18th August 2016 "Bales may safely graze."

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Thursday 18th 64F, 18C, bright, breezy from the north and rather cloudy but dry. The very first bird I noticed was a Coal tit foraging in the hedge while gulls screamed high overhead. Then I noticed a tractor and baler parked in the corner of a distant field. So I decided to photograph it and the row of huge bales it had made earlier. Just as I closed on the baler two farm workers arrived in a car to take the tractor and baler to a new venue. I gave them a wave and they carried on after the initial surprise of finding a [very] strange bod on their field.

That's a five tread ladder just to reach the cab and this isn't even remotely one of the largest tractors around. I measured myself against one of the bales and it came up to my t-shirt neckline. It was considerably longer than its height and depth. This helps to give some idea of the remarkable scale of the machine and matching tractor. One slight oddity is that a bale always seems to be left in the back of baling machines to be pushed out by new bales at the next session.Which begs the question of what they do with the last bale at the end of the season? Do they keep a pet goat or lamb on the end of a long length of harvester twine to steadily gnaw the bale away over the winter?

After coffee I rode off to have my ears syringed. I was averaging 17-19mph on the tri-bar extensions but the Brooks B17 saddle is very uncomfortable riding at that low angle! My right ear has improved but my left is still deaf to lower frequencies. It seems I may have to take an audio test and even consider a hearing aid. Pardon? It is a damned nuisance not being able to hear properly. Conversation in foreign languages becomes even more difficult and TV/Netflix too loud just to hear the dialogue clearly. Probably the worst is that I can't hear the sociopaths racing around the blind corners towards me.  Only 7 miles in a cross/head gale going both ways.

"Bales may safely graze."

It stayed cool all day as I tidied the trike shed to the sound of farm machinery working hard on the surrounding fields. In case you were interested: The leather saddle bag weighed all of 6 lbs to the Carradice Camper's modestly emaciated 1.8lbs. I emptied both bags to avoid any potential bias. I don't think I'll bother going back to whispered accusations of leather fetishism. Which still leaves me with an alternative to the Camper + sports bag conundrum. What will he do next?

A very large, White-tailed eagle has just been circling over our garden. Distinctly white tail, pale head and a huge yellow beak seen easily through the binoculars. Massive dark wings outstretched with 'finger' feathers at the tips as it soared effortlessly at least 200' overhead. Too high for my little TZ7 camera to capture anything useful.

I hear the Scots landlords are still mass slaughtering their "protected" birds of prey. It's like there's no profit or fat bonuses in having them around the tame shooting bird galleries. The birds of prey keep disappearing off the satellite tracking system and these trackers are utterly reliable by now down to the nearest few yards. No doubt the bird's heads are adorning some local pub wall to amusement of the gathered "investment banker gentry" as they pay through the nose for re-bottled, piss-poor, local malt whiskey instead of enjoying the real stuff from Aldi. Wouldn't it be great fun if somebody sent over a drone and took out the real Eco-terrorists for a nice bit of target practice before going off to war to defend "their betters?'  There's a certain irony in vengeance raining down from the air.

Click on any image for an enlargement.

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17th August 2016 Green hypocrisy on a national scale!

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Wednesday 17th 54-70F, 12-21C, calm with bright sunshine and a bit of thin, high white cloud. Walked around a loop out on the harvested prairie. I should have gone for a ride in such perfect weather but didn't. Most of the day was completely cloudless. Late afternoon ride for essentials. Only 8 miles.

In breaking news:

Round 1: "Green" Denmark has been ignoring warnings of inner city traffic pollution for ten years in Copenhagen. Their solution? Move the sensors away from the traffic! Woohoo! The EU is warning Denmark of a breach of the EU [diesel] Tractate to which Denmark is a signatory. The reason for the pollution is allowing diesel lorries and cars in the city center. Remember how diesel car owners were subsidized by fuel tax reduction? It's happening again with a reduction in NO2 targets and charges despite the VW software fraud on diesel pollution tests. Woohoo! Diesel heads 10:  Poor human beings 0. <cough-cough>

Round 2: "Green" Denmark's Motorist's club FDM has criticized "Green" Copenhagen's desire to have 500 parking places reserved for electric cars while simultaneously providing them with charging facilities. It seems these special parking spots are underused when Copenhagen is absolutely desperate for parking spaces. Yeah, right! You can never have enough handy parking spots for the poor old car commuters. How do you encourage electric car ownership? Provide parking spots. How do you encourage the status quo? Give motorists enough parking spots to continue their antisocial behaviour. Woohoo! Petrol Heads 10: Poor human beings 0.

