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I also removed the small table which was standing [cluttered] against the filing cabinet for decades. The table has gone down to the kitchen as a temporary surface for dumping shopping. It is too low and too small. So will have to be replaced.
The kitchen will have to be totally redesigned. Now that I am in charge. I'll get rid of the knackered, old, electric cooker and probably have a hob. I can use the mini oven in place of a full cooker.
The builder is supposed to be calling today. Two weeks after I contacted him and he promised a next day visit. He is supposed to look at the bedroom window and give me an estimate for replacement. The window is ridiculously oversized and single glazed. So it has rattled in the wind and run with condensation since we bought the place.
No seals either. So it was draughty until I sealed it with silicone. My wife would not let me replace it myself. So it has been bugging me for over 20 years. I could replace it myself now. Though lifting such a large and heavy item is not for 75-year-olds working from a single ladder. Though I have done such daft things in the past. I ought to make another effort at tidying the bedroom. In case the builder wants to look indoors.
I met a neighbour in the village yesterday and tried to talk about my wife. I ended up with tears streaming down my face and had to leave. I am seeing the doctor tomorrow for a chat on my progress. I have just realised that I haven't had any stomach pains this morning. I had cod in batter with organic peas for dinner last light. Perhaps the yogurt at lunchtime helped as well?
6am. I am struggling to build any relationship with my wife's urn. I keep looking over at it and expecting something else. No idea what else that might be. I have tried talking to it but there is simply nothing comforting about it. It was easier talking to the empty house. I could [half] pretend that She was still here. Now she isn't. I had better have breakfast.
The builder failed to turn up, again. If the idiot can't be be bothered to assess the job. Then what chance is there of him actually turning up for work? Twice bitten..
The need to tidy the bedroom resulted in major progress on my everyday clothing. All now boxed in tubs.
I took another full trailer to the recycling yard this morning. Then went in search of a new home for some of my wife's old Danish books. A village book shop took three boxes. A supporting shop, for a historical tile factory museum, took four more boxes. That gives me a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling inside. At least her books didn't go to be burnt. There's a pun in there somewhere.
There is still another row of boxes, probably containing books, beside my wife's bed. I can't reach them yet.
I missed my chance to make a little money on my vinyl collection. I took them to the charity container at the recycling yard. The bookshop owner said he would probably have bought them. Never mind. They have gone now.
After a short, mid afternoon nap I spent some time trying to image the sun. The software was broken. I had to do a screen grab and lost detail after cropping. There is an amazing cluster of large sunspots at the moment.
Going health freak again for dinner: Salmon pasty in flaky pastry, organic lettuce, cucumber and tomatoes. All washed down with a small tin of organic beer. I keep having to throw food away. Because I'm not using it before the sell by date. Things are going mouldy green in the fridge before I notice them.
I have moved my wife's urn onto her tall boy, chest of drawers. She may be more comfortable up there. I keep having flashes of memory from our past. Trivial things one wouldn't have thought I would remember.
Despite my doubts I did remember to take the green recycling dustbin 100 metres along the drive. To where they tip it into the lorry early in the morning. Doctor's appointment tomorrow. My gnawing stomach ache really seems to have gone now. An early shower would be a good idea. Not much danger of my oversleeping!
I have had some very kind messages of sympathy from complete strangers on the forums I visit. Family members are still keeping in touch by email. It is still too early to talk on the phone. I'll only start blubbing.
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