31st October 2016 Erdogan's child-slave labour.

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Monday 31st 50-53-ish F, 10-12-ish C, grey overcast, very light winds, dry. Just a short walk along the lanes to watch a couple of thousand gulls being indecisive. The minor roads were so muddy I had to pick my way though it all. It would have been impossible on a bike let alone a trike. Still bunged up with my strange cold but I still plan on a 20 mile ride after coffee. Luckily the verges make excellent spittoons. And, it really doesn't matter if you miss. Whoops! Sorry, madam!

Rode to a 10-mile distant, DIY store for some nuts. The very last rural outlet yet to be stripped down to the bare bones by their master DIY chain to 50 bubble packs of crosshead screws, two electric drills and; "We can always get it for you?"

Still grey skies but virtually no wind. One supermarket was cheating by not marking down price reductions on the shelf. Probably in the vain hope that nobody would buy the stuff widely advertised as on special offer. I see more supermarkets are preparing for early closure by putting fat, ugly, bad-mannered local women permanently on the single, open checkout. It's a trick they have tried with great success elsewhere. I think they call it anti-marketing strategy. So they [the distant fund managers] can write the closure down as a loss to avoid paying exorbitant Danish taxes. It's a common strategy probably registered and patented as Trump's 6th Law of Failed Economics.

They [the antisocial, menopausal, village-mentality checkout fumblers] usually have a well-practiced smoker's cough and a terminal inability to manage even the most basic politeness. Often you get no more than the cough repeated at sporadic intervals in mitigating "conversation." Otherwise their lips would never open. Except to breathe a deep sigh of resentment that they should lower themselves to such servitude. After all, their great grandparents were important peasant farmers and revolting. To lower oneself to a mere shop girl was to forever blight their chances of marriage to another, local peasant farmer.

Though, of course, it should be remembered by itinerant, international tourists, that there are no words for "thank you" in supermarket shopping Danish. Just a mechanical "Y'all have a nice day!" <spit> hack-cough! Though I didn't even get the autonomic rhyme today at both supermarkets I was desperately helping to keep afloat. More everyday items discontinued to be replace by gaudily packed "own make" tasteless pig's swill. I am guessing here, but presume that is where unsold food ends up.

Long rows of once, proudly independent shops are closing down in the village high streets. Some with decades of local service behind them. Why should anybody shop locally when they can spend time and good money driving to buy Bangladeshi and Turkish, child-slave produced clothing, with a recognized label, in the big city chains? Isn't that a wonderfully apt term? It so nicely reminds us how these small children are often chained to their factory benches in case of fire.

Or, one can buy the tat cheaper still online. Often for less than you can buy half a yard of frayed and faded cloth, with a distinct whiff of 1950s, stale tobacco smoke, secondhand, at any village charity shop.

I was badly shown up by an octogenarian, women cyclist on an upright, electric bicycle with a smug glint in her eye. Serves me right, of course, but the shame will live with me forever. 22 miles, still not out. I am getting perilously close to 3000 miles for the year with two more months to go. So I must be doing something wrong.

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25th October 2016 Tail end Charlie.

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Wednesday 26th 41-47F, 5-8C. Very, very dark. I have cold-like symptoms. Short walk to the village and back. It's like 'Silent Spring' around here. Where are the birds today? A short outing in the car to fetch fuel for the stove. The beech split logs we bought as "stove ready" were so damp they caused an instant glaze over the inside of the stove and chimney. Even when finely split as kindling the wood would not burn! So it's back to the imported, compressed  "chipboard" bricks from the supermarket. I was looking at turbine cowls to see if they would help with our down droughts. Rotary cowls cost three to four times as much here compared with normal UK prices! They look identical to the Polish ones sold on eBay[UK] and Amazon[UK]. Too busy for a ride.

Thursday 27th 50-54F, 10-12C, still, dark, overcast, dry and calm. Meant to brighten up later but rather breezy from the SW. I am reliably informed that ChokerColour© sales are plummeting. Hopefully not too late for a class action for genocide? There was also another story in the news about air passengers being charged on their weight. Odd, isn't it? You get a tight carry-on weight allowance but physically carrying a second [or third] person onto the plane is not worthy of financial sanction? Nor even being charged for blatant, people smuggling? Shouldn't they need to carry two or even three passports? As in; "He's with me."

Coprinus comatus? Shaggy ink cap.

A walk along the side of the marsh, along the edge of the forest and then back long the track across the prairie. I disturbed hundreds of duck but completely missed capturing their flight. There seemed to be a lot of herons about today. I could hear shooting in the woods but with one ear now deaf I had no idea as to their direction. The quack has fixed me up with a specialist to have a poke around in there. I just hope that if I end up with a hearing aid it won't increase my frontal area. And, what about wind noise? Busy having a rest day.

Friday 28th 50-54F, 10-12C, breezy, rain at first clearing to weak sunshine. No walk but a 16 mile ride to buy a loaf. It was quite pleasant in the sunshine.

