

 I am now able to freely cross the front hall with both doors wide open. Which often leads to having to make a choice of route from the kitchen. To go upstairs or to go outside. Or even to reach the bathroom. The place is still a mess. Though slowly responding to my endless tidying and resorting. There is far too much repetition. Just to make sure I am not discarding important papers. 

 She kept everything. Going back to the 1960s and even reports from her schooldays. Her attendances at the post natal clinic. Wage slips from work. Receipts for literally everything. All neatly packed into envelopes into neatly packed boxes. She was a genius at packing and storing. Even when moving between different homes.

 My blog is inevitably "all about me." Bragging about all the things I have done since my wife left. A stranger in a white, chipboard box in a black hearse, And even before that. The mad rush to clear all her packaging material from the house, the greenhouse and the sheds. All carefully stored for the house move which never, could never happen. 

 Responding to my desperate desire. To finally clear the unkempt hedges and huge trees she would never let me touch. Which prevented the car from leaving with its outside mirrors still extended. Made moving between sections of the garden a free shower after dew or rain. Causing her countless hours of wasted labour bagging fallen leaves.

 I stopped crying every single day only after two months. The involuntary triggers were then reserved. For those occasional face to face discussions of my dear wife. There were far too few opportunities for this due to my complete rural isolation. So I continued to work on the house and garden. Just as I have done since she left.

 I still have moments when I can hear her voice. In that twilight between my all too frequent dozes. I am often too tired to keep my eyes open at the computer. Or while watching YouTube videos on the TV.  Should I keep talking to her when I am alone? It becomes more difficult and much less often now. Mostly when I am unsure about something. Which is all too often.

She was always there to advise. The steady voice of reason against my lifelong impulsiveness and idiocy. I relied on her completely for over half a century in maintaining the sensible path. She had to be responsible when I was often anything but. The burden must have been intolerable at times. My declarations of respect and love so seldom. As to be damned by faint praise.

 Am I responsible enough now? Can I really manage on my own? It is a very steep learning curve! Maturity often beckoned but was ignored. Until it was [far] too late. Now I am the wrong side of 75 and everything is an uphill struggle. She cared for me too much. Leaving great gaps in my knowledge.

 At first I was angry at her going. Then desperately sad. Constantly racked with guilt. I felt I needed to prove to her and myself. That I really could manage all the unfinished jobs. The countless things which jarred the eye as I ripped back the concealing layers. The veil of her obscuring curtains. Shedding the semi-darkness. Exposing a lifetime collection of perfectly packed boxes.

 To finally expose the hideous reality of the cheap dump we bought in haste and desperation. Then filled to the brim with cheaply bought "treasure." For all of those 26 long years. After her mother completely lost the plot and rejected me. Ejected us both and inevitably, lost her only child.

 Her mother had invited us over to live with her in her vast and dilapidated, old farmhouse. Which she could no longer afford to live in. Nor even heat. Leading to her poverty, separation and complete isolation from the child she claimed to love. After decades of clear and overt dislike of her chosen partner. I still have no idea why she invited us over. My wife would go over for short holidays with her.

 It could all have been so very different. With perfect hindsight it would probably have ruined us to have stayed. Quickly depleting what little reserves we had left from the sale of the detached rural, Welsh cottage. Which we had rebuilt [literally] with our own hands from a pile of stones. Half buried in a sheep farmer's field. So that there were sheep up on the roof. As went for the official viewing.

 Even working alone, the cost of repairs to her mother's old farmhouse would have been astronomical. Every antique window was single glazed, in very poor condition and always unsealed. There were large gaps under every, antique door. The cavernous roof was full of woodworm. The place ran with rats and mice. 

 Mice would sit and watch me as I had breakfast in the empty kitchen. Which she had ripped out and had never replaced. Including the sink! So that the washing up had to be done while kneeling in front of the bath. Not a good omen for a stable relationship!

 She would insist on taking her huge Newfoundland and Alsatian on every trip in the car. So that every window steamed up and it was impossible to see out. She started stealing our post and ringing anybody and everybody. Those who were professionally involved in our buying our Danish hovel. Or our dealings with Danish officialdom. Not a good start in a new country!

 Her mother even sent large cards through the post. Written in large capitals, in Danish. Saying that I was living off the Danish taxpayer. Which was complete nonsense. Because I was not entitled to a single kroner. We survived entirely on the proceeds of our house sale until I found work. We were the only Western Europeans at the Danish language school 25 miles away.

 Meanwhile I was rebuilding the hideous mess which was our new home. Or going out bargain hunting in the car. Visiting charity shops and flea markets at weekends. Desperate to escape the neighbours from hell. Who constantly chainsawed firewood for their extended family. Right on the other side of the shared hedge. Or left the tractor running outside our windows. While they watched football on TV. 

 Or left multiple dogs to bark 24x14. While they went on holiday. Another neighbour would go over and feed them. The neighbours from hell got through a lot of barking dogs over the years. Probably because they were left in a narrow, overgrown slot. Between the house and the raised field. So that they never saw the sun. Nor ever enjoyed any exercise.  

 My greatest regret is that my wife will not enjoy all the "improvements" I have made to the house. It could never have happened in her lifetime. She hated change and my making a mess. I was never allowed to touch her storage boxes. They were private. So that things gradually became old and tired and dirty. Or riddled with woodworm and strewn with cobwebs. 

 I would give anything to have her back. To be be able to undo all the wrongs, the failures, the disappointments and omissions. To really share my feelings for her. I tried to do that in her last week. As she lay dying. Doped up with morphine in the hospital bed in the middle of the living room.

 We had so much to discuss but it was just a monologue. My voice droning on. As she lay with her mouth wide open. Increasingly unrecognisable as the cancer took its final toll. They say that people can understand voices while under the effects of morphine. I just hope she heard me say how much I loved her. Over and over and over again. 

12.00 74F bright overcast. Three more wood-cement boards are up on the north side of the balcony room. What a struggle! Too hot! 

 I should move everything across to that side now. So I put up the next three on the south side. Which will leave only the short section to the floor. It is impossible to photograph the sloping ceilings until I can crouch down on the far side. I need more distance. Even with wide angle on the TZ7. Now I definitely need a rest!

 13.40 74F/23C Lunch over. Getting back to fixing the next row of boards on the other side. I have all the windows open to get a through draught in the balcony room.

 14.15 76F/ 24C. The last row of three full boards are up. 18 boards so far. A long strip is missing nearest the inner wall. Plus the two, small rectangles where the boards had to be cut. To fit around the timber crosspiece. 

