27th February 2017 Wet, wetter or wettest?

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Monday 27th 43F, 6C, heavy overcast, rain and wind. It looks as if it will rain all week. I'd better fit a lifeboat to the shed. A short walk curtailed by gale driven drizzle. It stayed wet and windy for most of the day. I was excused [MTB] boots & trikes by The Chief Medical Officer and Head Gardener. The wind could still be heard roaring around the house at bedtime.

Tuesday 28th 40F, 4C, inky overcast breaking up to the north, windy but dry. Showers possible and gusting to 30+mph all day. My hip has been aching. Lack of cycling or lack of walking? I hardly made half a mile down the road before turning back yesterday. My clothing was already soaked by the fine but solid, wind-driven drizzle. Just a walk to the village and back today. Saw my first starling of the year.

Drove to Odense to buy my very first laptop. [Ever!] It rained and it hailed heavily and repeatedly going both ways. I am now typing/writing this on my new toy. It took while to change W10 to English [from default Danish] and then download English Firefox. Then change the screen resolution so I could dispense with the magnifying glass to read what was in the tiny boxes.

The keyboard is nice to type on [and very quiet] but the keys are rather small for my XXXXL EU Size12 fingers. The Head Gardener has developed a taste for browsing over the winter so I needed a backup. I have used laptops before but have never actually owned one. Rather pleased so far. Some new tricks will be needed unless I invest in a mouse. Where I'll put the mat is anybody's guess. There isn't enough acreage beside the touch pad to swing a cat let alone a mouse!

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24th February 2017 Winter trike maintenance.

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Friday 24th 31-38F, -1+3C, light westerly wind and bright sunshine from a clear blue sky. The promised 6"-8" of snow only reached a depth of about 1" overnight after a dismal earlier showing being washed away by later rain. I walked to the village in a cold headwind and returned to be blinded by the sun. The Skylarks have started singing. The snow won't last long now wherever the sun can reach. Bits of the lanes were icy but the main roads were wet and clear from the salting.

Left late morning for a ride into bright sunshine. On the way back I was a fighting a cold headwind all the way. 17 miles.

Later I replaced the downtube gear cable adjuster. I had tried a Campag adjuster but the thread wasn't standard. The gears had been getting erratic or refusing to change reliably. Back to the normal adjuster which has very fine knurling. Making adjustment on the fly all but impossible. Perhaps the coil springs aren't really necessary? I have never tried them without. The springs take up a lot of room on the thread. Which rather limits the available range of adjustment.

I know the chain is completely knackered. So that complicates the issue of gear changing on an 11 speed hybrid system. Particularly when  using the Road Link to push the rear mech down far enough for a 36T bottom gear. I tend not to use the 36 very much [at all] so a cassette ending in 32 might be a better option. There weren't any cassettes with 34T when I was searching.

With the winter roads sloshing in salt spray it is about a month premature to be changing the chain yet. I just keep spraying it regularly with chain oil and hoping it will last. While the cable was slack I had the chain on the second largest sprocket, of eleven, and the changer relaxed to top gear. Usually the changer should only manage to drop a couple of gears because of the correct stiffness of the chain.

Saturday 25th 32-38F, 0-3C, light breeze, clear but milky sky. Two days unbroken rain forecast for 11am. I had better start early! A brisk walk to the village under thickening cloud. Followed by a brisk ride to another. Cold and uniform grey. Only 7 miles.  Rain started at 12.20. Swapping the downtube cable tensioner was remarkable in correcting the previous issues. Without any adjustment [at all] I had perfect indexing up and down the cassette.The slight dogleg caused by the Campag tensioner, no longer being threaded properly, had completely spoilt the gear change. Whether it was from unwanted flexibility in cable length or increased friction I have no idea. Indexing works on the principle of rather small and equal changes in cable length. It doesn't take much to spoil the game as the number of gears increases.

I replaced the SPD plates on my winter MTB boots this pm. Winter MTB boots are a real blessing in wet and wintry weather. Mine don't have the fur lining available in some boots and I prefer them that way. With loop pile [farmer's supply] socks my feet are never cold any more. You can almost get away with no front mudguards because of the much better weatherproofing compared to the deliberately well-ventilated, summer, cycling shoes.

The left cleat had been sliding back and forth for the last couple of days. Another roundtoit! I pick out the inevitable road grit and rust from the hex socket with a sharp point before I insert the key to full depth in the screw head. I do always remember to grease the fixing screws prior to insertion. This usually ensures they will come undone using a decent quality hex key.

Some hex keys are absolute trash and will be chewed up as soon as they look at a screw head. Good quality hex keys last for years without any problem. They will actually bend [and spring back] if you apply enough pressure. And, without stripping themselves or the screw head. Poor keys will bend and stay bent because they are such poor quality steel and not properly hardened and tempered. They may even be mild steel judging from the pitiful quality. The poor keys should really be discarded before you ruin a screw head and can't ever get it out again!

