8th July 2019 Denmark has a Consumer Ombudsman?

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Monday 8th 57-63F and a bright start, but a bit breezy. I walked to the lanes and beyond to try and capture the familiar landscape in a different light. The camera tries to make everything too dark when it is pointing straight into the early sun. So I hid under an oak for some shade.

I was treated to a close view of a harrier hunting along the hedges without much obvious concern for my presence.

Just saw a news story about an online app which did not list all the hidden extra charges for [supposedly] discount hotel reservations. This was described as "false advertising" by the Danish Consumer Ombudsman. I didn't know Denmark had an ombudsman! Nor any other kind of consumer protection. [At all!] Perhaps it was fake news?

Or, perhaps they have just started in a brand new job this week? Paint still wet in the new-build, palatial offices in a prime location? With sprawling, landscaped grounds all carefully manicured? Spacious private offices, strewn with tasteless, original, Danish modern daubs and hideously embarrassing, childish sculptures?

All tastefully furnished with only the very best in Danish architect designed furniture. Like £1000 plastic, canteen chairs. You can't blame them though. They are all at it from newly appointed government ministers spending large fortunes on their [always temporary] private offices. And on downwards in the pecking order of "entitlement." My own bosses used to steal paper and pens for their kids at home so Gravely Blighted isn't totally innocent when it comes to [stealth] corruption.

I wonder if we'll ever hear an ombudsman's report about the Danish, big shed, big chain, white goods and electronics retailers? Businesses which routinely slap hundreds of pounds [in Kroner equivalent] on top of the advertised, online prices on their sophisticated, interactive, sales websites. Which charges are completely hidden until the customer turns up to collect their purchased or reserved goods.

And, are then bullied into paying £150 extra just for a Windows 10 installation on PCs and laptops! Or, going all the way home empty handed. I kid you not! This is normal practice at one of the vast retailer chains in the nearest city in my own direct experience. Without consumer protection these illegal charges ought to come under European consumer law. Even if there is no such thing in Denmark.

If a pure bred Dane does not invent something independently, then Denmark must wait until they do. It is Jante's Law. Which means Denmark must wait for a pure bred Dane to invent the electric car. Before Danes can buy them at three times the price they sell for elsewhere. Or, wait for a pure bred Dane to invent consumer protection.

Or, what about adding an extra £150 [equivalent] for supposed checks and calibration on sealed, factory-fresh TVs? Or having only ex-demo stock when you arrive at the other big store across the road? Despite claiming specific stock levels [5 or more] on their sophisticated, interactive, sales websites. How is that possible when you made your reservation to purchase just before getting into the car to go and collect it? They claimed a special offer of end of season models. Not bløødy ex-demo!

Why are so many of the Danish, online sales websites of white goods identical? No competition? Where's St. Margrethe Vestager when you really need her? She could become the very first consumer affairs minister for Denmark and make daily headlines as she cleaned up this whole sordid mess. 

False advertising? Don't even get me started on the completely routine, Danish supermarket's, dirty tricks to entice customers into their stores. With empty claims of special offers, every single week, which never, ever arrive. Two chains are infamous for this practice and the others aren't exactly innocent.

Different prices at the checkouts from the advertised prices in the weekly "special offer" comics. Emphasis on fictional and having nothing to do with reality! Then there's Danish supermarket advertising double-speak. Where "several varieties" in their printed "offers" comic means only one variety and that was [supposedly] sold before the shop even opened. Even though you were waiting outside for them to open and nobody came or went through the locked doors. Then, absolutely consistently, the fictitious "special offers" are all back on the previously empty shelves as soon as the prices return to normal. It brings a whole new meaning to "box shifting."

All this would mean heavy fines in the UK but has been routine business practice for years in Denmark. All these businesses would be facing a court in Gravely Blighted. Where they have had consumer protection for decades. All you'd have to do over there is to get in touch with the Local Trading Standards Office. Denmark's retail mafia, quite obviously, need fear no such intrusion into their daily, very questionable, business practices.

Another favourite, Danish, online sales trick is to claim stock in a "remote" warehouse but at slightly lower prices than true stockists. But, surprisingly, the item is still available with their usual promise of 2-3 days delivery as you place your order. It's just that every time you order anything online from these same online retailers the "remote" stock is a wholesaler, or importer. One with no stock and a 6 day delivery service for the underachieving, box-shifting liars whom you ordered from!

The trick works every time because they only send you a confirmation [i.e. pre-printed] form email stating the doubling of delivery time AFTER you have confirmed your order and paid! If you had ordered from a business with physical stock on their premises you could have had it by next day! Then they have the nerve to send you another standard [pre-printed] form email asking you to judge their performance online. Because "service is at the very top of their sales drive." How do you spell "krooks" in Danish? I must look it up sometime.

A 7 mile round trip to the shops in breezy conditions with not a lot of sunshine. Still going surprisingly well for an [occasionally] angry, old fart.

Click on any image for an enlargement.

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