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Friday 9th 41-48F, wet and very windy. Expected to stop raining later but remain cloudy. An early walk is unlikely due to the weather conditions. I re-treated my boots yesterday and my jacket is certainly waterproof. Why would I want to voluntarily subject myself to the discomfort of gale-driven rain? Does "my public" expect it? Of course they do! Millions wait with baited breath. As my words of wisdom drop from my gilded keyboard at the touch of my perfectly manicured fingers.
But! Don't I have responsibilities as a "billionaire global influencer" to always look my best? Don't I already have my top, international plastic surgeon on speed dial? My team of skin specialists on permanent call. Don't I have the finest designers at my beck and call? Just to provide that perfect jacket for the processional walk up to the woods? Always in front of the global media. My hairdresser can wing his way across the Atlantic on one of my private jets at my merest whim.
How do I cope with the constant pressure to perform, you ask? I suppose it comes down to perfect genes, a "healthy" diet and a lifetime's struggle. Always trying to be self-important. Endlessly practising the casual flick of my hair in one of my countless, full length mirrors. Practising my comportment at my Private Swiss Finishing School was worth every penny. 😏
Should I do more box opening videos? Would that help to swell my viewing figures? Do I just need more designer kittens in my internationally acclaimed videos? "Cute" always sells product.
Wait! I have just realised what the problem is! Wind noise! That's all that is stopping me from becoming even more of a global, cult figure.
A mid morning walk to the lanes. With the wind roaring steadily in the roadside trees. Four Five tiny deer were grouped against the hedge two fields over. I just found a fifth in my fuzzy photos at full zoom. Lots of sunshine after 10am. Though still with big banks of cloud.
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