30th April 2018 WOTW II Director's Cut!

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Monday 30th 51-49F, 11-9C, bright overcast start with gales. 40mph winds with heavy rain forecast for later. I was literally leaning on the wind on my walk. The birds were fighting for control too. Luckily I just made it home before the first shower.

Very odd cloud formations to the south just before 11am as the sky was split into bars. Down below the sky looked angry and almost violet.

Mid-morning things became really weird. The southerly sky turned into dark, sharply defined bands as it became darker and darker by the minute. After ten minutes outside, capturing the strange sky, the gales have dropped to zero. As we retreated indoors it soon turned to thunder and torrential rain and hail outside. The hail was stacking up on the greenhouse roof.

I had taken three, short videos of the sky. But when I tried to play the first there was no picture but a heavily distorted, alien voice-over. The Panasonic software told me there was an error and broke off the download. Yet, strangely, the videos would open in Windows Media Player if I "Opened file." Very odd indeed.

Soon it was so dark indoors we needed to put the lights on just to see across the room. Cars are still racing along the road leaving wakes as they rush to their own. Hail and rain continue to fall to almost continuous loud thunder and local lightning flashing flashes.

A slightly later image of the sky towards the southwest. Darker and rougher clouds were sliding under the clearly defined bars still crossing the sky. It was all a bit WOTW without the infantile, Hollywoohoo, pseudo-scientific bullshit.

Had it not been so windy I was actually planning a 20 mile cycle ride today.

The Danish Meteorological Institute website is bang right up to date and showing a band of lightning-filled, heavy rain crossing Denmark on its radar. The bad weather took a little over an hour to pass over before the sky slowly brightened to the south. Steady rain was still falling. While jagged flashes of lightning, accompanied by heavy thunder, are still rumbling away just to our north.

Even after six pm, it was still pouring down. Though the winds have fallen light. With the entire length of the drive under standing water. The DMI recorded 11,000 lightning strikes today. With several houses set on fire or had their wiring damaged. Germany has had its warmest April since records began in 1881 and the UK its warmest April in nearly 70 years. 

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29th April 2018: Natural spring.

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Friday 27th 50-60F, 10-11C, bright but windy. A deliberately brisk walk to the village and back in light traffic.

Saturday 28th 50-54F, 10-12C, bright but rather cloudy with light winds. Walked around the rural block. Only about three miles.When I first started riding again I used to thrash around the block and then need a lie down. Unbelievable when I think back about it but it shows how unfit I was for cycling. Even though I did a lot of lifting at work I was pot bellied and flabby from years of free Danish pastries and drinking lots of milk. It took some time before I could manage ten miles while trying to ride as fast as possible all the time. A habit I learned in my youth and could never break. The silly old devil never learns.

I was allowed out for a Saturday morning shop in a side wind. Doing 20mph for a while. Though it was bumpy going where the new cycle path still hasn't been properly surfaced. I was maintaining mid-90s rpm with stints up to 110. Well laden on the way back. Saw a Harrier on one side of the road and another smaller raptor with a strangely yellow back and jet black wing tips on the other side of the road. The smaller bird  disappeared into a stand of fuel willows. My new DHB  shorts were comfortable and didn't slip down like the old ones when I stood up on the pedals. I climbed several 200 yard hills out of the saddle today and seemed to be going remarkably well.

Sunday 29th 52F, bright overcast, still. I walked to the far beech woods to capture spring with my camera. Saw several Hares again. More geese with no sense of direction and flying in noisy circles. The smaller birds were sleeping in today. Only later did they begin to show themselves. Too busy for  a ride. Yesterday was the first sign of 'weekend warriors' out training. I saw several solo cyclists but still no groups.

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23rd April 2018 Google demands £17 billion handout from its victims.

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Monday 23rd 53-58F, 12-14C, heavy overcast and breezy. It seems that Google wants a £17 billion windfall from taxing those who use its Drive backup service. How much tax will Google pay on its massive windfall? My calculations are based on a nominal one billion user base. i.e.Those who need more than the paltry 15GB Google offers in exchange for collecting all our inside leg measurements and then selling them to the highest bidder. £17 per annum is the price of increasing storage to the next level above "Free." Meaning that your private information is exchanged with advertisers to subsidize their expenses. Leading to even more [tax free] profits.