If, like me, you have a collection of  Imperial, as well as Metric hex keys, then don't ever put any effort into a badly fitting key. The key should be a fairly tight fit. Not slop about at all. A good set of hex keys is a good investment for modern bike maintenance. I like the longer hex keys with little ball ends on the longer shank. But do try to avoid using the ball to start unscrewing a tight screw. The ball end is best saved until the screw is free enough to twirl the long shank rapidly in your fingers. The ball end acts as a small universal joint. Allowing some misalignment but still driving the screws securely while askew. The neck of the ball is likely to part company if you strain it too much.They used to be known as Allen keys and Allen screws in my youth. Or Unbraco [unbreakable?] over here in Denmark. Presumably these names are from earlier and popular commercial products.

Sunday 26th 41F, 5C, very heavy overcast with rain and wind. It stayed that way for most of the day. Busy in the shed.

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20th February 2017 Yeuk!

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Monday 20th 41F, 5C, heavy overcast, mild, wet and windy. Not necessarily in that order. And meteorologically yeuk it was for most of the day. Wet, windy and grey sums it all up as I busied myself in the shed on yet another project. Or as my long-suffering wife refers to it: Attending to my Butterfly Syndrome.

Tuesday 21st 44/46F, 7-8C, windy, highly variable cloud cover. It was shifting from fully overcast to occasional sunny periods on my walk to the woods. I dodged puddles as glory lights illuminated my favourite, skyline trees. It cannot be long now before the hedges regrow and completely change their sense of stark isolation. The clean, bright light added its own mystery to misty, distant woods.

I chose to follow a loop along the muddy forest tracks and return by the same way. Jays complained loudly and repeatedly at my presence. They were moving about in the canopy but were too shy to show themselves. The first Skylarks are here and in considerable numbers out in the low, grass-like crops. Though they are yet to practice their familiar songs. The first bronze leaves are appearing on some of the trees as the wind roars through the tops. 20-30mph gusts are promised for today.

It became progressively brighter but gustier as I fought a crosswind with more than a hint of  headwind. Though it was windy enough to mean gusts could come from anywhere. It was quite a struggle, at times, keeping the nearside wheel on that variable 4" gap between the heavy dotted line and the rough grass verge. What I call the main road is decidedly non-cycling friendly. With lorries, buses and tractors affecting the crosswind as they passed. Returned heavily laden. 13 miles.

Wednesday 22nd 43F, 6C, heavy cloud, overnight rain and wind reducing for a while. A storm is forecast for tonight. It was a sunny day but the wind was roaring with no real need to go out.

Thursday 23rd 38F, 3C, pink clouds and breezy. There is a weather warning for heavy snow in a belt across southern Denmark starting at lunch time. We hardly noticed the promised wind last night. It was supposed to gust to nearly 25m/s or 50mph. A ride today had better be early. It rapidly became overcast with light winds. Lots of birds about today. I hope they've read the forecast! Up to 8" of snow possible over 6 hours.

A short, early ride to catch up on the shopping. Cruising at 16 to 18mph going. Lots of organic fruit and veg about at the moment. Back well before the threatened bad weather. Only 7 miles.

Friday 24th 31-38F, -1+3C, light westerly wind and bright sunshine from a clear blue sky. The promised 6"-8" of snow only reached a depth of about 1" overnight after a dismal earlier showing being washed away by later rain. I walked to the village in a cold headwind and returned to be blinded by the sun. The Skylarks have started singing. The snow won't last long now wherever the sun can reach. Bits of the lanes were icy but the main roads were wet and clear from the salting.

Left late morning for a ride into bright sunshine. On the way back I was a fighting a cold headwind all the way. 17 miles.

Later I replaced the downtube gear cable adjuster. I had tried a Campag adjuster but the thread wasn't standard. The gears had been getting erratic or refusing to change reliably. Back to the normal adjuster which has very fine knurling. Making adjustment on the fly all but impossible. Perhaps the coil springs aren't really necessary? I have never tried them without. The springs take up a lot of room on the thread. Which rather limits the available range of adjustment.

I know the chain is completely knackered. So that complicates the issue of gear changing on an 11 speed hybrid system. Particularly when  using the Road Link to push the rear mech down far enough for a 36T bottom gear. I tend not to use the 36 very much [at all] so a cassette ending in 32 might be a better option. There weren't any cassettes with 34T when I was searching.

With the winter roads sloshing in salt spray it is about a month premature to be changing the chain yet. I just keep spraying it regularly with chain oil and hoping it will last. While the cable was slack I had the chain on the second largest sprocket, of eleven, and the changer relaxed to top gear. Usually the changer should only manage to drop a couple of gears because of the correct stiffness of the chain.

