29 May 2017

29th May 2017 Killers: Imortality or anonymity?

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Monday 29th 55F, 13C, overcast, patchy, distant mist and breezy. Hopefully the heatwave is over.

My recent near miss, as a pedestrian, by a blond using her phone while driving, was brought home by a UK statistic on the BBC News website: In 2015, in the UK alone, 22 people died and 99 were seriously injured by drivers using mobile phones. 

That is a greater number than those injured by the ugly, retarded fuckwit[s] who pointlessly blew up children at a teenage pop concert in Manchester. Why are terrorists so utterly terrified of little girls? Is it a desire for revenge because of some perceived sleight over their own ugliness, by their [culturally inferior] sister? Perhaps I should have put that in words of no more than two syllables? Whatever.

Who are the real terrorists? Raving lunatics hoping for immortality? Or raving lunatics hoping for anonymity? The fine in the UK for mobile phone use, behind the wheel, is a measly £200. A mere fraction of the cost of many mobile phones. It seems the politicooze wouldn't want to lose votes at the election by making weapons-grade, mobile phone ownership an expensive crime. 

How much does the UK spend, per year, watching ugly, retarded fuckwits planning the serial murder of little girls? How does that compare with their expenditure on catching mobile phone users behind the wheel? Do they flood the streets with high visibility, armed policemen every time a deranged phone user kills? Just asking. 

http://www.bbc.com/news/business-40079382 [Killers]

The traffic was remarkably light on my walk. There was a prickling dampness on the air but no visible sign of precipitation. Skylarks rose and fell like their delightful songs. They could teach the repetitive chaffinches a thing or two. Gaudy goldfinches moved about in small groups collecting nesting material. Nature is at its softest and fluffiest at the moment. Even the Japanese Knotweed looks half decent at this time of year. If, that is, you can ignore the tangle of bare, brown stalks from last year.

Copenhagen is getting special cycle signs to warn cycle path users of traffic congestion, alternative routes and other important information. Mid afternoon ride to the shops returning heavily laden. It never did brighten up as promised and only just scraped over a nicely comfortable 60F, 15C. 8 miles.

Tuesday 30th 60s, mild. Walk along the lanes just enjoying the spring. Late afternoon ride in gusty wind for 7 miles. The oil seed rape flowers are almost gone as the landscape is softened by the rapidly growing crops.

Wednesday 31st 56F, 13C, a mixed day of cloud, sun and gales forecast. 17m/s is over 35mph. As I left the shelter of the drive I was able to lean on the wind as I crossed the road. The traffic was heavier than the last few days as a builder's van completely failed to change course. I could not see the driver behind the windshield so cannot confirm a mobile phone handicap.

A fine crop of Dandelions offer a picturesque contrast to shaggy green. This large lawn was much appreciated by the birds a month or two back. With regular clocks of Fieldfares, Redwings and blackbirds. Now a few Starlings potter about before returning to their high rise, nesting boxes nearby.

In the absence of the aggressive Coot a solitary Mallard was tootling gently around the church pond. I remember the Coot pushing a group of unhappy Mallards off the pond into the far reeds some months back. More mallards were dozing on a lawn by a large garden pond. A dog barked at my presence and one duck's eye opened briefly and closed again. It was peaceful in the enclosed village but the huge trees guarding the church were rocking in the stiff wind. As shiny waves raced across the open fields. No ride today as I used the car to fetch supplies for The Head Gardener. Even a trike has its limits when it comes to ferrying grow-bags!

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22 May 2017

22nd May 2017 Spring is sprung.

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Monday 22nd 50F, 10C, almost calm, thick mist clearing quickly, bright overcast. Warm sunshine and 68F, 20C expected. The trike is roadworthy again, but am I?

I'm all for a bit of decoration but this roadside tree is not only "well over the top" but stuffed with singing birds. I shall have to dismantle my TZ7 camera again to remove fluff from its sensor. I believe the zoom lens sucks in dirt during its outward movements.

