15 Jan 2018

15th January 2018 McSlob's McSlob litter problem.

Monday 15th 32-35F, 0-2C, very windy, dark and overcast. Gusting to 20m/s or 45mph later with wintry showers. Dry at the moment so I may well risk a walk to do a physical count of the latest carpet bombing by McSlob's McSlobs.

In breaking news, scientists have described the "toxic, radioactive, curry-diarrhoea-coloured yellow ochre" of McSlob's litter marketing as outrageous. Particularly when far more acceptable colours are available for litter. It is not as if green and brown camouflage is still patented!

The team's conclusion is that the hideous colour was deliberately chosen for its close resemblance to a well filled baby's nappy after a family visit to a McSlobs outlet. The sight of a soiled nappy [diaper] is said to cause a sudden, major shift in parenting hormones amongst the most easily susceptible to binge eating and breeding. The lead author of the paper went so far to suggest that McSlobs is deliberately trying to draw attention to its litter. In order to excite the drool buds of passing McSlob's customers.

The increase in fuel consumption as they all race to the nearest McSlobs, for a fresh fix of the gaudy ochre, could easily disrupt many country's precarious, balance of payments. McSlob's share price was down in the dumps in after-hours, litter trading.

Rumours persist on the Dusky Web that McSlobs was really started by future time travelers. This was supposedly a desperate attempt to thin out their "standing room only" overpopulation problem. They are alleged to have planted the seed of a business idea in an entrepreneurial psychopath's mind and it sort of mushroomed from there. Burp!

Though I am not fully convinced by their arguments myself. Because the "evidence" could just as easily be read as a way to improve future intelligence levels by standard, Darwinian methods.

I walked to the marsh to disturb fidgety herons and a pair of rocket-propelled Shelducks. The few remaining Mallards just moved quickly and quietly to the far side of the pond and watched me nervously. I was grateful for my wrap-around safety glasses as I turned straight into the gale. Though, yet again, I was overdressed at that point having just climbed the steeply sloping, fire breaks up through the lower forest. The ground remains well frozen. Making for relatively secure going where is is usually very wet indeed.

Click on any image for an enlargement.


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