30th May 2019 Shades of grey.

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Thursday 30th 51F, overcast, wet and windy. A religious/bank holiday. No walk! It is only 8.35 and I am already suffering from cabin fever! What a horrible day! The rain and wind never let up.

Here's a moody picture to match the weather.

Friday 31st 55F, dark grey, but calm and dry at the moment. [7.45am] The forecast is mostly cloudy but dry. I had better have a proper walk to catch up on yesterday's almost complete absence of exercise.

A walk to the lanes and beyond in very still but humid conditions. Mist hung over what passes for hills with a clearly defined, lower altitude. A heron went past on its way to the marsh pond. While warblers and chaffinches busied themselves in the hedges.

Talking of which. I attacked the 15' beach hedge with the re-chargeable hedge clippers. I only managed to tame one side. The rest awaits my indulgence.

A young, male cyclist has been seriously injured in the Tour De  Himmelfart, in Odder, East Jylland, Denmark. A woman driver managed to pass the road closure arrangements and collided with the 18 year-old cyclist competing in the Time Trial stage. The young rider is said to be seriously injured but stable in hospital. The race includes classes for all ages from 9 upwards including both male and female riders.

https://twitter.com/OCKTDH
 

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28th May 2019 5/9 Blush! 😳

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Tuesday 28th 53-58F, bright but rather cloudy again. The forecast is dry with sunny periods. I may get a short ride in to buy the stuff I couldn't get yesterday due to a lack of supermarket stock. My hedge lopping elbows need a rest to recover.

A private, garden copse and an adjoining field pond borrow each other's growth to expand on their own natural beauty.  The copse hides a large pond and masses of foraging birds.

I walked along the marsh and on up to the woods. The grass was over knee high and sopping wet. As, soon, were also my trousers. Having reached the pond I decided to continue onwards. Only a nervous pair of Mallards were visible on the water and even they made a  swift exit. The densely overgrown marsh was full of birdsong. As was the forest as I skirted along the side of the vast field. It wasn't cold enough for discomfort and my clothing quickly dried as I walked. Light and shadow played on the glistening prairie. As swallows swooped low over the ripening seed heads.

Late morning ride had me returning after a few hundred yards. The temperature was 58F but the wind was blowing right through me! Back to collect a cycling jacket and off again. Not going too badly as I kept the revs up to fight the wind. Only 12 miles.

Wednesday 29th 52F, another bright start with cloud promised. A light westerly wind made my walk to the lanes feel rather too warm on the way back.

There is a rumour, doing the rounds, that the recently abdicated, Queen Bozo of the Amazons is to use her 37 billion, tax free windfall to provide Amazon manual staff a living wage with full back pay. Just more fake news I expect. King Bozo would never allow it! 😉

An afternoon ride to the shops. A bit breezy. The tailwind helped me to 20mph on the way. Back down to 10mph coming home. A past, Danish cycle racer had a few words to say about the senseless way some people drive.. and cycle!

With half a million sports cyclists in Denmark he scolded those who ride two abreast in training groups when they impede the traffic. I have myself often seen the "entitled" cyclists riding three abreast or even with an idiot "outrider." A little consideration goes a long way towards smoothing the way for all road users.

I will often pull into a lay-by, junction or even a private drive to let a bus or lorry pass unimpeded. Many drivers will wave their thanks as I look back for following traffic before continuing. I use my rear view mirror every few seconds while cycling [and driving] to ensure I minimize my impact on the traffic. A trike needs just as much room as a cycle but its greater width often inhibits drivers from overtaking against oncoming traffic.

Interestingly, there was a questionnaire below the cycling, news story. In which I scored a dismal 5/9! I can't even blame the language because I understood the questions well enough. I once made a great song and dance about being repeatedly called a spastic by one driver. Why? Because I turned left without stopping and waiting on the right for the lights to change twice. In fact it is perfectly legal to turn left in one manoeuvre provided one doesn't impede the following traffic. So now I no longer need to feel guilty when I swing left at the lights on empty village roads. [Does not apply to the UK/Japan/Australia where the local rules for a right turn apply.]

One definitely needs a bell on a bicycle. BY LAW! I rarely see bells on racing bicycles so assumed they did not apply to me with my sporting pretensions. [Stop sniggering at the back!]

And finally, the Danes raise an arm with the hand held upright and palm forwards to indicate the cyclist is about to stop. I had no idea this was required by law. Even when stopping at a traffic light. Lessons learned. Must try harder. The comforting message for my poor showing was that I must rarely cycle or I would be in for many surprises. They are probably correct.

I am often surprised at the politeness of many Danish drivers. Even after twenty years here I still find myself expecting the UK's absolute worst [ie. Average] driving behaviour. Conversely, I would imagine many Danes have very nasty surprises if they try to walk or ride a bicycle in Gravely Blighted. If they survive to tell the tale!

