30th June 2019 The Big Hot!

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Sunday 30th 73-84F and bright and breezy at 8.00. With 86F, 30C promised around lunchtime. THG has been moving her plants out of the greenhouse in preparation for "The Big Hot." Nothing we have tried so far in the way of shading has helped very much. Just spread the blinding light out a bit so welding goggles aren't quite so necessary.  Don't believe the adverts when they show real people in greenhouses on a sunny day. They are probably shop mannequins and even then they would have to whip them out after the photo shoot. Before they, quite literally, melted away.

My back pain keeps hiding and then sneaking back again. A walk will probably help. Though I worry about getting half way and then having to crawl back on my hands and knees. All walks must inevitably involve an "out and back." That is once I am allowed out of the gate at The Servant's Entrance with a 2 hour [conditional] pass.

It could be much, much worse! THG was talking about having me "chipped" back when I'd think nothing of going off for a 7-8 hour ride "to the shops" on the trike. Imagine the embarrassment of being returned as "lost property" in a marked police van. I don't think I could have lived with the shame. So I took up compulsory morning walks instead.
 
Stepping outside the back door into blinding sunshine, to don my walking boots, was like stepping off a plane in some tourist "hot spot." Not that I can hold a discourse on the subject from first hand experience. Our last holiday was well over 30 years ago and involved two frosty nights in a tent on a sheep's field in Snowdonia.

Which probably explains why we were in absolutely no hurry to repeat the mistake. It could be fairly said that we are not "people" people. The mere idea of sitting on a beach with several million, corpulent basking bods in a state of undress, is now totally abhorrent to both of us. We tried that once, too, but I wasn't allowed to look.

My back behaved itself today as I plodded steadily under a baking sun to the village and back. A solitary Mallard was following the advice in the newspapers. By cooling off with his feet immersed in the church pond. It is coming up to to 10.am as I wait for morning coffee and hot marmalade on toast and it has already reached a sweltering 78F. There is a good breeze going. So I risked condemnation by the neighbours in raising my arms to simulate a chick cooling off in the nest. Surely nobody would be daft enough to think I was hoping to fly? It topped out at 84F or 29C.

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29th June 2019 Roasted Frogs suffer at 45.9C = 115F!

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Saturday 29th 56-73F, uniform grey skies despite the promise of an endlessly, sunny day. France has broken its all time, highest temperature record with a rather half-hearted 45.9C = 115F. Any proud nation, worth its salt, would have gone for the full 46C and hang the expense in taxpayer's money. Fortunately we have it on the highest scientific authority [Proff. Herr Chump Née Koch] that this isn't remotely due to global warming.

My back is improving slowly but I still have to be careful about lifting bags of compost over my head. I kid you not! The Head Gardener had asked me if I had my military grade, exo-skeleton in the boot when she let me out of the servant's entrance. Of course I lied and then duly suffered the consequences for gross insubordination. I should have sent our domestic robot instead, but had begged to be allowed out just to get away from the endless household chores. Though, of course, I hadn't mentioned the real excuse.

The supermarket stack of compost bags was literally above my head height in my best, sling back sandals! I should have gone next door where it was a penny cheaper. And, the stacks were more human-orientated. All thanks to adult supervision of the miserably paid, prepubescent staff so typical of today's, Danish, supermarket chains. Have you noticed how they always have [badly] handwritten and badly faded recruiting notices for new, under-13 staff by the checkouts?

Which probably explains why you never see the same innocent face twice. There they are in the sweet-buying queue one day. Then serving their junior school chums the next. The shock may be too much for many of them! How will they possibly cope without the constant support of their 'phones? I do hope the supermarket chain is offering PTSD therapy to those staff affected by the shocking transition to an [albeit temporary] "hands free" existence? Perhaps we should be told?

The Danish news media was smirking at the fleet of huge, Germanic, ministerial cars lined up for the Newly Green Government Ministers. Not a Tesla Roadster in sight! Do you think they are saving that one for me? I have registered an interest in being the first to own a Free Tesla Roadster under the Newly Green Government's Trade-in Policy For a Much Greener Future. After all, I think I have done my bit for the planet in pedalling my trike for 16,000km / 10,000 miles per year to the shops. [Albeit with a few minor detours.] There surely never was anybody more deserving, than I? Though I do hate to blow my own trumpet.  😇

Being the unsung hero of my own legend I was urged on my way this morning by THG wielding a sharpened, garden cane. Simultaneously, Her well-polished megaphone provided gentle advice on posture and pace as I limped away. Not daring to glance back to avoid a certain charge of insubordination.

At first the traffic was completely absent. The utter silence leading me to suspect foul play. Further suggesting a careful glance behind every hedge for lurking Triffids might be wise. Alas it was not to be! Humanity soon reared its ugly head in the form of a young woman driving while talking the usual bølløcks into her mobile phone.

The next example on the conveyor belt of doom was a young family of four. With the male driver managing a perfect owl impression. As he reassured his doting passengers in the rear seats that, yes, he could drive with his head on backwards. Even if it meant mowing down the odd, composting septuagenarian in full, but painfully limping, flight.

Needless to say I have returned all but unscathed. Or you would not be suffering this continuing diatribe. Though there was some minor drama. As a combine harvester hid behind a roadside signpost as a car drove the other way. Of course it had to happen just as they were due to pass me going in opposite directions. It was ever thus. I duly dived for the crops on the other side of the narrow verge and was rewarded with a temporary stay of my near-death experience.

The descents were the worst part of today's walk but went unseen by THG's powerful binoculars. Overcoming my suffering in record time for the walk to the lanes and back required ten minutes of intense interrogation on my return. How could I possibly argue against the video evidence? Even if it wouldn't stand up in a Danish court.

Any chance of a ride, do I hear? Yesterday's major faux pas was returning without butter even though THG [Praise be Her Name] had crossed butter out on the shopping list. She told me that she had carefully explained that she meant that I should buy butter. Sadly this had escaped me by the time I had endured my quarterly, close shearing. Besides, She was talking into my deaf ear as I sat in the car, heart pounding, just waiting for Her to drop the flag. Which, of course, is to initiate the timing of my escape outing to the nearest hundredth of a second.

Fresh from my "miracle cure" in reaching the lanes on foot, I sprang onto my trike for a shopping trip. On my return, 7 miles later, I was ready for a short triathlon and I can't even swim. I had ridden like a maniac at 18mph and 150rpm towards the village shops. Returning into more of a headwind at 16mph. Rumours of my recent demise were obviously exaggerated. The only tricycling superhero in the village rides again!

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27th June 2019 Excused boots!

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Thursday 27th 61F, bright periods but rather cloudy. A cooler day in prospect but plenty of sunshine is offered. Temperature records, for June, were broken yesterday in various places including Germany and Czechoslovakia. More heat expected.

Excused boots! No walk today. I've hurt my back lifting heavy compost bags in and out of the car boot. I could hardly reach the gate let alone walk for miles.

