25 Apr 2015

24th April 2015 "Net blanks!"

Saturday 24th 50-55F, 10-13C, misty, breezy and overcast. Rain forecast for late morning and continuing for the rest of the day. I was reading somewhere that 75% of all road users in Copenhagen have been threatened by cyclists. Or have been on the receiving end of rude words or gestures. The figure is 50% for the rest of the country. This suggests [to me] that many cyclists have been made short-tempered and frustrated by their riding experiences. Competing with motorised traffic never [ever] empowers the cycling or walking "crash test dummy." The battle is as one-sided as South American jungle natives being mown down by armed national soldiers, riding in fleets of WW1 Russian battle tanks, to practice their illegal "logging exercises."

The whole "cyclists on the roads" thing often reminds me of organised racism in Apartheid South Africa. Drivers expect [nay demand] that absolutely nothing impedes their [often illegal] progress. They demand the right to travel at illegal speeds in order to shorten their journey times. Often after leaving deliberately late to add the only excitement in their miserable, boring lives. Not to mention a "nice test" of their [fantasy] "racing driver" skills in a mass produced, sensory deprivation tank. Originally intended to carry families in some comfort and personal safety between motorway stops for greasy takeaways and consequent [travel sickness] throw-ups. Burp! They often speed [illegally] simply because they can. With almost no chance of detection or remotely costly sanction for their illegal behaviour.

Mostly they drive using an obsolete, 1950s-built, mental auto-pilot using valves and red tape instead of transistors, RAM and hard disks. An early form of computer which completely excludes all thought, or care, for pedestrians and cyclists sharing exactly the same environment due to a complete lack of parallel tasking, computing power. After all, this driving mentality was developed long before the breathalyser spoilt many a great night getting completely plastered at the pub before driving home! Burp! I hardly dare mention sharing jokes and YT kitten videos by SMS while "cornering like a pro" through the junior school chicanes.

Why do I have to jump onto the verge to avoid repeated collisions with uncaring drivers on my morning walks? Why do I constantly have to give way to driving behaviour which would surely put the perpetrator behind bars in ordinary life? Or certainly would do, if he/she was not safely ensconced within his/her [fantasy] armoured [computer games] family "sports" car. Where diplomatic immunity is internationally and rigidly enforced by default. Which means nobody's fault except the idiot cyclist who got in the way!

Almost every car is sold entirely on [hyped] performance and appearance by corrupt advertising. Often filmed in some backward, ex-communist, 3rd world, Eastern European country on closed roads on a Sunday just after dawn. Adverts which never [ever] mention safety because that would be a sales [hype] negative against making their 3 millionth sale of an identikit, Eurobox, killing machine. One which statistically makes an AK47 look like a child soldier's plastic toy rifle, water pistol.

This [habitual] driving behaviour instantly increases death rates amongst soft bodied cyclists and pedestrians catastrophically!! 85% deaths in RTAs compared with only [?] 5%. Can you imagine any driver voluntarily buying a snazzy, after-market speed limiting computer for their vehicle? Even if they were available in faux Carbon Fibre or real leather-covered.. anything which reduced their [illegal] speeds to no more than the legal speed limit. The mere idea would be absolutely laughable! You think otherwise? Which planet do you live on?

Why do driving criminals complain about "speed" cameras being "cash cows?" Do they call bank security cameras "cash cows" for catching "innocent" bank robbers? Or is killing a cyclist while taking a "racing line" at a ridiculous and illegal speed, through a favourite [completely blind] corner a lesser crime than [say] deliberately shooting a bank worker or hostage in the chest, head or stomach? Is it because there is some element of avoidability thanks to the driver's "super-advanced" driving skills? The ones they learned from binging on several series of Top Gear via Netflix? [aka: The Clarkson Syndrome?] I presume you voted for the overweight bully [replete with driving bans, poor hair and speeding fines] to be returned to Top Jeer? Burp!

If only most drivers had remotely the level of driving skills which they carry around in their unquestioning, deluded, fantasy-world noddles. Until, that is, something goes horribly wrong! Why do drivers fall off the edge of the road and cut every corner despite the double white lines and frequent speed limit signs? If only road designers had the skills which they carry around in their wildest fantasies. If only cycle paths [or even the edges of the roads] were designed [and maintained] with cyclists in mind. Rather than as a means to exclude "the blacks" cyclists from curtailing all driver's rapid [i.e. completely illegal] vehicular progress.

Potholes and stones are a far greater danger to cyclists with their maximum of about 1/2" of tyre air suspension [and no real suspension] between them and the usually crappy, edge of the road, surface. Now compare that with the several inches of air and thick, supple rubber, with several more inches of additional suspension travel, enjoyed by literally every road legal vehicle found on the roads today. Yet the majority of bumpy, gravel strewn and cracked cycle lanes run parallel to a perfectly smooth road surface. The blacks cyclists are forced into a narrow, and often crumbling lane full of litter, puddles, loose gravel, sunken or raised drains and fallen debris from vehicles.