Can you imagine a UK driver giving a second thought to a pedestrian crossing a junction? In Denmark it is remarkably unusual for any driver to menace a pedestrian or cyclist crossing a junction in the path of their vehicle. I would often hold back at a junction when I first came here but would be firmly waved on. Nor do the Danes run across the junction. They fully expect the driver to pause for them [the pedestrian AND cyclist] and have been taught to walk steadily at a normal pace.

My memories of the UK roads are "every man for himself" [Aka:Total anarchy] unless several large policemen are actually present. And even then... A UK driver actually holding back instead of cutting off a cyclist crossing a junction? Fake news! It never happened!

Did I tell you how incredibly rarely you hear a car horn in Denmark? Civilization arrived early in Scandinavia but never seems to have crossed the English Channel. I put it down to the corrupt, carriage riding, upper classes making the laws of the road back in 19th century Gravely. Look how they managed to ban road race cycling for over a century. It's no wonder the cyclist and pedestrian are 4th class citizens in Gerrt Briton. Every car owner imagines themselves [en]titled.

You never see a Dane running on a pedestrian crossing. The pedestrian has THE RIGHT OF WAY! God help you if you claim that right in the UK! You'd better know where the nearest A&E is situated. Or pray somebody cares enough to call an ambulance. Probably a foreign tourist? British drivers will lift your limp and bleeding body and dump you on the pavement to keep the traffic flowing! I kid you not!
 

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27th May 2019 Pass the snow plough, please?

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Monday 27th 54F, cloud clearing to sunny periods but quite breezy. Walked to the village to the sound of birdsong. More hedge hacking before lunch.

I had to trailer several cubic yards of compressed hedge clippings to the recycling yard. So shopped from the car.

Hawthorn caterpillar browsing on the crops.  

A criminally insane, lorry driver cut me off on a wide corner. He was driving a bright red, two story, car transporter with matching trailer, at insanely high speed. While deliberately choosing to clip the opposite verge despite easily seeing my own approach. It hardly seems worth mentioning that there were double white lines supposedly protecting the corner. Perhaps he failed to notice them because so many other drivers had cut the same corner to wear away the road markings. Too lazy to go all the way around the bends despite sitting in high speed wheelchairs?

Afternoon: More hours spent hedge clipping. Sounds boring? Not if the hard exercise helps to keep me fit and well. Nobody else can do it for you! Mankind seems hell bent on following the low inactivity levels of the ruling classes of the past. While simultaneously consuming a diet to match one required for heavy labour.

Every tool and shortcut towards physical laziness is just another nail in our own coffins. Almost my entire life has been consumed in hard physical labour of one kind or another. I was the only one in our neighbourhood who cleared snow from the communal paths. These days it is a requirement, by law in Denmark, that pavements in front of private homes are kept clear. Yet many village pavements are still knee deep in snow until it finally thaws.

Never let a copse or wood limit your farmland expansion plans. Keep on trimmin!

Modern, plastic snow scrapers [like big shovels] are dirt cheap, lightweight and almost effortless in use. Even for some octogenarians like us! These shovels can be bought at many Danish supermarkets in season.

Few, if any, of our neighbours have ever been arsed to clear snow from the shared drive. Few can be arsed to trim the grass on their boundaries which is [again] a requirement by law. These same neighbours are/were 1/3 of our age and had sedentary jobs. With the car always parked close to the front door to avoid any unwanted exercise. Except that incurred in lifting yet another "energy" drink or beer can to their drooling gobs.

When my wife and I went to shopping malls in the city we always took the stairs as a matter of personal pride. 99.999% used the gently sloping, rubber belt escalators in case they got short of breath. The only exercise they ever get is walking, or more often, hobbling to their cars. Which are always parked as close as possible to the doors of the supermarket. Many drivers will stop beside the doors to let "the shopper" out before parking nearby.

They then loll on the handle of the shopping trolley like an invalid. Or someone recovering from crippling injury. While they creep about in ultra slow motion seeking salty, fatty and sugar laden crap to "keep up their energy levels." They must surely know the risks, by now. From leading such a low exercise, piss poor diet of an existence. I often wonder if there is a slow, massed, suicidal, death wish amongst the human race to compensate for massive overpopulation?

The reliance on prescription, happy pills, just to get through daily life, seems to have become the norm. Entertainment has to be constantly on steroids to maintain interest in their deliberately boring lives. Drug abuse seems to be increasingly the norm amongst the young. They never look up from their latest and greatest, tiny window on their boring, intensely secondhand worlds. It is  no wonder they need constant, chemical stimulation!

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25th May 2019 The hedge from Hell!

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Saturday 51F, a grey, calm start. A walk to the lanes in light traffic and gorgeous, spring countryside. Nearly witnessed a classic head-on crash on a sharp corner.

The lazy driver on the inside of the corner let their car swing well over the double white lines on the exit. While the oncoming car on the outside was very typically cutting the corner by over a yard inside the double white lines.

A view between rough-cut, field hedges to the distant sea.

A shriek and scrub of tyres and they both continued on their way as if nothing had happened. The vast majority of drivers in Denmark treat every single corner exactly this way, despite the double white lines.