Saturday 25th 32-38F, 0-3C, light breeze, clear but milky sky. Two days unbroken rain forecast for 11am. I had better start early! A brisk walk to the village under thickening cloud. Followed by a brisk ride to another. Cold and uniform grey. Only 7 miles.  Still no rain at 12.00. Swapping the downtube cable tensioner was remarkable in correcting the previous issues. Without any adjustment [at all] I had perfect indexing up and down the cassette.The slight dogleg caused by the Campag tensioner no longer being threaded properly had completely spoilt the gear change. Whether it was from unwanted flexibility in cable length or increased friction I have no idea. Indexing works on the principle of rather small and equal changes in cable length. It doesn't take much to spoil the game as the number of gears increases.

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16th February 2017. Adult literacy classes for itinerant, illiterate litterers?

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Thursday 16th 39F, +4C, very heavy overcast and windy. The last of the run of frosts according to the forecasters. Today's news is that Vitamin D does you good. Tomorrow's is that it has no effect. The day after that is anybody's guess. More efficient than 'flu injections apparently. Depending on who you believe and the day of the week. Heads it works, tails it doesn't. When is false news not false news? When it's a Thursday?

Adult literacy classes for itinerant, illiterate litterers?

Nearly an hour and half walk up to the woods and along the tracks. I was curious to see why the tracks were churned up but found no obvious sign of forestry activity. Rooks foraged noisily on the fields. Spilling over onto the verges and roads at intervals. Until a middling sized, bird of prey alighted and had to be quickly seen off by the mob. The higher temperatures, of late, have melted the permafrost. Making the going on foot and trike decidedly squishy. It is amazing how a normally, rock hard, gravel drive can turn to liquid and bog me down. The resistance against progress is as bad as 6" of hard snow. It quickly turned to horrible weather for cycling. Thick mist and drizzle.


Friday 17th 38-41F, 3-5C, heavy overcast, very light winds with thick mist. There is nothing wrong with cycling in thick mist. Nor any other "difficult" conditions for that matter. It is having to share the roads with deluded psychopaths which provides the real danger. Familiarity breeds contempt for the rest of the human race. I walked an unusual route to try and capture misty scenes. It was incredibly quiet with the now-distant traffic hushed to absolute silence. I was getting rather warm on the slight rises so removed my hat and gloves. The Great tits were singing their see-saw, mating songs for the first time this year. The mist is thinning now so I'm being allowed out on the tricycle. It's a good job I'm running 25mm tyres or I might never make it out of the quaggy drive! I was leaving footprints in the normally rock hard surface as the permafrost turns the gravel to mush. Late morning ride returning heavily laden. Light crosswind aided 16-18mph going. Only 17 miles.

Saturday 18th 39F, +4C, heavy overcast, light winds. Just a walk to the village and back. Late afternoon ride for 7 miles.

Sunday 19th 39F, +4C, thick mist, incredibly heavy overcast with rain and wind. Nice!

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13th February 2017 Standing room only for Red kites.

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Monday 13th 30F, -1C, heavy overcast, breezy. Grey and cold. Again! It was not so cold on my walk as weak-willed Jackdaws stood first watch on rural ramparts. Proud chimney and lowly cowl were soon abandoned as the orange-clad Goliath tramped past below. Blackbirds crisscrossed the road ahead of me. As a pair of Whooper swans passed silently overhead on a bee-line for the marsh pond. Their heads craned forwards in anticipation of breakfast. The Danish news reports a large increase in the number of Red Kites. There are even flocks of them in some areas. That won't half make the Scottish landowner's jealous. So many Red kites in one place and they can't poison any of them for a fat, tax-free profit.

I definitely have to go out today to catch up on the shopping. Late morning ride. First ten miles just  to buy some tools. A tailwind was helping me to cruise at 16-17. I hit 23mph on the flat on the way there with 12mph on climbs. The shaded forest was snowier than the open fields. A cold headwind coming home into weak sunshine. Going quite well today. I saw a single hare sitting in a field. 23 miles.

Tuesday 14th 27-37F, -3+3C, heavy overcast, breezy. The snow clings on like a badly applied coat of whitewash. Walked up to the woods going anticlockwise. Brief glimpse of the sun lasted only seconds. Later I was working comfortably outside in a jumper as it reached 37F, 3C in warm sunshine. Too busy for a ride today.

Wednesday 15th 27-39F, -3+4C, light winds, slightly misty under a clear, blue sky. The first oncoming vehicle housed a sad, deluded moron in an Alpha Romeo traveling at high speed. He was aiming straight for me until the very last moment when he took a racing line right across the blind corner. The next was a six-axle, excavator transport, low loader, on the next blind corner. Are amputees allowed to be lorry drivers? Then why should any lorry driver be allowed to drive with one hand welded to their mobile phone while cutting a blind corner?

