21 Nov 2018

20th November 2018 Fixing the Danish T-De-F.

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Tuesday 20th 38F, dark grey, wet and windy. The gulls were [almost] absent today. Probably frightened themselves yesterday by their sheer numbers. A sprinkle of rain and a cold wind just about sums up today's walk.

Millions are being set aside to subsidize the T-De-F start in Denmark. I had no idea shipping containers for storing asthma drugs were that expensive to hire? Or is the expense for fitting road legal lights and reflectors to the Peloton's 6lb £multi-$housand, 3 bike changes per stage/ four wheel changes per stage machines?

Cycle theft is awful in Denmark. So perhaps the cost is for Abus Dreadnought Class, Gold Secured mini-U locks? Can't they just give the teams a few lumps of UCI Approved, rusty scrap iron to tie onto their bikes? Its not as if there are any real, mountain passes in Denmark and the savings to go towards a second stately home for each of the UCI observers.

It would be so simple to end cycle punctures overnight if they totally banned mechanics from making wheel changes for puncturing in the classic races. Make the rider fit a new tube and tyre beside the road surrounded in polluting parasites motorcycle photographers. That would end the foolish use of expensive, but irreparable tubulars, on normal roads and boost wire-on, tyre technology for the Weekend Warriors to boot.

Wednesday 21st 40F, cloud clearing to sunny periods but windy. No sign of any sun as I walked for an hour up to the woods and back the other way. A buzzard complained as I passed its roadside copse. The views are opening up with the steady loss of leaves. Exposing more distant features like masts and windmills. I could even see the sea from the top of the hill. There are hundreds of small birds moving about in the trees and hedges. No ride today.


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19 Nov 2018

19th November 2018 I'm old too!

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Monday 19th 39F, Eek! Very dark grey, cold and windy. Hovering around 5C with 25mph gusts. With Wind Chill that's equivalent to -3C. It's enough to turn you to heavy drinking according to scientists.

Drunk in charge of a trike? Nah, not really. I still have some pride. Mind you, there's plenty of big pockets in the jerseys and jackets for beer cans. These cans need not be full.

There is an impoverished class of persons in Denmark. Who are so poor that they ride battered and rusty old 1950s mopeds. As they go around looking for empty drinks cans carelessly tossed into waste bins. Many will stop to pick up a can on the verge to take to the supermarket's recycling machine. It's called "trickle down" for very obvious reasons.

Say I was found drunkenly draped over my trike: Do you think I might get a special dispensation for claiming I have the International Standard Sporting Cyclist's <cough> "Universal Asthma Problem?"

As in; "I'm a martyr to asthma, officer." "So I must consume several cans of beer before every training session."  I'm still waiting for cannabis to become an International Standard Prescription for <cough> The Peloton's Universal Asthma Problem.

Danish police are having a go at motorists who cross on the red at traffic lights. Yellow means stop. Or in this case it means "stop at your own peril!" As some drunk, Danish driver hits you from behind because you didn't run the red light as expected. It has happened to me twice now at traffic lights by <cough> "mint chewing" drunk drivers.

"It's my wife's car," seems to be the favourite excuse. They probably have multiple bans for drunk driving themselves. So they drive a car registered and insured under their wife's name. Driving while constantly "chewing mints," of course.

There's a lot of it about. "Mint chewers," driving their wife's cars have damaged my own car twice in almost empty car parks. One was so keen to avoid attracting any attention that he offered me £100 in cash to "fix it myself." Then £200.

Another "mint chewer" reversed his wife's vast and utterly hideous, Picasso people carrier into the side of my parked car at a petrol station. His excuse? My car was so old it didn't really matter, hic! I'm old too. Was the self-confessed sociopath going to run me over? And, would that be his wife's fault?

The gulls were back and in unbelievable numbers this morning. A huge dark cloud was swirling high above their usual roosting field but my images were crap due to 'noise' from a lack of light. Just the price of undersized glass on overambitious optical zooms. More like pinhole cameras for those of us who still remember crystal sets and Ladybird clothing. 