Round 3: It is official: "Green" but poverty stricken Copenhagen cannot afford a single Car Free Sunday this year. So they are going to close [only] 5 roads to traffic for [only] a few hours of the year to coincide with the city's half-marathon. Ideas are being sought for events to fill these [only] FIVE traffic-free roads for [only] several hours on [only] ONE Sunday in September in the entire year. No doubt the cost of policing these FIVE road closures, for [only] just a few hours on [only] one Sunday in the 365 day x 24 hour year [8760] is the major expense. Petrol heads do have their basic human rights to speed drive, at will, after all. Woohoo! Petrol Heads 10: Ordinary human beings 0. Many Copenhagen inhabitants do not own a car. They prefer to walk or cycle in their 364½ days of traffic congestion and pollution.  

Round 4: Cyclists can be heavily fined for <cough> cycling in pedestrian zones in "Green" Danish city centers. Meanwhile vehicles may freely use these same "traffic free" streets for "business related" loading and unloading. How can you tell them apart from ordinary motorists cheating? Answers on a postcard, please, to The PM of "Green" Denmark.

Many pedestrian streets are literally blocked by parked cars and vans and lorries. Even by articulated lorries! But cyclists must always dismount? Woohooo!  Cheating petrol heads 10: Cyclists and other nice human beings 0.

It's great fun walking my laden trike along a pedestrian street and having to continually pull to the side between parked vehicles to let another vehicle pass. The police often have "stings" on pedestrianized streets where those nasty "outlaw" cyclists fail to dismount. The fine for riding a cycle exceeds that for illegally speeding in a car! Woohoo! I keep thinking I might get away with racing around the pedestrian zones by pretending it's a mobility trike and being a Johnny foreigner that I no understandee dee Danisk, isn't it? Fat chance! What's Danish for "I'm 69, you know!"

Round 5: This rant was brought to you by a cyclist who would really like a very small electric car but Denmark heavily taxes every new car sale by 180%!!! The fledgling electric car sales in "Green" Denmark were killed overnight by the reintroduction of the 180%!!! registration taxes on imported electric vehicles. Denmark doesn't make any vehicles as far as I am aware.

When we moved to Denmark nearly 20 years ago we brought our ancient Volvo with us. It's street value in the UK was a couple of hundred quid with a following wind. But we still had to pay the minimum Danish car import/registration tax of well over a £1000 quid in real money! Plus hundreds of pounds equivalent making it MOT worthy for Denmark. This was despite it having a brand new British MOT just before we left! The Danes have a saying. "Own one car but pay for three." I have another saying about daylight robbery but I'm not telling it here.

I wonder how much the politic-ooze classes pay towards their chauffeured limos and worldwide Ist class jet "business" trips to "important environmental gatherings?" I'm still waiting for one of them to deny AGW exists. Any day now as the electorate leans ever further to the right to combat the previous decades of open door immigration. They wouldn't even let me in these days and I really can't blame them! Talk about biting the hand which feeds me! It's a good job I'm an unpaid, walking talking ambassador for gorgeous rural Denmark. I'm probably worth my weight in JPEGs by now!  ;-)  

Explained: Denmark's crazy car registration tax - The Local

Denmark To Phase Out Electric Car Tax Breaks - Price Of Tesla Model S To Almost Triple

Teslas Hit by 180% Danish Tax on Cars as Green Goals Ditched - Bloomberg

This one is for my brother. Who likes to read a good rant over his Danish bacon and MRSA.

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Individual UPSO bags by Carradice.

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Carradice, the famous cycle bag people, have come up with a brilliant new line. They are "upcycling/ recycling" lorry side curtains, car seat belt webbing and fire hoses into a variety of bags and calling them their UPSO line. They claim they are highly selective with their choice of material and it is thoroughly cleaned before manufacture. Being a bit of an Imelda M. when it comes to bike bags I'd kill for the faded magenta series if only one of them exactly matched my tricycle rack shopping needs. Which basically means 50x 30cm [19"W x 12"H]  and at least 20cm [8"] deep from front to back [F>B].