Is there any finer human experience than a rural stroll along the lanes in spring? Every tree furnished with its own singing blackbird. The air alive with all the other small birds as their songs fade off into the distance. Swallows skimming over the crops or swooping again and again over village ponds. Dandelions competing for altitude and abundance on every lawn and verge. My feet grew weary with the sheer burden of burgeoning life and the sticky warmth of hot sunshine on my back. But not from tricycling today. Too busy for a ride.

Tuesday 23rd 54F-64, 12-18C, overcast, with a light breeze. Too busy for a walk or ride. Mostly sunny with a few spots of rain and thunder.

Wednesday 24th 52-66F, 11-19C, heavy cloud and already windy. It turned into a mostly sunny day with gales. Another rest day being busy.

Thursday 25th 54F, 12C, light variable winds, bright but cloudy. Expected to be warm but rather cloudy at times. Bank holiday. Rather than repeat my usual walk to the village I took to the lanes to escape from the traffic. Though even turning off the main road was not without incident. As a real blonde failed to turn away from the pedestrian due to a chronic and debilitating mobile phone habit.

A few yards on my humour was further diminished by the sight of 10 McSlob's full cardboard jacket, weapon's grade, quadruple packaging scattered over several yards of the verge. I paused to turn it into an art form by recording it for posterity. A few yards more and there were 13 more items of clearly marked McSlob's litter! Then 3 more within another few yards. 26 items of litter thanks to one takeaway litter specialist.

I wonder what litter burden McSlob's is responsible for globally? Presumably it takes only one McSlob to dump 26 items within one hundred yards on a quiet rural lane well over 20 miles from any McSlob's outlet. I hear McSlob's will serve anybody. I have the proof in my camera. Another rest day, leaving me hot, aching and tired.

Friday 26th 56-75F, 13-24C, bright but cloudy with light winds. Another warm, dry, sunny day. My early ride found a lack of stock so I had to go on to another village outlet. Delightful ride though a hilly forest. Cool headwind going, warm crosswind coming home. Going well, with lots of climbing out of the saddle. 22 miles.

Another case of an oversized lawn getting away from them. The purple of flowering lilac hedges, in the background, is softened by distance.

Saturday 27th 62-75F, 17-24C, warming rapidly to another hot, dry and sunny day. Not a cloud in the sky. I'm not a hot weather person. Walked up to the woods and back along the marsh. I was wearing shorts so was attacked by all the nettles on the overgrown tracks. Only 6 ducks and a Heron visible on the marsh lake. Plus two hares and a very large Red deer. This vanished into the shrubbery as soon as I raised my camera. Already 71F at 10am. It reached a windy 75F later.

Sunday 28th 67F, 20C, bright, warm and windy with a risk of early showers. The sky to the SW was very dark as I set off for my walk. Glancing back I could see dark curtains of rain falling. I only managed a few hundreds yards before large raindrops started falling. Bringing with them that strange smell of wet roads after hot, dry weather. The temperature has dropped to 61F.


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15 May 2017

15th May 2017 New gloves, please, Nurse!

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Monday 15th 52-66F, 11-19C, calm, bright but overcast. A little overnight rain. More possible, but with sunshine later. Walked down the lanes to find the McLardy's litter zombie has spread its slime trail beyond the main roads.

For those unfamiliar with the bright, acid-yellow carpet this is a field of oil seed rape. It smells rather like it looks. Rather unpleasant [sickly sweet urine] and needs regular spraying and carpet bombing with pig's muck to make it into a very common food stuff additive. After it goes to seed and turns brown it is an impenetrable barrier to walkers. Talking of which, areas of Danish agricultural land are being turned into woods. This is to protect the deep well water supplies of cities from the burden of pesticides trickling ever downwards through the ground. No such luck with our private well. It even kills frogs!

No ride today as I was still busy with my project. It was calm and too warm to work hard and continuously in full sunshine at the height of the afternoon. I had to seek shade for a five minute rest! It was hell out there, but fortunately there were no mad dogs daft enough to be out and about.