Friday 28th 65F, sunny with only a little cloud. Mobile enough for my quarterly appointment with the sheep shearers. So now I look at least 120 years younger and my head is so light they want to use me for research into hot air balloons. I can confirm that my completely deaf, left ear worked just fine by conduction as the razor removed 3 months' worth of snowy, baby "down."

I have registered to be first in the queue for my free Tesla Roadster once the new government gets its "climate" act together. My '90s Japanese car is out there gibbering away to itself. It doesn't know whether to be sad at its early retirement or grateful to go to its final resting place.

I saw the lady, who is well into her 80s, shopping on her bike again today. She gardens constantly between tours up and down a half mile stretch of "her" bit of main road. Collecting litter from the gas guzzling Choker Metal Cleaner [Secret formula: H2O+CO2+C12 H22 O11] baby bottle suckers and McSlob's Throwaways. She does this because the council can't afford litter pickers when it has so much original [Danish] modern art [aka. hideous daubs] to buy for its palatial offices.

The main news is on Japanese knotweed. Clumps of which have been "sewn" by the council verge mowers. Spreading it far and wide. A single plant can cover a circle 14 meters [52'] across and is all but indestructible by any normal means.

Another online, box shifter is using false advertising. An item, promised for delivery, from stock, within 2-3 days, is now expected next week. i.e. A completely fraudulent 7 days minimum from ordering. That's if I am lucky and their remote supplier gets their finger out. NO stock means NO bløødy stock! There is NO OTHER interpretation! Not even if their lying sales website says otherwise.

In many cases, in my own, direct experience, "foreign" online dealers can deliver far quicker from Germany and the UK. Than a Danish online dealer can deliver from just down the road.

The honest stockists miss the sale to the lying crooks. Who only order from the importer/wholesaler when they get an order on their own sales website. Fraudulent advertising of stock should be a punishable, criminal offense with a hefty fine. A repeat offense worthy of a prison term.

It is now far too late to order the tool elsewhere and nothing will be gained if I do. Because the weekend intervenes and there are no deliveries in Denmark on the weekend.

Now there's an opening for somebody enterprising with the capacity to provide a reliable, national, Weekend Delivery service. Guess what? Most Danes are at work during the week and are never home to receive their parcels. Most Danes are at home on Saturday or Sunday morning because few Danes work on the weekend. There's a glaring imbalance in service there somewhere.

I wonder if the new Danish government will invent consumer protection? Probably not. There obviously hasn't been any need for it so far. After all, the politicians never need to do their own shopping. There has always been some security lackey or unpaid Au-pair to do it for them. So they won't care about the endless fraudulent advertising by Danish household names.

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26th June 2019 "Hell on Earth!"

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Wednesday 26th 75-83.5F. 75F at 8.00 and climbing fast. This corner of Denmark was the only place where temperatures did not fall below 20C overnight. What meteorologists call a "Tropical Night. My well shielded outside thermometer already showed 75F [24C] at 8.00 am this morning.

Absolute proof that we are living in the Matrix? The landscape keeps breaking down into unlikely, linear features.

 As usual, our neighbours still lit their fire and filled our house with smoke. Just to heat their water with their ancient, solid fuel boiler using broken pallets. And no, they aren't impoverished. They each have a far better and much newer car than our single one from the last century.

The sky is covered in thin cloud again but it won't hold temperatures down. It reached a very uncomfortable 83F [28-29C] yesterday. I couldn't stand to be in direct sunshine. Opening the north and south upstairs windows didn't help. There was no cross air movement nor useful "chimney effect" with the outdoor temperature exactly matching that inside.

Europe is facing "Hell on Earth" this week according to one meteorologist. 15,000 died, in France alone, during one former heat wave and temperatures records could be broken again. The young and elderly are particularly vulnerable. They are also the least able to escape the heat.

France is providing cool sanctuaries and public fountains this time but it hardly dents the very real dangers to those with perfectly normal homes and apartments. The vast majority of existing buildings in Europe have heat absorbing roofs and oversized solar heated windows. Add the lack of empathy from a century of self-deluded, sociopathic "architects" [ I use the term loosely] and it all adds up to increased, massed suffering for all at home and at work.

After the "Great Storm" of 1999 all the local houses with even slightly damaged roofs had matt black roofs fitted in place of traditional, orange clay tiles. God help them when the sun beats down on those! Not only do they become red hot but they hold the heat overnight. Most attic bedrooms must have become intolerably hot literally overnight.

Homes with cool, white roofs are as rare was hen's teeth. Welsh slate had/has a similar problem. Great at thermal absorption with a high thermal mass to release it to the unfortunate occupants suffering underneath it day and night.

The only really cool roofing materials I could find in a prolonged search of viable options were white corrugated, fiber-cement sheets and traditional thatch. Unfortunately thatch is hideously expensive. Made worse by high insurance costs. The white, corrugated sheets are one of the cheapest and lightest of roofing materials but unusual enough to be highly noticeable in the landscape. Do not be fooled by shiny metal roofing. It gets as hot as hell in direct sunshine. As does black [tar] roofing felt.

A sweaty walk to the lanes while dodging endless traffic. Already 80F [27C] by 9.30.am. The only cool moment was when I stepped out from behind a roadside hedge into a delicious breeze. Though it was only short lived as I descended into a bowl in the landscape.

The sky is strangely streaked in a fan shape of stripes with an epicenter. New bars were forming between the originals as I gazed upwards. A Red kite was trying to avoid the whirling gulls on top of the hill.

It peaked at 83.5F [29C] before dropping rapidly to 65F [18C] by 7pm. Heavy shopping in the car including more bags of compost for THG. Praise be Her name.

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24th June 2019 Persistent vapour trails.

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Monday 24th 64-74F, bright but rather cloudy and breezy. Just a walk to the lanes in warm, but breezy, veiled sunshine. The sky is covered in medium high plates of cloud. 68F at 10.am and warming steadily to 74F. No birds of prey today.

Tuesday 25th 70-83F. 70F at 8.00 and warming quickly towards a threatened 80F. An early ride is necessary to get some milk for morning coffee.

It wasn't to be. I am being sent on more distant errands. So the car gets another airing. Any semblance of air conditioning involves opening windows and blowing warm air on my feet. My car was built before global warming was invented.

A brisk walk to the lanes. The sky was spoilt by persistent vapour trails. They remained untidily from horizon to horizon. Leaving vague patterns and crosses on my sky. Where do I queue for compensation for having my feelings hurt?

The Danish supermarket Mafia still had no stock of their advertised special offers which started last week. "Special" as in unicorn droppings! Repeated false advertising to entice shoppers into their stores is a crime. One repeated weekly by the same supermarket and big shed chains.

In a landmark case a French court has ruled that the French state was at fault for not curbing traffic pollution in Paris. The consequences of which were ill health for the plaintiff and her daughter.