The news is that Google and Apple are both planning to build several massive data centers in Denmark. They will use vast quantities of electricity at prices which Danish private consumers can only dream of after a drunken night out.

Jut getting these vast, tax-free monopolies to shed their excess heat for local house warming is not even guaranteed. It actually has to be negotiated! Otherwise the "unwanted" heat would probably be dumped straight into the sea. Just as the Atlantic Current is weakening and record temperatures make weekly headline news. If power corrupts then Googles of power corrupts absolutely.

Talking of electricity: Remember the Danish government which utterly destroyed private electric car sales overnight by introducing massive import taxes? You know the basic idea: A country highly reliant on wind power but which has no means [at all] of electricity storage. So they are forced to give any excess power away to the European grid. Well now the same lot want half a million electric cars on the Danish roads by 2350 at the absolute earliest.  Half a million cars will make a huge storage battery. But much too late!

Are they intending to reduce import charges on the huge fleet of F35 US fighters which they intend to buy? They obviously see themselves as an emerging superpower and all round political big hitter in global defense politics. Population 5.7m. These fighter aircraft are so noisy that they will have to be stationed on floating, artificial islands out at sea with the offshore wind farms. Denmark is far too small for such noisy aircraft to be allowed to take off and land in its own countryside! Think Concorde and add a couple of noughts! Including the price! Just the real price the Danes are paying in voting for ever more right wing parties in a desperate bid to end decades of open immigration. Give any of them a whiff of a mandate and you get the whole right wing baggage. Warts and all. Too busy for a ride today.

Tuesday 24th 50F, 10C, gales building, heavy overcast with showers forecast. I have just watched a blackbird do a 180° in mid air, fly backwards for another yard and then land effortlessly [and still backwards] onto a tree branch. I only managed half a mile before it started raining and it felt like sandblasting being driven by the wind. The pale bird of prey is still mourning the loss of its trees. It has been hanging around on the tree stumps right from the beginning of the clearance. Even standing right beside the noisy tractors which were loading whole trees into the giant wood chipper.

Aren't you thoroughly sick of reading about copycat serial murderers? I know I am. Never mind about shooting them dead. Aim for the raving fuckwit's kneecaps. See how important they feel after receiving a life sentence without appeal in a wheelchair. Their victims had no defense nor right of appeal.

No ride today. I was avoiding psychopaths and retards who can afford cars but not a conscience. Insurance and relative anonymity are just an excuse to behave like total fuckwits. I cannot ride or take a single walk down the road without putting my own life in very real danger. It's been happening for my entire life and still they get away with it!  Why should I have to walk on the verge just to stay alive? Am I supposed to ride on the verge too? I'm not allowed to cycle on the empty pavements. Though even here there is absolutely no guarantee some fuckwit won't try and attack you.

Wednesday 25th 50F, 10C, breezy to windy. Overcast with rain clearing. No walk as I had another early appointment in the car which brought back a week's worth of shopping. Sunshine and showers later while I worked outside until it poured down.

Thursday 26th 48F, 9C, cloudy start brightening to breezy sunshine. With the Ecco boots finally behaving [well almost] I enjoyed a longer walk. Saw a hare and the first Swallows of the year. The lack of tricycling is leading to weight gain. The BBC says I have joined the bat barsteward society. I'm pushing 13 stone in everyday clothes. I had better get some miles in! But not today.

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18th April 2018: Too hot to trot.

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Wednesday 18th 50-70F, light winds, lots of blue sky and white clouds. Warm sunshine promised. As is an early ride to an appointment. It seems my brother has been hiding his skills at replacing vinyl saddle covers. Lot of useful advice if I should attack the old Vetta. Now I just need to find some magenta vinyl and some decent contact adhesive. Appointment mission accomplished with some shopping thrown in. Only 7 miles.

Thursday 19th 56-70F, light winds with more bright sunshine. Even without a jumper I was too warm on my longer walk up through the woods today. Lots of birds singing, particularly in the forest where I saw  a Coal tit. A large and very pale bird of prey was resting on a small tree away across the fields. The farmers were very busy all day getting a tilth and sewing their fields. You would not believe the dust. Nor the stench of weapons grade pig shit! No ride today but I should have checked the highest temperature. London had 29C a 70-year record.