So one must assume that such road markings do not feature in the compulsory driving lessons required to obtain their "Joke Shop " driving licenses. I have seen driving instructors, when alone in the car and even some police cars behave just the same on corners. Buses, lorries, vans and motorcyclist all follow the same potentially lethal  pattern of behaviour.

The trees and hedgerows were full of birds and flowers again. Long swathes of poplar catkins were lying along the road like dirty slush in winter. I saw two hares resting, almost invisibly, in spray tracks in two roadside fields. The image shows the more distant one which held its ground long enough for a 'snap.'

Spent the day reducing our shared, 20' hedges by about six feet. None of our neighbours has ever shown any interest in helping to keep the boundary hedges under control. They are a mixture of Hawthorn and equally prickly plum trees which we call Blackthorn. By which I mean the hedge trees. Not the neighbours. We call them "The Woodentops" when we are being polite because of their chronic woodcutting fetish.

Our Blackthorns are not the usual sloes but produce small, sharp, yellow plums and have lots of long and really vicious, needle-sharp thorns. The tree trunks are very hard wood which resists even a brand new blade in a hand, bow saw. Only a chainsaw has the cutting power and stamina necessary to make much progress on the larger sections.

We inherited this hedge as mature trees which had been cut down to above head height prior to our purchase of our scruffy, detached, rural hovel. The Head Gardener has considerably thickened out the mass of The Hedge with new cuttings. While I have expended countless hours cutting back these same hedges to various heights over the years. A thankless task given its great depth and height.

I have always been denied my desire to cut the heavy trunks right down to the ground. To start again with THG's much slimmer and more manageable additions. Some of the multiple trunks have amalgamated into massive clumps nearly 3' in diameter. Their heavier branches fix the minimum depth of the hedge as it grows ever wider, higher and tattier. So I end another day literally aching all over from yet more hard exercise. It's not just using the loppers at arm's length but constantly moving the 15' ladders around. Just to reach the offending overgrowth.

Sunday 26th 51F, wet and windy with a heavy overcast. The official "seaweed grapplers" both claim rain and sunny periods. With rain on the windows, both front and back, there will be no early walk this morning. Late morning walk instead trying to capture all the wild Hawthorn flowers under a grey sky.

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23rd May 2019 Xi's CFC chemical warfare.

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Thursday 23rd 51F, cool, bright, a bit cloudy and rather breezy. I am aching all over from a spot of DIY involving hours of lying on my side, for two days, working under a low overhang.  "Swab, please, Nurse?" Jack of all trades... good at none.

Walked to the lanes in breezy sunshine. The farmer was spraying a field beside the road but the wind was [hopefully] carrying any overspray away from me.

The health news is that many cancers are related to a poor diet. High in red meat, highly processed "foods" and sugar [soda] but low in grains, fibre, fruit and vegetables. So now you really can can officially ask for a supersized Cancer bun and a Lethal sugar bomb drink, to go. There's a joke about blast radius in there somewhere but I won't push it.

Meanwhile, Emperor Xi, the World's richest man, by an order of magnitude and under whom nothing happens without his getting his cut: Is profiting from ozone-destroying CFCs. This, despite a global ban. A sunny day but rather windy. Peaking at 65F. I was excused a shopping ride on medical grounds. [Aka: Still aching all over.]

Friday 24th 53F, bright and sunny start but windy and some cloud around again. Due to deepening wriggles in the jet stream, thanks to a very much warmer Arctic, Denmark's average temperature has already risen by 1.5°. Given the low lying nature of Denmark, coastal flooding is extremely likely. A lot of coastal homes are already at or below present sea levels. "Get your Wellies here! Lovely Wellies!"

Fortunately, Denmark is building lots of cloudburst storage ponds. So that's alright then. Don't get me wrong. They make excellent wildlife habitats and beautify the villages and countrysides. The sheer number of these ponds being dug and naturally planted, suggests a gloom and doom prediction for future weather. They seem to be springing up, or rather down, everywhere I go.

A longer walk, clockwise up to the woods. Past the oaks, the field maples and on through, or rather under, the now densely dressed beeches. Then back down to the road via the steep track with fine views out over the local countryside. An afternoon tootle on the trike into spitting rain under a grey sky. It rained properly on the way back! Only 7 miles.

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20th May 2019 Pardon?

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Monday 20th 61-70F, calm, quite warm with a bright overcast.  Blue patches leading to occasional, weak sunshine. Walked to the lanes. Paused several times to watch gangs of swallows swooping around buildings. A chevron of 50-60 geese went over heading east.

The crops are maturing. They use stalk shortening technology so the fields are quite amazingly smooth topped. Knee-high crops are supposed to avoid weather damage. I like the odd mixture of mechanical texture laid out on the rolling landscape. The oil seed rape flowers are going quickly now. There one day and gone the next. It reached 70F in a sunny afternoon.

Tuesday 21st 59F, overcast and breezy. Rain is forecast for this morning. There was a 40mm cloudburst in the east. Had to go to the city to buy "stuff" no longer available locally.