By what basic human right may one drive to the corner shop and cause traffic jams and air pollution? The vast majority of car journeys are very short and could be walked or cycled to the health and economic benefits to the shopper and humanity as whole.

A UN report claims that wealth will separate those affected by climate change from those who will suffer. Yet the vast majority of climate change is and has been caused by the rich and rich nations. While the poor will be unable to escape its affects as the rich nations close their borders. Up to a billion people may be forced to move to escape from humanly intolerable temperatures or die. The Report also blames the UN for endless hot air and zero action.

Many cities are already critically short of water as the mountain glaciers feeding their rivers vanish at an increasing rate. Add the burden of unrestrained human breeding and there is a recipe for human disasters on a truly biblical scale.

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22nd June 2019 The day the EU died. R.I.P.

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Saturday 22nd 60F, bright and sunny. Next week is promised a 40C heat wave over much of Europe.

Herr Chancellor Merkel [Der EU Führer] has publicly crucified St.Margrethe [Vestager] on the dome of the Reichstag.

Merkel has stamped all hope of EU reform under her vicious jackboot in a last, dying act of twisted cruelty from her vulnerable, political bunker.

Remember this date: Midsummer 2019. It all ended here. The day seven hundred and forty million, hapless, unarmed, EU citizens lost the war to The Alien Looter's Cabal.

Today, I walked around the gorgeous, rural block. Three miles in warm sunshine and a dead calm. I took 56 photographs. Mostly while waiting for cloud shadows to move on.

Late morning ride to the shops oop north. It felt like a headwind but I was cruising at 14-18 mph. A tanned and wiry cyclist went past like I was going backwards. Well, so would you be if you were carrying 70kg of ABUS Mini-U lock.

My Sigma computer had lost the will to live [again] while I was shopping. It had already done that before I left but succumbed to some judicious button prodding. So much for replacing the batteries! It's memory is even worse than mine! I can feel an email coming on to the Guinness Book of Pointless Records.

The crooks at the supermarket had no stock of their <cough> special offers, again. When does repeated false advertising become premeditated fraud? When does repeated enticement become grooming? It's odd that Denmark has no consumer protection at all. Probably still in denial like they are with climate change these days.

I was crapped on my arm by a bird as I neared home. Such a rare occurrence I can't remember the last time it happened. Probably because birds usually look down on me. A leaf from a weed removed the worst but I'm still bound to turn into a zombie within 24 hours. 14 miles, I think, therefore it is.

Sunday 23rd 64F, mostly warm, sunny and calm, with variable cloud promised. Walked anti-clockwise in a big loop using a little known footpath. I have to walk to the far end of the nearest village first. Before taking a steep, 1-in-4 track up through the countryside.

There is a farmhouse on the path and their dogs always bark furiously as they move menacingly around me. Only one dog today and the owner came out to have the dog ignore him as usual.

Monet sews poppies in memory of the EU and the death of democracy at the hands of  yet another Chancellor of Germany.

I walked on. Returning via the familiar lanes. The same bird of prey as yesterday, or its twin, gave a low flying display as it looked for breakfast. It remained very low and did not immediately leave the area today, as I stood stock still. Its wing tips were darker than I remembered but just as long and narrow. None of the common European birds of prey come even close on wingspan for its modest [middling] size. It covered exactly the same ground as yesterday.

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20th June 2019 Any [glowing] weather cock in a storm.

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Thursday 20th 66-77F, bright but very cloudy. I looked at the sky repeatedly as I walked away from home. Already warm with only a T-shirt for protection against possible cloudbursts. In fact it looked slightly threatening at times but remained dry.

In close-up the wind vane cockerel proved to be made of dull, stainless steel. Which doesn't remotely explain how incredibly bright it appeared at the height of the storm. The metal weather cock hasn't moved for years and always appears face-on to our viewpoint. [Minus the tree, of course.] There is nothing to reflect in the metal surface even if it was highly polished. Just another of life's strange mysteries.

I walked anticlockwise up to the forest and back down the other way. Two red kites, a female kestrel and a buzzard provided the aerial entertainment. While warblers sang from every bush, hedge and tree in all the variety of their different phrases. Some have a short staccato call. While others go on and on desperately trying to get all the words out as-quickly-as-possible.

The tracks in the woods had not been cleared so I was soon wet up to the waist from wading through tall weeds still wet from yesterday's extreme inclemency. My trousers dried as I walked until only the area immediately above my boots were still dark on my return. Not quite daring, Amazon explorer, but close.

Friday 21st 63F bright but with some cloud. One forecast service says showers around lunchtime. The other says dry and sunny all day.  It's all climate change really but we are safe in the hands of the ruling sociopaths:

 MP Mark Field accused of assaulting Greenpeace activist - BBC News

A warm walk to the lanes. Where a small tabby cat dashed across the road in front of me. Then launched itself into a flat trajectory. Which carried it like a stretched missile, a good 20' out over the cops. Before plopping back down and out of sight. A tremendous leap! Which would easily have carried off an Olympic medal, had it been allowed to compete.

A picture of the sticky bur plants climbing to well over six feet already along hundreds of yards of roadside hedge. On the verge, on other side of the road, it is the turn of thistles to reach for the sky through the tangle of maturing oil seed rape and huge poppies.

Then I was was treated to an aerial display by a beautiful, medium sized, bird of prey. Buff all over, with long, slim, high aspect ratio wings with 'fingers' at the tips. It wheeled sharply over the cat's likely position but soon moved on. On couldn't blame it given the cat's supreme, gymnastic, super powers. It was lucky the cat didn't go VTOL and bring down the bird! A neighbour's cat once snatched a hovering Emperor Dragonfly out of the air from a seated position to well above head height.

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19th June 2019 A fierce thunderstorm!

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Wednesday 19th 61-77F, heavy overcast with continuous thunder and heavy showers. Neither forecast service mentions this. Both offer only dry, sunny periods. However: The Head Gardener's soil scoop has turned up. So we can now look forwards to fine weather until the next crisis. Or not. It reached 77F again this afternoon. As I rode to the shops it was breezy but still felt like a sauna. 7 miles.

Raising the verge from wildlife corridor to luxuriant.

At five pm a black cloud came over with incredibly fierce gusts, continuous lightning and tremendous local thunder claps. This was quickly followed by torrential rain as it turned almost to night. The weird wind moved a lot of stuff along the ground but left far more obviously vulnerable stuff nearby completely alone.

I went over to the window to look out and there was an almighty bang! Some of this thunder really hurt my ears!

A rusty, iron cockerel on a private wind vane was glowing brilliantly white against the darkened landscape. It is normally fully hidden from our view by a large, intervening tree. I shan't be able to check it until I go for a walk tomorrow. I'm certainly not going outside tonight with these random claps of thunder.

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17th June 2019 Rural invasion.

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Monday 17th 67-72F, an hour's walk to the lanes and beyond in warm but milky sunshine. The lanes were full of fritillary butterflies but all safely avoided my lens. Fortunately there were no witnesses to my wild chases.