Friday 20th 54-76!F, light breeze and bright sunshine. Another scorcher is promised. There is only a brief window when the birds are singing and can be easily seen. It takes only a couple of warm days for the leaves and blossom to explode and conceal the wildlife from [my] view. Working on a project in the garden, in hot sunshine, meant another day without a ride.

 http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/20180416 balancing 50 boxes on a bicycle.

Saturday 21st 45-55F, 7-13C, misty but clearing to sunshine. Lower temperatures expected. There was 100 yard mist when I left to walk up to the woods. The right Ecco boot is finally behaving itself. The mist cleared and returned at intervals as the views shrank and opened up again.

A large tractor, doubled wheels, front and back, was sewing the prairie as I worked my away along the edge of the forest. On the descent two hares ran up to me. I remained perfectly still and kept snapping away with my camera. It took them ages to decide I wasn't a tree before galloping off in completely opposite directions. A big bucket loader was being used to collect field stones on the way back.

A late morning ride with a crosswind to more distant shops . An elderly moron with a trailer pulled out from a junction right across my path when I was doing 20mph. I must remember to shout Idiot! in a Danish accent next time. It sounds more like idiote in Danish. 15 miles.

Sunday 22nd 44-64F, 7-18C, calm and bright but cloudy. Short walk to get some exercise. It became breezier later but I was too busy for a ride. A Goshawk circled overhead in the afternoon. It was warm and cool at intervals depending on the wind.

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16th April 2018 I'm 71, you know! 😎

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Monday 16th 42-60F, misty, heavy grey overcast but calm again. Another day without wind turbines? Where will it all end? It sounds as if the Gulf Stream is badly weakening. So will we have a New Ice Age here in newly chilly Europe? Can you even imagine the impact on everyday life? Down-filled, silk ties will become the new, standard, business wear.

We will all have to drink government-subsidized vodka before setting off to work, just to get warm. Hypothermic, old people will be propped up by the dustbins on Thursdays. To be taken away by a new fleet of black recycling lorries with curtained side windows. Nothing will grow in the fields and they will turn to sprawling forests full of chainsawing lumberjacks making [wet] firewood. Wolves and bears will forage beside hungry humans outside McSlobs soup kitchens. Two wheel drive will become compulsory on delta pedal tricycles.

I was able to get nearer the Nuthatch today. It was perched at a deep hole in a tree trunk. Through my binoculars it was clearly a Nuthatch in every respect. The light breeze was slightly cool on my hands but I was soon comfortable apart from the Ecco right boot. Which continues to nag at my ankle.

I set off north after morning coffee with a light tailwind. It allowed me to cruise at 18-20mph and even 15mph on a long uphill drag. A black BMW went past at about 100mph after overtaking a whole chain of cars, on a blind hump, just before a village. Returned heavily laden at half my outgoing speed. Only 14 miles. The Vetta saddle allows me to lie low over the handlebars which the Brooks did not. I had to stop and adjust the tilt slightly as I was sliding forwards after swapping back to the Vetta. I could really do with a micro-adjusting pillar.

Tuesday 17th 43-60F, 6-15C, grey and very misty with some sunshine promised for later. The Danish police have announced they are to have a blitz on speeding with their camera vans. They could easily repay the national debt of several European countries inside a week, from a single camera. But this is considered to be against the basic human rights of the criminally insane. So they advertise in the press so the criminally insane can pause briefly in their normal behaviour before flooring it as soon as the "danger" is passed.

I read somewhere that the Danes' speeding as the only known example of belligerence in their otherwise placid acceptance of all their <cough> leaders throw at them. Or rather take away from them in endless taxes on taxes on taxes. The Danes are not normally given to shows of independent thought or action. Except behind the wheel when their true characters can really come out.

Like the nut job who tried to run me down on the cycle path because I carefully adjusted his wing mirror when he was completely blocking the cycle path to my trike's further progress. He had stopped for a chat with the owner of a roadside house.

Unlike terrorism, mass or serial murder and child molesting, adjusting wing mirrors is a capital offense in Denmark [apparently.] But that's psychopaths for you. They always claim the victim was the reason for their serial, murderous behaviour. "He/she made me do it!" They scream hoarsely in their defense. When there is none.