Wednesday 22nd 50F, overcast, windy and damp. Spots of rain as I walked to the lanes. I jumped onto the verge whenever a lorry came past. It saved me getting a soaking from tyre spray and usually produces a wave of thanks from the driver. The warblers were competing with the chaffinches for attention above the traffic noise.

Talking of which: Democratic Denmark is having a public demonstration and consultation of the new F35 fighters today at and around their airbase. With the last crop of elderly fighters flying at intervals to compare noise levels during normal taxing and take-off manoeuvrers. Which is a brilliant idea IMO. The affected public in the nearby villages were even consulted about where to put microphones to monitor actual noise levels. Anonymity was guaranteed for those reporting their experiences of noise levels.

We used to live in rural Wales and were frequently overflown by warplanes of every variety. Which were often banked over on their sides as we stared up at the pilots and the rivets on the planes as they roared overhead. Four Hercules transports at a time, with their wing tips pointing straight down at us only 100 feet below was quite normal. The price of living quite isolated, rural detached.

Now we can watch YT videos of the latest planes on their training flights in exactly the same area. Much like farming, I am interested in the technological aspects of warplanes. There is no question that they are impressive machines and often very beautiful in their own way. I just wish they didn't have to drown out all conversation while the pilots practice their remarkable skills for hours on end.  You couldn't pay me enough to make me live in a palace in London. Or near any other busy major airport.

Noise is highly subjective. The wrong music and the wrong noise can be extremely irritating. We both hate the roar of tyre noise from our nearest road. At the same time it is very popular with motorcyclists due to its twisting and humped nature. The sound of  a convoy of dozens of high performance motorbikes "having fun" is exhilarating and often makes us smile. While the roar of planes overhead soon wears thin. As does the racket from a solitary moped, with a noisy exhaust, crawling along at 15mph! Don't even get me started on motor lawnmowers!

And chainsaws? Abusers should be given automatic, life imprisonment as a deterrent! They are not even necessary any more with excellent and powerful electric [battery] chainsaws available now. For those sawing firewood all day long in a village or hamlet there is no longer any excuse for their sociopathically selfish behaviour . Nor is a chainsaw the best tool for dismantling pallets for firewood. A humble Chinese jigsaw will do. You sholdn't burn the chipboard spacers anyway!

It rained lightly for most of the day and only cleared up in the early evening. 

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15th May 2019 Spring is here! [There and everywhere.]

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Wednesday 15th 44-57?F, a sunny start with a breeze. The politicooze must have been reading my blog. One of them wants to end the lifelong pension system for the self-serving, mutually-parasitic, musical chairs artistes. I'm amazed that mutually-parasitic, political media persons don't qualify for the same lifelong pension as well.

We must all pray we don't live long enough to rely on one bath a month with the aid of the <cough> social services. As the talking heads auto-promise [on auto-cue] to spend billions they don't have and never will have.

Odd that, considering many parties have had nearly a century to practice what they preach at each and every election [worldwide.] Supersize me on the bullshit snake oil. You want fries or empty promises with that? I had to buy more grow bags. So shopped in the car again. Wot a hypocrite! 👼

Thursday 16th 51F, sunny start but breezy. Cloud expected. A walk to the lanes to snap away at the gorgeous countryside with my camera. It is looking its best with fresh green leaves and crops with countless flowers adorning the hedgerows. There are birds everywhere. I managed to take 45 pictures before it became fully overcast.

A hare popped out into the road and sat there waiting for me to get closer. Then dashed away along the lane until it came face to face with a cat sitting in the road. With lightning speed the hare decided I was less of  danger and raced back towards me. Before taking a sharp left and vanishing back into the crop. You wouldn't believe the excitement you can have living in the countryside.

A mature lady came cycling down the hill with her faithful dog jogging effortlessly alongside on a lead. I only see them once in a while, in different places, but she must cycle some distance. I never saw dogs running beside bicycles until I came to Denmark. We once saw a mutt riding a scooter at high speed with a dog racing frantically alongside on a short lead. Unfortunately the mutt did not crash. So probably went on to breed and produce more sickly mongrels like himself.

Talking of wasters. I see St.Margrethe Vestager [blessed be Her name] is aiming for the top post in the EU as one of the crap, tin-pot dictators and career politicoozer retires. So there may well be hope for the EU after all. It's a shame she wasn't around before the retiree drove Gravely Blighted into the Brexit lunacy cycle!

Friday 17th 50-52F, overcast, breezy. A bank holiday with all the shops closed. It rained. Walked to the lanes. A bird of prey flew slowly through our garden lower than the trees. Possibly a goshawk due to the "pointy" wings.

Saturday 18th 50-66F, overcast, light wind. Enjoyed a walk to the lanes to be treated to a flying display by a Red kite. It was obviously searching for breakfast as it worked its way upwind. With occasional flare outs which carried it several yards backwards when it spotted something. It showed amazing acrobatics as it turned sharply from side to side. It was quite close at first and then only within reach of my binoculars as it headed uphill into the increasing mist.

