30th October 2017 Practice makes perfect?

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Monday 30th 33-43F, 1-6C, calm and bright with white frost on the grass. Fortunately the massive flooding over north Fyn never quite reached the heights of the dire forecasts. Better to be prepared than not.

A gorgeous sunny morning though a little cool on bare hands. I walked up to a local high point to capture the unusually clear views of the landscape. The green blush of the immature crops provides a nicely decorative touch to the drab earth. Autumn colours lift the normally dark uniformity of the trees and woods. Another beautiful day without a ride.

Tuesday 31st 45-49F, 7-9C,  rather grey at times with rare sunny periods. Almost no wind. Had a longer walk up to the woods for an hour and half. The first bird I saw, apart from the dozen or more nutty blackbirds was a large bird of prey. Then I saw a very large heron land beyond a hump in a field and thought it was a stork. I never saw it again so could not confirm its identity.

A small robin lay dead by the verge. I doubt we see one robin per year over here. Back in Gravely Blighted we had robins feeding from our hands in the garden and standing on our gardening tools. Their tinkling song was constantly in the background in the countryside.

While I was up on the ridge this morning a whining tractor went along the road at the bottom of the hill. It was odd to hear it at intervals where there were breaks in the hedges or landscape until it was probably a good couple of miles away. The autumn leaf fall and bare fields have revealed new vistas and alignments.

The Head Gardener and the tricycling clown have now been officially married for 50 years. Nobody gave us a chance of ever staying together because we never stopped arguing right from the very beginning. We are still arguing and still together. Practice makes perfect?

A tour to the more distant shops. Gentle crosswind going at 16mph. More of a headwind building on the way back. Rather cool on the way. Overdressed on the way back. Progress is happening on the new stretches of cycle path but still no asphalt. I'm wondering if the powers that be are reading my blog. They have been filling in the potholes I complained about last week. The regular ponds on the new road and cycle path have now been drained.  Still no progress on the excavation on the new cycle path. It must be two years since they put down a plastic mat and two marker poles over the hole. Let's see if they are gone next time. Only 14 miles.

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27 October 2017 Cash cows to fund major navy expansion!

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Friday 27th, 48-54F, dark. Very, very dark. Walked for an hour and half through the very damp woods. Not a bad forecast today, though windy. A storm is promised for the weekend. Today wasn't a bad day but I was too busy for a ride.

McSlobs have spent billions perfecting their litter and it shows.[Everywhere!]

Saturday 28th 50-54F, 10-12C, overcast with a storm on the way for the early hours of Sunday. We could see gusts of 30m/s or 65mph from the north west. This is our most sheltered wind direction provided the trees stay standing. It has been very wet of late and that makes them vulnerable. Our largest tree, a vast, multi-stemmed willow is still in leaf. Today is less windy with showers and gusting to nearly 40mph.

The Danish government has announced that 11 speed cameras are to be erected on known, dangerous, main roads. I think it is safe to assume that orders for a further two Dreadnought class, coal-fired battleships have already been placed on the expectation of rich pickings from the countless <cough> cash cow victims.

As the vast profits become  regularly available [from more helpless victims] I would expect a full nuclear deterrent to be next on the Gov.dk shopping list. News of orders for several, coal-fired, nuclear-armed submarines are very likely to follow. This is provided, of course, that enough North Korean slaves can still be mustered for the Polish shipyards. Should be no problem following more idle threats of sanctions against the Kim cult's ugly leader.

Halloween cat, trick-or-treating field mice. Though strictly speaking it doesn't exist until a Dane independently invents Halloween under Janteloven rules.

The rigid Jante's Law prevents Denmark from having a cocaine-powered nuclear deterrent. Unlike the UK which has no such qualms. Do you suppose they all had to snort simultaneously in the interests of security? Denmark must wait until a pure bred Dane independently invents the technology. However, all of this assumes that the entire wealth of the country is not simply handed over to some offshore crook in the form of completely false, VAT repayments.

A sudden sharp shower delayed my walk by moments but it stopped just as abruptly. Rather cool in the gusty wind under grey and threatening skies. Much the same for my afternoon ride but, yet again, it stayed dry. Only 7 miles.

Sunday 29th 44F, 7C, dark, cloudy with showers and strong gusts. Thanks to its unusual, NW-northerly orientation the overnight storm went all but unnoticed. It is just getting light enough now at 7.50 CET [6.50 Winter Time] to see the trees against the leaden sky. We seem to have avoided any visible damage.

