17 Mar 2016

17th March 2016 "Smile please!" [Happiest land.]


Thursday 17th, 29F, -2C, calm, another hard, white frost under sunny skies. An early appointment at the sheep shearers. I just tried to sell my fallen, golden-grey locks but they said the wool market is already depressed enough. I think I may have discovered the reason for the Danes being voted the world's happiest people: They do literally everything one-handed. Driving, working, walking, jogging, sleeping, lighting fires, standing, operating machinery and cycling are all effortlessly managed with only one hand. Since no Dane has independently invented the hands-free 'phone the default 50 years waiting time for device acceptance applies under Janteloven: Jante Law [Paras 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 & 9. etc.]

Just in case you ever see a Danish building worker without a mobile phone in hand the Guinness Book of Records is waiting anxiously for your call. Proving that every Danish lorry driver is also using his hand held mobile phone may prove slightly more difficult. Now remember, children, you may not use photos or videos to show criminality in Denmark. It is you who will end up in court. Not the "criminal". This is probably also true even if you video a terrorist massacre of innocent civilians. You might just "innocently" catch the "perps" in their murderous action and that would clearly be illegal. Don't forget to ask the permission of all the terrorist victims to film them in a public place or on private property. In a recent case the police used illegally gathered imagery from badly [and obviously illegally] trained security cameras. Shops, for example, may not have cameras outside their premises or where they might catch passing traffic or pedestrians. One wonders whether the police who viewed the footage, or businesses which supplied the incriminating "evidence" were subsequently prosecuted?

Imagine if I had been wearing my action camera when the "village idiots" in the car endangered and assaulted me with the contents of their ash tray. I would have been prosecuted for posting the incriminating video evidence on YouTube! Imagine if I had simply published their registration plate details on my blog? I would probably be imprisoned while they looked into MY criminal activity with an unlicensed [assault] camera. Only in Denmark. 7 miles, and counting...


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