At one point the mist was thick enough to be visible as low clouds drifting against the dark crops. It all arrived rather suddenly. Spreading across the landscape to obscure the woods and copses. The mist soon cleared to sunshine later on. So I went for a shopping ride. Crosswind going both ways. Only 12 miles. I was undressing at each chance I got. Ending up in just a racing jersey and shorts. The jacket, cardigan, cap and gloves all went into the 40 litre, Overboard, duffel/saddle bag. Fortunately I had taken the fingerless mitts with me.

Sunday 19th 55-67F, overcast and breezy. Another warm day is promised but probably no sun until this afternoon. It took a long time to arrive but eventually became warm and sunny.

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13th May 2019 A sprung spring sprang.

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Monday 13th 47-59F,  rather windy but sunny start becoming cloudy. Walked to the lanes. Bright "horses" raced across the fields in the cold wind. Danish media has been showing pictures of brown clouds blowing off the fields due to very dry soil.

The politicooze thought it would draw attention to their desperate election hopes if they travelled by steam train to sell their snake oil. They managed to start at least 10 wildfires! 😏 Well, they say no publicity is bad publicity!

Tuesday 14th 46-55F, it started sunny but then steadily clouded over as I returned from the woods. The explosion in insects marks the arrival of the warblers. I heard three and saw two. Lots of birds in the woods as I circled via heavily overgrown fire breaks. My boots were thickly covered in pollen by the time I arrived home. The crops are in seed and all shiny, soft and fluffy.

I had to fetch a load of grow bags so shopped from the car. Only two normally stocked items were not stocked today. I read, what now seems like decades ago, about supermarkets having a perfect ordering system thanks to computer monitoring of sales and automatic e-ordering. Not here they don't! You can never [ever] rely on getting bread, organic milk, tomatoes or lettuce.

What a damned shame "they" only ordered pre-pubescent staff. To keep the whole bløødy shambles rumbling along to bring in the billions to the absent billionaire owners. As they compare the size of their super-yachts, the size of their garages full of luxury cars and the acreage of modern daubs on the gilded and marble walls of their sprawling, utterly tasteless mansions. It will be a blue moon before Bozo pays his staff properly and treats them like human beings. Oh the irony! He imagines himself Emperor of the Amazons.

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10th May 2019 A martyr to Equinilibrium!

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Friday 10th 51F-ish, rather cloudy with overnight rain. A very rare visit from "A Company Technician." Having the chimney sweep call in the same year is almost "a rave" in terms of our social calendar.  Drove to the city later [again.] Well, you have to sometimes, don't you? Our first new TV in 15 years was a dud.

 Toxic!

Having the company technician call to confirm our worst fears as [quote] "perfectly normal" was enough whitewashing for any averagely cynical couple of our age group. Back it went with as much haste as I could muster from our ancient car when towing an equally ancient chariot trailer. If  they were any older I'd have to drive against the traffic. With a man carrying a red flag up front.

Returning stuff in Gravely Blighted is fraught with fear and trepidation. They've had hundreds of years to practice their "You've used it" in a vicious and demented, low bellow designed to embarrass you enough to go away. Having Local Trading Standards Officers covering your back doesn't help one iota. You are automatically guilty for having bought the shop's crap in the first place. Guilty by association!

I nearly caused a severe case of Equinilibrium today amongst the local, Viking ponies. They thought I was carrying food when it was only a rolled up, advertising newspaper. You should have seen the look of disappointment on their faces! Anyone would have thought I'd beaten them with it! I quite like ponies. But I couldn't eat a whole one.

A miffed, Viking pony planning invasion in revenge for a 1000-year old misunderstanding.

The latest climate news is the Danish government is entirely responsible for allowing the world's CO2 to pass the tipping point. They keep allowing low lying swamp to be grassed for grazing. With dire results on CO2 slippage. I shall be holding them to account at the coming election. In fact I may well be chanting [bare breasted of course] outside the local polling station. Why "station?" They haven't seen a train around here since the '50s.

I'm quite torn between the immediacy of a hand painted placard. Or something almost legible from our ancient [diesel-pooter] printer. Having to use Giggle to translate my treasonous thoughts from West Country Gravely to Pidgin Danish might be a mistake.

I daren't ask for advice from any of the locals. Not after that newspaper & pony express incident. I get enough weird  looks already! That's the problem with being the only Tricyklist in the village. Trehjuletcykelrytter doesn't quite trip off the tongue like the more familiar English term. Perhaps that's why I'm so slow?

Saturday 11th 34-63F calm with a white frost on the grass, but sunny and warming quite quickly. Some fluffy clouds but should be a pleasant day. A pleasant walk to the village. The farmer came around spraying outside our hedge in the early afternoon. With the sound of kids playing in local gardens it was timed to perfection.

Sunday 12th 45F, sunny and windy with fast moving cloud from the west. Walked to the lanes. The wind was so cold I should have worn gloves and a thicker jumper.

The Swedish climate activist and part time schoolgirl, Greta Thunderbug, is actually being allowed into Denmark. I expect the climate denialists amongst the ruling politicooze hoped to ban her on some technicality, or other. But the election is underway and there are a lot of desperate gravy train riders facing an imminent, lifelong pension.