The hedgerows have now been invaded by multi-stemmed, sticky burr plants. While a Giant Hogweed was decorating a recently gravelled, agricultural site. It should be really spectacular once it gets up a real head of steam. I heard they pour liquid nitrogen down the cut stems to finally get rid of it when nothing else works.

I remember being talked into making a giant pea shooter with a stem borrowed from a bomb site in my early youth. Not something you easily forget once you stick one in your mouth! It's quite amazing I have survived this long.

A windmill repair man has arrived disguised as a white van man.He must tend to a poorly wind turbine which had gone on strike over weekend pay. Or, perhaps it had been a casualty of the recent lightning? I presume they know what they are doing, by now, when it comes to adverse weather. It was anything but adverse today. Reaching a cosy 72F in mostly, bright sunshine with lots of photogenic cloud for decoration.

Tuesday 18th 67-78!F, warm and bright but cloudy. A walk to the lanes and beyond. The sky was mostly high, thin cloud with only limited blue. Lots of birds to enjoy. A deer and a hare bounded off. Only to return minutes later to cross the same, bare field. Perhaps it was two others which hadn't heard the rumours of my stately arrival?

The wind turbine had been repaired but was facing a slightly different way to its partners. Not an easy group to capture well because of dodgy spacing on a sloping site. They never look perfectly upright but it must be an illusion. I laid a grid over the image and they are leaning slightly to the right.

I was able to admire a hundred yards of Japanese knotweed and took a token photograph for posterity. A screening hedge has turned into semi-wild, strip woodland over the years. With a whole range of woody specimens for the wildlife to cling to, sing and nest in.  This is a peaceful, seldom visited area on a quiet lane to nowhere in particular. With commanding views out across the countryside thanks to quite modest elevation.

It reached a sweaty 78F in the afternoon. A few rumbles of thunder were followed by stair rods at 16.40.

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16th June 2019 Swing Left for your greener transport?

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Sunday 16th 62F, almost calm, bright and sunny with thin, high cloud. I took an hour to walk to the woods and back with lots of pauses to admire the view. Lots of brown butterflies getting in my way. I had to keep stopping to let them do their own thing. If only to avoid feeling guilty when they moved from plant to plant, down the verge, for hundreds of yards to get away from me.

Late morning ride to more distant shops. Lots of weekend warriors out and about. Everybody cheerful in the sunshine. Going remarkably well despite the wind. 15 miles returning uphill, heavily laden.

The recent Danish election has resulted in a win for the left of center parties. The resulting coalition parties seem to be arguing over how green the country can become. With deep cuts in CO2 being discussed after years of backpedaling by the right wing coalition on many environmental issues.

The last government destroyed electric car sales overnight with massive import charges. Leaving Denmark looking anything but green in its ambitions after many years of being a vocal and practical leader.

Meanwhile the Danish cycle dealers federation are raising the alarm over the poor braking on many electric bikes and trikes. The electric load carriers in particular are heavy and often carry several children up front. Yet, ironically, are furnished with brakes more suitable for a small child's bicycle.

The cycle trade group are also worried about the fitness of many wannabe electric cyclists with no previous experience. The responsibility for training for safely riding these higher speed machines  seems to have been dumped back on the retailers.

Rather than a real desire for legislation and proper licensing to match the considerable demands of this new breed of machines. Deaths amongst cyclists are rising again after a falling trend over many years. The majority of these deaths are amongst electric bike riders. The cycle trade would rather have the El-bikes treated like motor driven mopeds and motorcycles. With the same compulsory training and licensing.

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14th June 2019 Chris Froome Hospitalised after a serious accident.

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Chris Froome has had a serious accident during training and will be off the bike for quite a long time. No repeat win of the Tour de France will be possible this year. It just goes to show the very real dangers involved in all forms of cycling. Crashes occur far too often in both competition and training as well as during normal, everyday cycling. Real people make very poor, crash test dummies. Let's not forget this. We often take it completely for granted that every rider will return unscathed. Get well soon, Chris.

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Friday 14th 62F, very cloudy and a bit breezy. Warm with sunny periods promised. It reached a scorching 66F in searing sunshine on my brisk walk to the lanes. [again] The Head Gardener accused me of counter-revolutionary activities for returning too soon for morning coffee. It's not my fault there were no hares, nor birds of prey to delay me. 

She has lost her prized, vintage, metal, flour scoop. Which is Her only tool of choice for shoveling seed compost from the endless 50kg bags to the next flower pot on Her continuous production line. It's not as if it is a family heirloom but you can really feel the tension in the air. Like a storm brewing? Wish me luck!

Tomorrow is set for a deluge but it arrived early. With rolling thunder in the afternoon around 5.00pm. Cars were overturned by a tornado in southern Denmark! A very rare occurrence here and perhaps an omen of worse to come!

Saturday 15th 61F, massive thunderstorms and torrential rain are heading north from Germany. We already have thunder and cloudbursts here. So definitely no walk without a full frogman's outfit and I am a poor swimmer anyway.

An afternoon walk between heavy showers. A highly variable, gusty wind matched the mood of the leaden sky. Amazingly the crops seemed completely untouched. Probably the result of using stalk shortening, plant technology. It used to be completely normal to see huge, flattened areas on the fields after such bad weather.

The weather experts were shocked at the sheer number of lightning strikes over eastern Denmark. [6000!]

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13th June 2019 Gotta have a scooter or three [hundred.]

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Thursday 13th 59-66F, bright with variable cloud. Last evening's intense storm passed right over us according to the radar and weather maps. We heard a couple of rumbles early on and then nothing. Odd. We are promised some sunshine today.

My concerns about electric bikes have, in hideous reality, fallen on electric, children's scooters meant for adults. Many cities are reeling under the impact of these very unlikely machines. Poor riding behaviour and abandoning the [child's] scooter in the middle of the pavement or cycle path seems to have become a [child-like] habit. 

Copenhagen is amongst other cities in introducing measures to curb the push-along, electric scooters numbers. Also to define lighting and reflector needs, maximum speeds, etc. I am struggling to imagine how such a small-wheeled machine can safely manage the everyday hurdles of city riding surfaces. Even with my 700 [28"] wheels I am constantly shaken and endlessly avoiding obstacles.

Not least all the roadside drain grills left half raised [or half closed?] by the half-hearted council attempts to lift them for cleaning the drains. Odd, isn't it? They spend billions on building countless, flash flood ponds and then completely ignore the roadside drains. It only takes a heavy dew to have a long stretch of standing water on the main road! I keep expecting to see a narrow boat or even a Viking ship plying this channel. It's a fraught experience trying to navigate one very wet, blind corner without a compass. I can attest to the fact that the Earth really is curved just there. Though the only vessels likely to fall off the edge are Audis. 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch: The Moulton required front and rear suspension to survive normal roads and is still unusual. While the small-wheeled rigid "shopper" bicycle of the last century is now a rarity. Some makes of small-wheeled bikes have their fan base but I simply can't imagine touring on one. They seem to have developed into a compactly folding city bike for well heeled commuters. You know, the kind which can afford hundreds of pounds for a tweed bag. Many Chinese variants hoping to bypass the established players.