Had I shown a video on YouTube of the psychopath deliberately trying to kill me, as an elderly tricyclist on the kerb-protected cycle path, it is I who would have been prosecuted. NOT the murderous, raving nut job behind the wheel. Who would cheerfully have been awarded damages for my intrusion into his private life. While the cell door slammed shut on yours truly.Who else do we know who blames the victim? Oh, yes, that's right.


Very few birds on my walk today. The traffic was quite light, but of the couple of dozen vehicles I saw, not one had a rear fog light lit. Several had no lights showing at all despite it being compulsory to show dipped headlights 24x7 in Denmark. Several were driving on side lights. Vehicles were completely invisible at 200 yards and only soft silhouettes at 100 yards.

The mist was visible as small clouds moving slowly across the landscape within only a few yards of me, against the dark soil. Too busy, in a parallel universe, for a ride.

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14th April 2018: Are you sitting comfortably?

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Saturday 14th 50F, 10C, grey overcast but almost calm. With the wind turbines standing still. Lots of birds being birds on my walk. It is pleasant not to have to fight a gale.

I forgot to mention that I put the Brooks B17 'Special' saddle back on now the weather has improved. That was a serious mistake! It hurt like hell as I seemed to be sitting on bits of me which suddenly hurt. Bits which haven't hurt at all while riding on the Vetta SL MTB [whatever.]

So now I am right back to square one. I need a less tatty saddle than the old Vetta which is getting very scruffy around the edges. None of the other saddles I've tried work for me. The Brooks C17 rubber jobby was a total disaster! It took days to recover from the damage it did on a few short rides. Hard as rocks, all thanks to the GRP reinforcement needed to cope with foolish, lifetime guarantees and 500lb 'weekend warriors' across The Pond!

I have put the Vetta back on in the absence of any alternative choice. I could try recovering it with new vinyl. There are several useful descriptions online. Discussions about the breathability of leather versus vinyl is rather foolish given the impermeability of the plastic carcass and foam underlays of "artificial" saddles.

Marine, upholstery vinyl gets a good press online for recovering bicycle saddles. Though forum members have tried all sorts of materials with reasonable success. I can still remember the pain of owning a Unica Nitor saddle in my youth. It did thousands of miles when thin leather chamois was the only padding inside the knitted cycle shorts of the day. Add that to the Unica's naked plastic body and longer rides were spent looking for a chance to stand up on the pedals!

Sunday 15th 46F, calm, misty and grey. Some days just seem very odd. Today being Sunday, one would not expect much traffic. Wrong! A convoy of literally dozens of cars passed me nose to tail. The leader deliberately tried to run me down but missed. The rest all swerved to avoid me because they had to. They were all much too close to each other an it was like the dodgems seeing them jerk away from the verge on autopilot. And still they kept coming in smaller numbers.

Perhaps they were giving away free booze in the next village? Talking of which: The McSlob's litter slob has been on holiday. Or perhaps a <cough> crash diet? Or perhaps again, the smashed bottles of vodka on the same stretch of road suggest something darker about the culprit? They are now drink driving to forget their craving for an early death?

The aggressive Coot has moved on from the roadside pond after several years of failing to produce young. His place has been taken by a pair of rather shy Mallards. I have a new bird to identify. It was sitting on a huge tree trunk in the churchyard and calling loudly and insistently above the traffic noise. Small, with smooth, pale grey all over with white cheeks below the eyes. I'm going to have to call it a Nuthatch, from its call, but not its appearance. Too busy for a ride today.

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9th April 2018 Fasten your chinstraps!

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Monday 9th 49F, 9C, calm and rather cloudy though with patches of blue. It was bright but the sun never really broke trough the clouds. As I invested another hour and a quarter in walking for longevity and fitness. Still struggling with the Ecco boots on my right ankle. I was much too warm @ 55F despite downgrading to my shorter, autumn/spring Balfour jacket.

Walking back along the marsh I spotted a beautiful and identical pair of Red-necked grebes. They didn't seem too bothered by my presence as the Mallards retreated away across the big pond in panic. The Grebes were too far away to be worth a picture and the sun was badly placed behind them anyway. Lots of different birds about today. With several thrushes shouting the odds from the tree tops. I saw my first pair of starlings for this year in our own, giant, white willow. Didn't see a single bird of prey today. Which is quite unusual.