Saturday 29th 45F, 7C, calm with breezy periods, cloudy but clear sky in places. Early drizzle. The forecast is dry with sunshine. A strong and gusty crosswind was blowing when I left on my trike. Fortunately I was gently turning it into a tailwind and was doing 28mph on the flat for about a mile. It couldn't last and the return leg was very hard work for 6-8mph at times. A couple of strong club riders overtook me on carbon bikes and mentioned the headwind in passing. They were too polite to mention the huge sports bag full of shopping hanging out to just clear my rear wheels on either side. I really must find another way of doing this. 16 miles.

Sunday 30th 40-48F, 4-9C, calm and bright with sunshine. Walked to the village and back in very light traffic. Still feeling under the weather with a regular cough and dripping tonsils. Rest day.

Click on any image for an enlargement.

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24th October 2016 A martyr to tunnels.

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Monday 24th 40-48F, 4-9C, still. Today's forecast is sunshine and very light winds and might reach 50F. I walked a dogleg around the fields and woods in bright sunshine with decorative mist hanging in the hollows. My wandering disturbed a single deer, one buzzard and lots of pheasants. A bit soggy underfoot after overnight rain.

 Pigs in mist.

Having consumed the traditional milky morning coffee with two rolls thickly coated with marmalade I left just after 10 am. to ride to Odense. As usual, I carried 4lbs/2kg of Abus locks to secure my mount against city theft. I compensated by taking only my saddlebag and left the huge sports bag at home. There was a noticeable light headwind building on the way but not too bad. Having purchased my goods I stabbed myself on a packaging staple outside the shop and bled all over the pavement! I took the clumsiness as a signal to enjoy a snack while I staunched the blood flow by applying compression with a tissue.

Coming home was slightly less dramatic, apart from swerving around some picnicking swans beside the large pond and a wayward, but willowy blond hogging the center of the same cycle path. She turned and glared at me when I politely requested if I might pass in my best pidgin Danish. I then accelerated and left her far behind on the long drag up to Sanderum. Well, you have to, don't you?

Silly season.

A white police[?] helicopter and sirens disturbed the peace as I navigated the complexities of the Odense cycle system. I rode via two dark tunnels and between a multitude of rather large sheds with small gardens. Not unlike British allotments, but these are more like miniature summer houses with bars. These are normally equipped with beer and snaps gardens with assorted plastic seating. Socializing is obviously more important than actually growing veg or even flowers.

The shed inhabitants have a nasty habit of parking on the narrow grass verges on either side of the [now much] narrower cycle paths and causing a mud bath. Though spacious, off-cycle-path parking is readily provided, these areas are often empty. Besides, parking properly might inhibit the easy carriage of heavy, beverage reinforcements to the drinking sheds.

I should also mention having to coax several bunches of  pheasants out of my way to continue forward progress in the rural lanes. The pheasants are having their silly season. As are the magpies, but we wont dwell on their lurid, rural behaviour on the village green. Sunny at times but still rather cloudy for most of the day.

Five hours later, including an hour wandering the aisles of several DIY superstores, I had managed 42 miles. No ill effects thanks to sensible eating and drinking: Two thick slices of wholemeal bread as a mature cheddar sandwich, one banana, one Corny, muesli, dark chocolate bar and a small box of pure apple juice. I ate some pineapples with a digestive biscuit and a refreshing cup of tea on my return before enjoying a warm shower.

Not another dark and damp tunnel?

All this text to cover only one day's activities? If this gets any worse I shall have to join Twitter to practice my art of précis. Lets see now: Arose, muesli, walked, coffee, triked to Odense, shopped, swans, wayward blond, pheasants, home, 42 miles, showered. Will this do?

Are pictures allowed? A picture being worth at least 140 characters.[Allegedly] Why would anyone voluntarily imprison their thoughts in an undersized coffin? Are Iron Maidens the new, 21st century diary? Each word individually impaled on an evil, digital dictator's pike for all to see? Publish and be damned? Or publish and become an overnight [virtual] billionaire.

Tuesday 25th 41F, 5C, calm, very misty, still dark at 7.45 am.. The forecast is much like yesterday's but with even less wind. First frost due tomorrow morning. A Danish billionaire wants to build the first Danish gated community. Wouldn't a baseball bat and a Rottweiler be cheaper? Isn't it odd how different members of society 'enjoy' completely different freedoms and restrictions depending entirely on their status? I bet the gated community won't be  built right beside a motorway for "better access to the global markets." Why are billionaires entitled to privacy and security but nobody else is? The most important question, I feel, is how will the billionaires avoid each other within their self-imposed, concentration camp. ;-)

The mist hasn't cleared so I had better go and put lots of lights on my trike for the ride into town. By which time the mist suddenly cleared. Which was lucky because I have mislaid my clamps to the 'Smart' lights. Three stock items missing from the supermarket shelves. Endless items discontinued for a "better" product which tastes absolutely awful after years of long term loyalty to the previous item. What about some loyalty for the customer from the supermarkets themselves? Only 7 miles under largely grey skies with hardly a breath of wind.

Click on any image for an enlargement.

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