 Now I'll have to think about the lowest section. Short vertical walls? Or following the slope? It is certainly much lighter out there. After so many years of bare, ugly rockwool covered in disintegrating polythene. The floor stacked high with our inaccessible junk. It was almost always hidden behind concealing curtains on the tall, glazed, double doors. More darkness.

 What a hideous waste of a beautiful space! Never able to look out on the now open garden. A magical clearing in a beautiful forest. Suddenly populated by so many birds. The old curtains have gone. I have long, thin, white curtains but need a new pole to fit the loops. These curtains will never exclude the light. There will be light. 

 19.00 65F/13C. It has started raining and it is time to think seriously about making some dinner. The mushroom are off. Slimy, spotty and smelly. Whoops! 😱

What about fish fingers, tinned tomatoes and beans. Again? That was only last Tuesday.  I haven't mentioned that I bought some baking paper for the oven tray. Well, now I have. It works.

~~

30.07.2022 That "Somebody!"

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 Saturday 30th 59F/15C. Mixture of cloud and blue. Up at 3.45. An orange dawn at 5.30 Lighting up the clouds as I drink my first mug of coffee. An occasional breeze is moving the tops of the trees. The local recycling centre is open again at 9.00 today. So I can empty another trailer full.  

 The great thing about blogging is how it fills the empty hours. Between getting up at some ridiculous hour and going for my morning walk. I have arbitrarily decided to draw the line at going out any earlier than 6.30. 

 Breakfast [porridge with cold, low fat, organic milk and organic raisins] ought not to be before 6am. Otherwise it is a long time to morning coffee. Which can only take place after my walk.

 Wisdom does not improve with age. You learn more pointless stuff each day. While the tail end of failing memory catches up, ever faster and loses even more.

 I have given up caring abut politics. Those in charge are quite clearly not the corrupt retards who only pretend to be. UN? Nope. That's just a weapons sales platform with better cooking. The evil dictators? Nah. Certainly not the religio-fascist psychopaths masquerading as unbiased top judges. Is it the infamous 1% everybody blames for global warming? It is just possible, but unlikely unless they can all work in unison.

 Me? I blame alien, puppet masters. Big green men from a much warmer planet. Well, it makes far more sense than believing any of the mutually parasitic media pretenders can do anything useful. No matter how extreme their political idiocy they are clearly powerless. Nothing changes except the faces playing musical chairs on the 1st Class gravy train.

 6.30. 60F. Time for breakfast. That "Somebody" has left three stepladders in the living room!

 8.00. I have just returned from my morning walk to the lanes. The sky has been quite dark grey at times. The traffic was very light. As expected early on a Saturday morning in the holiday season.

10.00 Returned from the recycling yard. I have decided to go for a shopping ride on my trike. Perhaps 20 miles. Beautiful countryside and a light wind. What more could you ask for? A bit of sunshine? It remains steadfastly grey.

  13.30 Returned home after shopping on the trike. 24 miles. I traced out my route on Google Earth. It had the shape of an inverted heart. Late lunch first, then a shower and then an afternoon nap. 

 15.00 The garden is suddenly full of birds. Warblers, dozens of swooping swallows and a family of Great tits. A juvenile Great tit just landed on my windowsill. Warblers have been going down to the pond to drink. Then perching on the unprocessed logs.

 17.00 72F/22C. Afternoon tea. Four more wood-cement boards are up in the balcony room. Nine so far. Reaching down to about waist level.

 I have to make a decision on the height of the dwarf/knee walls. If any. The bottom of the 45º slopes aren't much use for anything. Access is poor without bumping my head. Or crawling under on my hands and knees. Limited storage capacity unless any cupboard doors are made tall enough. A greater sense of space if the slopes continue on down to the floor. 

 The next full row of boards, of 120cm, will reach down to about 30 cm [vertically] above the floor. The full slope is 157cm from the top of the next row. So a final row near the floor would be only 37cm high. Requiring eight, bevelled edged, short boards to continue the board pattern to the floor. Four full boards can easily manage this. If both, bevelled ends are used. 

 Dinner was a salmon pasty with baked beans and chopped tomatoes. A wholemeal bread roll completed the ensemble.

~~

 

29.07.2022 New sunglasses! 😎

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  Friday 29th  48/9CF. Calm with a bright start. A sunny day is promised. Winds light from changeable directions. Up before 5am. No ill effects from yesterday's ride. 

 A longer walk today. One hour and twenty five minutes. Down to the village and up the track to the woods. Fought my way through the brambles again. Wended my way through the beech wood. Then down by the steep track to the next village. To walk home against the traffic. 139 pictures so far.

 I saw a solitary hare in the distance. The clouds were quite pretty at times. That lightly brushed look.

 12.00 69F/20C. Just returning from shopping and making more charity donations. I am adding to my socks and underwear from the supermarket. My old stuff is completely worn out. Most of my T-shirts are full of holes.

 I found a new pair of sunglasses in the supermarket for £8 equivalent. My old pair literally fell in half on yesterday's ride. They were years old. The new pair look quite sturdy. Deliberately chosen from the few available. I will always remember being in an upmarket cycle shop in Odense. A proud father was helping his cycling child choose a new pair of cycling sunglasses. In the £150 plus range! I suppose the boy was about ten or eleven. I hope his interest in cycling lasted.  

 15.20 71F/21C. I have been going through my late wife's papers again. Discarding the irrelevant. Envelopes and continuously repeated, form letters. Sorting the mixed into some context. Stirring up old memories. I'm now on my 4th laundry load in the washing machine. It makes weird noises as if there is somebody else in the house. Being alone magnifies every sound. Even my tummy rumbling. Or my breathing.

 17.00 72F/22. I moved onto clearing the balcony room floor. It has become a bit of a dumping area. For stuff I don't want to deal with for the moment. Old habits from when it was invisible and all but inaccessible storage for two decades. Half done. Sweeping raised a load of old dust. I'd better vacuum instead.

 18.45.70F/21C. I have just reached the other end of the balcony floor. Now everything is in the middle! Another trailer full of stuff to go to the recycling yard. I dropped it out of the window onto the back lawn. To save traipsing downstairs with it all. It was mostly cardboard boxes. I am trying to be more disciplined about discarding them.

 19.00 Dinner was baked cod in breadcrumbs. With mushrooms and fried tomatoes. A half tin of Heinz tomato soup was finished off with a bread roll.