Tuesday 10th 45-50F, rather overcast with gales building. It was absolutely perishing today wearing exactly the same clothes in which I was far too warm yesterday. My ear lobes were streaming with tears from my eyes. My hands stuffed in my pockets as I huddled in my bum freezer, spring walking jacket. The birds seemed unmoved as they chased each other along the hedgerows. A hundred Fieldfares swarmed around field trees before alighting for a rest. Too busy for a ride.

Wednesday 11th 44-50F, 7-10C, bright but with gales making it feel much cooler. Walked to the village and back. The Ecco boots have almost given up their last resistance. The right boot starts off hurting but I eventually become numb to the pain. The birds were on afterburner today. Shooting across the landscape like projectiles. No wonder, with the wind roaring in the hedges!

The Head Gardener wisely suggested I return to the winter jacket and I was grateful for its protective qualities today. The verges and bits of the marsh are covered in the early flower heads of what looks rather like a kind of wild rhubarb. Butterbur will completely hide the ground once the leaves come out. Eventually the leaves become completely tattered with holes from insects munching away. One can just imagine the wildlife enjoying the cover provided to use the verges as wildlife corridors. Heavy shopping in the car. It was roasting in bright sunshine.

Thursday 12th 40-47F, 4-8C, windy, heavy overcast with spots of rain in the air. Will gust to nearly 40mph later. Four days in row with gales now. It was spitting with rain as I limped away from the house. Though the pain from the Ecco boot soon passed until an hour later on the steep descent, down from the woods. I walked along the marsh to see if there were any interesting birds on the big pond. Only two noisy geese, who complained bitterly at my arrival and marked their immediate departure.

A large deer bolted uphill as I climbed the fire breaks in the woods. Leaving behind a smaller deer in silhouette. Which watched me from the cover below me. The felling of areas of hardwoods continues. With stacks of trunks ready to be taken away.

The wind was roaring in the trees and hedges throughout. With my yellow glasses providing only modest protection. Now the sun was behind me on the walk back along the road. So I was giving the half-blinded motorists plenty of room by taking to the verges. The sky has now cleared to bright sunshine but it remains cool in the strong, gusty winds.
  

Friday 13th 53F, more gales and rather cloudy. Weapons grade pig shit spreading with a bouquet of industrial strength scent overlaid to really make our eyes water! The gulls were struggling to make headway into the wind. Only a cynic would ask them why they needed to go that way.

Huge lorries have come to take away the wood chippings from the tree felling. A bucket loader was doing its best to fill the vast containers and having to pat it down firmly to get it all in. Judging by the trail of chippings along the road it was not even the first run. Despite the roaring wind a tractor and its spraying implement were trundling across the fields. Idiocy or lunacy? Do they own every field for miles downwind?

Google and Apple's new Danish data centers will use the equivalent of 17% of Denmark's national electricity consumption. I wonder whether they will have to pay the 17 different taxes on top of the basic electricity production charges like the rest of Denmark's consumers? Perhaps more importantly .. how much tax will they pay on their vast earnings from advertising in Denmark? Answers on a postcard, please, to: Nobody really gives a damn@shit happens.dk.

I was allowed out for a shopping ride under an overcast sky. It proved to be a struggle against the wind. Effortless coming back home. Saw a female Kestrel.  Only 7 miles.

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5th April 2018 First spring-like warmth.

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Thursday 5th 41F, 5C, bright and breezy but expected to become windy and wet. It did, so I didn't have a ride.

Friday 6th 35-53F, 2-12C, light winds with a bright start under a cloudless sky. A white overnight frost is soon burning off in the sunshine. A chill, westerly breeze at first. Not many birds today. A few Yellowhammers in the roadside hedges and a noisy Chaffinch. Right boot still nagging at my ankle. Spent the day in the garden. No ride today.

Saturday 7th 42-56F, 6-13C, bright and breezy with high cloud. The breeze was roaring in the trees as I walked to the lanes. Saw a Harrier, two geese, disturbed three partridges and countless other birds.

It was blowing a headwind gale when I left on my trike. My curved route and the varying wind direction made life even more difficult. I was hanging over the upwind wheel at one point where there were open fields and no sheltering hedges. Too warm despite having changed to a lighter cycling jacket. Saw lots of cyclists out training. Much more fun on the way home with a tailwind. Only 15 miles.