I see quite a number of very small wheeled bikes near marinas. Where onboard stowage is obviously very limited. Small-wheeled racing bikes were banned from competition by the UCI. The same corrupt institution which held back progress towards multiple gears and any replacement for steel shod, wooden wheels. Many recumbents use smaller wheels but the UCI banned those too. I expect they'd ban me too if only they knew what to charge me with. Riding while expressing insubordination?

That doesn't stop huge numbers of riders enjoying the comfort of an arm chair. Well, they have to be comfortable for those long [and very slow] climbs. I remember destroying the seat of my home-made recumbent back in the middle of the last century when I tried to climb a local steep hill on the way home from work. The seat position fixes the pedal reach so the rest of the journey was not without its problems.

The weight of normal 700 x wheels has led to ultra-expensive, carbon fiber rims for competition. I was truly shocked at the weight of the parcel carrying my two new Durano tyres and a couple of new inner tubes. Thank goodness I didn't order three tyres! Or I'd have needed a sack truck to reach the bike shed from the front gate after the postman delivered them in his van.

So, it's not the 70kg ABUS Mini-U lock holding me back from international cycling glory after all. It's the bits which are whizzing around in full view as I travel at breakneck speeds loaded down with shopping. Your definition of "breakneck" may vary from mine. My average speed, according to the battery-hungry, Sigma computer is now down to 11mph. Oh, the awful shame of it! And I'm [only] seventy two, you know!

Just a short, half hour walk to the lanes. A hare was sitting in the  middle of the lane as a White Van Man approached from behind. The hare waited until the very last moment before dashing towards me. Then took a sharp turn into the crops. That's about as much excitement as I need in one day. Breezy now, with warm sunshine. I can feel a short ride coming on.

And so it was. A short, afternoon, shopping trip for 7 miles. Crosswind going both ways. Going well too. Reached 18mph on the flat despite the newly hacked, 69.998kg ABUS Mini-U lock lifting the font wheel at intervals. I really need a mid frame clamp for the lock. Then I'd be balanced more like a mid-engined, sports car. Rather than a Porsche. 😉

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11th June 2019 Abus software uninstallation.

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Tuesday 11th 59F, a wet and cloudy start but brightening. The wind is supposed to be low but the trees are rocking.

A warm walk to the village. Followed by a windy ride to another village to shop. Only 7 miles. 3/4 of an hour, including two supermarkets and a heavy load of shopping on the way back. Helped by more of a cross-tailwind but still under grey skies.

A Red kite circled overhead but obviously thought I was too much even for a hearty breakfast.

An update on the Abus Mini-U lock software:

The lock sitting in its usual haunt in the Overboard 40L duffel bag rear pocket. The pocket is rubberized stretchy net. Which prevents the lock jumping out while the trike is airborne on humpbacked bridges and traffic calming ramps. Velcro closure at the top of the pocket further secures the lock against negative Gs.

The second image [above right] shows the Abus software peeling off. So I removed it completely by peeling and pulling hard.

The third image [Left] shows the now naked lock. I think you will agree this is a definite upgrade on filthy, silicone rubber. [For those who care about such things.]

The fourth image shows the rubber sheathing being weighed. My calculations suggest the loss of 12g will reduce your time while "Everesting" by at least several microseconds. You will also save several tens of thousands of pounds/dollars/Euros not having to upgrade to the Super Record groupset just to save that extra 10g.

Wednesday 12th 60F, overcast with showers. Walked to the lanes between showers. A Red kite was circling low over the village church until it was "moved on" by the resident Jackdaws. It was amazing to watch how it turned small circles until it found lift. Then it gained several hundred, free feet in altitude without moving a wing.  Not even a drop of sunshine to provide a decent thermal.

It became very humid in the afternoon as we worked in the garden. Feeling as if it were 80F when it was only a rather timid 64F. The early evening was soon punctuated by thunder storms and heavy showers. We saw news videos of tennis ball sized hale, explosively hitting water, down in Berlin, Germany. So we became worried about our greenhouse as the storms headed north over Denmark. 

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10th June 2019 Let's be careful out there!

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Monday 10th 58F, overcast with hardly any wind. Another bank holiday. It was spotting with rain as I pulled on my boots and continued until my return.

A farmer arrived to spray the fields around our small hamlet. Perhaps not the best idea on a bank holiday with the expectation of children playing outside.

Not a great picture but I was trying to show the new, explosive growth after roadside tree removal. It occurred with the sale of some land.

Towering, mature trees were felled but the stumps left. Leading to a massive number of new shoots from the stumps and from the ground in between. Poplars are very prone to sucker growth from the roots. It just goes to show how soon nature recovers after such devastating human intervention. The birds probably have far more nesting places now than in the original trees.


Talking of explosions: This was the term used by the Danish media to describe the number of deaths and serious injury from electric bicycle use. Every one a personal tragedy for somebody, their family and/or friends. The toll is heavily skewed towards battery bikes rather than normal pedal cycles.

I can well imagine the problems when an elderly person buys a "battery bike." After a lifetime of slow pedal revs and usually riding under 10mph they suddenly find themselves travelling at sporting rider's speeds. Corners are far more demanding as speeds rise. Adhesion becomes critical to void sliding under the nearest vehicle. The sporting cyclists is used to countless miles of regular training at these speeds. They and the traffic, make their mistakes and learn how to survive. The newcomer to an E-bike has no experience at all.

As a cyclist with pretensions of speed and long lifetime of constant practice, it is a shock to be effortlessly overtaken by another pensioner. As a driver I have very little experience of seeing pensioners riding at these higher speeds. But, as a cyclist, I have far more sympathy and empathy for other cyclists than most. Which I carry over to my driving. I know the risks of cycling in traffic and make allowances for them.

What of all those drivers who really don't care? Their need for instant gratification in getting to work on time outweighs the needs of others. The driver's need to avoid engaging their brain in this difficult and complex task is a well known factor.

GTGP rules apply absolutely. [Got To Get Past]  Zombie mode is the norm. You see it every time they realise there is a pedestrian walking in the road. The sudden wild jerk of the steering as they surface from their habitual, driving stupor. Usually much later than one would like. Worse, are those who do not steer away, at all! They will, quite literally, mow you down! Simply because you do not exist in their daily commute cycle. You simply do not register. Does not compute.

My offside, rear view mirror on my trike does not convey the same immediacy in monitoring overtaking traffic. I do try to watch every car approaching from the rear. I keep as near to the edge of the road as possible. Those without rear view mirrors will not have a clue who, what or why anyone is overtaking. I often miss my rear view mirror when I am walking. I hear the sound of an approaching vehicle at speed but can't turn around every time. I still have to watch the road ahead and avoid the countless obstacles in my path.