 21.30 62F. I have loaded the trailer with all the recycling stuff from the balcony. Including the large carpet. Which never found a proper home here. The balcony room floor is cleaner now. Than it has been since I put the floorboards down years ago. 

 There was very little floor to be seen for as far back as I can remember. Mostly my own junk. Bought cheaply but too "valuable" to be thrown away. The bare floor now seems enormous! Reality is the 45º sloping ceilings. Narrowing the useful standing room. Like the rest of the attic. Where we lived and slept for 26 years. 

 Downstairs was cold in winter. Despite the old wood stove. So we climbed the steep stairs endlessly. To where it felt more comfortable. The TV and computer were always up here. Or rather a series of them. As the years flew by, largely unnoticed. Each overfull hard drive forcing an upgrade. New technology and failure to start slowly expanding the screen sizes. Perfect hindsight is a piss poor tool for living in real time. Nothing, can ever be undone. My tears do not wash away my sins of omission.   

 The last wash today was my cycling clothing. Several jerseys and padded, racing shorts. I had been waiting to accumulate enough for a machine wash. Hand washing makes more sense. The few items have gone out overnight on the clothes airer. Which might be a bit silly. Since they were almost dry. A heron flew silently, low overhead. As I hung the washing out.

 I went back out later and brought the cycling clothing into the greenhouse. No point in it getting wetter with overnight dew. 

 11.00 I kept falling asleep while watching YouTube. My loud breathing woke me up. Bed time!

~~

28.07.2022 28 miles and I still returned empty handed.

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 Thursday 28th 50F, calm, sunny and cloudy. [at 7am] Up at 5.45. Aching back and shoulders from yesterday's exertions. The wood-cement boards on the sloping ceiling have stayed up overnight. My thanks go again to my helpful friend. Without whom it would never have happened. Thank you.

7.00 Time for a walk to loosen up those muscles. 

 7.30-8.40. A racing cyclist, out training, was holding up a string of traffic. An articulated lorry couldn't get past. A large, brown hedgehog had waited for the traffic to pass. Then scampered across the road in front of me on tip-toe.

I walked on down to the village and then along the marsh track. Which [unusually] had just been mown. To remove the weeds which might get harvested. Hundreds of ducks took off from the pond on a signal from the resident heron. Back along a more distant lane. To the village. Where I saw the farmer who complains about my going "off road." Then home. 159 pictures so far. My aching back was soon cured once I started walking.

 9.20 59F. Overcast with sunny periods. I have run out of salad cream. An 8 mile distant shop sells it according to their website. I was going to ride there on my trike. Though I'd better give them a ring first to save  a wasted journey.

14.30.  It was  wasted journey. All their stock was 5 months out of date! New stock promised for next Wednesday. A small bottle costs 35DKK. £4 equivalent!! £1.70 at Sainsbury's.  I made a bit of a ride of it for 28 miles total. Visiting every shop on my route in the vain hope of finding some Heinz Salad Cream. I have searched online but it isn't advertised as a stock item anywhere else in Denmark. 

 19.00 After a late lunch and a couple of hours in the observatory I put up two more wood-cement boards. It was a simple matter of propping the board up on a couple of planks of suitable height. I added a suede hat to the top plank. To protect the board from cosmetic damage. 

 Once I was happy with the tightness of the fit I screwed the boards to the 25x100mm battens. The 40mm Torx screws are large headed, domed and painted to match the boards. It takes some care to avoid pulling the heads below the surface of the boards.

 The 45º sloping ceiling is very difficult to photograph. I couldn't get far enough away. Not even when crouching on the floor with the TZ7 at full wide angle. I have twisted the camera to make the window upright. Which threw off the horizontal.

 Dinner was salad with the usual additions. Tuna and poached egg.

~~

27.07.2022 Balcony board rescue.

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 Wednesday 27th 55F, heavily overcast and windy. Sunshine possible this afternoon.  Up at 5.15am. It's my farm museum day. Last week it was 35C/95F!

 08.00 55F. Returned from a walk to the village. The wind was strong enough to make my hands feel cold! There was brief, light rain on the return leg. Morning coffee is over. Just time for quick shower before I have to leave.

14.00 Lunch over and I am finished for today. I painted an antique carriage and then accompanied the boss on a guided tour.

6.30 My friend has just left. Having helped me fit the top two rows of boards onto the balcony ceiling. It should be straightforward from now on. The next lower rows of boards are within easy reach. I can use a broom and my head for support. While I drive the screws in.

 19.45 Dinner was mackerel in tomato sauce on toast with tomato soup.

~~

26.07.2022 Today I gained 227Mbps and a friend. 😊

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 Tuesday 26th 60F, overcast and windy. With early rain and possible showers. Up at 4.45am.

6.45 Breakfast. The estate agent is coming to value the house today. [10.30] So I have a bit of time to do some more tidying. You want the illusion of minimalism and spotlessly clean? I have only a couple of hours. Not months!

 Now that's a REAL crop circle!

 Perhaps I'd better make some coffee? For the "buy me now" coffee aroma illusion. Would anybody be taken in enough to spend a million or three on such blatant subterfuges? 😍 No, not on my rural hovel. I am talking generally.

 I do have some experience in house hunting. Decades of it. Always near the bottom of the market, price wise. The irony is that I could not live in 99.999% of the homes well above my [poverty] price threshold. 

 My criteria are rural, detached and distant enough from neighbours. Nowhere near a main road, motorway or railway line. Well away from pig farms. A large enough garden to feel the freedom to roam or explore. No overhead power lines or pylons.

 A view would be nice. Preferably clear across the southern 180º boundary. No overshadowing trees within that 180º. Control over my own, boundary hedges and view. No hills within that southern arc. Most of my criteria are matched by my present hovel. More so since we have lost neighbours and gained others. Luxury "des res" rural property anybody? 😂 

 7.15  Time for a walk.

 8.00. My walk to the lanes was cut short by a shower. A T-shirt was all I needed until the rain started. It soon passed over but I was halfway back by then. More time for tidying!

 9.55. By the most amazing coincidence some workers turned up. Intending to clear the drainage beck at the bottom of the garden. I only mentioned it on my blog yesterday. Amid my concerns about flooding. Isn't that odd? They had hoped to access the beck from my back garden but it is fully closed off.

 10.00 The estate agent turned up. He was intelligent and quick witted. So had no problem understanding my Danish. We did the full tour and he is going to get back to me. I kept apologising for the mess but it has never looked so tidy. Strictly by my own standards, of course.