Sunday 8th 46-65F,  8-18C, almost calm, bright and sunny. With thin, high cloud making the sky milky again. Much too warm in my usual, winter, walking jacket. The Ecco right boot is improving slowly if I leave the laces loose and not above the ankle bend. The left boot is no problem now. Walked for an hour a and a quarter around the edges of the fields. Saw a single hare by the marsh pond. Only a couple of Mallards today after supporting literally hundreds in the late autumn. Amazing rutting caused by run-off from the sloping fields.

I was allowed out for a shopping run. Spring is definitely sprung! I left off the tights and donned my fingerless gloves for the first time this year. 64F on my return and it's full sun forecast for all afternoon. Only 7 miles. It maxed out at 65F as I was too warm in a T-shirt working out in warm sunshine out in the garden.

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Sunday 1st April. Snow? April fool! No! It's actually snowing!

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Sunday 1st April 32F, 0C, light wind, heavy overcast, snowing lightly but steadily onto an inch of overnight snow.

I'm going for a walk. I may be some time. Never ask a man his intentions when he leaves home with a shovel.

The roads were saturated with a little wet slush here and there for decoration. I was regularly hurling myself onto the verges to avoid tyre spray. The sticky, falling snow slowly reduced. As I limped slightly less than  usual as the Ecco boots gave up the unequal struggle against my determined assault.

Easter Monday 2nd 25-46F, 4-8C, light winds, overnight frost made the ground firm. Enjoyed a longer walk along the marsh and around the forest, then back downhill. Disturbed a bird of prey, hundreds of Chaffinches, two hares and one deer. The irony is I like birds and wild animals but they'd be happier if I was friendly at a [much] greater distance. The boots vary in discomfort all the time but at least they aren't crippling me any more. Nor should they, after all the hours and hours of clamping the thick folds on the tongues. A mostly sunny day but rather misty sky with plenty of cloud. No ride today.

Tuesday 3rd 35-46F, 2-7C, misty and breezy with a very heavy overcast and patchy dusting of overnight snow. A bit damp on my walk with only Wood pigeons claiming the limelight. I kept stepping onto the verge to avoid tyre spray from passing traffic. The Ecco boots are still niggling on my right ankle bone. The left must be numb!

Mid afternoon ride in thick mist with flashing rear lights and wearing a florescent bolero. Roughly half of the vehicles had only side lights showing and only one quarter of them, rear fog lights. That included several vast, articulated lorries. It is a legal requirement for all vehicles to show dipped headlights both day and night in Denmark. So they were doubly breaking the law. No reduction in speed, cutting every corner and overshooting every corner as usual. Several clipped close past me as the only oncoming vehicle, for miles, drew alongside. No police = No laws broken. 15 miles, still not out! The mist had cleared on the way home but it rained for about a mile. Becoming much milder at last.

Wednesday 4th 45F, 7C, heavy overcast, light breeze. The boots needed to be left unlaced beyond the bend in the ankle otherwise they are still too painful to walk in. Walked up the hill to tease the gulls. They were separated into two flocks out on the field. One flock were all Black-headed gulls. The others probably Common gulls. Early breaks in the cloud promised fleeting sunshine but have now vanished into uniform grey. Saw a small bird with green flecked sides, a sparrow's back and a raised crest. Possible female Siskin, with poor colour, dragged through a hedge backwards? Otherwise it does not exist.

Afternoon ride to the shops in bright but cloudy 52F. Remembered to scale down the winter clothing today. Unlike yesterday, when I had a mobile sauna in my "best" winter cycling jacket, medieval hood and gloves. Plenty of nutters out today. I was nearly taken off by a [criminally insane] raving lunatic in an Audi! Who chopped right to the other verge on a blind corner with double white lines and little old me just pedaling around it. Another fuckwit floored his Eurobox to give himself the doubtful pleasure of catching me up [in a built up area] and blasting his horn as I turned across a perfect gap in the traffic. 

Later, two kids were having a race and using the whole road where there are double white lines for several twisty miles. No police? No road crime. A speed camera  put up anywhere around here would pay for several new, coal-fired battleships in a week. A deafening American fighter in only a month. Saw a couple of serious cyclists out training. Only 7 miles, still not out.

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