Today I walked a rare, public footpath with excellent views out across the slightly misty landscape below. The path runs along a track past an isolated farmhouse and, just for once, they took the dogs in as I approached. I try to keep my enjoyment of this path as an unusual treat so as not to spoil it by familiarity.

A solitary Shelduck was standing on the ice right out in the middle of the lake. Two hundred Mallards ignored it pointedly. As they stood around, idly watching others, a few gulls and Coots take a morning bath. The majority had obviously got cold feet, one way or another. A chilly breeze tried to make my eyes water as I trudged the last leg into the low, blinding sun. Small flocks of Redwings and Fieldfares looked nervously on from the roadside hedges as I played asymmetric dodgems with the oncoming traffic.

Late afternoon ride in bright sunshine as it reached 39F, +4C. Though it certainly didn't feel that warm on the trike. Earlier I was working on the house in just a jumper again. Only 7 miles.

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11th February 2017. Snowball Earth?

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Saturday 11th 30F, -1C, windy, cloudy but the sky is quite clear in places. Even windier than yesterday and supposed to gust to 30mph for most of today. A neighbour's large flag was stretched absolutely straight out, smooth and unwavering in the easterly wind. A nervous flock of about fifty Redwings is going round and round the trees in the neighborhood.

By the time I had walked around the three mile, rural block the Redwings had doubled their number to over 100. Untidy rooks and jackdaws moved about in large flocks and foraged noisily. The bitterly cold wind must be making it hard for the birds. A solitary Blackcap came down and sat briefly with some larger hedge sparrows before moving on. Ponies were out in their pastures rather than huddling in their dark sheds.

The sky became divided into wide strips. Dense and darker stripes divided smaller, fluffy clouds which let the weak sunshine through. It is becoming darker and more overcast now that I am back. Saturday's shopping ride will be straight into the wind! And it was. I read 10 m/s from the east, on a pocket anemometer, when I left. The air felt very cold but I was quite comfortable apart from my face. I can't stand to have my mouth or nose covered. More of a crosswind by the time I arrived at my destination.

Returned with a more helpful wind to push my heavily laden trike back up the familiar hills. I am continuing my habit of climbing out of the saddle on as many hills as possible. Though it is often a struggle to find the correct gear when I am normally spinning at 90-95rpm while sitting down. A much lower gear is required to have something to push [and pull] against.

The wind was roaring in the trees as I passed through a neck of the woods as sunshine brightened the road on the way home. It is amazing how tree felling  affects the view and the feeling of what was once obscured and enclosed. The light changes completely for some homes. Only 15 miles.

Sunday 12th 30F, -1C, windy at times, heavy overcast. Meant to stay dry but cloudy with 12m/s, 25mph gusts. It was literally roaring just now as the trees rocked against a navy blue, northern sky. An icy cold wind as I walked briskly to the village and back. My face was as bright red on my return as it was after yesterday's ride. Three ducks and then ten more raced overhead. Flocks of blackbirds  moved between hedges on opposite sides of the road. Two small birds with snow white fronts and a hint of yellow edges paused before flying off. I have no idea what they were. They could easily have passed for warblers in summer but I think they all go south for winter. Not a wagtail nor a long-tailed tit either. Moles have no conscience. Their often spherical mounds of earth have popped up everywhere. From lawns to verges to fields, nowhere is safe from their excavations. The mounds often collect snow and freeze so hard that it is like hitting a rock with my toe. Though only if I should fail to see them in the long grass.

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10th February 2017. Avoiding the cold plunge bath in your own sweat!

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Friday 10th 28F, -2C, heavy overcast, breezy from the east. Supposedly remaining dry today. Wind speeds are expected to gust to 10-12m/s. [20-25mph] Which means that standing still at such freezing temperatures the wind chill factor is around -15C or more. It's no wonder it feels colder as you descend or ride faster.

Yesterday I reached nearly 30mph downhill. 15m/s @ -2C = -20C. Warm clothing isn't so vital as excellent wind proofing. On descents and during gusts I could feel the cold pressing against my clothing as it neared its limits on blocking the wind. No doubt my multi-layer clothing was also being flattened by the wind pressure as my speed increased. My upper arms and upper chest feel it most on descents or into headwinds but it is not nearly  enough to worry about.

Very few cyclist are out and about at these temperatures. I saw one hardy mountain biker yesterday. We grinned at each other through our body armour of clothing. I have foolishly ridden at temperatures down to -15C before I found suitable clothing. The pain in my hands and feet was excruciating! The multiple fleece jackets absolutely worthless at blocking the wind and far too warm to boot. I was wearing trainers back then with toe clips and traps.