While the "poor old" driver, protected from the nasty blacks cyclists by only a narrow white line, enjoys a billiard table level of absolute perfection. This despite having a vehicle perfectly capable of some considerable speed off-road without damage when necessary. Vehicles never seem to have any trouble racing to a good spot on a field used as a temporary parking space for some important outdoor sports, car boot sale or rock music event! Yet if a black cyclist pulls out into close-brushing traffic, to avoid a huge pothole or a stack of fallen pallets from an unsecured lorry, then it is automatically the cyclist's fault if an "accident " occurs? Whatever happened to the default rear collision = the following driver is automatically guilty rule? This doesn't apply to the blacks cyclists in this strange, alternative dimension? Why is that?

How often, as a driver, do you feel physically threatened by a speeding cyclist or pedestrian? One who completely trashes any chance of your survival in a crash? Really? How does that work? How often can a cyclist "chop off" or "cut up" a car, bus or lorry with complete impunity simply because they can't [or won't] be caught afterwards?

Far too many drivers [of both sexes] behave as if their masculinity was constantly at stake. Is seeing a "better" car on the road a clear case of penis envy for you? Why else would there be BMW/Audi "bull-dozer" drivers with low profile "racing" rims and oversized double sphincter exhausts? Why would they drive them in a city where average vehicle road speeds are lower than an overweight jogger can manage after binging on chocolate layer cake, crisps and "energy" drinks for several decades? Why does the average driver react so violently to unwelcome intrusions into their [sensory deprivation] personal space? Yet thrust that same space into other's proximity like a flasher in the park.

Is it guilt? Or a sudden glimpse of some unmentionable vulnerability in their ridiculously expensive, armoured, GP, SPORTS, GTS, GTi, kompressor, blower, twin-turbo, 32 valve, 4VPP, direct injection, DOHC, All-Spark, wing on the roof, exclusive front spoiler, offset number plate, low profile, real wood veneer, oversized tachometer, solid carbon fibre gear knob, understated factory racing label, sports seats, roll bars and harnesses, race developed, anti-personnel carrier? One equipped with [imaginary] 50mm cannons to pick off all those damned blacks cyclists!

Because ALL cyclists are are a lower form of life AND PAY NO ROAD TAX OR INSURANCE AND CONSTANTLY JUMP RED LIGHTS! They have to be eradicated from the roads because the brutish [all masculine = pot bellied] multimillionaire Top Jeer host says so? Probably from behind the wheel of your wildest [i.e.mass produced] wet fantasy entirely at license payer's expense. [5-star, chef-cooked evening meals and mobile hairdresser excluded!]

I'm going for a walk. Wish me luck! I'll almost certainly need it. Bandits low at 12 o'clock!!
It's a good job I have the optional low profile treads on my SUV boots. The Carbon Fibre foil and Kevlar reinforced chassis, with solid-forged CNC machined aluminium eyelets and flexible, mountain-racing-developed, CNC engineered side-walls ensure that I retain maximum grip while off-roading at speed. i.e. hopping onto the relative safety on the verge! An odd, but very commonplace situation to find the tracks of many road vehicles originally intended only for smooth asphalt. Wouldn't you say?

Short-eared owl?

Today's walk was more than usually interesting. Greenfinches, with their unique wheezing songs, are turning up in sufficient numbers to match the Goldfinches. As I was walking along my familiar farmer's track, a large owl lifted out of the crop close nearby! It flew only a few yards and then dropped out of sight again. It only rose again to fly away as I reached its new position along the track. I managed one quick shot [with my camera] but the image lacks any sharpness through heavy cropping. I'd put the wing span as at least 3' but certainly not Eagle owl sized. Buff face, very high aspect ratio wings, "pointed" with no obvious "fingers" at the black tips. I'm going with a Short-eared owl unless somebody can suggest a better identification.

Later, on my way back along the main road there were large numbers of motor-bikers going the other way. It was quite exciting being so close to so much movement and noise! They were riding an eclectic mix of Harleys, Japanese, German and Italian machines. I can't say I noticed anything British. There were a few HA club emblems amongst them. All were travelling at somewhere around the rural speed limit. It must be awful for drivers to be baulked on their way to the bakers/take-way/pub by machines which can often trash their highest potential [and highly illegal] speed on any road with a national road speed limit of only 50mph/80kph! Or [a measly] 70mph on the motorway.

The first few drops of rain are falling now at around midday. Stop raining on my [motorcycle] parade! Rode to the shops as the rain blew sideways to match the tyre spray. Managed to cruise at 18-20mph on the way. Wore my cheapo, supermarket discount, X-rage, waterproof [racing] jacket over my lightest winter cycling jacket. Very comfortable and no sweatiness at all despite the hills. That'll be the race-developed evaporative cooling of my naked [ultra-low-drag] hairy legs. I should have worn the winter MTB boots. Saw lots of Alfa Romeos going the other way. Shame about the rain on all those [race-developed] soft tops! It's been dry for ages until today. Only 12, slightly damp miles and only 3001 km for the year so far.

Click on any image for an enlargement.


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