Pretending to be mildly interested in climate change for a few seconds on local TV might just swing the odds amongst the swingers.The wanted posters are going up all over the place but I am unsure where, or how, one claims the reward for capturing any of these desperadoes. I missed the lesson on becoming a bounty hunter.

A ride to the shop is planned but don't get overexcited. It will not be of any great length.  

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9th May 2019 Abandon Hope.. 2.

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Thursday 9th 50F, misty, dead calm with a heavy overcast and light overnight rain. A walk to the lanes. After weeks of  my selflessly kicking branches and twigs back onto the verge from the hedge slashers. Now the lawnmowers have been along and pushed them all back onto the road! I'll have to start all over again while dodging the sociopathic commuters.

Toxic landscape.

The really big news is that useless plastic waste may soon be converted into a useful form in an acid bath. The resulting material can be fully recycled and reformed into new and useful plastics with a wide variety of uses. A new chemical industry, valued at trillions, may even save a whale or two from a painful death.

Meanwhile the politicooze have their mouths open even wider than usual. It must be another election to the gravy train! The empty promises are already falling like mud slides. The village high street was already defaced by their ugly mugshots on wanted posters on the very same day it was announced. 

Have you ever tried watching a parliamentary debate with the sound off? I highly recommend it. The same lies and empty promises hurled around like raging apes at the zoo.

Another toxic landscape.

Except that you can't tell which party is which. So whether they claim to represent your own biased opinions, or their own, no longer matters. They claim they serve their country. Aren't public servants supposed to serve ALL of the people?

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8th May 2019 Abandon hope..

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Wednesday 8th 41-46F, dark overcast and a light breeze. Some sun is threatened depending on your loyalties to which Danish forecast service. There was no mention from either about yesterday's hail and rain.

The Prime Minister of Denmark has announced another round of musical chairs to gain a free pass to the life-long [1st Class] gravy train.

The violent lurch to the extreme right is bound to continue. Even the extreme right is trying to distance itself from the ultra right. Probably in the vain hope of saving a few of their sitting members in the present government coalition from getting an early pension. Something they would cheerfully deny to the most work-crippled, lifelong manual worker. Who will be expected to suffer for years more to pay for early retirement for Denmark's crooked bankers.

Since "The Powers That Be" couldn't find a way of ridding themselves of the big city ghettoes in smart, modern blocks of flats, they have decided to simply demolish them. Which means there won't be so many would-be competitors at the next Winter Olympics.

Qualifiers are expected to fall heavily in Precision Stoning of the Police and Fire Brigade events. The Team and Individual Arson disciplines in large, fully occupied blocks of flats [apartments] are also bound to suffer a loss of qualified representatives.  

Meanwhile thousands of private homes are expected to be demolished due to pitiful building standards in the 70s and 80s. No damp courses and stuffed to the rafters with toxic chipboard it seems.  Not to mention the thousands more homes which will have to be erased from the Danish landscape around Chumpy's F35 intolerably noisy air bases. Talking of which: They're back! I must find that tripod for the SPL meter. So I can get some max SPL data to share with you all.  😏 🙉

One might hope all this land clearance would lead to public or even country parks. Or even a few public footpaths. But the farmers are bound to get the freed-up land for peanuts. There is enormous demand to grow even more toxic crops and poison even more drinking water resources to satisfy insatiable EU demands.

Basically it's a race between lowly Denmark being submerged by rising sea levels. Or desertification as the farmer's shadeless prairies bake into dust bowls under the onslaught of endless droughts. Like last year's and the beginning of this one. Only a couple of weeks ago there was a brown fog swirling over every field.

A walk to the lanes with cold hands in the light breeze. It is an extremely floriferous year. Even the oil seed rape is going crackers in the flowering department. I saw a single slug on the road today. The mass invasion of killer slugs seems to be over for the moment. Whether their new territory proved too toxic for them. Or they could not survive the drought, is unknown. In previous years there were billions in a filthy tide mark along both edges of every road. The gardens had buckets full per square meter.

Several European countries have suggested 25% of the EU budget should be spent on fighting climate change. The rest of them want to continue paying out for the car parks of non-tax paying, dodgy multi-nationals claiming their tarmac is agricultural land so they can claim a nice, big, fat subsidy. The other half is going to more multinational crooks building motorways to nowhere using slave labour but claiming sky high wage levels. The profits are being channelled through European Banks who need the money to stay afloat against the costs of insuring against rising sea levels.

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6th May 2019 TZ7 dust bunny eradication.

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Monday 6th 40-51F, bright sunshine, a bit breezy with fast moving white clouds. Walked to lanes with eyes watering and my hands stuffed deep into my jacket pockets. It keeps becoming overcast with very light showers. There are Chaffinches singing or calling everywhere I go. It became increasingly windy and there were hale showers in the afternoon.