Then, I was incredibly fortunate to find a series of proper winter cycling jackets at charity shops at about a fiver each. Not those paper thin things people wear today but still with "technical" cloth to block wind without being waterproof. I find it interesting that I never see anybody out training at freezing temperatures in the expensive and thin, winter cycling wear. It obviously doesn't give enough comfort or there would be more people wearing it.

Each of my jackets has its own particular, quite narrow, comfort zone. It is vitally important to know the upper temperature limit as well as the lower. A cyclist must absolutely not sweat. Or extreme discomfort and abject misery will surely follow. Getting hot on a climb and then descending will guarantee the ice cold plunge. As the sweat trapped in your inner layers turns to icy cold directly against your skin. Even another climb does not guarantee you will dry out. You are more likely to just sweat some more. Adding further to your misery.

That prickle in your back is a warning of overheating and must be attended to immediately. Even if it means stopping to take off a scull cap or opening your jacket wide. Sweat is your arch enemy and waterproof clothing will never let it escape.

Cycling in a PU coated nylon anorak or cagoule is a recipe for disaster! You set off feeling all safe comfortable and warm but just go on getting warmer and warmer. Before long you can feel the sweat running down your sides, chest and back. Your expensive, waterproof jacket is worse than a black bin bag! At least a cheapo, bin bag can let some sweat out at the arms and neck hole. The PU anorak or cagoule are sealed at every orifice [and seam] except at your panting mouth.

I rode 15 miles back and 15 miles forth every day in my youth to get to work. I was absolutely freezing in winter so I stuffed a newspaper inside my jumper. That helped but it wasn't very  comfortable for a daily ride. So I "invested" in a Black's PU coated jacket. It was lovely for the first mile and then rapidly became a mobile sauna. I carried no spare clothing. So had to sit and stand around sopping wet [in my own sweat] until lunchtime before I finally dried out in the warm office.

I used the same jacket to go winter mountain walking and rock climbing in Snowdonia. It was always horribly wet and/or cold in the mountains. That PU jacket made my life an absolute misery! I "enjoyed" a constant sweat bath on every single climb and then froze at the summit or on exposed ridges. There was no way to remove the jacket once I was wet through without risking severe hypothermia!

A good, old fashioned, tightly woven, cotton anorak would have breathed even if it was damp on the outside. Regular re-proofing would help to keep it drier. Or even a really good tweed jacket would do at a pinch. It's just a shame they don't allow easy, buttoned closure right up to the neck. The vast majority of tweed wearers aren't remotely outdoorsy people and just want to show off a shirt and tie. The tweed jacket was once the material of choice for the outdoor laborer. The greasy wool shed some of the constant rain. A breathable hessian sack would become a cape when it absolutely poured down.

There was a recent test of 1930s technology mountain clothing in the Himalayas and it proved successful. Tents were made of breathable but windproof fabric for millennia before the sweaty PU, flappy nylon things came along. Though admittedly the plastic tents were much lighter if you needed to physically carry them with you. I mistakenly tried a lightweight, single skin, PU nylon bivouac tent on one trip to Snowdonia. I never slept for a week due to the constant rattling of the thin, hard, nylon fabric. Then there was the constant rain from my own sweat and condensed breath being shaken off the inside of the same fabric onto my sleeping bag. Never, ever again!  

The wind was certainly chilly for my walk. Despite donning my Bruegel peasant's cap I had to protect my upwind cheek with a gloved hand at times. A solitary bird of prey departed, sporting the perfect white and darker grey camouflage for such wintry conditions. I could hear a constant whine throughout my walk. Which proved to be a tractor stirring a gigantic pig farm's equally giant, slurry tank. I could smell it too from a well over a mile away. The number of different tracks in the snow was unbelievable. It must be standing room only, out there, once it gets dark. Another miserably cold, dark grey, windy day without a ride.

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7th February 2017Pt.2: Pass the snow shovel, please?

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Tuesday 7th 30F, -1C, heavy overcast with light flurries of snow. It seems winter has returned to Denmark. With a week of continuous, sub zero temperatures and snow forecast. I doubt there's a full inch lying yet, but everything has taken on that badly whitewashed look.

An hour and a quarter's walk to the far woods. A cold wind and continuing light snowfall tested my next selection of supermarket "skiing" gloves. I could wear my default, scooterist's gloves but they are rather stiff and bulky for my relatively casual, rural walks. The sky proved to have some very slight variation in greyness if I stared hard enough in my default yellow sunglasses. It continued to snow lightly all day though without much extra accumulation. It may have reached a depth of one inch or 2.5cm in Euros.