 He confirmed that various features needed serious attention if I decided to sell. Like removing the large observatory in the back garden! Perhaps children would like a fort? 😊 [Positive thinking!] 😊

 He even suggested I take down some of the the trees on the northern boundary. To take advantage of the scenery. Grazing horses, green sward, etc. He approved of my removal of the big, horse chestnut to the west. Commenting positively on the light and space it brought to the garden.  He missed the warblers chasing a Great spotted woodpecker around the boundary trees. That was only a few minutes after he had left. 

 Now I have another visitor on his way. He should be here within the hour.  

 15.00 My second visitor has just left. Having sorted out my slow internet. After trying everything else it proved to be a duff 3m network cable. I now have 320Mbps! 😎 Instead of 93Mbps. Total expenditure? Two cups of black, instant coffee and a broken, digestive biscuit. I dropped the storage tin yesterday. 🙄 

  Afternoon nap. 

 19.45 59F Dinner was oven baked fish fingers. With tinned chopped tomatoes and baked beans. A bread roll to soak up the juice. 

 Deja vu? I have not had fish fingers for ten days. I was clumsy scraping the fish fingers off the baking tray. Nouvelle cuisine it is not! 

 I am glad to report the improved fish fingers from the mini oven. The frying pan in my unskilled hands was a poor second best. The baked fish fingers are delicate, free of fat and tasty. Thank you A for sharing your culinary expertise. 😋

  Today was a good day. I talked normally to even more people in my own home. Without the crippling shame of clutter and emotional history. Though the house is still far more cluttered than I would like. It has reached a point where I can let it go without the burden of guilt. 

 I am also adjusting to letting go of more of my wife's possessions. Lots of interesting ideas and possibilities are being raised. To help me to redistribute her treasures to an appreciative audience. Networking at its best.

 Each of my contacts is proving vital to my recovery. Each in their own way. I am steadily distancing myself from the tragic victim of a sudden bereavement. The voluntary work at the museum makes me feel normal and much more confident in my abilities. With a real purpose. It is by no means a "pretend" job. Even if it is only sharing my general knowledge with visitors. Or details from my own childhood in the 1950s. 

 There is a classroom at the museum. Where I can recognise details from my own junior school. One desk is exactly as I remember. Including the dip pen inkwells. This was back in the rural, north west of England. I can be a direct conduit to that distant time. Particularly with English speaking visitors.

 I was asked to help one of the guides with some English speaking Dutch visitors. He proved to be remarkably proficient in English once he had gained confidence. His knowledge of the period, suggested by the museum exhibits and later, is astonishing! 

 The other museum volunteers seem to accept me as I am. Some have made interesting suggestions to expand my social circle. They are delighted that I share some of their special interests. With some insights to offer of my own. Each conversation has a domino effect. As the word goes around and initial hesitancy falls away. I am certainly gaining confidence in my ability to communicate in Danish.

 I still don't now who I am supposed to become yet. Though it is all positive progress. Thanks to all of my contacts within the family and others. I won't embarrass you by name dropping here. You know who you are. A very sincere thank you. To all of you.

~~

25.07.2022 A matter of scale.

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 Monday 25th 66F/19C heavily overcast and windy. Thundery rain promised for this afternoon.  Up at 5am. 

 I have a trailer full of segregated waste for recycling. Though I'll have to drive twice as far to reach another recycling yard. Which is open every day except Sunday. 

 I shall shop in the village there. To make the journey more worthwhile. Some items are only available at the Coop. So I might as well take advantage of the branch there. Trivial, but important to keep up my stocks. Instead of making special journeys when I finally run out.

 8.30 70F/21C. Still overcast. A slight detour from my usual walk to the lanes. Adding ten minutes to my routine elapsed time. I have concerns about flooding. As a neighbour landscapes around a new build. It used to be routine for the back field to flood in winter. 

 My wife and I had a standing joke where we talked about hiring out rowing boats. Then the council came in and cleared the drainage beck. Resulting in an end to the flooding of the field. Though not the entire area. Another neighbour's garden was flooded only recently in heavy rain. Hence my concern about the landscaping.

 I waved to an elderly farmer in his small, old tractor in the lane. Whom regularly passes me with a trailer full of silage. That's him, disappearing into the distance. [Image above.] 

 Most tractors I see are colossal. To deal with the "prairies" [large fields] as quickly as possible. By which I mean fields over 1000m. The field on the left, in the image above, is over 1400m long x 900m wide. While the field on the right is a mere 550m long x 150m.

 The warblers and wrens were in good voice again today. While flocks of up to 100 sparrows seem almost commonplace at the moment. It felt very mild and humid. There was no need of my hat and jacket. I could have been more comfortable wearing just a pair of shorts.

 11.00 75F/24C. Overcast with some brightness. It took about an hour to get rid of the recycling waste, visit two shops and return home. 

13.00 80F/27C bright overcast. Lunch. I have been tidying steadily since my return from the recycling yard. My wife left lots of notebooks with plant names and details. Her collection of seeds, in their packets, must be somewhere around a couple of buckets full by now. I have been sorting through old papers and dumping receipts and papers going back decades.

 I fancy a ride to some other shops despite the warmth. Or because of it. Thundery rain is forecast after 4pm. So I'd better get going. 

 15.15 75F/24C. Returned from the shops. It rained at 7 miles. Just as I exited the 1st supermarket. Then it stopped long enough for me to get within a mile of home. Before really tipping down. I sheltered under a huge, wayside tree for a couple of minutes. Waiting for it to go off.  Tailwind and 19mph going.  Headwind and 12mph coming home. 13 miles altogether.

 18.00 68F/20C. Shower and afternoon nap followed by late, afternoon tea. I will have to do some more washing up if I am to survive. All the mugs and cups are used up. 🙄

 18.45 Sky clearing to sunshine. Washing up done. I'm going with salmon pasty, tinned chopped tomatoes and baked beans for dinner. With a wholemeal, bread roll to soak up the juice.

~~

24.07.2022 Cooking in Ernest[o?]

~~

 Sunday 24th 48F Bright start, but cloud expected. Up at 5am after waking at 4am. No escape from the bad memories. 

 I must tidy up the residue from the latest clear out. An estate agent is coming on Tuesday to value the house. There are a lot of boxes and papers to be rid of again. The local recycling yard is not open until Wednesday. When I am a volunteer at the museum. Not helpful. 

 I shall just have to take a trailer full to a more distant recycling yard tomorrow. [Monday] Which means some serious sorting today. I keep taking the rockwool, for the balcony, in and out of the trailer. It is a handy and weatherproof [and invisible] means of storage of the four bulky bags under its fitted tarpaulin. 