Tuesday 7th 42-51F, bright start but increasingly cloudy. A chilly wind as I walked around the rural block with detours. Probably about four miles altogether. The woods were looking well as they come into leaf. Each tree in their own time. Lots of birds about. Including a pair of brown birds of prey with long tails. Took 41 pictures this morning so should have enough for at least a couple of days.

I just cleaned my TZ7 camera sensor of dust [again.] The dust was projecting a darker blob onto every image I captured. There are numerous YT videos on cleaning the sensor on Panasonic Lumix TZ series cameras. Some videos are much better than others. Some are complete waste of everybody's time! I really wouldn't try dismantling these cameras without watching at least one video first.

Spot the difference?

You'll want a very fine cross-head screwdriver sized "0000" and a pair of long nosed tweezers. Don't work over a carpet! Keep the tiny screws in a shallow container where you can pick and place them with the tweezers. The screws on the TZ7 are all the same size except for the three inside which hold the sensor plate in place.

Each of the TZ series is different. So do your homework properly first before even considering dismantling! How else will you discover how to release the ribbon cables?

Afternoon shopping ride in a cold wind. Tailwind going. Headwind coming home. My NW MTB shoes were hurting my feet for some reason. I have only just changed from my NW winter MTB boots. These "summer shoes" have tricycled literally tens of thousands of miles with me in them. I'll just have to try loosening the straps to see if that helps. With my present low mileage it would be a waste of money buying new cycling shoes now. The NW shoes have a wider last than Shimano and Specialized. I tried both makes but couldn't wear them for long. Only 7 miles. [Today.]

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3rd May 2019 leevin the trash be-hind, innit?

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Friday 3rd 41-49F,  bright at first but with a cool wind. Walked to the lanes. Heavy shopping in the car. Rain and hail in the afternoon.

Saturday 4th 36-48F, cool but bright, breezy, cloudy and sunny. Overnight ice has slid off the house roof and frozen fast to the roof of the greenhouse. The forecast is for sunshine. Or only a little sunshine and rain. Take your pick from these two highly competitive, expert, Danish, weather services.

I'm a tree!

Walked to the lane against a cold wind under a grey sky. A Marsh Harrier[?] took off from beside the road and soared low on the wind just ahead of me. As it peered intently downwards in the hope of breakfast. It soon crossed to the field opposite just as I tried to capture it with my camera. Tilting this way and that with stiff, but narrow wings as it worked its away across the next, vast prairie. Too small for a Red kite but both birds are quite similarly marked. Sorry about the poor image.

Meanwhile: A <koff> heddmasta headmaster [and I use the term loosely] in leaderless, gravely blighted claims his skool skowl schoole dunt tollerete alow bool bullying. wot a lier lejer liar, eh?! It seems a now, world famously awarded young lady set standards far too high for His <cough> sckoole and its trashy pupils and staff.

The headmaster has been placed on the [years-long] waiting list for help with his chronic delusions of grandeur and denial of reality. I'm afraid early retirement is out of the question because his sickness is still so prevalent, amongst this sort of trash in education. Most UK schools would have to close through lack of <cough> leadership if they had a good clear out. Meanwhile the brave young lady has moved onto another school. Much further away from the trash she safely left behind.

Rumours that the staff held a lavish celebratory party at a 5-star restaurant before moving onto expensive, strip night clubs, entirely at taxpayer's expense, have been downplayed by the lokal edjikashun 'thority. Why do they call these corrupt, self-serving institutions "authorities" when that is the one thing they always lack?

It is reported that pupils waiting outside the perpetually closed, school gates are all hoping, forlornly, for a useful education in self defence against bullies and [perhaps] sum learnin' for working down [sic] at Amazons or McLardy's. [If they're very lucky!]

Rather than getting the official, fast track lesson on how to protect your drug sales turf with knife and gun crime. Or, model, street gang organisation for higher achieving sociopaths. Accounting for self-employed, protection racket operators? The latest movement in expressionist graffiti [in oils] for those of an artistic bent but seriously, educationally challenged. There must be something on the curriculum they like?

While those going onto higher education will fully expect a course [with one-on-one tutorials] in advanced sex trafficking. Or the personal customisation of stolen, luxury cars for pimps, gangsters, estate agents and modern slave drivers. I hear it's nice work if you can get it. 😎

Sunday 5th 36-53F, bright and breezy with sunny periods. White frost on the grass again. Walked to the lanes against the cold wind. A teenage girl was walking towards me in the far distance. On a deserted rural lane I hope my own presence didn't make her feel uncomfortable. She turned off before our paths met but it was an exceedingly rare event to see anyone else out walking on my morning stroll.

A hare popped out from behind the hedge only yards away and instantly thought better of it. Meanwhile swallows were charging about enthusiastically in increasing numbers. Skimming low over the dark green crops they catch the sun in bright flashes of their white undersides as they twist and turn. Gulls too often flash brightly in the sunlight against a darkened sky. Busy all day at home.

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2nd May 201 Dumbing down the Tesla AI.

