5 Sept 2016

5th September 2016 Confessions of an untidy 'doer.'

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Monday 5th. 58-69F, 14-21C, misty start soon burnt off when the sun rose. Walked a pleasant loop via lanes and a rare public footpath. Spent the rest of the day dragging junk off the old shelves and setting up new. There still seems to be an awful lot of junk to store. Though I found quite a lot of useful stuff I had mislaid over the years. I tried setting up the shelves closer together [vertically] but the considerably greater depth makes access much more difficult. So I went back to the standard spacing.

After reading the instructions properly I realised that they suggest two people are supposed to erect the shelving units. What doesn't kill you can still hurt! In fact I managed to stab my forearm on a sharp corner of the old shelving. But survived relatively unscathed as the Head Gardner applied tea-tree oil and a plaster. Along with the usual admonishments against semi-deliberate, self harm in the name of vanity and attention seeking.

As a morbidly untidy "junk" collector my lifelong trick was to endlessly search for things. This was [and still is] how I refreshed my limited memory banks of all the crap which fills every single corner of my life. I can identify the source of almost everything I own going back to my teens. Including several tubs full to the brim with small parts from terminal dismantling spread over decades. Only tunnel vision on the next project helps to keep me [fairly] sane. 

You would not believe how often I have struggled to fit the trike into my relatively huge [entirely home made] shed. 8'6" x 22' x 12'6 = 2.6m wide x 6.6m long x 3.8m high in new money. Bolted together almost entirely of 2x4s with star lock washers and clad in grooved plywood as a stressed skin reinforcement. 

I was going to have a half height bench with the new shelving until I discovered a top shelf and frame would fit over the top of my rarely used band saw. It was only rarely used because it was trapped against the original shelving on top of the useless chest of drawers. Now I have plenty of open bench space for the band saw and dirt cheap, decades old, Chinese pillar drill. The drawers are now on open shelves below. So now I finally have access to my [minimum of] 100+ different screwdrivers and 50 plus different pairs of pliers and a hundred different spanners not including several sockets sets.

When any job needed doing I could have paid somebody else to do it but could never afford it. Instead of which I bought the correct tools and did the job myself. So I needed to become plumber, car mechanic, carpenter, telescope maker and optician, electrician, audio equipment builder, furniture and kitchen maker, cycle mechanic, antique clock restorer, satellite dish erector, machinist, gardener, white goods repairer, etc.etc.etc.

The trike shed framing nears completion. The huge concrete pipe was used as a roller to compress the foundation gravel. The Head Gardener laid the foundations from found stones, boulders and gravel from the garden and then practiced her remarkable skills at dry stone walling on the retaining banks at left and rear.

I needed the correct tools and enough information not to be dangerous. This usually involved libraries and secondhand bookshops. Which meant that hundreds of text books were accumulated over the long years.

I highly tuned and rebuilt the engine and fitted a close ratio gearbox and new differential and flywheel on my first, rusty old car. That needed a piston ring compressor and valve spring lifter tools and huge sockets which I still have. I sold the car for the engine alone s a MOT failure. My second car was a complete rebuild of a small, GRP Mini-based sports kit car.  I did everything except body welding and my own MOTs over decades. Always on a tight budget I collected tools and spent literally man-years searching scrap yards and reading. I have never needed a bicycle shop's expensive skills for well over fifty years and counting. Much the same with cars until I grew too old and tired to crawl under them any more. Though I still have the several jacks and ramps of course.

Rebuilding our last two houses and repairing others required yet more tools.  I have wood planes from a few inches to nearly a yard long. Plough planes which helped to triple glaze a former home via secondary glazing window units made from bare wood. Two new roofs, lots of new floors, ceilings, windows, doors, plumbing, heating, heavy insulation, landscaping and building several sheds all required their own kit and ladders so I could always work alone. Often with the aid of the diminutive Head Gardener.

Landscaping involved literally digging our rural cottage out of a steep hillside to provide a large flat, outdoor area.  Before that sheep could walk straight onto the roof. The "opencast quarrying" took me several years of backbreaking work with two picks, several shovels and several wheelbarrows. All of them died a slow and horrible death from being completely worn out. Not one single teaspoon full of highly compressed gravel was removed without a fight. The same went for the parking area at the end of the house.

