20 Jul 2016

20th July 2016 Froome wins Tour De Farce TT.


Wednesday 20th 69-78F, 21-26C,  bright sunshine, light breeze.

A baler passed close to the road yesterday.  The huge bales are gently dropped by the tail platform as it travels along. The sky tells you everything about yesterday's cloud.

Today's walk on my usual loop up through the woods was warm and sticky under a clear blue sky. The exit track from the forest had been mowed but the woods needed a frogman's suit and snorkel to get through the sopping wet undergrowth. So I took to the densely packed trees instead of the track to reach the edge of the forest without needing a bath towel and flippers. Several hares temporarily blocked my route while birds of prey flew low over the crops still looking for breakfast.

Mid-afternoon ride in hot sunshine. It reached 78F in the shade for the warmest day in a rather cool and wet July after a warm June. Legs rather leaden. 14 miles.

Thursday 21st 64-78F, 18-26C, overcast, windy and wet. I started off on a walk but the rain returned. As did I. It has remained dry since then. Grr?

Froome wins the individual time trial convincingly in the Yellow Jersey. Mark Cavendish leaves to concentrate on the Olympics after winning four stage sprints and wearing both the Green and Yellow Jerseys. His tally of stage wins now stands at 30. 

 Another stealth harvester wearing the Yellow Jersey hiding in plain sight in the Danish countryside. It has been strongly suggested that these machines be made to proceed the Tour De France riders on the big climbs.

Yet again the Tour De Farce riders were repeatedly blocked by so-called "spectators." [and, as usual, I use the term loosely] At which point it seems I shall have to issue a correction on behalf of the international, sports science community:

For years the scientific consensus has been that those who deliberately blocked the road were, very obviously, severely mentally ill, "educationally challenged" [or whatever PC term passes for the mentally retarded these days] and hideously obsessive, attention seekers to boot.

Long and careful scientific study of single frames from the HD live camera coverage has now shown that, while all these interpretations are simultaneously accurate, at least for the vast majority of "road blockers" ...

The harvest is all downhill from here.

...the real problem seems to be that they are all simply so damned ugly. Otherwise they would not be standing in the middle of the road and might even be able to hold down real jobs. Perhaps doing things like litter picking after outdoor pop concerts for example. Their proven track record, where road discipline is concerned, suggests that litter picking the verges would be far too dangerous for other road [ab]users. Or, these same, raving, "all about me" jay walkers could while away their empty 11 months [and a week extra] less harmlessly by playing the latest computer games indoors [despite all their other severe handicaps.]

This new report may seem harsh for those with weak, multicultural stomachs but the data speaks for itself. We must all pray that no "road blockers" have ever been allowed to breed. Certainly not with each other!! It doesn't have to be like this. For the cost of one baldy's barber's salary, France could easily afford enough crowd barriers. Non means no! [Allegement]
Late afternoon [hilly] ride in yet another sweaty, 78F, 26C day in bright sunshine. Only 10 miles. I have just re-invented solar water heating. The instructions are very simple: Place ridiculously expensive plastic water bottle in ridiculously expensive plastic water bottle cage. Ride for five minutes in warm sunshine and enjoy a nice swig of luke warm, bath water. Campagnolo is bringing out a Super Record Electric Bottle Cooler to fit in Weekend Warrior's bottle cages. Prices have yet to be announced but Donald Trump has apparently ordered the first to come off the production line for his personal [chauffeured] gold plated, golf kart's, cocktail cabinet in faux, Louis 14th style.

 Click on any image for an enlargement.

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