A dark buzzard was circling effortlessly over the marsh until it spotted me and moved away. There were only a dozen male Mallards visible on the pond until a similar number of anxious females joined them from my side. I half circumnavigated the prairie then followed the edges of the fields to photograph different vistas.

My trusty old Lumix TZ7 is losing the will to live. It keeps producing soft images. Probably a build up of internal dust over time. The lens extension and retract seems to be getting slower and slower. I'll have to try pausing before taking a 'snap.' Just to give it time to catch up. The camera must be feeling its age after the hundreds of thousands of images I have taken. I know that feeling! 😉

Today's ride was in the car. As I had to buy a load of fuel blocks to avoid losing the last of our furniture to the insatiable wood stove. And it's still only 58F/14C indoors. So we keep watching advertising videos of heat pumps to keep warm. How the other half live, eh? The cost of an air sourced installation would be about 1/3rd the value of our home.

The Danish politicooze [upper classes] are trying to force wood burners to invest in green technology. The soot particles were threatening to overshadow VW's absolute diesel supremacy. How were they going to turn the Luddites green?? By threatening to take away their old stoves.

Some countries have subsidies for "green" home improvements. Denmark spent all the funds on giving away billions to foreign crooks in reclaimed taxes they were never due. Then there was the vast fleet of unusable F35s fiasco. These are so noisy they have "Concorde style" bans against overflying most European countries. At least, those with any remaining pretensions to democracy under EU Dictatorship.


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17 Nov 2018

17th November 2018: Dugh? DOGH!

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Saturday 17th 39F, cooler after a clear night. Now turned to grey overcast but sunshine expected later.

Today's hunt was short lived as the cloud quickly vanished. An erratic salvo just before 9.30am and then all went silent. About 20 guns had turned up in their drab green. Some wearing dayglo orange hats. Which rather clashed with the expensive, all weather togs.

By the time I had walked around to the other side of the field by the road they had broken into four groups. And were strolling back in opposite directions to their cars parked along the lanes. Presumably there were no pheasants left in this copse after several shoots over the last couple of weeks. The other birds seemed unnaturally nervous as they raced across the road from hedge to hedge to get away from me. No sign of a single gull when thousands are usually present on the nearest hill.

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Rant/

I had to smile in total disbelief at a new build supermarket's cycle parking facilities. Being a new build one might have thought they had total control. But no: Whoever designed the cycle parking is working so far above their pay grade they really ought to be in round the clock care.

Excellent choice of situation, just around the corner from the supermarket's entrance door. But! Some drooling moron has put a 2" kerb at the entrance to the cycle parking area. Right where cyclists want to quickly get away from the steady stream of traffic entering the car park from the busy main road.

They also forgot to put an exit in the railing enclosure. So that cyclists could easily reach the shop door. But no: Anyone using the cycle parking is pushed right back out into the same steady stream of traffic of motorized shoppers entering from the same, busy main road and all of them rubbernecking for a parking space. This must surely be considered a serious but completely unnecessary safety issue? A gap in the railings would surely be cheaper than a continuous one almost reaching the wall?

As is commonplace with Danish supermarkets, they also forgot to make any paths across the newly planted, perimeter grass. Thereby denying anybody a safe exit from the entire parking area on foot or by cycle. So they force pedestrians and cyclists to cross the wet and muddy grass. Or to walk or ride downhill to take the secondary entrance into a minor road. Leading back up to an even steeper uphill drag just to reach the junction with the main road. Dugh? DOGH!

In other new build supermarkets there is never any connection with the outside world except through the car park's only entrance. Obviously terrified of disloyalty by shoppers going right next door to the next [completely isolated] "island" supermarket surrounded in their pebble beaches of oversized gravel.


In one glaring recent example the council put a pavement ramp for cyclists to enter the car park by a narrow path across the [standard issue] giant gravel perimeter. Thereby saving the cyclists having to negotiate a busy traffic light at a four way junction [crossroads] and then having to climb the typically fierce car park entrance ramps around the bend.