 06.30. Time for a walk. I have hung out the towels from last night's wash. The rotary drier hasn't fallen over yet. A wren keeps singing from the ridge at the west end of the house. It can make quite a racket despite it diminutive size!

 A longer walk to the far woods. Looping back along the pretty lanes. Almost continuous sunshine and feeling too warm in my thin cotton jacket. I have taken 167 pictures so far. Returned in exactly an hour. I saw a lady jogger. A rare event on my usual routes.

 10.00. 65F. Bright overcast. I have completed 95% of clearing the upstairs clutter. The cardboard, polythene and paper have all been segregated and taken outside. Ready to load the trailer when the rockwool has found yet another new home. The weather looks a bit doubtful. So I'll have to monitor carefully for rain. I have done the washing up and cleaned the hob. 

 Late morning nap to catch up. I was nodding at the computer again.

 13.20 Lunch over. Still tidying. 

14.00 71F. Overcast, warm and windy. The rockwool is now housed in the unfinished dome.

 I have filled the trailer with paper, polythene and cardboard waste. Tidied the airing cupboard. Removed the tubs which were hindering access to the clean towels. Replaced the mug with a nice glass. For my toothbrush and paste. On the chromed basket-wall shelf in the bathroom.

 Then I went outside to continue clearing "the patio." I use the term as loosely as the shattered cement and rubble. From which it is/was badly formed. It didn't matter too much in the past. Not when it was covered in countless plant pots and shelving units for more plants. Once cleared and exposed [by me] it is pitiful and truly ugly by any standard you care to imagine. 

 My navvy's pick handle has rotted away over the years. Nobody stocks a sturdy enough handle to fit the head of a British pick. So I am limited to using my gloved hands and a garden rake. Once it is excavated and levelled I shall bring in some self-compacting gravel. This will stabilise the area. Then I can lay paving slabs on sand or gravel. As a walking surface to reach the main [back] door. 

 The front door is inaccessible in the lean-to greenhouse. The parking area is at the back. So the back door offers the only sensible access to the house. 

 I need to make another door. The one I made from sturdy floorboards, many years ago, has weathered and shrunk. An insulated door would make better sense. The present one can have white frost on the inside in winter. Letting more light into the back hall would be good too. Provided it was secure and insulated.

 This is weird. I was searching in the kitchen cupboards for a glass. When I found yet another frying pan. A larger one. Which is exactly what I need. Stainless steel and unused. Still in the cardboard, sales-display packaging. With a ceramic, non-stick coating.

  It will be much more useful than the smaller one. [On the right] Which I have been struggling with so far. Though its non-stick coating is fine. Even under the torture I have been putting it through.      

 "Ernesto" is a Lidl brand. How could I have missed it? I had already found the plain, stainless steel one and quickly abandoned it. A lack of non-stick coating made it into a "glue pot" with my immature, cooking skills.

 17.20 Raining. 

 18.45 67F/19C. I found an online, C to F,  temperature conversion table. With a bit of cropping I was able to print in a decent size for easy reading. I had misplaced my hand written conversion table.

 20.15 64F. Dinner was salad with Tuna and poached eggs. I am still experimenting with the degree of boiling in the pan. Logic suggests a higher temperature will solidify the whites sooner. Logic also suggests that water cannot exceed 100C once it is boiling. So a more gentle boiling won't disrupt the whites.

 

~~

23.07.2022 Gone, but not forgotten. 😢

~~

 Saturday 23rd 56F. A dark grey overcast with a breeze moving the tops of the trees.

 Up at 6.30. It is cooler again. So I am back in my proper bed upstairs. With my summer, down duvet in a fresh cover. I was aching last night from yesterday's exertions. My hands, arms and shoulders are still aching this morning. It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Though I only cried once.

 I had been putting off clearing my wife's side of the bedroom until I felt ready. The whole house now looks like a tip! I didn't put any charity shop stuff in the car as planned. Though I did do the washing up. 😇 

 I'll move the car nearer to the house and drop the rear seats forward. That would provide enough space with two trips. Or, I could use the trailer. I'd really like to help the smaller charity shops in the village. 

 The large, backstreet shop has very easy, rear access parking at the delivery doors for donations. The smaller ones are a parking nightmare in the high street! Particularly with the trailer! They also, only take clothes. While the large shop will take [almost] anything. Though they eventually refused to take any more clothes, curtains and bedding. They were swamped by my donations. They were closed for the holiday today. So gained nothing from my visit. Nor did I.

 Perhaps I should be more selective in what I take. I am only 3 miles/5km away from the nearest village. So it isn't a problem to make multiple trips. The recycling yard is open again today, if needed.

 08.45. 57F. Still grey, damp and breezy from the west. I am enjoying morning coffee after my routine walk to the lanes. It was spitting with fine rain now and then. The roads were quite damp in patches. While the traffic was lighter than ever. 

 I returned home to a welcome from the warblers, chaffinches and wrens. Families of Great tits have been bombing around the garden. With different birds flying out and back to catch insects in the air.

09.45 58F, drizzling steadily. The car is stuffed full as I set off for the charity shops. They don't open until ten. 

 12.00 I have just returned from a second trip to the charity shops in two villages and a recycling centre. Three charity shops were closed for the holidays. 🙄 The donation bin for clothing was full up at one shop. Of course it was! Lazy lot! Why couldn't they empty it? It took me a full ten minutes to force the bags of cloth and down duvets in. By repeatedly slamming the security flap!

 The ladies at the local Red Cross Shops must be specially picked. They are really lovely to deal with. Polite and enthusiastic for all my donations. It felt really good to be delivering my wife's things to such an appreciative staff. Knitting wool, cloth, baskets and china ornaments were all taken with cheerful thanks and good humour. Just what I needed. Though I had to leave rather quickly when I started crying again. 

 I had a very large box of my wife's dressmaking things: Countless buttons, cotton. silk thread, scissors, tape, etc. A genuine 50 year collection. Put together by a keen and skilled dressmaker in her time. 

 I was hovering outside the charity donation shipping container at the recycling yard. When a polite, younger lady asked if she could have it. Again, I was delighted to see it going to somebody who would really appreciate it. To use it herself. Or share it around. She was really pleased when I said she could have it. As was I. 😊

 It feels as if I have finally cleared the house of most of my wife's belongings this morning. Well, at least the easily disposable items. There are still the many boxes of books. I haven't found a satisfactory way of disposing of them yet. Nor of my own. There must be well over a thousand books altogether. Then there are all the glass and china ornaments. Not to mention her countless, china cats.