Tuesday 16th 51F, 11C, overcast, windy and rain is forecast for all day. It did too! Rest day. The Danish news reports that robotic lawnmowers are doing terrible harm to hedgehogs during the night. The hedgehogs are not afraid of the machines because they do not smell dangerous. Perhaps robotic lawnmowers should not be allowed to run around at night?

Am I the only one who thinks everyone is becoming fat and lazy as a result of avoiding all physical labour? I'm 70 and never use a shopping trolley. I don't need a Zimmer frame with increased carrying capacity. The rain stopped at about 6pm. Too late to get to the shops.

Wednesday 17th 57-73F, 14-23C, heavy overcast with very light winds. An early ride will avoid black, morning coffee. The singing blackbirds never pause for breath around here. A bit like me, I suppose.

Afternoon ride to the shops though the gorgeous beech forest. 73F is hottest day this year with high humidity and bright sunshine. 10 miles.

Thursday 18th 65-73F, 18-23C, bright and breezy start. Walked to the village. We could see 25C, 77F this afternoon with 25mph gusts. It reached 73F, 23C on the house digital thermometer. 75F, 24C on the shed's digital thermometer. Both thermometer sensors are hanging in free air, in deep shade under roof overhangs facing north. No ride today.

Not sharp enough, for you?
It was moving rapidly!
I panned, so that's speed blur!

Friday 19th 57F, 14C, almost calm, overcast. Further warmth and sunshine is threatened. Nature is getting a bit over the top. With foliage bursting out everywhere and far more birds than strictly necessary. The verges are almost waist high in assorted grasses and weeds. All very delightful but ominous of the arrival of the local government's lawnmowers. The coots were absent from the church pond today. Perhaps they were disturbed by the constantly passing traffic. A hot and 'sticky' day with bright sunshine. Busy, so no ride today.

Saturday 20th 52-62F, 11-17C, heavy overcast, cooler with possible showers but brighter later. A cold wind caught me unprepared for the drop in temperature. After the recent 73F "heatwave" all the winter cycling and walking gear was being put away.

It was still cool and windy as I headed off. An early errand gave me a chance for a pleasant cross country ride via the quiet lanes in mostly bright sunshine. After I had finished the last of my shopping the rear gear cable broke inside the Chorus 11 speed lever. The chain dropped onto the smallest cog and promptly wrapped itself immovably into a tight figure of eight around the crank.

So I was forced to walk the heavily loaded trike home for the last couple of miles. While pulling the errant trike against the almost constant traffic by the scruff of its tri-bar extensions. I really can't remember the last time I had to walk a trike. It was hugely lucky that I wasn't miles from home. Now I'll have to search for another gear cable amongst the detritus in the shed. 23 miles.

Sunday 21st 60-68F, 16-20C, bright and breezy. In breaking news: Danish farmers are being offered crisis psychological help after certain pesticides were banned from being added to their children's corn flakes.

https://www.dr.dk/nyheder/regionale/oestjylland/landmaend-faar-tilbud-om-krisehjaelp-efter-pesticidforbud

I found a new Campag cable in the trike shed after struggling to get the overlong nipple, of the broken cable, out of the side of the Chorus lever. The lever had to come off the 'bars to give me access. I am excused upside-down, tricycle surgery on account of my age. Beware of copycat "clones." All cables are not the same! The genuine "Campag Bag labelled" cable has a [very] slightly smaller, shorter and more rounded nipple. The rapid deterioration, without prior warning, of the older cable may well have been the cause of my problems. [Well, all right then, not all of them.] Moving swiftly on: I will probably have to take the crank off to "unscrew" the tangled chain! New surgical gloves, please, Nurse!

Removing the crank and rotating it backwards soon released the chain. Though not without some obvious cosmetic damage to the crank's shiny aluminium finish. I replaced the rear gear cable and was instantly rewarded with excellent indexing once the slack had been taken up. Proof of my optimism will have to wait for a ride. 

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