Wednesday 8th 28F, -2C, breezy, heavy overcast, fine snow falling steadily. I walked to the woods in a minor blizzard. Stopping occasionally to try and capture the views. The snow flakes were small and light and lifted readily to the slightest gust of wind or passing  vehicle. Traffic was very light today. A salt spraying lorry passed and the driver waved as I stepped well off the road to let him pass unhindered. There was no obvious result of his activities since the snow settled just as before. The scooterist's gloves started off feeling rather chilly but warmed up later. Stopping regularly to take wintry pictures in a cold wind probably didn't help. There seemed to be about half an inch of snow accumulating per hour judging by the depth on previously cleared areas at home. A trip in the car to replenish stocks of stove fuel. Snow depth now at about 3" but highly variable whether it has drifted or been scoured away by the wind..

Thursday 9th 27-28F, -3-2C, breezy, heavy overcast, no new snow but more showers are possible in the forecast. The Danish news warns of numerous motorway accidents due to icy road conditions. There was no observable difference in local driver behaviour yesterday. This despite the roads being covered in thin, slippery snow. Does this mean that commuters can't read Danish? Or just that they don't read the Danish news before setting off? Or, do they have delusions of grandeur that they are winter rally aces? That would explain the three cases of heavy damage to the verges inside a one mile stretch of road.

Driver's pre-flight checklist: Driving nose to tail? Check. Driving in a low gear ready to overtake on double white lines? [If they were even visible through the snow!] Check? Cutting every corner despite oncoming traffic? Check. Bullying the car in front to drive faster by tailgating? Check. Welcome to the twilight zone of driving. You only have to look at the tracks in the snow to see that almost nobody was keeping to their own lane on corners. An unblemished, pristine, white carpet on the outside of every bend. When the snow isn't there the double white lines are completely worn away between bouts of resurfacing.

The roads were clear enough for a ride without inhibiting the traffic. Hands very cold going. Fine coming back. Crosswind became slight headwind. The air felt very cold but I was comfortable. An oversized fleece collar helped to keep the wind out. Several birds of prey perched on roadside trees. Including one gorgeous chestnut one glowing in the brief, winter sunshine. Only 12 miles.


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7th February 2017. Pt.1: Sparks flying everywhere!

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Tuesday 7th 30F, -1C, heavy overcast with light flurries of snow. It seems winter has returned to Denmark. With a week of sub zero temperatures and snow forecast. I doubt there's a full inch lying yet, but everything has taken on that freshly whitewashed look.



Yesterday was another rest day, being busy. An electrical double socket in the kitchen ceiling [sic] decided to overheat. As they do in old [people's] homes. I coped with the electrics but there was considerable extra work revealing the cables above the boarded ceiling. Just another day in paradise for the Jack-of-all-trades. [Good at none?]

Getting an electrician in requires a second mortgage in Denmark. Which is why most Danish homes have hundreds of extension cables draped across the floor, ceilings and furnishings from multi-sockets and plugs leading to more multi-sockets. Fortunately, in my case it meant a simple component substitution. Which avoided a compulsory visit from the electrician's mafia. With the usual menaces and regular 'protection' payments to follow.

Unlike well established, British, ring main standards, both lighting and sockets are all on the same, single spur from the meter. Protected only by one 10A fuse in the CU it means you can't boil a kettle while making toast. Nor run the washing machine while using a power tool. Fortunately the domestic hot water tank is on its own 3-phase supply. So at least you can take a bath by candle or torch light when everything else has gone black. We have grown accustomed to leaving small LED torches around in fixed places.

Denmark does not recognise new ideas until a Dane has independently reinvented the wheel. So ring mains and earthed sockets are strictly alien technology. There is a trend towards 3-pin earth sockets with new installations I believe. Though what the earth is connected to is quite another matter.

It all seemed so terribly backwards when we came over here. Even smart Danish houses and apartments had festoons of visible installation cables clipped to walls and ceiling and flex running everywhere. Electrical fires are commonplace but hardly surprising when electricians cost at least £200 per hour. Plus travelling time, frequent paid fag and chat breaks, sick leave, kindergarten fees and foreign holidays on top. Plus the customer pays at least four times the retail price for the same sockets and switches which are readily available at every DIY outlet. Yet the trade can buy exactly the same items, wholesale, in bulk, at a fraction of the normal retail price.

Perhaps we have just been very unlucky but we have been robbed several times now. You could have a full home rewire in Britain for the cost of adding a couple of extra sockets to the existing single spur in Denmark.

We once asked the local El-mafiosi for two-way light switching in the previously unlit entrance hall of our old cottage With a new socket in the middle intended for the occasional vacuum cleaner. These "authorized" cowboys put the two way lighting switches in the middle of the hall. Then fixed double sockets at each end where the light switches should have gone! A greater level of sheer, drooling idiocy would be hard to imagine.