The problem, in this case, is that they put the cycle pavement ramp beyond the entrance!! It doesn't align with the paved path by several feet! Dugh? DOGH! Oh, by the way, the cycle parking ramp at this supermarket is often completely blocked by their pre-pubescent staff stacking pallets of goods all around or even directly in front of the cycle racks! There are obviously convoys of lorry loads of drooling idiots working well above their pay grade in supermarket staffing, management and design.

Still chuckling to myself over these numerous faux pas I finally reached the checkouts. To find that the plastic battens [used to separate individual shoppers' wares on the belt] were completely inaccessible. This was due to some educationally challenged, drooling moron having fitted the overhanging sweet pricing strips almost touching the batten storage rail. You would not believe how common this is to many Danish supermarkets! Dugh? DOGH!

And no, this last is not at a new supermarket chain. They have literally hundreds of branches across at least four different countries already and they have been going since the 1980s. Most of their premises are new builds. No names. No pack drill. You [should] know who you are by now. All it takes is a little thought [and care] with the details. Preferably by someone who has a clue. Or even gives a shit. Rather than a zombie.

There is another recent new build supermarket in another village. This has a very large covered area outside the shop which is used to display goods. Guess what? Their cycle parking area is outside this area under a huge tree which drips constantly, year round. Pallets of goods often make it difficult to exit the shop and IMPOSSIBLE to reach the cycle rack. This must surely be a safety issue? But no. This is Denmark.

This same shop also forces all of their customers to walk around their safely covered product display in the pouring rain and wind and snow while "mingling" with the constant car park traffic. Which is always trying to park as near to the door as possible to avoid getting any exercise.[At all.] Y'all couldn't make it up. [Spit!]

This is the alternative reality of Danish supermarketry. Where no gaps are left in the endless shelving to allow customers to move freely. But must walk the entire length of the shop just to get to the next aisle. "Baaa.Baa. Baaa."

Ankle high, low pallets of goods on display often block these same endless aisles. Offering a perfect hurdle for people to trip over. Or to struggle to get past with their shopping trolleys. The chances of a catastrophic loss of life is highly likely in the event of a fire or other disaster!

This is Danish supermarketry where every single week they advertise discounted wares which never exist. Nor ever will at a discount.  Only in their very own, alternative reality of the supermarket offers magazines.  "We didn't get it in," trips off their youthful lips from several day's constant practice. Before being replaced with yet more fresh, new, Junior School aged faces.

Sadly Denmark quite obviously has no fire safety checks on supermarkets. Nor even a recognizable consumer protection system. Every supermarket chain is owned by one or two foreign piggy banks or offshore billionaires. So exactly the same goods appear in every single supermarket except Aldi.

Only the plastic carrier bags [and prices] change from one shop to the next. They even cheat on organic produce [when it is available] by putting a prominent symbol of the Danish flag on the packaging to make the busy shopper think is is the official, red, organic logo. Putting the same NON ORGANIC produce under an organic label is another trick of the trade. Organic produce is often so ridiculously overpriced they end up offering it cheaply on the last day of the "best before" label. Perhaps they think the tiny packs of tired organic produce are Nouvelle Cuisine? You can buy half a pig's worth of  pork mince [Danish: hakked grise] literally "hacked pig" for the same price as a small portion of organic mince!

In a country with a typically severe obesity problem the sweet, sugar bomb drinks, cakes and snacks displays are always longer and larger than any other. And, always placed close to the checkouts. Where the all too familiar queues are deliberately manufactured by understaffing with their ephemeral, underage bods. Anybody calling Danish supermarketry "a license to print money" is obviously just a cynic. 😏

That said, Denmark's supermarket chains beat Britain hands down on keeping villages viable for all. If you have more than a thousand souls to rub together then you probably have a choice of supermarkets in Denmark. I wonder if that is true of many villages in the UK?

/Rant.

Saturday's ride? A crosswind going both ways. If that makes any sense. I personally dispersed a huge flock of Rooks hanging about over a main road village. Though it was nothing personal. Blinding sunshine on the way back. 14 miles-ish. I forgot to check.

Sunday 18th 38F, grey with light winds. It feels even colder today. Saw three cyclists out training and a buzzard with somewhere else to be.  The gulls were somewhere else too.


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