A good day for proving the reality of wind chill as I pressed against the headwind on my way to the village, eyes watering and my hands deep in my jacket pockets. It felt rather like reaching 30mph when descending a local hill. Unfortunately I forgot to take my pocket anemometer so have no solid data on wind speeds. A large, grey shrew dashed across the lane in front of me. With its legs moving too fast to see clearly.

Coming home provided a little extra impetus on the climb as the trees roared overhead with a distinct chill at my back. There was plenty of evidence of the storm in small twigs and leaves lying everywhere but no obvious structural damage. It is clearing to sunshine now with the wind slowly dying down. The leaf rake will get some serious exercise this morning. Provided, that is, the Head Gardener allows it to be booked out against my signature and duplicate proof of identity. Which were subsequently denied.

Far too windy for cycling today despite glorious sunshine. There is talk of very serious flooding due to the huge water mass being pressed onto North Fyn coasts and estuaries by this morning's storm Ingolf. 1.8 meters [6'] is being called a once in a century flood. Thanks to comprehensive online mapping I was able to select the effects of 1.8 meters flooding due to climate change. A shockingly large area could be affected including parts of Odense, Bogense and Nyborg. Odense is the major city on mid-north Fyn and has an estuary, ship canal and harbour.  

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23rd October 2017 Flower power.

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Monday 23rd 49F, 9C, heavy grey overcast with light winds. Rain promised for this morning but brightening later. A grey walk expecting rain. It never did. So I could have gone out. Any mention of sunshine was a complete exaggeration.

Just for a change: Here's one from the Head Gardener.
For Dave, my gardening brother:

Tuesday 24th 51F, 11C, light winds and heavy overcast. I was already spitting with rain as I left the house and continued to increase as I walked the quiet lanes. The forecast is for two days of rain or showers. I worked outside all morning before it turned very wet after lunch.

Wednesday 25th 56F, 13C. Heavy overcast, windy and wet. Copenhagen cyclists are complaining about the lack of cycle parking facilities. It was so wet I went shopping in the car.

Thursday 26th 51F, heavy overcast, breezy from the west. The cloud was breaking up enough to show blue patches but still no sunshine. Walked to the village and back. A large bird of prey went low overhead in a beeline for the church trees but became tangled in restless mink gulls and aggressive jackdaws. A small black cat was hunting on an overgrown lawn. It drew itself up and pounced but was disappointed.

Wot's your empty lane like for your morning walk?

The BBC News has a short video about the police monitoring the 1.5m [5'] minimum overtaking clearance from cyclists. Yeah, right! Most drivers thought the minimum distance was less than 6" provided it did not involve damage to their precious paint. Besides the mirrors fold back when you hit cyclists hard enough.

I can well remember posts on one online discussion forum. Where the cavemen drivers objected to the projecting, orange 'lollipops' some cyclists used to warn drivers against getting too close. Some drivers saw these as a direct affront to their basic human rights to own the road. Red rags to a bull, it was!

Can you even imagine if driver-free cars become the norm? One should never use the term driver-less because it suggests that drivers are somehow as remotely as good at driving as the machines. They'd definitely have to have an override button for the robot drivers. Just to avoid many drivers having a complete meltdown if the car would not immediately overtake to push every impeding cyclist right off the road.

It has never failed to amaze me how many human beings are still being allowed to drive. In "real life" they can barely function adequately. Yet they are still allowed behind the wheel of a car to perform  parallel processing, multitasking, have lightning reaction times, show constant high levels of concentration and terrifyingly acute observation skills.

Driving is, quite literally, one of the most demanding tests of human performance if done properly. Yet, almost anybody can get and keep a driving license to perform this supremely advanced skill,  almost at will.

So astonishingly competent are they at these incredibly demanding and taxing tests of ability that they can even smoke, eat, text, talk and read. While simultaneously and completely safely, exceeding local speed limits, often by 50-100%. The human race really is utterly amazing! We are so incredibly lucky there are no deaths or injuries on the roads. All because the entire human population is able to drive with such absolute levels of perfection. Even when drunk, drugged, registered blind, tired and totally, doolally senile. Mind that BIKE!

Just rode into town to collect a parcel. It was there yesterday according to Track and Trace but, as usual, no message from the Post Office. Unfortunately it went via what passes for the terminally ill and dying, Danish Post Office instead of the excellent GLS parcels service. So my journey was completely wasted.  Having spent another 12 minutes waiting, yet again, for Post Office customer services to answer their phone, they confirmed the parcel really was there. So now I get a a second ride. And did. 13 miles.

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