 17.00 I have just returned from my third trip to the recycling yard today. The first, after lunch, was to deliver a whole trailer full of chestnut joints. Which could not be split by hand. Some of them were very heavy! 

 The second trip was to clear the very last of my wife's plant pots, tubs and seed trays. About half a trailer full. Only a few of her large, iron, cooking pots remain outside. They may be useful for decorative shrubs. There are some shrubs growing in large, polystyrene boxes. Hardly suitable for decorative use.

 I finished off the day with the lawnmower. The lawn[s] and the 100m length of the drive. Middle and both sides. While I was strimming I found a nest of tiny, pink rodents in the long grass. I put them back where they were. I also found another load of seed trays and plant pots in the greenhouse. Hiding under more trays. It is never ending.

 Dinner was poached eggs on toast with baked beans. The 7 minute eggs were perfect. Midway between runny and hard boiled. 😋

~~

22.07.2022 The last, big sort out.

 ~~

 Friday 22nd 57F, overcast and raining steadily. Expected to rain until 9am. Up at 6.15 after a good night's sleep.

 First job was to do the washing up. Otherwise there will be no breakfast or morning coffee. I had used up every bit of crockery! 🙄

 The rain soon petered out and I went for my usual walk to the lanes. There was unusually light traffic this morning. Swallows zoomed around me for most of the time. It is becoming breezy again. From the west today.

 Due to my awful memory and a complete lack of organisation I have had to print out a month's calendar in advance. On which to mark appointments etc. My previous calendar was for 6 months and there was no room for details or times. It was lucky I did so. Because I had two conflicting appointments on one day.

13.05. 67F. Lunch and the first hint of brightness. I spent the entire morning stripped down to my shorts. With the windows wide open for a cross draught. I was exploring my wife's side of the bedroom. I knew it wouldn't be easy from an emotional viewpoint. With so many items so close to my wife and her memory.

 There were 14 large, fruit boxes full of books. Lots of papers. Most of which could be safely discarded. Then there were boxes of Christmas decorations. Boxes of cards. Jigsaw puzzles. More china. More bedding, more curtains and dressmaking cloth. Second hand handbags.

 Shoes and boots. Some obviously unworn. Our son's stuffed toys from babyhood and childhood. Some of which my wife had made herself. Including a large, furry Womble and some knitted items. More of everything imaginable. As I dig down and along behind her bed. Which itself is still loaded with duvets, pillows and bedding. I have managed to thin those out.

 I am only half way along. Under the 45º overhanging wall. She used the triangular cross section to maximum advantage. By placing large boxes against the dwarf wall. Then working outwards and upwards. There is even  a desk and a chest of drawers buried under her storage boxes.

  14.50 67F. I have just finished: There were 75 rolls of wrapping paper. Mostly with a Christmas theme but not exclusively. 55 years of dressmaking materials and its equipment. Thousands of different buttons. Decorative items for dresses, etc. Dozens of rolls of cotton, embroidery silk, tapes and ribbons.

 Lots more jigsaw puzzles. Her exam results at school. Boxes of assorted photos. Greetings cards. Rolls of wallpaper. Including for the kitchen. Which we mysteriously ran out of and never finished! Lots of lengths and odd bits of wood. A dozen poster tubes. Very long and short, drinking straws. Unused beach bags with wooden handles. Decorative shelving and hall coat racks.

 Half the living room floor is now full. As well as half the attic. Lots for the charity shops. Very little to discard. Mostly paper and old carrier bags. The boxes of books will have to go back behind her bed. There is still no obvious way to get rid of them. 

 16.45 65F. 63F indoors. Grey, cooler and windy. Just woke from a much needed nap. I could not stay awake at the computer. Then could not sleep when I lay down. I need to shop but need a coop for particular items. There isn't a local branch. Tomorrow would probably do. 

 Now I really have to tidy up. Or fill the car up with charity donation stuff. It is too late for the charity shops now. They will all be closing. No reason not to load the car. 

 I concentrated on tidying the bedroom. Enough space to drag the tallboy upstairs. It fitted perfectly beside the window. There will be even more room when I fit the smaller window.  I have commandeered the upper drawers for my most used clothes. T-shirts, socks and pants. The lower drawers will become available when I have sorted the contents.

 I still have to dispose of an empty chest of two drawers. I may be able to use it somewhere. I am already fed up with tubs lying on the floor. Drawers make far more sense.

 Dinner will be cod in breadcrumbs. Or is it batter? With diced, boiled, unpeeled, new potatoes and tinned, chopped tomatoes.

20.00 60F. Dinner was absolutely delicious and perfectly cooked. 😋

~~

21.07.2022 32 Miles.

 ~~

 Thursday 21st 64F [at 06.55] Slightly misty. A cooler day is promised. Maxing at 25C. The sky is white and without definition. It sounds as if the harvesting and bailing are continuing just out of sight.

 Up at 6.15. I slept on the mattress on the floor in the lounge again. Even though it matched the temperature, at 79F upstairs, it felt much cooler downstairs. I left the greenhouse doors open to be rid of as much heat as possible overnight. Before another warm day adds its heat load. The already warm, southerly wall would conduct more unwanted heat into the downstairs interior. 

 I should seriously consider having a bed downstairs in the longer term. To replace the missing 3-seater settee. Which had to be sawn up to bring in the hospital bed for my wife's last week. A lounge bed would become the summer bed. Getting one of our 26 year-old, coil spring beds downstairs would be a major feat. Both base and mattress each weigh a ton! Such a bed doesn't make a suitable settee. Far too high with the mattress in place. I can't remember how the base feels on its own.

 A convertible bed/settee in the lounge would be much more sensible. If a comfortable example can be found. Not yet, as I have just been battered by the taxation authorities. While simultaneously losing my wife's pensions. The car is due for its safety check next month. This has been costing an average of £2k for repairs to get through the last few tests. It is from 1996 and looks it.

  It is 80F upstairs and I am sweating. Time for a walk.

 18.30 70F outside. 80F upstairs. I had left at about 11.00 to ride to a former contact 17 miles away. I stayed there until about four and then rode home by a slightly shorter route but into a gusty gale. A total of 32 miles.

 I had a banana, an apple and a choccy bar on the way home. Washed down with a small carton of apple juice. At home I had a cup of tea, a marmalade on bread roll and the last of the bananas and custard. My sister had made the latter for me. To show me how to make custard. Very refreshing it was too. Coming straight from the fridge. I shan't be in a hurry for dinner.