Vehicle have regularly overtaken on the universal double white lines on my usual walking routes. Doing so while I was walking in the gap they need to pass the slower vehicle. Their needs are always infinitely greater than that of everybody else. They obviously feel entitled to overtake or they would not do it. It is clearly illegal but the risk of being caught is vanishingly small. To overtake when a pedestrian or cyclist is in their intended path is quite literally insane. They are effectively behaving like cold-blooded sociopaths.

Like the three "Nazi camp guards" who picked up a seriously injured pedestrian as I rode my cycle to work. They said it was necessary because his limp body "was stopping the traffic." I had stopped and pleaded with them. I warned them about broken necks and serious spinal injuries, but to no avail. These low functioning psychopaths didn't bat an eyelid. They lifted him awkwardly and dumped him [the victim] like a rag doll onto the wet pavement. Half propped up and half slumped against a garden wall. They then climbed back into their assorted cars and drove off to make up for lost time. Job done for the day.

That must have been 40 years ago but I shall never forget the callous disregard for a another human being. I suppose all criminals behave just like that. They have no empathy for their victims. Too lazy to even think about the consequences for others. The easy win is their only goal. The more stacked their predation is on their side, the bigger the win. The world's prisons are full of these deaf, dumb and blind, insanely optimistic zombies.

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8th June 2019 It's becoming a habit!

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Saturday 8th 60F, overcast and breezy. Walked to the lanes under a grey sky with blue splodges. Breeze building nicely to keep it cool. I may be allowed out to trike to another village in our desperate search for tea. Seven miles there with a possible detour should I fail. I could be looking at another 20+ ride. Where will it end?

The news is that electric cars are still under 1% in Denmark. The recent change to a more centrist government might lead to government bribes to potential buyers. The extreme right have lost half of their seats this time around. So there might be a dash of green in any new taxation changes. 

On the same theme, there is a worry about a blossoming market for tuning products for electric cycles. This is despite there being only a few about so far. The 25kph class [15mph] petrol mopeds/scooters already enjoyed a strong after-market tuning products.

Having ordinary 25kph El-cycles tuned to reach 60kph [40mph] could lead to some nasty accidents. They just aren't designed for such speeds. Nor are their riders. Many bikes will be based on cheap Chinese products with very doubtful specs and completely inadequate brakes. It would take a very serious hill to reach 40mph on an ordinary bicycle. I seriously doubt there are many in Denmark for would-be, land speed record novices to practice on first. I sometimes see 30mph on the longest and steepest local hills on my trike.

Having novice El-riders competing with ordinary pedal cycles on the already crowded cycle paths is not going to end well. It probably means Draconian government measures to limit the damage from dire headlines caused by an El- terrorist few. Which will probably cause a massive backlash against El-cycle sales.

Many ordinary cyclists can't behave themselves already. With mobile phone use and a complete lack of signalling widespread. The El-bike offers a genuine alternative to the car for short commutes. You can probably arrive at work without needing a shower and complete change of clothes. Why aren't commuters PAID TO TRAVEL TO WORK ON A CYCLE instead of the taking the car?

How will the young El-retards possibly resist pulling wheelies away from the lights to prove their innate idiocy? I pull accidental wheelies all the time, on my trike. Though only when I'm trying to distance the pedalling hordes away from the lights in the city.

Because of my wider track I don't have the luxury of passing easily when I need to overtake another cyclist. So I have to be in front of the crowd from the very off. Very few "normal" cyclists ever catch me up.

Perhaps I should move my 70kg ABUS Mini-U lock up to the front? That might help to keep the nose on the ground. It may also explain the regular wheelies from having it stowed behind the rear axle line!

The ABUS anti-gravity software is peeling off badly now. If I stripped it all off I could probably save the equivalent, in weight, from moving up a couple of stages in the strict class regime of equipment group snobbery. I imagine I could become a Super-Record groupie without spending a single penny! Well, apart from having to stop at field gates every so often to "admire the view."

Today, I set off into a gusty gale of a headwind and almost wished I hadn't. One of the steepest local hills was straight into the wind. I was sheltered up half way but was already breathless from the previous descent just trying to maintain forward motion! 3/4 of the way up I hit a wall of wind and my own personal wall. There was noting else for it but to engage crawler gear. 34 teeth it was and to hell with my international reputation as a mountain goat! The following descent was little better. Still on the inner ring and pedalling hard while I buried myself in the top tube.

 I arrived at the remote supermarket to find the doors closed. A power cut had severed the thin skin of what passes for civilisation in those parts. Not my day at all! I hung about for ten minutes but there was no sign of them opening. So, ever onwards, with the wind now behind the hedge on my right. On the edge of the village I warned a walker that the shop was closed, thinking that was their goal and that I'd save them a wasted journey. He turned out to be British. So we chatted for a few minutes before I pressed onwards under darkening skies.

The gods of organic tea retailing were in my favour at the next village supermarket. So I bought their entire stock [5 packets] and staggered back out to the trike under the massive load. Now with a tailwind I was averaging about 16mph on the return journey by another route. Dodging errant gravel and fallen pine cones on the cycle paths became the order of the day.

There was a final port of call in the last village. Before it started spitting with rain as the wind turned more cross than tail. That's another 21 miles under my belt and off my [relaxed] waistline. This is becoming a habit! 😲

I can no longer use my Topeak JoeBlow Sport track pump because it has a proprietary rubber sealing bung. The rubber has worn away on the HP valve side which wont allow sufficient seal to hold the valve open.  Any extra air pressure just leaks out around the valve. Replacements parts are available but the postage makes a complete mockery of the purchase price.

I need more Schwalbe Durano Plus tyres in 700x25C but the cheapest online dealer doesn't have the Topeak repair kit. I was hoping to combine the purchase to save on postage. Whoopee! Found both items at one online dealer and placed an order.

Sunday 9th 56-67F bright, overcast and still blowing a gale. With the trees thrashing about. The wind is expected to ease off slowly during the day. I still don't have an excuse for a ride so far. Walked down the road and then up to the woods via the main track. Light and shadow played on the shining crops. As bright waves raced each other across the prairie.

It was a stunningly beautiful morning to be out in the wind under tumbling cumulus. Skylarks twittered overhead as warblers nattered busily in the roadside trees. Each being easily outdone by piercing Chaffinches more used to competing with the traffic. A speeding sky of 50% cloud and blue patches.

Click on any image for an enlargement.

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7th June 2019 A terrifying absence of tea!

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Friday 7th 55F, calm, bright, grey and much cooler. Sunshine promised. After the last few day's rants I had better calm down for a bit. I might sneak a ride in today.

An hour and a half walk through the far woods and back along the road. The latter took a full half hour despite a steady pace. The council has been cutting the verges. Making off-road progress much safer to avoid the traffic.

 I took 56 photos and saw one deer. Many of my pictures were spoilt by "burnt out" areas from bright sunshine. Bright overcast is much more forgiving for woodland scenes thanks to more even lighting.