They wanted £1200 quid [equivalent] for their one day's slapstick farce by one "qualified" junior electrician. It took the previously cocky boss more time and 7 core cable to provide the requested 2-way lighting switches at each end. Where he left an open socket housing where he had moved a square light switch into a double depth, rectangular, switched socket box in the wall. A curious child could easily put their fingers up behind the light switch to touch live components. I see the fleet of cowboy's vans almost every day as they race through the village high streets on their way to another  robbery  "job." Their understanding of the rules of the road match that of electrical installation!

Juvenile Triffid hiding in a roadside hedge in wait of innocent cyclists and walkers. The unwary could be caught and suffer a slow and agonizing death in full view of passing psychopaths. What you might call "a commuter sentence." 😲

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6th February 2017 Triffids? I can't see anything!

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Monday 6th 34F,1C, breezy, very heavy overcast with spots of wintry showers falling on yesterday afternoon's inch of snow. There is a slight threat of sunshine later but I shan't hold my breath. It has been grey for so long I have lost count. Every grey day rolls into another. With hardly anything to differentiate one from the other.

The Danish news is that fewer than seven electric cars were purchased in dull, green Denmark in the first month of 2017. Since the tax mad politicooze demanded 150% tax on imported electric cars the market has not just died. The corpse has begun to stink! Never mind, eh? It's not as if any of the other empty, heavily diluted, environmental promises will ever be fulfilled. Fiddle their expense accounts today and sod tomorrow.

Interestingly [?] record numbers of asylum seekers, supposedly in mortal fear for their lives and that of their families, have voluntarily gone home. I suppose they simply became bored with wandering the department stores in traditional costume at Danish taxpayer's expense. Tempting as the free plane ticket might be, Gravely Blighted is simply too awful for me to be allowed to leave voluntarily. My unshakeable faith in tricycling would place me in immediate and deadly danger on British roads. So my exile continues unabated in far poorer living conditions than that bloke Assange presently enjoys. I bet he doesn't have to struggle with neighbour's smoke and loose chickens! I don't even have a treadmill. Except of my own making.

I'd better go for my morning walk before I dig an even deeper hole for myself. My computer niche, dormer window is covered in short streaks of wind-blown, wintry inclemency. So wish me luck. I had better remember my Alpine gaiters, LED torch [with built in SOS blink option] and emergency whistle. Those roadside verges can be quite quite treacherous in these wintry conditions. I could be simply avoiding the spray from a passing juggernaut and become trapped in the overhanging masses of dog roses. They throw long, vicious tentacles, like Triffids, to catch innocent, Blighted tricyclists and even rarer, walkers. It's lucky I have my yellow workshop glasses or I might never return!

Having reached the village and my habitual exit to the forest it began to snow and then turned to rain. The cold wind didn't help and my Thinsulate <cough> "Skiing Glove" <cough> clad hands were already aching. I chickened out at the thought of trudging through thin, wet snow for another half hour for so little reward. The rain didn't last long and what remained was just a few water droplets on my safety glasses and a vivid imagination.

Click on any image for an enlargement.

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4th February 2017 Because they are "special?"

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Saturday 4th 37F, +3C. You should know the drill by now: Just above freezing, thick mist, heavy overcast and breezy. Perhaps with a nice big dollop of rain on the side, allegedly. It was raining under the trees yesterday where the mist was being driven through these giant, cold condensers. A bit like bathroom walls, they collect enough mist until there is nowhere left, but down. They should plant trees in the deserts for mad English tricyclists to ride under when they need to cool off at midday.  

Saturday marks my now-habitual 8 mile ride to a specific supermarket which lost its only local outlet. The 8 miles back always seem more uphill once fully loaded. The supermarket has special offers starting on Saturday's. These must be attended to since no other supermarket chain stocks these items. Nor does this particular supermarket chain in many cases! Since they feel no moral obligation to actually stock their special offers. Nor to get them out onto the shelves when they do [quite unexpectedly] have lots of stock. This is Denmark after all. 

It seems I shall just have to brave the mists again. To throw my chances of survival into the laps of [educationally challenged] sociopaths. Or whatever the politically correct term is these days for raving lunatics without a single ganglion of conscience. Nor the foresight to understand the consequences of driving badly as if it really doesn't matter. That widely accepted school of thought which says that what you do behind the wheel is irrelevant provided you get there sooner than yesterday. 

I rather like the description I once read on a Danish forum. These people are "special." Almost regardless of their actual number. Say 98% of the driving population? Is that putting it too strongly in a tiny country where half a million drivers were fined for speeding last year alone? Subtract those too young or too old to drive legally. Or who really shouldn't in a sane world. When push comes to shove I wouldn't trust half the people I have ever met to manage a shopping trolley. Yet, quite inexplicably,  most of them drive.