 After months and months of 93Mbps internet [instead of the 200Mbps I pay for]  I have just tested it at 330Mbps! I reset the router and it has dropped back to 93Mbps! 😭

~~

20.07.2022 Far too hot! 95F/35C!

 ~~

 Wednesday 20th 67F [at 06.30] Bright and breezy. A potentially record hot day reaching 35C / 95F.

 Up at 5.45. It was still 82F upstairs at bedtime last night. So I dragged a folding foam mattress downstairs and slept on the floor in the lounge. It wasn't too bad and I slept after a couple of trips to the bathroom.

 I slipped a couple of cushions under the head of the mattress. To simulate my own bed. It felt as if I was head down until then. I presume my own bed has sunk in the middle after 26 years of continuous use. The mattress now feels more natural compared with a perfectly flat one. My Ikea over-mattress helped to soften the firmness of the sponge. 

 Temperature records for Denmark are expected to tumble today. Much as they have all over Europe. I shall be at the farm museum today. So I am hoping for an indoor job. I don't like high temperatures. Particularly when exposed to the sun. I haven't found a suitable sun hat yet. My usual baseball cap is far too hot!

 My family visitors are heading south into even higher temperatures today. Their plan is to take the ferry. Then shelter in the air conditioned, mega-shopping centres around the German order. Until temperatures drop back to more normal levels.

 7.45 72F. I've had a gentle, half hour. early walk. It is already warm despite the SE breeze. I've had a shower and am readying myself for the day ahead. Luckily I found an old, fawn, baseball cap from years ago. Which will hopefully be cooler. It was no fun yesterday choosing between a hot head and a hot cap. With far higher temperatures, I do not expect it to be very pleasant outdoors today. 

 Many crops are still standing and there is an ongoing drought. One wonders whether Denmark will have wildfires like many other countries.

 14.20 I am just back from the museum after helping with two guided tours in English. Handy for the Dutch. Whose English is often very good but Danish a foreign tongue. 

 I also cleared an old mill stream of weeds early on. I had a free choice of countless, antique hand tools. All this was safely managed in the shed of the giant trees with eater levels down to a trickle. Then I was asked to scrub the liken from the granite horse trough and its big wooden, hand cranked pump. Coming back outside, from the cool indoor rooms into bright sunshine, was a real shock every time.

 The outside thermometer at home is now showing 95F /35C in the shade. It is 88F/31C upstairs. Far too hot to sit there. So I am retiring downstairs to rest in the much more pleasant 78F/26C. The outside heat is supposed to increase as the afternoon wears on. 

 16.00 After lunch I lay down on the mattress on the lounge floor. Where I must have slept for about three quarters of an hour. It has reached 90F in the open upstairs space but outside temperatures are falling. About 91F at present. I have opened opposite dormer windows to try and purge the heat. 

 Meanwhile, the greenhouse is showing 95F despite both end doors being wide open to the strong, SE wind. While the lounge is still a quite pleasant 78F. Ideal for sitting about in just my shorts. 

 I am using the laptop on the dining table to save being baked at the PC upstairs. Though I have borrowed the PC mouse rather than using the laptop's touch pad. The kitchen shows 90F and the 'fridge can be heard working much harder than usual.

 Climbing the stairs is a perfect example of thermal stratification. The exact reverse of walking down a beach into cold water. The heat layer can be easily felt. Starting from one's head and moving on downwards with each step gained in height. Once on the landing it is stiflingly hot!

 I have had to knot the curtains because the wind is blowing them straight in horizontally. Though I still hold out very little hope of it becoming comfortable as a bedroom tonight. The roof and thick Rockwool insulation will hold onto their stored heat. 

 17.00 90/91F Indoors upstairs/ and outside. Afternoon tea. I substituted an apple for the usual toasted roll. Just helping to keep up my fluid intake. I am drinking a little water and apple juice at intervals. As is advised for surviving high temperatures. I can feel the outside heat penetrating. As I pass a northerly window in the lounge.

 Now I have been told by the bereavement court to have an estate agent value the house. The local estate agent [from a national chain] couldn't manage it before next Tuesday. The house has not changed in rateable value in the 26 years since we bought it. Some local homes have been up for sale for many years. Usually without ever being sold. Some finally went only by forced auction!

 Dinner was cheese on toast with sliced, plum tomatoes. Plus half a tin of tomato soup. All washed down with a half can of organic beer. Just for extra fluids. It is intolerably hot up here at the computer despite both dormer windows being wide open. There is only a breath of wind.

 19.50 82F. [87F in the bedroom] I have taken the bin along for emptying. The heat of the setting sun was unbelievable. I took more pictures of my wife's flower garden after seeing new flowers had arrived. I hope you value my efforts for sitting here in these temperatures.

20.00 81F outside. 86.5F upstairs.  Time to go back downstairs before I melt. Where it is still 79F!

~~

19.07.2022 A bit too hot!

 ~~

Tuesday 19th 59F. Bright but whitish sky. 30F promised for this afternoon. Up at 5.45 after a restless night. Time for an early shower before a local shopping trip. 

9.00 71F. Morning coffee. 

The day was spent chatting. A nice outdoor lunch in Assens. While dodging the hot sunshine under huge umbrellas. We parked at the harbour. Then walked the length of the high street on the shady side.

 We chatted family chat until bedtime.

~~

18.07.2022 Having a good, long chat.

 ~~

 Monday 18th 59F. Overcast with light rain early on. Up at 6.15 with a mild hangover.

 It was great to hear about all the things the family members have been up to. The ability to chat for hours in English was wonderfully therapeutic. I haven't had a chance to discuss my late wife, face to face, in English until now.

 Though it did seem rather odd at times. To be showing them the very things I had discussed endlessly on my blog. Getting things off my chest is a valuable step forwards to recovery from such a huge loss. All the things which would go unsaid to a stranger or professional. Or even on the blog. Can be aired and handled in a safe and sympathetic environment. The feedback is essential to bring some sense of normality. Having a team to deal with my many problems is extremely valuable.

 My isolation has reinforced certain ideas. Which were not beneficial to recovery. Airing these and hearing their opinions. Has helped to bring a far better sense of balance. It is still too early to make any major decisions. I must take onboard some painful strategies. In order to avoid sinking into depression and apathy. I could already feel these negative changes in my recent behaviour.