Left at 11am for a ride to several villages in the hope of finding organic, English Breakfast tea. It was a stock item for years but now there is none of any variety. Six supermarkets later and I was still without. Going surprisingly well even on the climbs. A very hilly route for 23 miles in all. Some readers may consider 23 miles a trifle excessive just for a cup of tea. I have gone up to 83 miles, several times, without one in the past.

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5th June 2019 Lies, damned lies and Danish retail!

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Wednesday 5th 69-75F! Warm, bright and breezy. With a milky sky and high cloud. Despite a restless night I seem to have completely missed the overnight thunder and torrential rain. The promised, maximum temperature has been reigned back to only 25C or 77F for today.

The news is that Danish road deaths and serious injuries are not heading the right way. The warning is to ditch the mobile phone and concentrate on the task in hand.

Walked down the road then along the main track to the woods in T-shirt and my lightweight walking trousers. Then circumnavigated the prairie and returned along the overgrown edge of the marsh. Which meant wading through waist-high grass, nettles, docks and thistles. My trousers were soon wet up to the knees.

The birds accompanied me everywhere I went. Darting about and singing. Or just waiting to see what I'd do in the case of a very tame wagtail. It was pleasantly warm in veiled sunshine as I took 41 snaps of the gorgeous countryside.

Thursday 6th 72-78-80-70-66F, bright but sometimes cloudy. Thunderstorms forecast again for after lunch. Walked to the lanes in steamy warmth. Then trailered another mass of prickly hedge clippings to the recycling yard. Where everything was a complete mess after a bank holiday. Without a front loader to push back central Denmark's, entire holiday hedge clippings, it had spread over the entire yard!

Shopped in the car. The supermarkets had no stock of everyday items again. It must be a license to print money to be able to fail so often and still survive. Or are they just money laundering and these failing branches just a perfect cover? The staff get worse and worse. Or younger and younger. Or both! "Don't get in the way of the staff!"

It's the total lack of consumer protection, in Denmark, I suppose. That, and a monopoly in every type of retail outlet and its monopoly "named" stock.

It's the same online. Identical websites whatever the virtual business name at the top. They all use the same central wholesaler so really can't guarantee anything at all. They're all box shifters who don't give a shit about taking your money on the flimsiest of virtual promises.

The same information on stock levels on every website. The same empty promises of stock and 1-2 days delivery from ordering if you get in before 4.30pm, or whatever. That is, until you have confirmed and paid for your order and then they get to play monopoly money with your card purchase for a whole week. With delivery now over a fortnight away from these same, online crooks. Let's just call it plain, damned lies! Why should they behave any differently when the bricks and mortar businesses are also lying through their teeth?

The morality of many Danish, household, retail names is far too near the borderline to deliberate fraud. They would almost certainly be making the headlines for another prosecution and a massive fine in the UK.

Advertising stock and special offers which literally do not exist? Check! "Upgraded" stock which costs far more than the advertised product? [Just extra product insurance!] Check! Advertised special offers which turn out to be customer returns and ex-demo models? Check!!

Weekly lies, advertised as special offers, which never arrive at the supermarket outlets? It is now so commonplace that the staff no longer even blink. "We never had it in," trips off their forked tongues without even needing to engage their shelf-filling brains. That is when you can even get their attention. Or reach them within shouting distance behind their barricades of loaded pallets. Which are illegally blocking the shop's aisles in the event of a fire or other emergency.

Well, it is is certainly illegal elsewhere. I worked briefly in big shed retail in the UK years ago and the managers were red hot on keeping the aisles clear even back then. With a minimum height of island display [or shelf filling pallet load] to avoid any risk of tripping. Denmark? It's total, retail [and online] anarchy! Shop at your own peril! Bring your own knee pads. Expect to have to wait ages for a skeleton staff to get around to your turn.

Outside temperatures reached 80F before dropping back to 72F and then on down over the afternoon after an overcast rolled over.

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4th June 2019 The £60 [one use] NASA expedition gloves.

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Tuesday 4th 58-72F, calm with a bright, milky sky and cloud. Yesterday's thunder storm warning expired without incident. It has remained dry today as I walked to the lanes before attacking the 20' prickly hedge again.

I used to ride up [and down] this hill when I first had my Higgins. 

The 1954 trike came with rather tired, sprints and tubs [tubular tyres] which proved extremely vulnerable to the local farmer's roughly clipped thorny hedges. I escaped the problem by having Trykit build me a couple of high pressure wheels and to supply his clever 2WD cassette hub and journal bearing axles A combination which allowed me to ride year-round regardless of some very wintry weather.

It took considerably more time to find suitable cycling clothing in the charity shops spread over a 30 mile radius. Eventually, I had found several cycling jackets. Between which I could pick and choose depending on temperature and conditions just before I left home. Later on i gathered a number of cycling jerseys which I would wear over very thin and inexpensive thermal [skiing] underwear. Which were bought on special offers at local supermarkets.

Thick thermal underwear is a disaster waiting to happen. Because it soaks up sweat on a climb then turns to ice on the next descent. A cyclist does not need warmth. They provide their own warmth by hard exercise. What they need is breathable but wind-proof outer shells. My now, rather old-fashioned, cycling jackets were very thick compared with the modern materials but did and still do the job within their strict temperature ranges.

Only years later did I discover GripGrab "Nordic" winter gloves [or rather split mitts.] I had tried a range of light motorcycling gloves with many limitations. Far too stiff and sweaty if used above a certain temperature but I had no real alternatives back then.

I travelled countless thousand miles on my trike in very real pain from freezing cold hands. Even trying layers of thin gloves to try and stop the wind blowing straight through. The GG "Nordic" lobster-claw mitts are thin, light, quite breathable and windproof. They have rarely failed me though they offer little real warmth in themselves. Which is exactly as it should be for cycling. Better on a trike than walking in cold weather. Simply because walking does not warm the extremities like a proper cycle ride on an undulating route.

Others only pretended to be winter gloves. Soon proving to be 180% bullshit mixed with 190% hype. One well know and expensive "name" turned inside out on my first ride when I stopped for a call of nature. Leaving me completely gloveless in cold conditions many miles from home.

It was impossible to ever turn them back the correct way again. Even using a variety of suitable tools like knitting needles they refused to budge. The considerable expense had me trying repeatedly to redeem my loss on the first expensive gloves I had ever bought!

The catastrophic failure was due to a truly vast, hand-shaped lining of a greasy, polythene-like material. Which was stuffed loosely between two layers of different cloth gloves. Had they been secured at the finger tips against inversion they might just have worked. They weren't, and I suffered very real agony on the return journey because of their lies and incompetence.

As soon as my hands became warm, the inner, fleece liners stuck like shit to a blanket. Just what you need for a claimed "expedition" glove! Perhaps they meant they could be used to pack the expedition equipment back at home? Before being discarded to the nearest refuse bin? A sort of £60, one-use glove from one of NASA's regular suppliers.

