8.11.2022 Contrasts.

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 Tuesday 8th 52F. Night time temperatures continue unusually mild. Up at 5.40.

  The image I shared yesterday of the new white board, high on the wall, was quite a shock. The contrast with the cement grey below was truly startling. As was the darkness of the pine boarded ceiling. All the white paint I have used to bring the light into the former semi-darkness has not been wasted. 

 The pity is that my late wife never enjoyed the huge increase in natural light levels indoors. She, herself, compounded the overall darkness by adding curtains over glazed doors. Doors, bought deliberately to bring light into dark areas.

 Her semi-transparent tarpaulins stapled over windows soon darkened with age and UV. While simultaneously denying her a view of her own garden and the countryside. I cannot undo any of this for her. Now that she has gone. Only wallow in the deep sadness. That she became so resentful of my efforts to change or improve anything. 

 Some of it was her hiding from a series of incredibly nasty neighbours. My wife must have developed a defensive strategy. To literally hide from perceived vulnerability to these evil, racist "peasants." Her towering hedges and trees were her impenetrable walls and completely untouchable by me.

 The "blinding" of the house to the views of her tormentors. The shouted, implied threats and obscenities. The flying air rifle pellets. Which she collected from the greenhouse gutter as potential evidence. The dead birds left at our gates. The tractor spray bar deliberately placed for several minutes over her boundary hedges growing from tiny cuttings. So that they twisted and writhed on their way to reaching their full stature. 

  A racist sculpture erected by one of our peasant neighbours to celebrate his 30th year. He played  the system for years with "a bad back." It was often so painful that he had no problem lifting two full crates of beer simultaneously.  

 FUCK GB and FUCK UK are clearly aimed at the only "foreigners" in the neighbourhood. My wife was Swedish with a Danish mother.

 Then there were the constantly padlocked, double gates on our drive. Which I had to build. To stop their free-range dogs from coming into our garden and threatening us. To stop their offspring from entering our garden. To prevent them from stealing her flowers. From her carefully tended garden. Or their dragging toddlers, from their extended family, to our garden pond. Each carrying a handful of her flowers. When caught red-handed on our return one day.

 Then there were the years and years and years of chainsawing firewood for their extended family. Only a few yards from our windows. On ground which did not even belong to them but was borrowed from another neighbour. 

 I had the luxury of going to work each day to get away from it. My wife had to put up with the constant noise. They even left their tractor running right beside the boundary hedge. While they went in to watch football on TV all afternoon. Trailers full of split logs constantly went off down the drive. So the racket wasn't just for their vintage water heater. Which regularly filled our house with acrid smoke. Year round, if the wind was in the wrong direction. We were rarely able to open our windows in heatwaves.

 There was the time they went on holiday and left several imported dogs in a cage outside. So that they barked constantly for a fortnight. All day and all night. 14x24. Only yards from our windows. Including the bedroom window which faced their way. 

 These assorted "peasants" have all moved onwards and downwards economically, towards their maker. Some of them taking their abused and abusive, now grown-up offspring with them. 

 We now have only kind and friendly neighbours. Alas, a month too late for my poor, dear wife. Who would finally have had somebody intelligent to talk to. For the first time in 26 years. Instead of nobody at all, except me.

 7.45 Time for a walk. Overcast but much lighter winds.

 9.02. The cloud tried to break up during my brisk walk to the lanes. A brown bird of prey was heading my way as it rose over a tree but quickly turned away. To circle around me. It was ignored by the crows flying in the same direction just above it. I have to shop again today. Or there will be no lunch and a rather poor dinner.

 11.30 Shopping done. 

 I have marked the taper. Then jig-sawed and planed the bottom edge of the double board and glued them back together again. Multiple F-clamps are keeping the joint tight. Meanwhile, I should clear away the furniture from that wall. So I can prime and paint the wall without obstruction.

 13.15 Lunch over. I have removed all the furniture from the south wall of the lounge. The shutter boards in the window reveals were all riddled with woodworm. So they had to come out and be disposed of. 

 The whole wall is really quite rough. As are the window reveals. I am going to have to render it all with sand and cement. It is too rough simply for painting. So I might as well build up the recessed areas at the top too. Then I can hopefully do without the 20cm/8" deep board below the ceiling. Perhaps a 4" board will be enough. Just to hide the ugly woodwork.

 I have mislaid my plasterer's rectangular trowel. So I might as well go and buy a new one with more bags of fine sand and cement mix. I also have to render the recesses in the front hall wall beside the meter and fuse box. [Consumer unit.] Some PVA primer might be an good idea.

  18.00 Returned from the shops in the dark. Trowels, primer and more render [fine sand & cement.] I can't find my flood lamp or even the bright LED light from the hall. I have searched but haven't a clue where they might be.

 Dinner was fish fingers. With mushrooms and tinned tomatoes.

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