Does this really mean that a very large fraction of drivers have been unfairly fined simply for breaking the law? Does it make the law an ass? Or, is it simply that the present sanctions are far too lax to have any real impact? When you see so many driving with a tablet or oversized phone, for a steering wheel, there may be a case for a few token, public hangings. Just to get their attention. Would they even notice if there were bodies dangling from the speed limit signs? Probably not. The invisibility of all speed signs might be 'catching.' Thereby rendering the hanging corpses equally "transparent" as they swing in the habitual breeze.

The mist was slightly thinner today on my walk. As if to reinforce my latest rant a car had fallen off the road during the night. It looked almost as if it had almost managed to climb back out of the deep ditch but couldn't quite make it. In Denmark I am not allowed to show photographs of such events on pain of prosecution, heavy fines and/or imprisonment.

The politicooze and human rights lawyers are still discussing whether shopkeepers can share their security camera footage with other nearby shopkeepers to warn of and identify shoplifters. The right to steal vastly exceeds the shopkeepers right to economic survival in Denmark. The police do not attend mere shoplifting cases according to the media. Leaving the shopkeepers with quite a dilemma. The shopkeepers can usually found guilty of something. While the thief goes free.   

Further on, a small, brown bird of prey nearly took my head off as it escaped from a hedge across the road with a squawk. Not much bigger than a blackbird, it shot over the roof behind me and out of sight. It was probably hunting for sparrows. The church must have been preparing for a funeral. With its large, Danish flag at half mast and the gate and door wide open. Sadly, there was no sign of life. It turned wet and nasty later so my ride was postponed.

Sunday 5th 35F, 2C, breezy, heavy overcast with mist. Rain forecast for later. A 40 minute walk to the village and back. The lopsided car had been removed but there were several scars on other verges where vehicles had obviously gone badly off-road. A late morning ride into the cold easterly wind returning suitably laden. Horribly grey and miserably cold. Only 7 miles.

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1st February 2017 Ya mist me?

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Wednesday 1st Feb 35F, +2C, heavy overcast, breezy but dry. The heavy overcast continues. It's no wonder the Danes went off around the world. They were trying to escape from depression before the invention of the massive daily intake of happy pills. Think of the money they would save if they all became spandex clad clowns on tricycles instead.

The top countries for antidepressant use - Business Insider

A cold wind followed my walk along the lanes. Gulls moved away from the fields nearest the road as I passed even when they were hundreds of yards away. I have no idea why they are so nervous. I can't imagine they have many enemies. Their success makes them a very populous bird both inland and on the coasts. They are considered vermin where their aggression and noise spoils towns and  seaside resorts. Their habit of foraging on refuse disposal sites and sewage works does not favour their reputation. While there are often many thousands around here they aren't noticeably noisy. No ride today.

Thursday 2nd 32F, 0C, breezy with a heavy overcast. The cold grey weather continues but with more wind. 10m/s gusts means 22mph in old money from the south east. The trees in the garden are rocking. The dull, misty weather hasn't produced any new photographs which don't simply look badly out of focus. An hour and a half walk to a more distant sweep of forest. The loggers had been busy thinning beeches and cutting up the now muddy tracks. An almost total absence of birds today. I snapped away at the forest views but they all resemble each other and last year's. No ride today.

Friday 3rd 33F, +1C, breezy, heavy overcast, thick mist. A ride is necessary today so I may finally be allowed out by the tradesman's entrance. An hour's walk up the side of the hilly fields. I was using the cover of thick mist to collect enough mud on my boots to tastefully decorate the road outside almost any farm entrance. A few blackbirds tried to give away my presence but nobody was listening at that distance from what passes as civilization.

A 17 mile ride over lunchtime in thick mist. I had my Smart lights flashing brightly so that the illegally speeding motorists would have an example of what a real fog lamp looks like. I saw only two rear fog lamps lit up all day and several vehicles with no lights on at all! It is a legal requirement to show dipped headlights 24x365.24 in Denmark regardless of day or night.

A registered blind, senile, alcoholic, badly bald, drug addicted driver stared straight at me and then pulled out right in front of me! Later several drivers [with similar afflictions to the above] entered a one lane section against the oncoming traffic. A large excavator had been parked on the road for the weekend. Where heavy drainage and pipe laying is ongoing. These drivers had no right to proceed as the obstruction was only on their own side but still they insisted. Shouldn't they be in a retirement home? I blame the compulsory anti-depressants!  I could do with some myself after seeing how many idiots drive in such appalling conditions! The mist [and the drivers] were so thick they were obscuring the hedges from just across the road.

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