I can't bring myself to name names in case they sue me. I sent my light motorcycling [scooter] gloves to a friend of a friend. Who rode without gloves all winter because he could not afford any while working in the takeaway industry.

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3rd June 2019 Another cyclist dies.

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Monday 3rd 67F! Bright periods but rather cloudy again. Possible rain this afternoon. 

Andreas, the 18-year-old cyclist, in collision with a car during a time trial at Odder, has died. My deepest sympathies to everyone who knew this talented young cyclist. It seems he was in a head-on collision with a car which had entered a road closed for the Tour de Himmelfart. [Himmelfart Rundt] One of the largest cycling events in Europe for young, amateur riders. 

Cyclists risk their lives on every ride. Drivers only risk their paintwork. And even that, is [sometimes] insured. Vast numbers of Danes,  who were driving without insurance, have suddenly bought insurance after being threatened with a fine for every single day they drive without insurance.

Now all they need to do is solve the problem of all those drivers without a valid driving license. Whether they never owned one, had it taken away after "an accident" or for dangerous driving, or driving while drunk or drugged. Or continuing to drive when they became too old to drive safely.

Driving without a license, means no insurance, no taxation and inevitably means no periodic safety checks on the vehicle. How difficult can it be to identify the status of every vehicle on the road using smart cameras? Oh, I forgot. The absolute, basic human right to privacy while committing any crime in Denmark.

Today I had an anticlockwise walk. Up the steep climb to the woods, down the main track and then back along the road. I disturbed a deer browsing in the beech woods and it bounded off. Zigzagging off through the trees. The forest tracks are very overgrown. Making progress though the brambles, nettles and chest high grass quite a struggle. Fortunately the undergrowth wasn't wet today.

I was grateful for the growing breeze to help keep me cool on the last leg. The sun has now disappeared behind thick cloud as we reach 71F. There is a warning of thunderstorms and cloudbursts leading to possible flash flooding this afternoon.

The cycling news includes a race team leader beating up a spectator. He was brought down by one of of those drooling, attention seekers who run for a few yards beside the cyclists to make it real and give them bragging rights when they are allowed back into the lunatic asylum after the race. This idiot was forced to swerve around another idiot spectator standing in the road to make it real.  "Care in the community" has a lot to answer for!

Oh, and a "hoodie" deliberately dropped an unroadworthy bicycle in the path of the leading group on a tour. His repeated hand gestures suggest he was denied a bicycle in a previous life. So nobody else should be allowed one either. "Care in the community" has a lot to answer for. Another spectator dashed across the road to remove the bike but missed the front wheel which had dropped out of the forks.

12.00 Another few hours spent clipping the overgrown beech hedge. It has reached 73F and feels sweltering hot outdoors. Much cooler indoors at "only" 77F. Birds of prey are circling high overhead. Unknown birds with strange calls from somewhere in what remains of the still tall, prickly hedges.

Another trip to the recycling yard to dump another heaped trailer of clippings and branches.

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2nd June 2019 Freedom to JINGLE-JANGLE over speech.

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Sunday 2nd 59-73.5F bright with some cloud and a light breeze. Today we are promised 25C/77F and sunny periods again. After yesterday's, grey failure to perform I am not keeping my fingers nor toes crossed. Not least because it inhibits normal movement. What a beautiful morning for a walk! Spring, or even early summer seemed to have arrived quite suddenly. All the familiar views have been obscured by new foliage.

Everything is green or covered in flowers. Bright waves move across the glistening crops. Every tree and hedgerow is full of birdsong. Sunday's absence of traffic noise allowed even the quieter birds to be heard clearly from their shady hiding places. Though don't ask me what some of them were.

A south-easterly breeze helped to cool me as I walked back into the brilliant sunshine. Even at a modest 63F/17C it felt very warm. Sheets of thin, stippled cloud helped to decorate the scene of rural tranquillity. It reach 70F by 12.30 so it may get warmer still.

Spent the morning cutting a 15' beech hedge back to about 13' just for the exercise. I really need a line to go by. As my going by eye is proving inadequate. Finding stakes that tall for a cord line might be a problem. I highly recommend aluminium, Japanese style, tripod stepladders. They are not only light but  incredibly stable because of the wide, flared base to the steps. Despite having collected so many other ladders over the years I am really enjoying the new ones. I often just lean them into the hedge without bothering with the third, adjustable leg. Works a treat if the top end of the ladder is "busy" enough to provide plenty of resistance.

Amazingly, I found a Danish stockist who only charges a fraction of the UK prices and saved myself heavy, international freight charges to boot. Assuming, of course, any UK or German stockist was willing to deal with me. The "big name" ladders are horribly expensive even online! The Head Gardener would never have allowed it despite it being Her Idea. Praise be Her name!

I used to tie a shorter ladder across the top rungs of a builder's two stretch until the huge cross became too heavy for me to lift safely upright above 15'. So I'm happy to have a lighter alternative. As is my gardening Supervisor thanks to my greater mobility. 😉

Today, I opened YouTube to look for an informative video, as you do, but unusually, without signing in. It was a bit of a shock! To say the least! Apart from all the absolute pop dross with which I was presented, there was a video on freedom of speech, in Danish in Denmark, by the Danish National TV Service. DR.

Allow me to state, here and now, that playing a loud jingle behind legal advice is about as far from reality as one is ever likely to come across. Even in Denmark. Countless 100,000s of non-Danish speaking bods may well find themselves struggling with this gibbering idiocy. I could say that "heads should roll" but I believe that is actually against Danish law. At least as far as I could tell. I was simultaneously listening to a Danish law expert, speaking softly, in Danish, behind a wall of JANGLING JINGLE! 

An experience suitable only for a thrash metal, music fan, Guantanamo inmates or the Korean DMZ! No offence meant to any of them. [Just in case!] So, any ignorance on my part, of the Danish laws on freedom of speech is now strictly thanks to DR TV's drooling [educational video] editing staff.

I imagine the technical staff at DR have to double as [infant] children's programme sound editors too. While DR may enjoy double the TV license fee of Gravely Blighted there are an awful lot less Danes than Brits. So, while the BBC can sport literally hundreds of multimillion salary, sports presenters [and sports experts] DR must make do on a [relative] shoestring. Besides the Danes only play basketball and cycle race. So there's not much demand for spectator sport TV slebs.

After all, it's not as if these DR folk can claim to <cough> work for the BBC. Where such deliberately ignorant behaviour is completely second nature. The BBC is ever faithful to the demands of their [landed] superiors. A bit like Labradors really. As this branch of the <cough> intelligence services works tirelessly to dumb down the entire UK populace. To somewhere between a brain-damaged sheep [which has just fallen off a Welsh cliff] and a gnat recently swallowed by a goldfish. [No gnats, sheep or goldfish were hurt in the writing of this nonsense.] I really must get out on the trike more to re-balance my world view.

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