I moved literally hundreds of boulders up to the size of a mini. Many of which could only be persuaded with a ten foot scaffolding pole as a lever. With myself dangling from the far end like monkey on a stick. I used lengths of narrow gauge railway line as shorter levers in cramped spaces. These days I'd struggle to lift the shortest. The materials won from this colossal endeavour became a large, flat lawn area and firm and level standing for the car. I landscaped a wet marsh with several large ponds all dug by hand with hundreds of trees planted on the resulting banks of spoil. I added a long bank of recycled stones and gravel to keep the stream from flooding our land every winter.

I cleared the surface stones and boulders from a 20 acre field in exchange for the farmer's plot of unusable marsh next to the house. I modified wheelbarrows to carry eight huge tipper lorry loads of 8' long tree trunks from a closed timber yard. The wheelbarrows were needed to bring it all down our steeply sloping, 1-in-6, rough, gravel drive from the road one hundred yards away in another world. It was all sawn up with a hand bow saw and split with a splitting maul like an axe on a sledge hammer. It all kept our woodburning stove going for several winters.

The trike shed provides support for the superhero to pose. Or was it a poser pretending to be a superhero? Central vertical struts were added to the roof before covering.  I wore glasses back then before my chronic OCD tricycling cured my shortsightedness.

The tools and memories of my life's work all reared their ugly heads as I steadily excavated my way through disintegrating cardboard boxes on the former, crap shelving units. I had quite forgotten how I had screwed it all together and to the shed itself, just to keep it all upright as the shelves sagged and crumpled from day one. The new stuff will easily outlast me. I now have only three longer, wider and higher units instead of the previous four. I just need more boxes or shallow tubs to reduce the amount of fresh air by stacking. Not an easy task to fetch boxes from the supermarket on a trike. Nor tubs from the DIY superstore ten miles away. My 20-year old car may yet enjoy a second journey inside one calendar month.

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Sunday 4th September 2016. Taking the afternoon ferry to Odense.

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Sunday 4th 55F, 13C, very heavy overcast, windy and wet. The DMI forecast is a warning of heavy rain and thundery cloudbursts. Not a promising day for anything much except scuba diving and white water kayaking. I don't think putting cork tape on the handlebars counts as a proper flotation device. Life would be so much easier with a carport to shelter under. I can't swing a trimaran in the trike shed.

As it was regularly tipping down I exiled myself to make another dent in the shed's clutter. Never invest in cheap steel shelving! The flimsy shelves can't support any weight without buckling. If you are going to add some kind of reinforcing boards you might as well have them to start with. It depends how much you value your own time in fetching the materials cutting and fitting them. And you still end up with an undersized arrangement!

My shelving tends to collect shallow cardboard [supermarket fruit and veg] boxes rather than plastic tubs. I don't need the depth that most tubs provide. Deep tubs tend to become far too heavy or waste valuable storage space by being only half full. The cardboard "trays"  are much larger than the ridiculously mean 12" shelving depth. Minus the flexible angle iron uprights of course. So they tend to hang over the front and back of the shelving and jammed between the sharp uprights. 15" is probably the minimum useful shelf depth. At least, IMO.

Then the shed's 2x4 wall studs push the shelving out so that there are gaps behind. Gaps which are guaranteed to attract unnoticed, falling items never to be seen again. If I wasn't such a skinflint I'd go in search of some decent shelving.  Taller too, so I can leave a proper space on the floor underneath for heavier or bulkier items. Though a strong shelf would do just as well to provide extra stability.

I'm trying to use [well padded] ladder supporting wall S-hooks to hang bikes and trikes from the open ceiling joists. Bikes and trikes in particular, are mostly fresh air and quickly use up lots of valuable space. Trikes can have their wheels taken off and hung by the rear axle stretched across the open ceiling joists. Though this is not remotely handy for a regularly used machine.

Having talked myself into buying some better shelving racks I headed to town in the car. The downpours continued to increase in length and ferocity as I approached Odense. There was up to four inches of standing water on the roads at times with the car being dragged left and right by deeper water. Naturally I reduced my speed as visibility dropped, but I was the only one to do so. Time and again I had drivers sitting right on my tail when conditions were simply too foul to maintain the legal speed limit.

After a quick dash into the shop in heavy rain to pay for my racks I found the rain had actually stopped on my exit. What I hadn't counted on was a sociopathically selfish driver had parked with his nose in the heavy goods collection portal. So I had to maneuver the heavy trolley, loaded with heavier racks, around him. While this fuckwit used his mobile phone and waited his turn in the queue to collect something. I was getting into serious oxygen debt by the time I had detoured around his car, unloaded the trolley into the boot and returned it to the portal.