 The days at the farm museum were a great boost to my moral. Yet I still had to go home and face the awful reality of being completely alone. In an unkempt house. Still full of many of Her belongings. All the memories. Alone for the very first time in my long life. 

 Still wracked with guilt over the long decades of my less than perfect behaviour. She deserved far better. Yet such thoughts and loyalty to her memory. Tie me to all the things which must eventually be disposed of. How to do so? While maintaining my undying respect. For her kindness and companionship through thick and thin. 

 Her selfless support, generosity and forgiveness. Beyond anything I myself deserved. I cannot undo the many disappointments I must have caused her. Yet must learn to forgive myself. If I am to move on. I cannot have my cake and eat it. She is gone. It would be pointless to wallow in pity and self pity. 

 My anger at her unexpected loss. Drove my early efforts to release her things back into the recycling system. Everything which could be easily channelled into charitable donations has been done. Now comes the hard part. Disposing of the inevitable detritus of her storing away anything potentially useful. All those little things she randomly collected over many years. She could turn many things into free pots for her garden seeds. Or could tie and support her plants and flowers. She was the epitome of recycling. 

 Unfortunately my home's situation does not lend itself to a private flea market. Something, she herself suggested. There is no parking space and vehicular access is long and narrow. Flea markets are incredibly inefficient at getting rid of things.

 Online small ads in Denmark are fixed price. There is no bidding to find a market value. Not like there is on eBay. Which all but cripples the system as far as I am concerned. Pitch your prices too high and you have already lost most potential buyers. Who may only want to mark up the goods for a quick profit. Too low and you might as well bin everything. The postage and advertising charges will rob you of any likely gains. 

 No walk today. So I have moved all my wife's pots to the bottom of the garden. Down behind the chestnut stump. Tipping out the soil onto the bare ground. To give any plants one last chance to show themselves. Then I can cut the long grass. Which has sprouted where they have lain untidily. In front of her "busy" flower bed.

 18.30. A day of endless talking. Reminiscing over our familiar childhoods and maturity into adulthood. Our very different viewpoints of the same events and characters. Filling in the missing details. All the myriad, little things we remember as individuals. Though rarely shared as mutual experiences. They each shaped us to become what we are. For good or bad.

 The forecast is for 35C on Wednesday. When I am due back at the farm museum. Perhaps I can get a voluntary job indoors. My family visitors will be staying tomorrow. Then moving on to warmer climes. I hope their heat tolerance is far better than mine!

 

~~

17.07.2022 The visitors have arrived!

 ~~

 Sunday 17th 53F, overcast. A cloudy day is promised. The heatwave is heading north towards Denmark.  Up at 6am. 

 7.00 Tidying until it was time to:
 8.00 Shopping instead of a walk.
 9.00 In the observatory but it is too cloudy. 

 11.25 68F. Still tidying, cleaning, dusting, vacuuming and cleaning windows.

 12.00 Ant killing powder from the builder's merchants doesn't work. They are thriving on it under the brick floor in the greenhouse! 

 12.30 I have just finished cleaning the curved, Plexiglas [?] shoulders of the greenhouse. All 22' of it. They had unsightly algae all over them. I used a plush window mop with water and a dash of washing up liquid first. Just too loosen up the dirt and algae. Followed by a washing up brush to gently scrub away the algae. A final squeegee removed the water and left the surface clean. There seemed to be no obvious damage from using the brush.

 My family visitors have arrived. There was well over decade of catching up to do. The bonus was having dinner cooked for me and the washing up done. With free red wine and some cooking tips thrown in. 😊

  ~~

16.07.2022 Tory beer parties to combat record temperatures.

 ~~

 Saturday 16th 51F. Bright and breezy start. With orange clouds racing across from the NW. It rained overnight. So it was lucky I took my socks in.

 Up at 4.45am after a sleepless night. I was too cold with only a single sheet and then with a duvet cover. Too hot with my lightest duvet. Back to the duvet cover for its double thickness. It was 72F indoors at bedtime. Still 70F now. [05.30] 

 Record high temperatures: Red warnings for the UK. 40C or 104F!

  These extreme temperatures were only a tentative forecast for 2050! It is just 2022. £42.5 billion to save us from Pootin and Sly? What are you clowns doing about saving us from YOUR global warming? Holding illegal, Tory beer parties with clowned crowned mugs?  

 Did the self-important clowns mention the climate in their rehearsed TV photo op? Or was it the same-old, worn out, rehearsed to death: "My tax cuts are deeper than your tax cuts!"

 6.15. Breakfast over. Time for a walk.

 7.15 56F. 35 minutes in a cool breeze walking to the lanes and back. Too early for any traffic. 

 Last chance. I have to do some serious indoor tidying today.

 8.00 I started imaging the sun in the observatory until it clouded over. 

 9.30 59F. Overcast.  I was perched 20' up a ladder. Cutting back branches. Which were overhanging and touching the shed roof. The B&D Alligator is a perfect tool for this job. Far safer than a normal chainsaw.

 When am I going to start tidying indoors? After I have cleaned some windows.

10.20 61F.  Cleaned for probably the first time in 20 years. Since I first fitted the recycled windows. Working alone from an ordinary ladder. Two ladders lashed end to end to reach the very top.

 There was never any point in risking my life before now. The glass in the gable end was entirely covered in thick curtains from top to floor. The Japanese, tripod ladder provides safe support at such high altitudes. All thanks to the very wide, splayed base and stiff, geometrical structure.

The plywood visible inside the windows is to protect the glass from clumsy ladder movements. As I pretend to clad the sloping ceilings in woodwool-cement boards.

 17.00 I am enjoying afternoon tea. After a couple of hours of sorting through chests of drawers. I have discovered enough seeds [in packets] to easily fill a large domestic bucket. 

 It was one of the last things I remember my wife doing before she went into hospital. She was sorting through her seeds. She burst into tears and said that she just wanted to see her flowers again.

 Alas it was not to be. Her flowers took much longer to appear than she had time left on this earth. New blooms are still appearing now. The gorgeous rose, which I dead-headed, has burst into new growth.  

 20.00 59F.  I had to do yesterday's washing up to be able to have dinner.  Dinner was supposed to be cheese on toast but the bread was mouldy again. A whole loaf wasted! So I followed my culinary consultant's advice and baked some fish fingers. As promised, they were better than fried. I added the usual tomatoes and beans. With a bread roll to soak up the juice. My TZ7 camera was in the observatory. So I used the Lumix G9 with the Leica 12-60mm. For the product placement shot. How else will I remember what I have eaten?

~~