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Thursday 2nd 45-56F, windy, heavy overcast with the threat of some sunshine or none at all. Or some rain or none at all. There are now four, new, previously unknown and different pesticides to be found in many Danish, deep bore, drinking water wells. It seems as if nobody thought to test for them. So they didn't exist.

Walked to the village and back in a gusty wind. My cap blew off as a huge lorry passed. I was careful not to be distracted as I retrieved it. So avoided being run over by a closely following car.

Well, they had to follow the lorry closely, didn't they? Just in case there was a new and unexpected break in the 3 miles of completely unbroken double white lines. On this endlessly twisting and humped, rural road. Where most corners are completely blind. With oncoming traffic always driving on the wrong side of the road.

I've just had a horrible thought. Tesla is going to have to teach its auto pilot to cut across every double white line on half of the corners and overshoot on all the rest. Randomly crossing double white lines along the straights and always exceeding the speed limit will be very helpful too if they really want to fit in.

Otherwise the Danes will shun these cars as failing to grovel to Jante's Law. However, given the present doubling of the purchase price through Danish import charges. [To pay for the shiny new fleet of Chumpy's loud-mouthed F35s.] Not to mention the compulsory demolition [without compensation] of thousands of homes around the noisy airfields. Teslas are very unlikely to sell many cars anyway. Phew, that's a relief! We don't want any of these cars causing panic and confusion. It would be like aliens landing and then trying to drive without a clue as to how to do it badly enough.

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1st May 2019 Peace and Quiet of the Danish countryside?

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Wednesday 1st May 47F, light breeze with dark overcast. Just a walk to the lanes. The cold wind which had picked up made it feel rather unpleasant.

I wonder whether we will be treated to more hours of jet fighters playing silly buggers over the inhabited Danish landscape. I repeatedly measured 80-82dB[A] relative to a measured 50dB[A] background noise in the garden of our rural hovel. With lots of deep bass content from the jets I also measured at dB[C][Slow] meter settings and easily exceeded 85dB[C] on several occasions.

What made me decide to get my SPL meter out was the use of their crackling afterburners as they passed directly overhead on a northerly path. Unfortunately [?] they did not repeat this behaviour once I had my SPL meter outside. So I have no readings for the deafening racket that made. Only average readings from the constant passes overhead. I should have set the meter on a tripod and left it to capture Max reading but hadn't the patience to do so. I kept hoping they would become bored and go away.

There was considerable cloud cover and the jets were flying clearly and visibly just below the obvious cloud base. There were no identifying marks and they appeared only a uniform grey seen through binoculars. Travelling mostly in a clockwise pattern but repeatedly on a south to north path or east to west. I have absolutely no interest nor expertise in identifying particular kinds of jet fighters. They could have been Pootin's finest having a mock dog-fight for all I knew. Though there was never any obvious sign of one jet following anther to simulate combat.

My own guess would be they were deliberately testing the patience and tolerance of the Danes to see if anyone actually complained. This racket went on without a pause from about 10am to 11.20 when we just happened to be working outside in the garden. Their flight pattern would have taken them over much of the inhabited southern and westerly regions of Fyn. With the noise probably heard indoors even over the city of Odense.

It always amuses me to imagine a policeman stopping a car or motorcycle for making excessive and illegal, exhaust noise. Only to have to postpone the conversation for an hour and half. Just to be able to be heard above the constant racket going on overhead. 🙉

How does this oil seed rape on the verge survive without the constant spraying so vital to whole fields of the stuff? Is it only vulnerable due to monoculture?

Thursday 2nd 45-56F, windy, heavy overcast with the threat of some sunshine or none at all. Or some rain or none at all. There are now four, new, previously unknown and different pesticides to be found in many Danish, deep bore, drinking water wells. It seems as if nobody thought to test for them. So they didn't exist.

Walked to the village and back in a gusty wind. My cap blew off as a huge lorry passed. I was careful not to be distracted as I retrieved it. So avoided being run over by a closely following car. Well, they had to follow the lorry closely, didn't they? Just in case there was a new and unexpected break in the 3 miles of completely unbroken double white lines. On this endlessly twisting and humped, rural road. Where most corners are completely blind. With oncoming traffic always driving on the wrong side of the road.

I've just had a horrible thought. Tesla is going to have to teach its auto pilot to cut across every double white line on left hand corners and overshoot on all the rest. Randomly crossing double white lines along the straights and always exceeding the speed limit  will be very helpful too if they really want to fit in.

Otherwise the Danes will shun these cars as failing to grovel to Jante's Law. Given the present doubling of the purchase price through import charges. [To pay for the shiny new fleet of Chumpy's F35s.] Not to mention the compulsory demolition [without compensation] of thousands of homes around the noisy airfields. Teslas are very unlike to sell many cars anyway. Phew, that's a relief! We don't want any of these cars causing panic and confusion. It would be like aliens landing and then trying to drive without a clue as to how to do it badly enough.

Friday 3rd 41-49F,  bright at first but with a cool wind. Walked to the lanes. Heavy shopping in the car. Rain and hail in the afternoon.

Click on any image for an enlargement.

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