1st October 2015 Mud, inglorious mud!

*

Thursday 1st 50-56F, 10-13C, light breeze, overcast. Sunshine promised for later. I left mid afternoon with a moderate tailwind pushing my speed up to 20mph at times. Shopped and returned the same way at a far more modest 12-14mph. Only 17 miles.

Friday 2nd 51F, 11C, light breeze, overcast but sunshine promised for later. Denmark has been enjoying its highest barometric pressure since records began. 1041.3hPa. Not quite an Indian summer but the weather has been very stable, dry and pleasantly warm reaching around 60F every afternoon.

A pleasant walk up to the woods where many of the fire breaks have been cleared. Several dozen pheasants guarded the entrance but put up a poor fight.  A deer shot across a gap between the conifers. Diffuse clouds of gulls rose and fell to the tides of rumour and speculation. While small, depleted squadrons of fluttering larks climbed steeply into indifferent skies to perform their ritual acrobatics. Vast, roaring tractors plied lane and fold on urgent missions of both extent and duration. Dwarfed only by jostling container trucks competing with dodgem cars on the endless Scalextric tracks of real life and near death experience. A neighbour's tabby cat had given up its last life to the curiosity of a 2-dimensional hedgehog.

Unlikely gap in a hedge. 

Just a short ride in bright sunshine. Quite breezy but only for 7 miles.
The Danish police have been having a go at cyclists again. 1400 cyclists were fined out of 2000 stopped. Ironic in a country where at least 90% of drivers ignore the speed limit and double white lines. Many drivers also use their mobile phones continuously. Now I can't make my mind up whether to have an Afro hairstyle or Deadlocks while I'm out on my trike.

Saturday 3rd 50-57F, 10-14C, slightly misty, feeling cooler despite being almost still at first with a grey overcast. Tractors are working the fields around us. Just a stroll down to the village and back. The hunting season must have started. Peace and quiet of the countryside? A nice quiet weekend? Yeah, right!

Quite a chilly start to my ride but it soon warmed up when the sun came out.

As I was riding into a [50kph/30mph] village 1/3 of the road width was still almost unrideable from major roadworks finished many months ago. Cars were still insisting on overtaking me at above the speed limit as I stuck to my side of the road but outboard of the "tank training track" of ploughed tarmac. The parents of two tiny kids were standing on opposite sides of this incredibly busy road. The mother was obviously planning to send the children across the road on their tiny bikes towards their father.

Just as I, and a car approached from opposite directions, the boy decided he knew better than to wait. He set off across the road without even looking. I and the car were forced to brake to give the child plenty of time to cross. Moments later, coming the other way was was an immature, teenage fuckwit who floored the pedal of his decoratively "tuned" and noisy car because he could see a long [30mph] straight ahead.

Almost as much mud as I ran over on the roads this morning.

Tragically, he is not alone. Probably 70-80% of all drivers accelerate along this straight and take the completely blind corner out of the village at probably 50mph into the teeth of the opposing traffic. Which is, almost always, racing around exactly the same blind corner at an average of 50mph despite having passed the 30mph signs and village "gates" and large, speed indicator board well over 200 yards earlier. Most of these vehicles, including buses, 7 axle intercontinental transporters, builder's vans and Mr and Mrs John Doe will all be on the wrong side of the road despite the solid, double white lines running continuously for miles back the way they had come.

The mother managed to grab the tiny girl before she too set off blindly on probably the last journey of her very young life. The boy was fielded safely by his father who rushed into the road without looking. Just another day on a road through a village somewhere.

Mmm! More McSlugbait.

I read in the Danish press this same  morning that a driver had his car confiscated for doing 80mph in a village with a 30mph speed limit. Hardly unusual at all, in fact, except for the vehicle confiscation. Keep death off the roads. Don't drive. You know it makes no sense. Only 17 miles.

Sunday 4th 49F, 10C, thick mist, overcast, calm. Promised to be bright later with light winds again. I was just reading that when Paris had a car free day pollution dropped by a third. I wonder how it would fall if Copenhagen did the same with a cycle ban? [Think about it.]

It was damp and very misty on my hour's walk. Three more items of McLardy's patented, genocidal packaging lay on the verge. I have a theory that it is one of Lardy's regulars. Someone who needs one and a half car seats just to get home. He fears discovery that his gluttonous habits are killing him. So he discards the evidence to avoid criticism by Mrs Wobbly. Perhaps the litter lout is a bus driver?

 As I packed my shopping into the capacious Goth saddlebag, the other day, a bus drove into the supermarket carp park.  I could hardly  believe my eyes! Who drives a bus into a busy, supermarket car park? Then turns the bus around and parks right by the shop entrance? So that he physically  blocks access to a dozen customer's cars?

The answer could only be the driver. When he dismounted his stomach was so distended [a conservative 30" linear, forward extension from merely chubby] that he could have been only moments from giving birth to long-overdue octuplets. His arms seemed of quite normal length so how he reached the steering wheel of the bus must remain one of those baffling mysteries. He disappeared into the shop and I left to ride home. Who knows? The McLardy's trough filling staff may even be on first name terms.

There is much talk at present about all the "scrounging economic refugees." Complaints about them taking taxpayer's money, housing, heating, health and social benefits without ever having contributed a penny. Why does nobody moan about the much larger numbers of self-inflicted obese? Many of whom are very likely to be taking up most hospital beds in the near future. As they lie there dying from the results of their deliberate and wanton gluttony at taxpayer's expense. A headline on the newspaper board outside the garage suggested that over 50% of the population are now clinically obese. Where do I queue for my tax rebate for keeping my weight healthy with exercise and dietary self control? Thus saving the rest of the remaining taxpayers from having to pay for yet another freeloader. [Crane or forklift optional!]

As you will probably have guessed, by now, it hasn't cleared to sunshine. The mist is still far too thick to risk a ride as we approach 11.15am. I was quite looking forwards to a longer ride in such light winds. There is hardly a breath of air in the birches. It cleared up after lunch but the wind increased. My nose has started bleeding regularly again.  Probably all the heavy lifting. Just a short ride for 10 miles today.

Click on any image for an enlargement.

*