 Welcome to UPSO

Here I have 'repainted' the red UPSO "Ferrybridge" folder bag in magenta. Not with a great deal of artistic skill but just to show the potential colour match for my trike. The 'Ferrybridge'  is actually far too  small [on its own] for my shopping use hanging at the back of the trike due to a lack of F>B depth.

The UPSO 'Corley' cabin airline overhead locker bag is about the right size but is [rather sadly] built on a 'portrait' format rather than 'landscape'. While the 'Ferrybridge' Brompton front folder bag [shown above] is potentially a better shape it lacks the generous dimensions to allow me to lose the inevitable sports bag. That which always dangles so precariously over the top of my Carradice Camper saddlebag.

What I'd really like is a Camper Longflap in that gorgeous faded magenta of the 'Corley' cabin at lower right. But one which is far more generous in depth from front to back. It can also be slightly taller if the fixing straps are re-sited downwards to match the Camper's Trykit rack matching dimensions. My Camper saddlebag just doesn't have the necessary F>B depth for two rows of 1L milk cartons. This means they have to go single file right across the width which severely limits my capacity to carry anything else. Hence the inevitable sports bag. I have learned from years of practice at tricycle shopping that milk cartons need to stand up and not be crushed. Having milk running through ones bag[s] is apt to require disciplinary action by The Head Gardener! [Usually in the form of a verbal warning for the over-curious.]

I am often tempted to try a pair of boxy rear panniers for their greater flexibility and load carrying capacity. Instead of using a broad bike rear rack I'd hang them from a simple longitudinal pipe [rack] fixed above and between the rear wheels. Since there is no need to make room for a revolving rear bike wheel [in the middle] the rack bags could be hung literally back to back.

The problem is all the fixings and hardware usually attached to pannier bags for which I have absolutely no use. A simple pair of straps or a connecting flap to hang them both over the top bar [much like a cowboy's horse panniers] is all I really need. I just need to ensure I have heel room and easy top access to the two bags without anything dragging on the cassette. The latter's circular-saw like abilities is best known for milk cartons and always results in an infraction.

I have become used to carrying a large sports bag over the years and take it into the shop with me. This minimizes having to reload everything outside from flimsy carrier bags in the rain. The heavy and rigid or tinned stuff goes in the fixed Camper. Leaving 'bags' of room for the lettuce/eggs and other more fragile stuff in the sports bag. This works, but looks bløødy awful having a ginormous sports bag swinging off the saddle pin at the back! Tempting as it might be, I remain stubbornly fixed in my desire to avoid dragging a trailer of any kind. Nor do fixed boxes do it for me.

The big, old, leather bag was great fun for a while. I slowly went off using it when the original and vital leather straps gave up their struggle for longevity. Their sturdy, almost industrial and weathered appearance was a major part of the bag's battered charm. Despite endless searching online and in charity shops, I was unable to source anything new [and affordable] with original roller buckles. Even if the belt was affordable the postage was twice as much! I thought eBay had stamped out that con?  Rollers are an essential part of the enjoyment of strap tightening and are highly therapeutic. Even for those not heavily into leather. [sic]

Despite pretensions to grandeur as a possible, rural doctor's bag it was probably meant as a tool bag for a stone mason or rough carpenter. It had a tool rack inside for just such implements as they were likely to use. This gorgeous bag cost me all of a fiver [£5GBP in old money] at a local charity shop. It required some work to make it attach firmly and neatly to the Trykit rack.

Perhaps I should stop dreaming of weathered, magenta, lorry side curtains and try harder to find some suitable replacement straps. The leather ran quietly enough even on bumpy roads. Though not with the absolute silence of Carradice's superb cotton duck. If only Carradice made bigger bags!! The thick, hide leather retained its boxy shape which was ideal for protecting the shopping. The depth was just right for two rows of milk cartons in the corners while leaving plenty of room for other stuff. Even it's weight was not much more than the Camper Longflap. [Not true! I checked again: 6lbs : 1.8lbs] No outside pockets for U-locks and spare inner tubes either. Maybe not ideal, then.

Plus 4 more miles for 11 today. My poor old car is now repaired and tested and can now sit [almost] unused for another couple of years. At this rate it would be cheaper to hire a Ferrari when we actually need a car. The Head Gardener has lost interest in "outings." Though that sounds much worse than it actually is.

Click on any image for an enlargement.

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