4 Mar 2019

4th March 2019 Feeding stations on the Tour-de-Transylvania?

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Monday 4th 46F, mild and dark grey. Brightening with rain, sunshine and violent, or stormy gusts, promised over the next two days. AKA: Secondhand Freya from Gravely Blighted.

I risked a walk after a heavy shower and even managed a few hundred yards. Then darker clouds headed my way and I turned tail. Just in time too, as the rain began to batter my blotting paper jacket. 

The latest cycling news is that blood doping is all the rage in The Peloton. Blood bank feeding stations, anybody? What's next? A swarm of cycling vampires picking off lone spectators on quiet, woodland stretches?

I wish they'd pick off those fat barstewards wobbling their few yards uphill with the climb leaders on those tortuous, 120mile, multi-mountain stages! Take out the weeds first, so to speak. Giving each of the racing cyclists a lethal taser might be too cumbersome. They might start using them on each other! It would be too much to hope for a bloodbath finally putting an end to the extremist limits of obscene narcissism.

What about setting a new rule? If you can't jog or cycle all the way up the mountain, to your chosen viewpoint, then you simply aren't fit to watch the real vampires athletes. Driving up there to park a car or camper van on the mountainside should be banned immediately as unsporting!

Only foot, or pedal traffic, beyond the foot of the mountain for spectators. That should sort out the worst of the deranged scum. Enjoying their annual release from Europe's largest lunatic asylums for the morbidly obese flashers and perverts!

I wonder how many of them voluntarily return to their ordained accommodation at the end of their brief escape from their habitual straitjackets? Instead of their brief claim to infamy. Trundling, breathlessly and obscenely uphill in mass-produced, XXXXL rip-offs of Borat poser's costumes. As if such hideous garments could possibly hide the flab from their lifelong incarceration for their own [and our] safety.

Tuesday 5th 49F, dark grey and showers. The wind is dying down quickly after a supposedly stormy night. Though I didn't hear anything myself. Sunshine was in very short supply on my walk. An hour and a quarter walking anti-clockwise up to the woods and back the other way. It was far more windy than earlier and much worse where I was exposed to the open "prairie" without any shelter at all.

At least it stayed dry. The first, though brief, sunshine came after 10.30am. Continued to tease with occasional flashes of brightness. Until short, but fierce, hail and rain showers finally put an end to seeing any sunshine at all. After that it remained determinedly grey and cloudy. All pleas to be allowed out for a foraging ride were, alas, summarily rebutted.

The world's fastest hypercar car is now an electric vehicle produced by an Italian car designing company. Does this mean no more 50 litre, V24s with 20 turbos and a dozen blowers? Probably not. Those in the market for such vehicles probably have half a dozen of each and pay a pittance for child care.


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