On the way back the weather was, quite unbelievably, even worse. Lightening added a bit of extra drama to the stair rods and fast moving windscreen wipers. I dropped from 80kph to 60 and then 40 [50-25mph] and the car was still swerving dangerously as I hit massively deep, invisible puddles. It had become so dark, still in early afternoon, that I had to switch on my dash lights just to read my speedometer.

Just when I thought it couldn't possibly get any worse and I had decided to pull off to wait for a lull, I was actually overtaken! A white van [what else?] covered in the graphics of a car sales and repair workshop went past at high speed. Somehow he managed to make my visibility even worse. The wipers could no longer cut through the sheer thickness of the water on the screen at its fastest setting. I could see the headlights of fast approaching cars as I let the car slow even more. Only to be immediately overtaken by a large car. It was completely impossible to identify the make through the deluge as the rain battered the car's roof and water roared in the wheel wells. I clung onto the steering wheel to try and keep the car straight as these two raving nutters rapidly vanished into the distance.

Half way back the road was lined for hundreds of yards on both sides by badly parked cars. Some sort of roadside garden center was holding a sale. The busy main road was marked with double white lines, the sky was black and it was still bucketing down. Despite all of this there were families moving down the outside of the parked cars in the roadway, against the speeding traffic, just to avoid walking on the wet grass of the verge! I had to slow and indicate and then wait for them to allow me to continue around them against the oncoming traffic. Despite the awful conditions the traffic was often speeding well above the legal speed limit and often careering along nose to tail. All desperately waiting for a chance to overtake. It is Sunday afternoon, lunacy is alive and well on Fyn and going about its business as usual.   

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1 Sept 2016

1st September 2016 Ramping up against the opposition.

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Thursday 1st 56F, 13C, very light breeze, lots of thin clouds, brightening. I walked another route on the stubble fields. A flock of perhaps 100 swallows was still there from the day before. They seemed to delight in shooting back and forth under a large oak tree with occasional rests on a nearby roof.

I had early coffee in anticipation of a ride but it became darker and rained. The DMI radar shows a long strip of rain passing right over us. It should brighten up by lunch time. Short, late afternoon ride. Returned, heavily laden, into the wind. Only 7 miles.

Friday 2nd 62F, 17C, cloudy with bright sunny periods. Light breeze. Went looking for the fire which choked us yesterday in the early evening but no sign. Saw several birds of prey. Saved a large black beetle determined to forage on the road. Spoke briefly to a hen. Nothing newsworthy to report. Returned in time to avoid a heavy shower. More rain forecast. Showers and gales with no reason to go out for  ride.

Saturday 3rd 56-65F, 13-18C, calm and bright with thin high cloud. Another tour of wet stubble fields walking in circles. The swallows continue to patrol under the radar. A sudden arrival of millions of daddy-long-legs should help to keep them from becoming peckish. Quite breezy and overcast now but I'm going out on the trike anyway. Two days of continuous heavy rain are forecast for tomorrow and Monday. I wish I'd had more notice to buy in enough wood for a decent sized ark.

A local 'mountain' with a 'Mohican.'

Late morning ride. I caught an elderly "racing" cyclist [of about my own age] on the cycle path and had to overtake by using the house on/off ramps. He promptly sat on my tail at 16mph into a cross headwind. So I shifted up a couple of cogs and shot straight up to 20mph. He eventually caught me again and overtook me just as the cycle lane ended. Only to jam on his brakes and block my path to take a left turn across the traffic! Grrr! It's not all bad news. I gained one place in the long queues in the coop when an oblate spheroid woman stopped to buy a sack full of pick 'n' mix sweets. I'd have offered to drag the bag to the checkouts but she might have thought I was taking the mickey.

A gale headwind under heavy threatening cloud coming home.  After further shopping I was overtaken by another, younger "racing" cyclist. Even on the tri-bars and doing an occasional 19mph I couldn't catch him. What was really weird was that he was only pedalling occasionally. With regular periods of freewheeling. With the shopping and the weight of the trike and umpteen bags I was probably pushing along 20kg more than he was, but even so. I'm not suggesting his carbon bike had twin outboard motors but it does make you think. At least my knees don't point backwards! So that's all right then. 15 miles.

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